Meant To Be...THOSE WHO HAVE WIVES SHOULD LIVE AS IF THEY DO NOT

There are conflict of interests we can have between our relationships with others and our relationship with God.

CONFLICT OF INTEREST

In 1 Corinthians, Paul writes about the tension of how unmarried people can focus solely on pleasing God, but married people are concerned with pleasing their spouse. He tells the Corinthians that he is writing these letters for their good, in order to secure their undivided devotion to the Lord!

1 Corinthians 7:25–35 NKJV

Now concerning virgins: I have no commandment from the Lord; yet I give judgment as one whom the Lord in His mercy has made trustworthy. I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress—that it is good for a man to remain as he is: Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you. But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none, those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess, and those who use this world as not misusing it. For the form of this world is passing away. But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife. There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.

Paul is addressing a potential conflict of interest amongst the people in Corinth. A conflict of interest occurs when someone’s primary interest is jeopardized by a competing secondary interest. As believers, our primary interest is to please God and keep Him enthroned in our hearts, but there are an infinite number of secondary interests that can compete with this desire! Marriage and relationships are complicated. Paul essentially says that there is no way around that fact. However, some of these complications are tensions to be managed; not problems to be solved!

UNNECESSARY COMPLICATION

Paul writes near the end of 1 Corinthians 7 that married people should live as if they were not. He also says people who mourn should live like they’re not mourning, happy people like they’re not happy, and people who buy something like it’s not theirs to keep. Paul is saying that we should embrace what we have, but not complicate things unnecessarily by holding onto something that will ultimately pass away! Married or unmarried, we can easily complicate life by holding onto an idea of what our spouses, friends, or family are meant to be, when in fact God did not intend for that at all! People aren’t meant to be our savior. Only God can fill our hearts. Yet, when we recognize and address the following unnecessary complications, we can simplify our approach to life...

UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS! We all have unrealistic expectations of others, of God, and of ourselves. We tend to project our disappointment in ourselves onto other people who may not be disappointed in us at all. By communicating our expectations with each other, we can avoid the unexpressed expectations that over complicate relationships.

IMAGINARY SCENARIOS! In 1 Kings, Elijah was on the run, terrified that Jezebel would kill him. This worry was unwarranted, as Elijah lived a long life before being taken into heaven by chariots of fire. So often we live in fear of things that never even happen, but we have the power to leave the conversation the devil is trying to use to entrap us in a vicious cycle of worry and anxiety.

APPROVAL ADDICTION! When we complicate our decision-making based on what we think others will like instead of what is actually best for us or what God calls us to do, we lessen our ability to receive true affirmation from God and others. The people who receive affirmation and encouragement the best are those who get their primary approval from God.

REGRET AND RESENTMENT! If we bring our past hurts into present relationships, we tend to choke the potential out of our present circumstances. Many times, we punish ourselves repeatedly for things Jesus already died to forgive and heal. We can simplify our present by fully surrendering our past to God and fully trusting Him with our future.

TOXIC SECRETS! If we keep sin secret, it corrupts every area of our lives. However, when we simplify even the smallest sins to a cycle of confession and repentance to God, we avoid the pitfalls of allowing sin to spread throughout our soul.

UNDIVIDED DEVOTION!

None of us are perfect. In a world of distractions and secondary interests, each of us can look to one of these areas and allow the Holy Spirit to convict us of how our relationships become unnecessarily complicated! Although we may never achieve undivided attention to God, we can live with undivided devotion to Him.

Matthew 6:33 NKJV

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

In Luke 10, Jesus visits the home of Mary and Martha. While Martha opens her home to Jesus, He commends Mary, saying that sitting at His feet is the one thing that can never be taken away from her!

Luke 10:38–42 NKJV

Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.” And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.”

It wasn’t wrong for Martha to serve, but that she should have sat at Jesus’ feet first. In our lives, we can learn to first sit at the feet of Jesus and allow Him to reveal what’s really meant to be.