How to deal with tragedy

We have a mental checklist for life. Happy marriage: check. Healthy kids: check. Good reputation: check. Great job: check. Enough money: check. All the pieces are lining up. But then tragedy strikes: The bottom falls out on your finances; you get breast cancer; your spouse dies; or, in my case, you learn that your son was born with a brain injury. It’s in these times that we can relate with Ruth’s mother-in-law, Naomi, whose life was also hit with tragedy: because of a famine she was forced to move to a foreign land, her husband dies, and then both of her sons die

Ruth 1:3–5 NKJV

Then Elimelech, Naomi’s husband, died; and she was left, and her two sons. Now they took wives of the women of Moab: the name of the one was Orpah, and the name of the other Ruth. And they dwelt there about ten years. Then both Mahlon and Chilion also died; so the woman survived her two sons and her husband.

Ruth 1:20–21 NKJV

But she said to them, “Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went out full, and the Lord has brought me home again empty. Why do you call me Naomi, since the Lord has testified against me, and the Almighty has afflicted me?”

I heartily proclaim “God is good” when circumstances are good. When I think God is producing the outcome I desire, I am pleased. But how should I react when my prayers seem to go unanswered? When I, like Naomi, feel as though God has turned his back on me? Is he still good? Does he hear my prayers for my son? Where can I find comfort?

There are times I am tempted to blame God for the condition of my son. I feel wronged. (What possible good could this serve?) And then he reproves me

Isaiah 55:8–9 NKJV

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.

I’ve struggled and wrestled with this. I’ve even been angry and brokenhearted. One hand pushes away from God while the other hand reaches for him. Like Paul, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate, I do” I am torn. “For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out

Romans 7:15 NKJV

For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do.

Romans 7:18 NKJV

For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find.

But then, God’s Word comes with power and pierces through my emotions. I realize that God is “my refuge and my shield.” I echo what the Psalmist proclaimed: “I have put my hope in your word

Psalm 119:114 NKJV

You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in Your word.

Maintaining that hope is difficult. I am tempted to despair. My son may never be free. The mountains that loom ahead overwhelm me. I feel like I cannot climb them. Then, I’m reminded: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness

2 Corinthians 12:9 NKJV

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

I still ask, though, is this how God rewards those who follow Him? Where is his loving-kindness? He returns with

1 Peter 4:12–13 NKJV

Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy.

When I am tired of the battle, Christ comforts me with his presence

Hebrews 13:5–6 NKJV

Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we may boldly say: “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?”

2 Corinthians 4:16–17 NKJV

Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory,

Psalm 119:28 NKJV

My soul melts from heaviness; Strengthen me according to Your word.