Building on a solid foundation
Sermon • Submitted
0 ratings
· 14 viewsNotes
Transcript
We are looking at marriage, specifically how Satan tries to erode away the foundations of our marriage.
Last week we looked at 3 foundation supporting “pylons” that can stop any Satanic attack in its tracks.
1: Dedicated Forgivness
2: Dedicated Love
3: Uncompromising Faithfulness.
Today we are going to look at how to choose the best possible partner according to the author of marriage Himself: The Lord God.
Advice for both men and woman.
Advice for both men and woman.
1: Never date a person who does not share your worldviews and values.
14 Do not be mismatched with unbelievers; for what do righteousness and lawlessness share together, or what does light have in common with darkness?
For some reason i need to keep reminding people that this is not a suggestion but an actual command.
The reason for this is so simple:
24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
When you get married you cease to become an individual. You are not one person but two people walking in covenant.
Here is what the bible says:
8 being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
two christians in a relationship have the same mind - the mind of Christ.
But a couple who are not of the same mind end up as a double minded entity.
And whether an individual is double minded or a couple is double minded the results are always the same: Unstable in all ways.
Now let me move on to the men:
Here is my advice to all single men:
Here is my advice to all single men:
Your first job is NOT to find a wife - finding a wife is easy.
Your first job is to transform yourself into the type of man that only attracts the best type of woman.
In order for you to do this you first need to answer the question:
What is the best type of woman?
This matters because you need to know what the best type of woman are looking for.
So men, listen up - That includes married men who want to be better.
This is what a good woman is looking for
1: Competence.
1: Competence.
8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
The opposite of competence is clueless.
A competent man has learned self control, diligence and the necessary skills to provide for his family.
A clueless man wanders aimlessly through life.
2: Courage.
2: Courage.
Courage is what being a man is all about.
13 Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.
When it comes to acting courageously the bible literally just says “Act like men!”.
The opposite of courage is cowardly.
And here is the kicker: Being a coward is actually sinful.
When God writes up a list of characteristics that describe a person heading to Hell what does God list first?
8 But for the cowardly, and unbelieving, and abominable, and murderers, and sexually immoral persons, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.”
Courage is not a matter of never being afraid, fear is both normal and often necessary.
Courage in a man is being willing to lead with integrity even when we are afraid.
3: Caring.
3: Caring.
Do you know why spending time with God is so wonderful and refreshing to our souls?
7 having cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares about you.
Its because God cares about us.
In the same way when a man is caring, then his presence is comforting.
The opposite of caring is being calloused, and no woman wants a calloused man to raise her children.
4: Consistant.
4: Consistant.
By consistent i mean that woman like men who dont give up easily.
Why not? Because often the reward only comes from being consistent.
9 Let’s not become discouraged in doing good, for in due time we will reap, if we do not become weary.
Not only that, but as the head of the family i mans consistency will also regulate the families stability.
Stability is the most important and desirable quality for woman looking to raise a family.
The opposite of a consistent man is a capricious man. If you dont know what capricious means it means: “To be given is sudden and unaccountable changes in mood and behavior”.
Mark my words: No good and stable woman wants to get involved in an unstable man.
5: Confidant.
5: Confidant.
Please note i said confidant NOT arrogant!
And here is what i mean by confidant: A confidant man is a man who can trust his wife or girlfriend.
7 For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.
A man who is not confidant is insecure. And insecure people take their insecurities out on other people.
For example: A man who is insecure about his own faithfulness will constantly question YOUR faithfulness.
Also a man who has no self confidence will constantly question the relationship.
Summery:
Summery:
Men, forget trying to find the right woman.
Become a man of competence, a man of courage, a caring man, a man who is consistent and a man of confidence.
Do this and you wont have to look for the right woman - The right woman will find you like a drug sniffing dog at a boarder crossing!
Because the right woman are looking for this in a man.
Now to the woman:
Now to the woman:
What i have to say to you is significantly different to what i said to the men.
Woman, by far, pay the highest personal price in raising a family.
Who is going to put their body through the most traumatic changes over 9 months?
Who is going to leave the workforce to raise, nurture and care for the children?
So what does that mean for you as a single woman?
It means that you have, not only the right but also the moral obligation, to set the highest reasonable standard that a man has to archive before you even look his direction.
God knows this and has given all woman powerful biological tools that will help you see past the boys to the real men.
What are these tools?
Estrogen and Progesterone.
Estrogen and Progesterone.
These two hormones give woman an almost supernatural ability to judge the worthiness of men.
Unfortunately most woman today have this God given mate selection discernment taken away from them.
How pastor?
Simple: Birth Control
Look, if you have chosen to live the empty, sinful life of sleeping with any boy who has good hair and a crooked smile - then please, stay on birth control.
But for the woman who want to enter into a godly, meaningful and rewarding relationship - get off birth control.
Why?
Let me read you the official report from the university of Californian medicine on the effects of birth control on a woman's ability to choose a mate:
“Studies have reported that women exhibit elevated preferences for behavioral dominance in potential mates on higher fertility days of the menstrual cycle. This study was designed to test which hormonal signals may be associated with such cycle phase shifts in dominance preferences. Women indicated their mate preferences for dominant personality traits, and self-reported cycle day was used to estimate each woman’s levels of estrogen, FSH, LH, progesterone, prolactin, and testosterone on her day of testing. Women’s preferences for dominance in long-term mates were elevated on cycle days when estrogen is typically elevated, including during the luteal phase when conception is not possible. Preferences for dominance in short-term mates were highest on cycle days when LH and FSH are typically peaking. These findings support the existence of two types of hormone-regulated psychological mechanisms, each of which is proposed by a distinct functional theory of menstrual phase preference shifts: (1) a between-cycle mechanism that increases preferences for dominance in long-term mates during more fertile cycles characterized by higher estrogen, and (2) a within-cycle mechanism that couples enhanced preferences for dominance in short-term mates to the timing of ovulation.”
What does this mean?
It means that while your hormones are in an infertile state, such as when you are on birth control, You are only attracted to men who are “short term” candidates.
That list of desirable traits in men: You are attracted to their opposites.
But, when your hormones are not being chemically altered and you are in a fertile state, you are attracted to men who display desirable long term characteristics like in the list.
Off the pill you want competence from a man. On the pill you tolerate clueless men.
Off the pill you want a man with courage. On then pill you are happy to date a coward.
Off the pill you value a man who cares. On the pill you make excuses for his callousness.
Off the pill you love the reliability of a man consistency. On the pill you find his unstable capricious behavior fun.
Off the pill you want a man who is confident. On the pill you cant the different between confidence and arrogance.
How many of you have heard of a western phenomena called “the 7 Year itch”?
Here is what it is: For what was an unknown reason in western marriages, a happily married couple has its highest statistical change of divorce.
Why? What happens at around 7 years?
Well a few medical genus figured out that most couples decide to start a family around 7 years after getting married.
So here is what happens:
The wife was on birth control and so what severely handicapped when it came to choosing a husband.
Everything is fine while she remains in hormonal limbo.
But then to start a family she goes off birth control.
After about 4 months her hormones are back to normal, and as a result she wakes up one morning and sees her husband as he truly is for the first time in her life.
And suddenly she’s not happy.
The poor husband hasn't got a clue what just went wrong.
For no reason she starts fighting with him. Things that he used to do without any problem are suddenly wrong.
She finds fault with everything!
He cannot understand what is going on, she cannot understand why he is the way he is and divorce court here we come.
Woman: If you want to know if your boyfriend is a waste of your time or weather he is a good solid investment for your life: Stop chemically altering your brain.