True Christian Friendship

Introduction

We are going to look at John 15:12-17 this morning.

I briefly touched on this passage in last week’s sermon, but I wanted to take a closer look at it this morning for three reasons:

First, because it truly is one of the most amazing, yet overwhelming passages in John’s Gospel.

In it, Jesus calls His followers to love one another sacrificially; that His followers are not His servants, but His friends; that He reveals the will of God the Father to His friends; and that He chose His friends and appointed them with a mission.

This is particularly overwhelming when we consider that this was not simply for this small group of disciples, but for all whom He saves, including all of us today who believe on the Lord Jesus Christ.

Second, because the call to love one another matters as much today as it did to those early disciples. And yet, it is just as hard today, if not harder to love one another.

Third, because I know something about myself that I’ve struggled with for years: I’m not always a very good friend.

I get wrapped up in my own stuff and miss showing love to others; I say hurtful, unnecessary things; I can be forgetful about other’s needs; I can say things in hopes of looking good in front of others, instead of what needs to be said; I get angry for dumb things and lash out in mean-spirited or cynical ways; I don’t trust easy and hold innocent people accountable for past hurts by other people; I don’t forgive as I ought to…and I could go on.

Maybe this is just me, and I’m preaching for a congregation of one this morning. I don’t know. But, I kind of doubt it.

So, if you are even slightly struggle at being a friend, maybe there will be something for you here as well?

Body: John 15:12-17

Love one another

There are two bookends of this passage: love one another (verses 12 & 17)

In both cases, Jesus commands that they love one another. Why? Look at the broader context.

In verses 1-11, Jesus tells them that He is the vine and His followers are His branches and therefore we must abide with the vine to receive the spiritual nutrition we need in order to bear fruit for the Lord. Thus, He teaches His followers about our relationship to Him.

Next, the passage we are looking at this morning focuses on how the branches are to relate to one another.

The passage that follows tells how the branches will relate to the world around them when they abide in the vine: namely that the world will hate the branches, because the world hates the vine.

Taking all three together we can draw the conclusion that follower of Christ are to love one another because we are all abiding in the same vine and because we need one another.

The Lone Ranger...

Ironically, was the Lone Ranger really alone?

Jesus isn’t looking for Lone Ranger Christians…He’s called us into relationship with other people.

Are relationships always neat, tidy, clean, and painless? Of course not!

Notice that Jesus doesn’t say, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you, so long as those other people don’t ever let you down, frustrate you, say or do hurtful things, treat you poorly, or do anything else to upset you.”

And yet, this, more often than not, is the caveat that we add to this commandment.

So, between these bookends, let’s see what Jesus tells us about loving one another in true Christian friendship.

Verses 12-13

True Christian friendship is shown through sacrificial love.

Jesus clear command here is that they are to love one another as He loved them. How’s that? Sacrificially.

In truth, love is always sacrificial...

The “love” that the world talks about is an emotional feeling…it wains with time, and it’s typically transactional...

This is not biblical love. Biblical love is a willingness to sacrifice for another person, whether that person deserves that love or not.

When Jesus says “as I have loved you” we need to grasp the truth that not one person has ever or will ever deserve the love that Jesus gives.

And yet, He gave it anyway.

And this is the kind of love He wants us to strive after. Easy right?

But it is so vital that Jesus repeats it twice here so all His followers, and would-be followers would understand.

We will probably never literally lay down our lives for someone else, as Jesus speaks about in verse 13. And no sacrifice we give comes close to what Jesus gave. But, the sacrifice we most often will have to do is to deny ourselves for someone else.

That’s super easy, right?

How can we show sacrificial love to others?

Forgive others;

Don’t hold grudges;

Don’t demand your own “rights”;

Listen more, speak less;

Pay attention to other people;

Verses 14-15

Vital Truth: Those who seek to obey Jesus are His friends.

We do not become Jesus friends through perfection or sinlessness. It is not works that makes us Jesus friends.

We are Jesus friends when He is both the Savior and Lord of our lives.

Savior = We recognize that we are sinners who need a Savior and receive the free gift of forgiveness of sins through the anointing sacrifice of Jesus on the cross.

Lord = because of what He has done for us, we seek to follow Jesus by obeying what He commanded.

Here’s the deal: all who call upon Jesus and Savior and Lord are His friends.

Imperfect as we may be!

And therefore, are people we need to strive to love, if we indeed are Jesus friends as well.

True Christian friendship seeks God’s best for another person.

Jesus was well within His rights to call His followers His servants. Jesus was, is, and always will be the Master.

And yet, He chose to call His followers His friends. And He displayed this by (among other things) revealing everything the Father told Him to them.

This was what was absolutely best for them.

If we are to follow this example, then we must seek God’s best for others.

Not what we think is best; not what we want; but God’s best.

How do we do that?

Make known what Jesus has revealed to you…(we are more afraid of people’s response to us about Jesus than we are about their non-response to Jesus!)

Make an effort to love people where they are at, not where you want them to be...

Pray for others.

Verse 16

True Christian friendship is strengthened by our shared mission as Christ’s followers.

One of the things that cannot be missed about this verse is that Jesus isn’t speaking to them as individuals, but as a collective. This is important if we are going to grasp what Jesus is saying.

He chose all of them and He appointed all of them to the mission to bear lasting fruit, which will result in God’s blessing of His people.

This speaks to a shared mission. Not that everyone fulfills the mission exactly the same way, but that the entire body has a shared mission that the individual parts of the body carry-out.

One thing that should draw us closer in Christian fellowship is that we are all on a shared mission, yet each one fulfills that mission differently.

I had dinner with some friends last night and as we talked together, something struck me:

We had the NCAA basketball tournament on in the background, but there were varying degrees of interest.

I am a basketball fanatic…March Madness is my second favorite time of year…and basketball is a key outreach activity for me...

But, within our group, one guy likes basketball but doesn’t follow it as closely as I do, one guy was fairly un-indoctrinated in basketball, one guy used to be more involved than he is today, and the other could care less.

And yet, we all still have brotherly love with one another. And, while the other guys won’t fulfill part of their mission through basketball, like I do, each one of us are drawn closer together through our mutual appreciation of one another, our willingness to celebrate God’s kingdom being advanced through whatever avenue God would use, and the fact that we all desire to sharpen one another to fulfill each of our unique parts of the shared mission.

The point being: because our mission is the same (to love God completely and love people correctly by making disciples, baptizing disciples, and teaching disciples) we have something far more important in common than anything that separates us. Therefore, we ought to be strengthened in our Christian love.

So What?

This morning we’ve seen:

We are to strive to love one another;

That all who receive Jesus and Savior and Lord are His friends;

And that true Christian friendship is shown through sacrificial love, through seeking God’s best for others, and through our shared mission.

The question is, then:

Are you striving to love other believers as Jesus commanded? If not, why not?