10 Commandments for Corrective Communication (Part 3) (030823)

10 Commandments for Corrective Communication  •  Sermon  •  Submitted   •  Presented   •  29:38
0 ratings
· 9 views
Files
Notes
Transcript

Scripture Reading

Text: Matthew 5:21-24; 18:15-22

Announcements

As of this past Sunday, we have had 9 FPM commitments turned in that equal $16,989.44.
I failed to kick off Tract Month this past Sunday!
Our K3/K4 preschool classes will be presenting “The Little Red Hen” this coming Friday morning at 11 AM. This is specifically for the parents but please keep them in prayer.
Soul Winning Saturday @ 10 AM
Next week our Jr/Sr High students will be participating in Fine Arts competitions. Pray for all the travelling that will take place.
Master Club Regional competition will take place on Saturday, March 18.
Re-enrollment/Enrollment continues: It looks as though we are going to finish the school year in a strong fashion. (Enrollment currently stands at 83 students!) I have been told that, if re-enrollment/enrollment continues, that we may reach an enrollment of 95-100 students for next year!

Message

Philippians 1:27 KJV 1900
Only let your conversation be as it becometh the gospel of Christ: that whether I come and see you, or else be absent, I may hear of your affairs, that ye stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel;
The Ten Commandments to Corrective Communication

1. Thou shalt go to thy brother first before going to anyone else. (Matt. 18:15)

Matthew 18:15 KJV 1900
Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

Take responsibility

Stay on God’s good side.

Strive for unity.

Commandment #1: Thou shalt go to thy brother first before going to anyone else.

2. Thou shalt have examined thyself before approaching thy brother.

Turn to and read Matthew 7:1-5.
We are not properly confronting and biblically correcting others because we can’t.
Matt. 7:1-5 doesn’t say that we shouldn’t judge. Matt. 7 says that we shouldn’t judge others when we have a “beam” in our eyes.
Too often we are unwilling and/or unable to go to our brother because we know that as we point a finger at someone else, there are 3 other fingers pointing right back at us.
Does that mean that we shouldn’t go to our brother? No.
The world is teaching us to be tolerant – to tolerate sin in our lives.
We will say such things as, “Well, what I did really wasn’t that bad in comparison to what they did,” or “It really wasn’t my fault; I wouldn’t have said what I said if they hadn’t said what they said!
I have often said that it takes two to tango. When there is conflict between two individuals, often both sides are in some way at fault.

God provides us with two opportunities for self-examination.

One is at the Lord’s Supper.

1 Corinthians 11:28 (KJV 1900)
But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup.
I have been slowly reading through a collection of historic Baptist documents regarding church polity: how to conduct church life.
Most of these documents were written by Baptist pastors and preachers during the early to mid 19th century.
One thing that I found: These pastor and preachers took church seriously and they expected church members to take church seriously as well.
Within those documents, as it relates to self-examination and the Lord’s Supper, I found this:
Baptists generally observed the Lord’s Supper once per quarter.
Many churches required a public reading of their covenant and creed at the church conferences held before these “quarterly meetings.”
They felt it appropriate that the Sunday Lord’s Supper observance followed the Saturday church conferences in which they upheld their common faith and practice by reading aloud their covenanted duties under Christ.
They upheld their duties also by exercising church discipline.
In these ways they sought to secure that purity which was prerequisite to a proper observance of the Lord’s Supper.
To allow wickedness among them to go unrebuked and unrestrained would pervert the design of the Lord’s Supper.

The other time for self-examination is when we must confront others.

Unfortunately, too often, instead of examining ourselves, we tolerate sin in our lives and therefore tolerate sin in other people’s lives.
For this reason, when we “Go to our brother alone,” we may need to begin the conversation with, “I need to apologize for…
We must get the sin out of our lives so that we can properly judge. Our prayer must be that which King David prayed in Psalm 139:23-24:
Psalm 139:23–24 KJV 1900
Search me, O God, and know my heart: Try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting.
Commandment #2: Thou shalt have examined thyself before approaching thy brother.

3. Thou shalt listen before speaking.

James 1:19–20 KJV 1900
Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.
All communication begins with a listening ear.
The dad and mom who are meeting the needs of their children are parents who are listening to their children.
The Sunday school teacher who is best able to apply God’s Word to the lives of their students is a Sunday school teacher who is listening.

How should we listen? Watch your P's and Q's

Be Quiet

In order to listen, you have to be quiet.
Proverbs 10:19 KJV 1900
In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: But he that refraineth his lips is wise.

Be Quick

If we have the truth and we are going into a situation to help, we can listen. Listening doesn't mean you agree, it means you understand.
Ecclesiastes 5:1 KJV 1900
Keep thy foot when thou goest to the house of God, and be more ready to hear, than to give the sacrifice of fools: for they consider not that they do evil.

Ask Questions

One of the greatest tools of getting to the root of a problem is to ask questions.
Also, by asking questions we are able to avoid simply making accusations.
When someone comes to talk to you they generally will not tell you the root problem, they will tell you the fruit problem. You have to find the root. That is done by asking questions.
Secular humanist psychologists do a great job asking questions.
However, when they get to the root of the problem, they blame shift it onto something else or they don't let the person take the responsibility for their sin. Secular humanist psychology is great at asking questions and finding the root problem, but they don't have an answer for the root problem.
We as Christians have the real answer for the root problems but too often we don’t get to the root problem because we don’t ask questions and aren’t listening.

Be patient

Let them say it out and have it all the way through and don't interrupt.
A lot of times a husband and wife get together and they begin to communicate to try to resolve a problem and the wife finally starts to open her spirit. As soon as the one who is not as expressive as you begins to tell you a situation or how they feel, you interrupt and close their spirit and then you never resolve anything.
One of the best things that could happen after a conversation like this is that you forgot what you were going to say because it meant you were listening to the person.

Look at the person

Look right at the person's eyes. Some of you try to communicate with people and you never look at them.

Pay attention to posture

A lot of times it is not what they say, it is how they say it. You cannot deny the fact that the way that somebody says something is also a very strong language. Facial expressions also tell a lot.

Why should we listen?

No regrets.

You'll show respect.

That is lacking in our homes today. If you respect your child, I think your child will respect you.

Find the root.

Earn the right.

When you listen, you have earned the right to be able to share your thoughts. When you have listened, you have opened the door to corrective communication.

Who is speaking?

Your family

The most important time in the family is when someone else is talking. You practice that rule one week in your family and you will see amazing change.

Your fellow workers

Sometimes your fellow workers are saying it through body language. There is tension, anger, and bitterness on their face.

Your friends

The world

Have we stopped listening to the world and their cries?
A wonderful example for us to follow in this regards is God.
Exodus 3:7–8 KJV 1900
And the Lord said, I have surely seen the affliction of my people which are in Egypt, and have heard their cry by reason of their taskmasters; for I know their sorrows; And I am come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians, and to bring them up out of that land unto a good land and a large, unto a land flowing with milk and honey; unto the place of the Canaanites, and the Hittites, and the Amorites, and the Perizzites, and the Hivites, and the Jebusites.

God

Are we listening to God? God is a communicator. He gave us His Living Word in Jesus Christ and revealed to us His written word. God is a good listener.
Think about all the things He hears from us?
Too often we are too busy talking that we can’t even hear God. The prophet, Elijah, in 1 Kings 18:8-19 is a perfect example of that.

What are we listening for?

We are listening for the facts which leads us to commandment #4.

4. Thou shalt have searched out the facts before going to thy brother.

Proverbs 18:13 KJV 1900
He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, It is folly and shame unto him.
The dictionary defines “search” as…
To go or look through carefully in order to find something missing or lost;
To look at or examine carefully in order to find something concealed;
To explore or examine in order to discover.
If we desire to resolve conflict and restore relationships, we must be willing to search out the facts.
Searching out the facts requires us to do four things:

Searching out the facts requires time and patience.

Sometimes in our “rush to judgment” we must be careful to take the appropriate time to gather all of the facts.

Searching out the facts will save us from needing to apologize later.

Have you ever had to “eat humble pie” or have you ever “put your foot in your mouth?” It was probably because you did not have all of the facts!
Searching out the facts requires that we listen.
Searching out the facts means that we are seeking the truth.
These last two points really go back to the purpose of corrective communication. If we are not willing to listen and we’re not willing to know the whole truth it is probably because we are simply eager to prove our point instead of resolving the conflict and restoring the relationship.
Parents, these last two commandments are good for us to remember when our child comes home from school and tells us how they got in trouble for something that they didn’t really do or that wasn’t really their fault. Until you have had the opportunity to listen and gather all the facts, make sure that you side with and support the authority figure.

4. Thou shalt have searched out the facts before going to thy brother.

This is where we will pick up next week!

Prayer Requests

Class of the week
Islamic Center of South Charlotte
Hispanic ministry
Indian ministry
Estates (and now Ridge) at Sugar Creek
Ridge at Sugar Creek
Missionary Kevin White (Bolivia)
Pineville Mayor Jack Edwards
Police Chief Mike Hudgins
Fire Chief Mike Gerrin
Related Media
See more
Related Sermons
See more