Redeeming Marriage
Notes
Transcript
21 submitting to one another in the fear of God.
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Preaching Series: Living the Gospel
Subtitle: Living as saints of God and ambassadors of Jesus Christ
So far:
Our identity is in Christ
We died to our old self
We have been united in Christ’s death, burial and resurrection
“Just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father even so we also should walk in newness of life”.
“I’m a new person in Christ”
“The Old man is gone”
“I have been redeemed” (through the finished work of Jesus)
If we have been redeemed by Christ and into Christ, what about human relationships?
Today, I will talk about one of the most important or I should say glorious of human relationships - Marriage.
The title of my message is “Redeeming Marriage”
Truths about marriage:
God authored marriage and designed it perfectly.
God elevated marriage in Christ.
Failure in marriage is a consequence of the fallen nature, not a flaw in its design.
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God authored marriage and designed it perfectly.
There is a design on how the wife should behave toward the husband.
There is a design on how the husband should behave toward the wife.
Ask: What should wives do? The big “S” word - Submit
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
Ask: What should husbands do?
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
This is a beautiful dynamic that God designed. God used the relationship between Christ and the church in His design of the relationship between the husband and the wife.
Questions from the wives:
“Why should I submit to that man”?
The answer is found in the next verse in verse 23
23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
How should the wife submit to her husband?
24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
explain: “just as the church...”
the scope is everything..
Is that submission thing unconditional? Are there limits?
Should I submit to my husband if he is not being a good husband? If he is not godly?
The word for submit is not the same as the word follow, or cooperate…
There are examples of wives in the Bible that did not follow, obey or cooperate with an evil husband.
1 Samuel 25 - Abigail and her stupid and evil husband Nabal.
Submission works both ways, the key is the verse preceding..
21 submitting to one another in the fear of God.
verse 21 ESV - “out of reverence for Christ”
we have to submit to one another, in fear of God or in reverence to Christ.
Although husband and wife submit to one another, they exercise a different form of submission - out of fear of God and reverence to Christ. Fulfill your role. The husband is also to fulfill his role of loving his wife and leading his family.
to submit is about authority.. the wife should not attempt to usurp the God-given authority of the husband over the wife and over the family for that matter.
Part of the fall of man is the woman’s tendency to usurp the authority of the husband.
16 Then he said to the woman,
“I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy,
and in pain you will give birth.
And you will desire to control your husband,
but he will rule over you.”
How about the husband?
This is where:
2. God elevated marriage in Christ.
You ought to love your wives. Just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her.
Husbands you look out for your wives in everything, including their spiritual warfare.
26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.
Marriage is grounded on the love of Christ. The work of the Lord Jesus on the cross made marriage even more beautiful. Going back to verse 23:
23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
The husband is both the leader, the provider and the protector just as Christ is all that to the church.
The husband being the head does not mean he has to overreach his headship.
We are compared to Christ.
But we are not perfect leaders — Christ is perfect.
We are not perfect providers -
We are not perfect protectors.
We are finite while Christ is infinite.
Husbands sin. Christ is without sin.
This is the mystery of marriage, and yet it is so glorious.
The grounds for the husband being the leader, provider and protector of the wife is our union with the Lord Jesus Christ.
28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.
Husband, you don’t think you can love your wife perfectly, let us start with just love yourself. This is not selfish...
“Happy wife is a happy life”. - some husbands check out!
3. Failure in marriage is a consequence of the fallen nature, not a flaw in its design.
Here is the practical implications.
The design:
31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
mother-in-law and wife issues — maybe because God designed a certain way and there are guard rails that He set.
“Leave and cleave”
issues, examples of .. causes pains and headaches..
“Leave, Cleave and Aleve” (picture of Aleve here)
32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Paul unlocks the mystery here...
33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
This verse is the practical key to the married life.
God designed the woman to seek that visible demonstration of the husband’s love, she needs to feel that love.
On the other hand, the husband is wired to seek that respect from his wife. That he is affirmed as a leader, as a provider, as a protector.
Old fashioned some say — women are now able to lead, to provide, to protect.. Satan’s invasion of marriages and families.
Picture of the Crazy Cycle here from the book by Emerson Eggerichs
Husbands, do you need to understand your wife? this is the key. Wives, you need to understand your husbands, this is the key. God had it laid out in His word.
I have a version of this cycle, this is not flat but a two-dimensional when this continues, it is a downward spiral.
Don’t blame God and his design.
If a relationship is already trapped in this crazy or vicious cycle. It takes only one of you — “little redeemer” - Pastor Henry.
Examples with Guia..
Grace.. love, forgiveness