Marriage, Family, and Sexuality

********** Start Timer **********

-We’re going to begin this study...

…by reading a verse of Scripture...

…that I believe will serve as the foundation for the entire thing:

Proverbs 1:7 (ESV)

7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.

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Pray

I want to start by reading you a rather long quote...

…that introduces a book that we will be using...

…as a loose outline for this study.

(Show Slide)

It’s Entitled:

God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation

By: Andreas Kostenberger and David Jones

They begin it with this insightful observation:

For the first time in its history, Western civilization is confronted with the need to define the meaning of the terms marriage and family.

What until now has been considered a “normal” family, made up of a father, a mother, and a number of children, has in recent years increasingly begun to be viewed as one among several options, which can no longer claim to be the only or even superior form of ordering human relationships.

The Judeo-Christian view of marriage and the family with its roots in the Hebrew Scriptures has to a significant extent been replaced with a set of values that prizes human rights, self-fulfillment, and pragmatic utility on an individual or societal level.

It can rightly be said that marriage and the family are institutions under siege in our world today, and that with marriage and the family, our very civilization is in crisis. — Kostenberger & Jones

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Sadly, that is not an overstatement, brethren.

The Nuclear Family (Father, Mother, Dependent Children)...

…is the most basic and fundamental:

Organizational structure...

Social unit...

…In all the history of the world.

Until the modern day...

…Its existence and prominence...

…has been ubiquitous in all human civilizations!

-Prior to the Fall, It was God’s good gift to his image bearers, to:

Order their societies

Promote their general welfare:

Common/individual good.

Make possible, and increase, the fruitfulness of their labors!

-After the Fall, it became a crucial means, of:

Restraining evil...

Maintaining order in a fallen world!

(Not that this is a comprehensive list of...

...the benefits of marriage or anything...

…I’m just trying to get you to think of it...

…in over-arching, transcendent categories)

What that should tell us about our current cultural climate...

…is that this isn’t a localized and physical conflict.

It’s Cosmic!

It’s PRIMARILY Spiritual.

How it turns out WILL have far-reaching effects on:

You

Your family

This County

This Country

(Potentially) The whole world...

…for generations to come.

(We’re already beginning to see it).

-What we hope to do in this series...

…is to take up arms in this conflict...

(Where we’re able)

…by wielding the Sword of God’s Word.

Kostenberger rightly says:

...the Bible offers satisfying instructions and wholesome remedies to the maladies afflicting our culture. The Scriptures record the divine institution of marriage and present a Christian theology of marriage and parenting...

And he adds:

They offer helpful guidance for those who are single or unmarried and address the major threats to marriage and the family: homosexuality and divorce. — Ibid

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This is how the battle must be fought!

With the clear teachings of Scripture

Any other strategy is sinful pragmatism.

-Think about it:

...If marriage, family, and sexuality were all designed by God...

If He is their Architect and Engineer...

…then to whom MUST we look to find out...

…how to fix what’s broken?

To Him!

To His Word!

-Now, here is where we need to dig a little deeper.

We need to ask some important questions:

How did we get here?

How did we get to the place where...

1/2 of all marriages (in the U.S.) end in divorce?

1 in 3 “Christian” marriages ends in divorce?

(Give qualifier)

Over 1 in 4 children live outside of a nuclear family?

Only 5% of our population “save themselves for marriage,” or are celibate outside of marriage

40% of children are born out of wedlock?

1 in 5 pregnancies (that we know of) end with the murder of the unborn child?

Homosexual unions are protected and hallowed under federal law?

(at least via judicial activism)

We have a de facto national holiday in celebration?

2 homosexual men can adopt sons with our governments blessing?

Transvestites (aka drag queens) are allowed to pole dance in front of small children at schools and libraries?

Men can be Women, and Women can be Men?

(And no one is able to tell us definitively what either of those things mean!)

Men can have babies, and women can be fathers?

Toddlers can “choose” their own gender, and the adults are forced to suffer their delusions?

There are an endless number of genders?

It’s considered possible for a human being to not be any gender at all?

It’s considered possible for a 12 year old to be a cat???

37% of Generation Z have already seen a mental health professional?

(give qualifiers)

-Has the Word of God been sealed up for the last 150 years?

Has it been unavailable or inaccessible to the Western World?

Has it been unclear or ambiguous on these matters?

-Well, if the answer to all of these questions is “no” . . .

…then to what can we attribute the decline of...

Our society in general...

Our families in particular?

You see, the problem isn’t that God’s Word...

isn’t available...

isn’t clear.

The problem is that we reject what it says.

The problem is that we don’t submit to its precepts.

The authors of our book note, that:

The West’s Judeo-Christian heritage and foundation have largely been supplanted by a libertarian ideology that elevates human freedom and self-determination as the supreme principles for human relationships — ibid

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Brethren, if we’re going to stave off this rising tide of apostacy...

...If we’re going to rescue our...

families

churches

nation...

…from what looks like their imminent destruction...

Then, we’re going to have to do something other than just championing individual liberties.

We are going to have to return to...

…a posture of simple adherence to the Word of God...

…In EVERYTHING it teaches.

We are going to have to recover something...

…that has fallen desperately out of popularity.

We are going to have to recover the Fear of the Lord.

Without that… NOTHING that Scott or I say or read...

…will bring about any change in:

your/our hearts

in our families

in our society

in our churches

We are going to endeavor to present to you...

…an accurate “biblical theology” for these matters.

We’re going to try to base everything on the Word of God.

But, it won’t matter to you what God says...

…if you don’t fear/reverence Him in your heart!

Do you see the dilemma?

This is why I always begin pre-marital, and marriage counseling...

…with this very thing.

I tell them:

A Successful Marriage is one that glorifies God.

Only way to do that...

...is to know what He desires for marriage.

Only way to know that:

To go to the source!

What’s the source?

It’s the place where He has revealed:

Himself

All His holy will!

It’s His Word!

-Our Feelings

-Opinions of men

-Alleged oracles from God...

...Must all submit to the clear teaching of Scripture...

-But...

...God’s Word is only effective to the degree that you:

Believe it

Obey it

So, a successful marriage and family must be predicated on:

The Fear of the Lord.

Proverbs 1:7

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Defined:

“reverential awe”

A recognition of his:

Holiness

Righteousness

Power

Holy Wrath

Coupled with a recognition of:

His Goodness

Mercy

Patience

Love

One dictionary says:

It is a fear conjoined with love and hope, and is therefore not a slavish dread, but rather filial reverence

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(Example from C.S. Lewis)

This recognition...

This fear of the Lord is the essential to a recovery of the truth!

Without it, We “suppress the truth in unrighteousness” (Romans 1:18).

-It is Also Necessary for the right application of truth (wisdom)

Proverbs 9:10

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.

(Elaborate)

We see a beautiful picture of this in Genesis 22...

…when Abraham sets out to obey God’s command to sacrifice Isaac.

He does so:

Fearing to disobey a direct command from the Lord...

But also:

Knowing God’s goodness and faithfulness to His promises..

Not fully understanding why He’s being told to do it.

And in response to this, the Angel of the Lord says:

Genesis 22:12 (ESV)

12 ...now I know that you fear God, seeing you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me.”

-The Scripture also tells us, that...

...An abiding fear of the Lord changes you on a fundamental level:

Proverbs 8:13

The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil...

Proverbs 14:27

The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, that one may turn away from the snares of death.

In Deuteronomy 10 we see this in what the Lord requires of His people.

Notice what He leads off with?

Deuteronomy 10:12–13 (ESV)

12 “And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul,

13 and to keep the commandments and statutes of the Lord, which I am commanding you today for your good?

The fear of the Lord causes you to strive to honor and obey him.

-It will also keep you from...

...giving that allegiance to any one else (the fear of man)

Proverbs 29:25

The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.

wanting to please men...

wanting their approval...

needing their affirmation...

...Lays a snare!

...causes you to:

compromise

disobey God

to be ensnared in sin

YOUR MARRIAGE TO FAIL!

But “whoever trusts in the LORD is safe”

The fear of the lord means you:

want to please him above all

desire his approval more than any other

need his affirmation the most (well done good servant)

The presence of the fear of the Lord in your life:

Will cause you to want what He wants

Do his will even if it doesn’t benefit you

even if it “hurts you”

Obey him even if men:

revile you

mock you

mistreat you.

On a practical level:

Do what’s right when no one is looking...

...when there’s no possibility of being caught

(Think Joseph an Potiphar’s wife)

Means You:

Won’t watch pornography

Won’t cheat on your spouse

even if there’s no possibility of being caught.

Why?

Because you want to please HIM!!

It means you’ll love and be faithful your wife:

even when she’s:

being an irrational, emotional basket case

Not fulfilling her conjugal duties

failing in her other duties

It means you’ll be submissive to your husband:

even when he’s:

being overbearing

Stubborn

demanding

needy

harsh

severe

insensitive.

Why?

Because God commands it...

And you fear him

you want to please him

Honor him

Glorify him

Most importantly for our purposes:

It means you’ll believe his word

and submit to it’s precepts:

Kostenberger says that it doesn’t matter:

...what we think marriage or family should be, based on our own preconceived notions, preferences, or traditional values, but what . . . Scripture itself tells us about these institutions.

This, of course, requires a humble, submissive stance toward Scripture rather than one that asserts one’s own independence from the will of the Creator and insists on inventing one’s own rules of conduct. — Kostenberger and Jones

This is what having the fear of the Lord looks like.

Proverbs 3:5-6 encapsulates it perfectly:

Proverbs 3:5–6

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Believing God’s Word

over the culture

over politicians

over celebrities

over your family

over social media

over your own “reason”

Obeying God’s word

even if it is contrary to your desires

even if it produces an undesirable consequence

If this is not your heart toward God and his Word:

Nothing we look at/read from here on out is going to matter

This study will be a waste of your time

Our marriages

Our Children

Our Society

Our World....

…will continue to decline!

The authors of our book conclude chapter 1 like this:

Because the Bible is the Word of God, which is powerful and life-transforming, we know that those who are willing to be seriously engaged by Scripture will increasingly come to know and understand God’s will for marriage and the family and be able to appropriate God’s power in building strong Christian homes and families.

This, in turn, will both increase God’s honor and reputation in this world that he has made and provide the seasoning and illumination our world needs at this time of cultural ferment and crisis with regard to marriage and the family — ibid.

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We aren’t without hope, brethren.

God’s word is sure and steadfast.

It is unchanging and transcendent of culture.

It is clear and reliable.

What we must do is to commit ourselves in submission to it...

…at the very outset of this study.

If we’ll do that...

…our very lives will be transformed by its power!

Amen?

Pray