A Family that Has Gratitude Not Attitude Part 1

A Grateful Home

(Play the video “Parent Rap” from RightNowMedia)

I have said many times before that sin always manifest in an attitude. So, if sin manifest in an attitude, the goodness of God manifest in gratitude.

When your heart and your home are filled with gratitude instead of attitude it changes so much. It changes the environment and perspectives of others in the home.

A home with attitude is filled with strife, contention, stress, pessimism, and frustration. But a home with gratitude is filled with appreciation, consideration, affection, and encouragement.

When gratitude become the natural response attitude is no longer the first reaction. Because of my extreme gratitude to God I guard my heart and seek to strengthen my convictions for His name sake. Because I am extremely grateful for my wife and family, I guard my character and integrity. Because I am extremely grateful for my gifts, callings, and responsibilities to my church family, I am diligent and faithful to the Lord and my service to Him. As a result, I do not live with an attitude towards God, my wife and family, or my brothers and sisters in Christ.

The essence of my gratitude are both a great love and a holy fear. When I consider God every day in my life I consider Him with great reverence or holy fear. When I think about my wife I think of her in great reverence.

These are two essential character traits I seek to impart into my children as a father. These are character traits I pray to impart into you and the Body of Christ.

I have heard people demand honor. Honor is not something you demand. It is not the same as fear by intimidation. Some men or women receive honor because of their rank, title, or position. But others receive honor for things like bravery and selfless sacrifice. One is just a high level of respect. But the other is a deep reverence resulting from selfless sacrifice and servanthood.

This is the kind of father and mother God had in mind in Deuteronomy 5:16.

Deuteronomy 5:16 ESV

“ ‘Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

The word “honor” in Hebrew is kabad כָּבַד meaning to show reverence to; to fear; to esteem or look up to.

Rashi says the word “honor” used in this command of God, the father is listed first because it seems that the child in youth draws nearest to and esteems the mother. But later in adulthood grows to recognize the honor of the father. Therefore, the father is listed first that the child might recognize the blessing of both in honor of God. Here in Deuteronomy it is the word means to show or demonstrate honor with your words, actions, and heart.

However, in Leviticus 19:3 we see it is reversed.

Leviticus 19:3 ESV

Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father, and you shall keep my Sabbaths: I am the Lord your God.

Here the word for fear, honor, or reverence is yr’ יָרֵא having a similar meaning except it includes to stand in awe of; to recognize the contributions and bring increase to.

Regarding this passage, Rashi states:

“Here Scripture mentions the mother before the father because it is manifest to Him that the child fears the father more than the mother and therefore by mentioning the mother first Scripture stresses the duty of fearing her” (Sefaria).

This phrase catches my attention, “The duty of fearing.” I ask you, what is the connection throughout God’s commands to us both as children of the Lord, children of our parents and parents of our children. What is the connection between the blessings of God being received with a heart of gratitude and a reverent and holy fear of the Lord void of an attitude?

Look with me at the two verse that proceed Leviticus 19:3.

Leviticus 19:1–2 ESV

And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, “Speak to all the congregation of the people of Israel and say to them, You shall be holy, for I the Lord your God am holy.

Here is a clue to our questions. The command is for the entire community of God, every household, to be holy; upright before the Lord.

Where there is holy gratitude there is a change in attitude. The older I watch my children grow the more gratitude I express to the Father. The older I get as a son, the more my attitude is changed as a father. The older my father grows, the stronger my gratitude grows. And I owe him a lot of gratitude.

One day when my father was in the hospital in really critical condition, he called me and said, “I need my son, but more so son, I need my Pastor to come and pray with me.”

Young people, do not take for granted a good father and mother while they are with you. No matter their shortcoming and mistakes, remember you will indeed have your share. And one day when you are the parent, you will then figure out that you too do not have it all figured out like you thought you did.

Listen to the words of this song by James Blunt, about a father who chased away his sons childhood fear of the monsters in his room and under his bed but now its the sons turn to chase away the monsters of fear as he watches his father pass from here.

“Oh, before they turn off all the lights I won't read you your wrongs or your rights The time has gone I'll tell you goodnight, close the door Tell you I love you once more The time has gone So here it is

Sleep a lifetime Yes, and breathe a last word You can feel my hand on your own I will be the last one, so I'll leave a light on Let there be no darkness in your heart

I'm not your son, you're not my father We're just two grown men saying goodbye No need to forgive, no need to forget I know your mistakes and you know mine And while you're sleeping, I'll try to make you proud So daddy, won't you just close your eyes? Don't be afraid, it's my turn To chase the monsters away” (Monsters by James Blunt).

As messy as your family may be, won’t you be grateful? When you live grateful you live with a different sense of purpose and passion. Are you grateful for the children and grand children? then honor the Lord with them and the responsibility He has set before you. Don’t miss it. Are you grateful for your spouse? Then embrace them and don’t lose it. Are you grateful for the Lord and all He has so abundantly blessed you with and your salvation? Then honor Him with all of your life, not just parts of it.