Husband and Wife for Life, Part 1

Maybe you have never heard or been taught what I am teaching today.

But I want to note that what we cover today may not be your experience. Please, know that there is no intention of judgment over you based on what I share.

Although today will be a summary / recap of what we have been learning, we will be filtering it specifically through the lens of marriage. What I will set before you are the standards set before the Fall and God’s expectations for a happy marriage.

Therefore, it’s what we are to strive towards even if it hasn’t been our experience.

It’s what we are to teach and by prayer and the power of the Holy Spirit are enabled to live out in righteousness.

Maybe what we cover today you already have heard. Then let it serve as a reinforcement and reminder.

Romans 15:14–15 (NASB95)

And concerning you, my brethren, I myself also am convinced that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able also to admonish one another. But I have written very boldly to you on some points so as to remind you again...

Nothing today is supposed to say to you, “You are a bad person.” Everything is supposed to point to God’s perfect and loving plan including how to make that plan work in a broken world.

I’d like to begin with a comment from my daughter, who is part of the “Z” Generation.

She was trying to figure out a way to describe to her generation why traditional marriage was not outdated.

She said many of her peers see traditional marriage as “old fashioned”.

She said that many of them saw the traditional roles of men and women, husband and wife as outdated and applicable in a different cultural milieu.

My first thought - First Avengers - Captain America commenting that his suit looks a little old fashioned: Phil Coulson: “Everything that’s happening…The things that are about to come to light…People might just need a little old fashioned.”

My second thought: Marriage and roles for men and women are not outdated. They were defined from the beginning by God and therefore transcend time and culture. But sin has corrupted the original design and mankind has tried to redefine what God had originally created as good.

Elizabeth went on to discuss how they viewed traditional marriage and the roles of women in particular. Feeling like women’s traditional roles were somehow less than or degrading as compared to a man’s traditional roles.

And those concerns / arguments are ones that I hear all the time.

Original Marriage Before the Fall “Standard” - Genesis 1:26-28; 2:20-25; 3:20

Dignity and Equality - Imago Dei

Unity (Oneness) and Character - Our “likeness”

Naked and Unashamed

Interdependence and Complementary

Purpose and Fulfillment

Fruitful and Multiply: Life and Prosperity

Cultivate and Rest

Blessed and Blessing

Roles and Responsibilities

Domain and Keeping - Man - Protect and Provide: Leadership and Stewardship

Helper and Nurturer - Woman: Mother of all living: making alive

Love and Respect

Enjoying the Good: One Flesh

Male (zakar) and Female (neqeba) - biology in reference to procreation.

Man (ish) and Woman (ishshah) - gender

woman - an adult female who can give birth to children.

terms used together mean husband and wife.

After the Fall “Comparison” - Genesis 3:8-19

Dignity and Equality

Naked vs. Exposed - ashamed

Vulnerable vs. Closed - closed - hiding from God and one another

Truth vs. Deception

Partnership vs. Independence

Purpose and Fulfillment

Blessing vs. Cursing

Worship vs. Work

Unity vs. Fractured

Life vs. Death

Roles and Responsibilities

Protect/Provide vs. Abuse

Stewardship vs. Abandonment

Leader vs. Dictator

Helper vs. Competitor

Domain vs. Dominion - Desire husband, rule over.

Fighting the Evil

One Flesh vs. Any Flesh

Naked vs. Exposed

Pure vs. Depraved - Romans 1:18ff

Enjoying the Good vs. Enjoying the Evil - pornography a billion dollar business, human sex trafficking

Setting Sail for the Wrong Harbors:

Seneca - “You must know for which harbor you are headed if you are to catch the right wind to get you there.”

The Harbor of Personal Fulfillment

The Harbor of Companionship

The Harbor of Sexual Fulfillment

The Harbor of Social Acceptance

God’s Harbor - 3 Purposes of Marriage: Why Did God Create Marriage?

Mutually Complete One Another - Not good for man to be alone. Helper.

Was Adam alone? No God was there.

And yet Adam was alone. No one like him.

There is a unique need of aloneness inside of mankind.

Helper:

Psalm 30:10 NASB95

“Hear, O Lord, and be gracious to me; O Lord, be my helper.”

Psalm 54:4 NASB95

Behold, God is my helper; The Lord is the sustainer of my soul.

God had plans for Adam that he could not fulfill without a mate. He was incomplete.

When God calls you to marry, He gives you a spouse who, by divine design, will complete you.

In God’s wisdom He brings 2 people together to balance each other and to full each other’s gaps.

Can we do more for God’s kingdom together than separately?

Stronger as a team than as individuals.

Interdependence.

2. Multiply a Godly Legacy - Be fruitful and fill the earth.

Psalm 127:3–5 NASB95

Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They will not be ashamed When they speak with their enemies in the gate.

Psalm 78:5–7 NASB95

For He established a testimony in Jacob And appointed a law in Israel, Which He commanded our fathers That they should teach them to their children, That the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born, That they may arise and tell them to their children, That they should put their confidence in God And not forget the works of God, But keep His commandments,

Fathers and Mothers Passing on truth to their children.

The home is to be a sort of greenhouse. A nurturing center where children grow up to learn character, values, and integrity.

In no other setting does a child learn more about how to live and relate to his God.

stat about teens and who has most influence in their lives, it’s still the parents. not coaches or teachers.

3. Mirror God’s Image

God created us to know Him and live within the context of His plan for our lives.

God chose to reveal to us part of His character and being through our relationships.

We love because God is love.

We forgive because God forgives.

Ephesians 4:32 NASB95

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

We are in a covenant relationship with each other because God is in a covenant relationship with us. Commitment

We are and interdependent team, because God is also an interdependent team. Unity

Our marriages are a reflection of the Image of God and of Christ and the Church

Ephesians 5:31–32 NASB95

For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.

Therefore, God needs to then be at the center of the relationship.

This is Why Marriage Matters to God.

There is more at stake than just 2 people enjoying each other’s companionship and partnership.

On one hand, how people view our marriages can help or hinder their view of God.

Secondly, in the cosmic battle of Good vs. Evil, God vs. Satan, Satan will do everything to undermine everything that God has established as good.

Hence the reason for the battle over the biblical definition of marriage.

The struggle over proper Roles and Responsibilities.

Thirdly, what can we do, even if we haven’t lived up to God’s standard...What if you set sail for the wrong harbor?

Reconciliation: There is hope.

The Seed of the Woman, Jesus, has crushed the head of Satan. Gospel

God redeems and changes people.

He can change what we messed up and turn it into something good.

Recommit. Re-prioritize.

Let’s start by putting God at the center of our lives.

Then let’s put God at the center of our marriages.

Right Teaching.

God is Good.

God’s Ways are Good.

Learning to do things God’s way.

Closing Song: Good Good Father