Set Free from Shame

Prayer: Lord, we are so grateful that you are not finished writing the story of our life yet. Some of us today need a new chapter. Help us to turn the page from guilt and shame into a new story of healing and belonging. Amen.”

(Illustration idea: Surprise Ending. Today's sermon has a twist at the end that will be a surprise for many in your congregation, maybe even yourself. You might want to begin the message by asking if anyone likes a good story that has a twist at the end. This could be a movie or a book. Additionally, you can share a movie or book that you loved that had a surprise ending.)

Hello, Church! We’re going to look at a story today from the Gospel of John. It’s a true story. And I think it's a beautiful story because it is about someone who was completely broken and living in shame but had an encounter with Jesus, and afterward was never the same. And I want to let you know right now that there is a twist at the end of this story that will be a surprise for most of you, even those of you who are familiar with this story because you’ve heard it 100 times. But I’ll save that twist for the very end. The Gospel of John says,

John 3:17 ESV

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

Nowhere is this more clear than in the story we are about to read. God has no desire to condemn people, only to save them through his Son.

Do you receive that truth for yourself? Do you know that God does not condemn you, even in your unique brokenness, mess, and imperfections? He doesn’t shame you nor condemn you. He’s not even disappointed in you. The word “disappointed” is not found anywhere in the original language of scripture. He understands you and loves you right where you are today. That DOESN’T mean he’s going to leave you there, however. He wants to save you from the inner darkness that has power over you: anger, anxiety, resentment, depression, greed, lust, you name it. He wants to — and will — save you from all of these. In their place, he is going to plant peace, joy, love, and courage. He’s going to save the world, too, not just you. He is going to heal this world and all the brokenness we see in it. All the injustices and evil systems will be gone. All oppression and unfairness will be no more. He’s going to do that one day. Everything. He’s going to heal it all. God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world but to heal it. Isn’t this mind-blowing good news?

Now Jesus learned that the Pharisees had heard that he was gaining and baptizing more disciples than John—although in fact it was not Jesus who baptized, but his disciples. So he left Judea and went back once more to Galilee.

Now he had to go through Samaria. So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon.

When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)

The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.)

Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”

“Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?”

Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.”

He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.”

“I have no husband,” she replied.

Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”

“Sir,” the woman said, “I can see that you are a prophet. Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem.”

“Woman,” Jesus replied, “believe me, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”

The woman said, “I know that Messiah” (called Christ) “is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.”

Then Jesus declared, “I, the one speaking to you—I am he.”

Just then his disciples returned and were surprised to find him talking with a woman. But no one asked, “What do you want?” or “Why are you talking with her?”

Then, leaving her water jar, the woman went back to the town and said to the people, “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?” They came out of the town and made their way toward him.

Meanwhile his disciples urged him, “Rabbi, eat something.”

But he said to them, “I have food to eat that you know nothing about.”

Then his disciples said to each other, “Could someone have brought him food?”

“My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work. Don’t you have a saying, ‘It’s still four months until harvest’? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. Even now the one who reaps draws a wage and harvests a crop for eternal life, so that the sower and the reaper may be glad together. Thus the saying ‘One sows and another reaps’ is true. I sent you to reap what you have not worked for. Others have done the hard work, and you have reaped the benefits of their labor.”

Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, “He told me everything I ever did.” So when the Samaritans came to him, they urged him to stay with them, and he stayed two days. And because of his words many more became believers. They said to the woman, “We no longer believe just because of what you said; now we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this man really is the Savior of the world.”

- John 4:5-42

Main Teaching

Let’s begin by making some observations about what’s going on here because there’s a lot. I want to point out some context and background items so that the story doesn’t lose its punch.

Context & Background

Jesus sits down beside a well because he is very tired and thirsty from his journey. He’s alone because his disciples went into town. A woman approaches to draw water. She is all by herself and she is a Samaritan.

1. Lots of things to point out here. First, Samaritans were despised by the Jews. They did not interact together because the Jews felt the Samaritans had abandoned the Jewish faith by intermarrying with Gentiles and adopting Gentile practices (this goes back to the Babylonian exile). The Jews felt the Samaritans weren’t “real Jews'' because they adopted Gentile and pagan practices both in life and in their religion.

It was very unusual for a Jew to speak to a Samaritan, but that’s exactly what Jesus did. Not only that, it was unusual for a Jewish man to speak to a woman, alone. Not because the man might be accused of impropriety, but because women were so far beneath men on the social ladder. Women were more like objects to be used rather than people to be valued.

The fact that Jesus speaks to (1) a Samaritan, and (2) a Samaritan woman, is quite eye-opening. Look at how the disciples reacted when they returned to find Jesus talking with this woman. It was quite radical. 

2. The second thing I want to point out is there were differences in worship practices between the Samaritans and the Jews. The Samaritans believed that worship was to be conducted on Mount Gerizim, which is where this story is taking place (or at least nearby). The Jews believed the center of worship was, of course, in Jerusalem at the Temple.

Jesus says that “true worship” will take place neither on Mount Gerizim nor in Jerusalem, but instead will take place “in the Spirit and in truth” which can be anywhere, not determined by location (4:23). Jesus says

John 4:23 ESV

But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him.

3. The third and most glaring detail in this story is the woman herself. She comes to the well “at noon” to draw water. Typically women would head out of the village to draw water in the mornings when it was cool. Not in the midday sun and heat. Additionally, the woman was alone. Typically women would go together to draw water. The fact that she’s by herself and drawing water at a usual time is an indication that she has no friends at best, or at worst has been shunned. We find out why she has no friends in her discussion with Jesus.

Can we agree that this woman is no saint? Clearly, she is a sinner. She’s had five husbands and the person she is now with is not her husband. How many of these men belong to other women from the community? Is this why she is shunned? The local women don’t want to associate with their husband’s mistress. Certainly, we can agree she is no saint.

That said, there are men sinners in the town also! Let’s not pick only on this one woman. If she’s been with six men, there are six men just as guilty. Should God destroy this adulterous town? What does God in Christ do?

Jesus Reaches Her By Humbling Himself

It’s so interesting and revealing what Jesus does. And if Jesus does it, it means God is doing it, because Jesus perfectly reveals the Father. What does Jesus do?

Jesus humbles himself. He speaks to a Samaritan woman. This is an act of humility, not one of control or hierarchical authority.

John 4:7 ESV

A woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.”

Jesus is humbling himself here, speaking to a despised Samaritan woman, whom he already knew everything about. She is not a saint, she is a sinner. And Jesus engages her in relationship and conversation. He is not too good and pure to talk with her. He knows she is a sinner and yet, he looks upon her.

Where do we get this idea that God is too holy and pure to look upon sin? Where do we get the notion that God is so righteous that he cannot engage with sinners? HINT: NOT FROM JESUS. Jesus was constantly eating, healing, loving, talking, and praying with sinners like this woman. He was not offended. He was not self-righteous. He was kind, loving, truthful, and direct.

And guess what? She responded to that. She received his kindness, love, truth, and directness. She owned up to her faults. And, even though Jesus brought the skeletons out of her closet, she went back into town and brought everyone out to meet him.

Her Shame

Here we have a lady who not only was guilty of sin but probably lived her life in shame. She was ostracized by the other women in the village. She walked alone to get her water in the noonday sun.

Do you know the difference between guilt and shame?

Guilt has to do with your behaviors, like when you do something wrong.

Shame has to do with your identity, and what you believe about yourself.

A person living with guilt says, “I made a mistake.”

A person living in shame says, “I am a mistake.”

Do you see the difference?

Shame is when we say to ourselves, “There is something wrong with me. I am nothing but …expletives.” And we live our lives believing this about ourselves. That's shame. Shame involves deep humiliation about ourselves, not about something we’ve done. There’s a difference.

The Holy Spirit will convict us of guilt (something we’ve done, or not done) and of sin, but he will never shame us.

Notice Jesus points out what she’s guilty of doing (five husbands and the current one isn’t her husband) and not what she’s guilty of being. Jesus doesn’t belittle her, insult her, or condemn her. Why? Because the Son of God came to save us, not condemn us. Nor did he come to shame us. He knows we’re good enough at shaming ourselves without any help!

So remember, guilt is when we feel bad about something we’ve done or not done. Shame is different. Shame is when we feel bad about who we are.

Let me ask you: do you define yourself by your failings and weaknesses?

The truth is that religion could define you that way. Other people will probably define you that way. And you might even define yourself that way. But God doesn’t define you that way. God sees your sin, mistakes, and failures, but He knows that’s not who you are. You are his son. You are his daughter. And he loves you very much. And he is going to clean you and heal you from those sins, mistakes, and failures if you simply look to Jesus on the cross.

Because of Jesus we no longer need to define ourselves by our biggest mistakes, our ugliest sins, or even by what other people think of us. He came to save you, not to condemn you. His salvation extends to your deepest hurts, your worst mistakes, and your ugliest sins. He will heal them all because they are not part of who you are. Let them point you to the empty tomb, that Christ is risen, and that his resurrection power will resurrect you also.

Jesus Heals Her And Starts A New Story

I promised at the start there would be a twist at the end of her story. And there is. The story of the Samaritan woman doesn’t end in verse 42. Her story is much longer than what we find in the gospel of John. In fact, she changes from being a notorious sinner into a humble and loving saint.

Here’s the surprise ending: this Samaritan woman was known by the early church after the death and resurrection of Jesus. She didn’t fade away as a nameless, faceless person in one of Jesus’ stories. She was known. Do you remember how I kept referring to her as a sinner in this message? Well, that didn’t last long. God got a hold of her! And God did his thing!

She was known then, and is still known today, as St. Photini, which means “The Enlightened One.” Yes, she’s a SAINT! She’s no longer a sinner! She was considered an equal to the apostles because she led her entire village to meet Jesus and, after the resurrection, became a missionary to areas around the Mediterranean with her two sons. She led her five sisters AND her two sons to Christ, who then traveled with her to share the gospel. Her life changed the day she encountered the self-giving love of God in Jesus Christ. He installed in her Living Water, the living presence of God, and her life was never the same.

This woman at the well, St. Photini, was eventually martyred for her faith in Christ by the Roman emperor Nero. Her sons were martyred also. The story is that Nero had her killed by throwing her down a dry well as a way to mock her and the encounter she had with Jesus. She followed Christ joyfully and courageously to the very end of her earthly existence. She looked death in the face and would not recant her devotion to the Lord because she had encountered the God of love.

And now you know the rest of the story.

Many Protestants are unaware of this surprise ending. Our Protestant church history sometimes only goes back to the Reformation with Luther and Calvin and stops there. But the Orthodox Church and the Catholic Church know her story well. February 26th every year is “St. Photini Day” in the Orthodox Church. The Catholic Church celebrates her life in March every year.

Set Free From Shame

Do you see how this story perfectly shows that,

John 3:17 ESV

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

God does not condemn you. He wants to save you because he loves you.

God is not done writing YOUR story. He knows about all the secrets and the mess, and he’s not going to leave you there. He’s going to install Living Water inside of you, too. Do you want it?

Let’s pray together.