Personal Relationships

Intro

Good morning, everyone!

We’re doing something different this morning. Dr. Dave Waller and I are going to co-teach this passage. It’s something Dave and I have talked about doing for a while and this passage really suits this format well.

For those of you who don’t know Dave, Dave and Gwen are members here at Gateway Chapel. They’re kids Scott and Jaclyn and their three kids have been a part of this church since the jump.

Dave was a licensed therapist for decades. He is now happily retired. While this passage is not about emotions it deals with emotions and things that Dave is going to provide a lot of helpful thinking about.

For those of you who watch sports it’s like a broadcast where Dave is like the ex-QB who gives the color commentary, tells us things about the play we wouldn’t have known because we never played QB. I’m just kind of giving the blow by blow and teeing up questions for Dave to help us understand Jesus’ words and following him more closely.

And it’s great to have different voices up here. So thanks Dave for being here.

Pray

I’d like to take 5-10 minutes to do a brief Bible study to set up our conversation.

First, we’re in Matthew.

We’re studying through Matthew in 2023.

It’s the first book of the New Testament. The Bible is about the God who made the world and made humans to rule with him, but we broke relationship with God, and that’s called sin, and things went really badly. So God chose a people - Israel, loved them, gave them the Law as a guide for how to love him and others and and gave them the promise that one day he would send a King who would crush sin and bring the kingdom back to Israel and the whole world.

So Matthew argues that Jesus is that king.

And Matthew shows us that Jesus has a virgin conception which is not normal, he’s born in the line of David which is the family of kings, and all these other ways that Jesus fulfills the Old Testament promise of God.

Jesus gets wildly popular, starts teaching that the Kingdom has come, and everyone should reconsider their entire lives because of this. And he starts calling a new people to himself who are being healed by him and following his teachings on life.

And his first teaching we read in Matthew is in chapter 5 and it’s what we call the Sermon on the Mount.

He goes up on a hill and teaches about the Kingdom which he says is now here.

He gives the Beatitudes, and shows how the Kingdom comes to all people.

And then last week he said...

Matthew 5:20 NASB95

20 “For I say to you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.

So what does Jesus mean by that? In our text today and all the way through chapter 5 is Jesus describing in part what that righteousness looks like in our relationships with others.

I think it’s really insightful that Jesus begins talking about life with God by describing how we live with people. I need to think about that more.

And so he goes in this formula of saying, “You’ve heard it was said...” But I say to you...

He says that 5 times in this section talking about anger, lust, lying, retaliation, and loving your enemies.

He’s reinterpreting the law and pointing to life in the kingdom and how the heart of someone in the kingdom responds to others.

But he also says we should do more than listen and think about these, but we need to do these things.

Matthew 7:23–27 NASB95

23 “And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.’ 24 “Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 “And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock. 26 “Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. 27 “The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and it fell—and great was its fall.”

And so our passage is Matthew 5:21-26...

Structure is pretty simple...

Passage begins with verse 21

Matthew 5:21 NASB95

21 “You have heard that the ancients were told, ‘You shall not commit murder’ and ‘Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.’

Jesus here is quoting from the 10 Commandments in Exodus...

God made a covenant of love with Israel and then gave them the Law to say, “Here’s how I want you to live in my kingdom.” And one of the laws was do not murder because people are made in the image of God. There’s tremendous value in every human life. So if you murder someone, you will be punished.

But Jesus gives three parts to this new interpretation of the law.

The first is whoever is angry wit his brother shall be guilty before the court.

That word angry essentially means enraged. Hot. You’re so angry, given the opportunity, you would physically harm this person. You need to leave the room kind of angry.

And that anger is equivalent to the same guilt as murder in the previous verse.

The second part is whoever says to his brother, “You good-for-nothing”

ESV says ‘whoever insults his brother’

NIV says ‘Raca’ which is the actual Aramaic word

It’s like sound you make when you’re clearing your throat to hawk a loogie.

It literally means ‘empty head’

It’s a put down, meant to demean someone. Loser. Idiot. Nerd. That guy’s a joke.

And that punishment is guilty before the supreme court, or Sanhedrin, which is the highest Jewish court, it’s where Jesus will go before his crucifixion.

The third part is whoever says “You fool”

ESV and NIV agree here, and the punishment is to be thrown into the hell of Fire. Literally Gehenna, which was an actual place outside of the city. It was a trash dump. It was a place in the Old Testament where the unfaithful Israelites performed child sacrifices to foreign gods.

So if you merely say ‘you fool’ you go to the place of murder.

And you fool is a more serious put down. It’s like, pardon my french, “You f-ing jerk.” “You son of a you kno what.” The feeling that goes behind this kind of phrase is one of complete and utter hatred.

So then Jesus gives us two illustrations of how to respond to people.

The first is when someone is going to the temple to offer a sacrifice.

This was a sacred act, foundational to their life with God and as a people.

And Jesus says if you are in the middle of that and remember your brother has something against you, stop! And that was just not taught back then. Interrupt your worship of God? Jesus said it’s that serious. Pursue reconciliation.

The second is if you have someone who is accusing you and wants to take you to court, make friends quickly with them.

NIV says settle matters quickly

ESV says come to terms quickly

Why? Because maybe you can avoid going through the courts, where you will inevitably pay a price (which we know is true of the legal system today) and instead you can restore relationship with that person.

So I think the meaning here is Jesus is showing that kingdom life goes beyond actions.

Living in the Kingdom and the righteousness that surpasses the scribes and pharisees is someone with a kingdom heart who values people and pursues reconciliation.

He says ‘brother’ a ton, but talks about more than actions but how we go about things. He wants us to see that life in the kingdom changes more than what I do but how I think about other people.

So as I think about application, how does this not apply to us?

More than 26,000 people were killed in homicides in 2021. How many of those could have been avoided with Jesus’ teaching?

How many divorces happened since the start of COVID? Could relationships have been restored?

How many friendships have been broken since COVID?

How many churches have closed, split, or been hurt by damaged relationships?

Every single person here has relationships affected, has felt anger towards others, said things we regret.

I check the ESPN app pretty often because you know, sports.

And they use anger as click bait.

“So and so is enraged about the Seahawks free agency moves”

“Bob and Bill get in a heated exchange about the Mariners chance this year”

Or politics…what is cable news if not 24 hours of being angry about things and other people

And if we think Jesus is just taking this too seriously…how about suicide rates with kids? Bullying is so painful that some kids would rather physically die than take the words they’re receiving from others.

And just in my own heart, I’m not bullying people, but I’m pretty good at harboring resentment. And I can smile at you but in my heart I don’t care about you…or I think bad thoughts about you...

This is serious stuff and we all want to grow in this.

Dave let’s start here…Jesus is talking about being angry. What is anger?

Is it sin to feel angry?

Anger in the Scriptures

Adam and Eve

Cain & Abel

Jacob and Esau

Joseph and Brothers

Foundational to the poisonous spread of sin in our world.

Jesus gives us illustrations on how to reconcile with people…is he saying we MUST reconcile with everyone?

Is Jesus just saying, “Be kind”?

So how do we deal with the anger in our lives?

How is that possible?

Communion

Installation: Doug Eash

Benediction