When I Am Hurting, Jesus Makes the Difference

Review

Good morning, we are beginning a new series called the Difference Maker. It’s a series all about Jesus and all about the difference that he makes in our lives.

When I was in high school, my summer job was as a caddie at the golf course my dad worked at, and when I began to feel called to ministry, that would often come up, because the players would start asking me about college and career and all that. I remember one conversation in particular, where the gentleman I was caddying for said, “Me and the big guy are good. We have an agreement. I leave him alone and he leaves me alone.”

And I would assume you don’t have that exact attitude, but I do think sometimes that feeling can seep into our lives, where we think that Jesus doesn’t really make a difference in my life. I do the church stuff because I’m supposed to, but when it comes to dealing with my problems, I’m probably just better off doing that on my own. And in this series, we want to look at how Jesus is the ultimate difference maker for everything in our lives.

So, last week, we talked about our worry and how Jesus is the difference maker because he shows us that God cares for us and we can trust God in everything. And today, we’re going to look at how Jesus is the difference maker when I’m hurting.

Prayer

Introduction

I normally try to begin with a story or a joke or something lighthearted to ease us into the message, but since we’re talking about hurt and pain today I want to begin by reading a passage from C.S. Lewis’ book A Grief Observed, which he wrote after his wife passed away. He begins the book by describing all things he’s noticing about his grief and he says this:

Meanwhile, where is God? This is one of the most disquieting symptoms…You go to him when your need is desperate, when all other help is vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolding and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence. You may as well turn away. The longer you wait, the more emphatic the silence will become. There are no lights in the windows. It might be an empty house. Was it ever inhabited?

I wanted to start with this because I think that, as Christians, we have a tendency to rush through pain, to minimize it, and to jump straight to hope and joy and faith. And we’re gonna get there, I promise, but at the outset, I just wanted to acknowledge that, in the midst of pain of all kinds, there often is a very real feeling of silence from God, of going to him, of asking for help and feeling shut out, feeling the distance between you and him. And that’s not a reflection on faith or spiritual maturity or anything like that. Jesus himself spoke from the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” How Jesus responds to hurt in this world and in his own life was always very real, very human.

So, if you’re here today and you don’t know why, because God feels like an empty house, because your pain and your hurt is overwhelming you, I want you to know that I’m glad you’re here and that you don’t have to put on a fake “church face” and you can be who you are, where you are, and I’m praying specifically for you today, that God would make real to you the truth of his presence, the truth that you’ve been sitting in his living room the whole time. Amen.

And truthfully, what we’re going to look at today is the answer to C.S. Lewis’ question: “Where is God?” because we’re going to see what Jesus is up to as he interacts with hurting people in the Bible.

Our main text will be from Matthew 9:18-26, and we’re going to read that now and see the difference Jesus makes in our lives when we are hurting.

Matthew 9:18–26 NLT

As Jesus was saying this, the leader of a synagogue came and knelt before him. “My daughter has just died,” he said, “but you can bring her back to life again if you just come and lay your hand on her.” So Jesus and his disciples got up and went with him. Just then a woman who had suffered for twelve years with constant bleeding came up behind him. She touched the fringe of his robe, for she thought, “If I can just touch his robe, I will be healed.” Jesus turned around, and when he saw her he said, “Daughter, be encouraged! Your faith has made you well.” And the woman was healed at that moment. When Jesus arrived at the official’s home, he saw the noisy crowd and heard the funeral music. “Get out!” he told them. “The girl isn’t dead; she’s only asleep.” But the crowd laughed at him. After the crowd was put outside, however, Jesus went in and took the girl by the hand, and she stood up! The report of this miracle swept through the entire countryside.

This is a story of two people in pain, two people who are hurting, who come to Jesus for help. And Jesus makes all the difference in their lives. As we look closely at this passage, I think we can see, to how Jesus responds to me, when I’m hurting.

Jesus Pays Attention to Me

So, the first thing I want us to know is that when I am hurting, Jesus Pays Attention to Me.

Karly medical issues - not being listened to by her doctor.

That can be how it feels when we’re hurting. Like no one sees me, no one sees my pain, no one understands my pain. And it’s even worse when it feels like God doesn’t see us. But what I think we see in this passage is that Jesus is paying attention.

At the start of this passage, Jesus is in a conversation with the disciples of John the Baptist. When the synagogue leader comes up to him, Jesus immediately stops what he’s doing and leaves to go with this man. He’s not too busy; he’s not annoyed that he asked for this. He just gets up and goes with the man. When the woman touches his robe, he stops and he turns around to talk to her. Think about that. How often do we talk in passing? I’m on my way out the door shouting an answer to my wife. I’m on the phone between meetings. Jesus doesn’t give half his attention to this woman, he stops and looks at her and pays 100% attention to her in that moment.

God Sees Me

It’s beautiful throughout scripture, that God pays attention to those in need. Hagar, when she is alone in the wilderness, lost, abused, hurt, God comes to her and he speaks to her and she said, “God sees me.”

Leah, forced to be married to a man who didn’t choose her and didn’t love her, had a child and said, “Yahweh has looked on my affliction.” He saw her pain, when no one else did.

Jonah, in the belly of the fish, reflects on how he almost died because of his own choice to run from God, and he says, “in my distress, I called to God and he answered.” God is always looking and listening to his people.

In Numbers, Moses recites for Aaron the priestly blessing and it includes the wonderful phrase, “May his face shine upon you.”

No matter where you are or what kind of hurt you’re experiencing, even if no one else sees you, God does. Even if no one else is listening, God will. Right now, his face is shining upon you.

No Comparison

I also think it’s interesting how this woman approaches Jesus. She thinks, “If I can just touch his robe.” It doesn’t tell us why she chose to go this route instead of asking him directly. Maybe she was embarrassed or afraid of rejection. But I think it’s also possible that this woman felt like her need, her hurt, wasn’t as significant as the other man’s. I wonder if she thought, Jesus is on the way to something important, to heal a bigger hurt than mine. I don’t want to interrupt him and what he’s doing, so I’ll just quickly touch his robe and that way I won’t have to stop him.

Don’t we do that? Don’t we compare our pain to someone else’s pain? “Somebody’s got it worse than me.” So, we try ignore how we feel, try to brush it off and assume that God is busy helping someone else. But Jesus isn’t brushing aside your hurt. He’s not dismissive or busy or anything. He has already stopped to look at you. He is paying attention to you, he is weeping with you.

Then there’s the flip side, being the leader whose daughter had died. I imagine that during this interruption, he was like, okay, Jesus, cool but let’s get this show on the road. Her issue is not as serious as mine. Have you ever done that? You see God working in someone else’s life and you’re like come on, they didn’t even need that. I’ve got a REAL problem over here.

Like a waiter…I need my ketchup so why do you keep going to that table over there?

But God isn’t waiter bouncing from person to person. Jesus isn’t worried about the time because he knows he has all the time in the world. And that’s Jesus in his human limitations. In his body, he couldn’t literally stop to be with the woman and go to resurrect the girl at the same time. But with the coming of the Spirit, God is fully present with everyone, all the time.

Touching Hands

Which brings me to the last thing I wanted to point out from this passage, which is that it makes a big deal of touch. The synagogue leader asks him to lay hands on his daughter, and the woman who stops him

We don’t get a lot of detail in the story, here but it’s likely that in both cases, in the touch of the woman and in the taking of the girl’s hand, Jesus would have been “unclean” according to the Old Testament law.

Here’s the wonderful truth about Jesus: He isn’t afraid of our hurt, our pain, our sickness, our anger. Maybe you’ve experienced before where you tried to express how you felt, tried to open up your hurt and share it with someone else, but it was too much for them and you could tell that they pulled back a little bit. They moved away from you instead of toward you. Jesus always moves toward us in our hurt.

Psalm 34:18 NLT

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

If you are brokenhearted, God is close to you, he is moving toward you, he is calling you Daughter, Son, he is encouraging you, he is lifting you up.

Jesus Turns My Pain into Joy

The second main idea that we can see from this passage is that, when we are hurting, Jesus turns our Pain into Joy. And where we see this is really simply in the fact that Jesus heals the woman of her chronic illness and he resurrects the girl. The last verse tells us that the report of the miracle spread throughout the countryside. I can only imagine the joy of the woman who had a face-to-face conversation with Jesus and was finally healed after years and years of illness. I can only imagine the joy of a father seeing his daughter alive again. They had been playing funeral music outside the house, but I imagine it quickly turned into a party when the girl came down the stairs. Jesus probably stayed for a little bit to do the Cha Cha Slide.

What I’m Supposed to Say

So, here’s the thing. I’ve been in church a long time. I was baby Jesus in the live nativity at two months old. So I know what I’m supposed to say here. Here’s what I’m supposed to say: Jesus healed the woman and he will heal you! And Jesus resurrected the little girl and he will resurrect the dead things in your life!

The problem that I have been wrestling with all week is that’s true in a sense, but in another sense it’s also not true.

Because if you’re like me, you have had the experience where you have been hurting, suffering, facing some situation in your life and you prayed and you prayed and you prayed, and nothing. You faced C.S. Lewis’ empty house. The relationship never healed, the cancer got worse, the depression didn’t go away.

And sure, maybe I could explain that experience by saying it’s just a problem on my end. I don’t have strong enough faith, or I’m not paying attention to what God is really doing, but I can look at other believers who are far more godly and holy and faithful than I am, yet they have the same experience. And I look even to the Apostle Paul, who had that mysterious thorn in his flesh, who prayed for it to be taken away and God did not take it away and he did not reprimand him for having too little faith, he gently reminded him, “My grace is enough for you.”

I think we have to be honest about the reality of pain and suffering in the world and in our lives. In a great essay on human suffering, Howard Thurman began with the simple statement, “Suffering is universal for mankind.” The Bible does not shy away from human suffering or rush past it or try to explain it away. What we see in the Psalms of lament is a pattern that begins with suffering and ends with worship. I don’t think that’s because their worship has replaced their suffering. I think they’re making a sober choice to worship in the middle of their suffering.

Jesus, The Resurrection and The Life

So, as we look at our main text today and the miracles that Jesus does, and the joy that he brings to these people from their pain, I don’t think they’re trying to communicate that if you just have enough faith, then God will automatically remove you from the horrible situation that you’re in. I think they’re trying to communicate something specific about Jesus, about how Jesus is the difference-maker between life and death, between wholeness and sickness, between pain and joy, and that these miracles are markers of what Jesus is preparing to do in own resurrection from the dead, and it’s in his resurrection more than anything else that we can find joy.

It’s in what God is doing through Jesus in order to remake the whole world and to turn all our pain into joy.

Sometimes that comes in this life, in God’s timing. I had the privilege this year of being close to one of those miraculous healings. Of praying in the hospital for someone when the outlook was not good, and leaving the hospital unsure of what would happen, and seeing God move mightily over the next few days to bring healing and recovery. It was amazing and joyous and wonderful.

Paul, in 1 Corinthians, says that “If our hope in Christ is only for this life, we are more to be pitied than anyone else in the world.”

Listen, I’m on the record about how much God cares about your life now and he is interested in what is happening in this world right now and we shouldn’t just be biding our time until heaven, but we can’t forget that Heaven is where the ultimate joy lies. There are nine resurrections in the bible. What’s true of all of them? God can do a miracle now, but the big problem, the brokenness of this world would remain the same.

So, the joy that comes later, in the final resurrection, is far better. So our true hope is not in the miracle of now, but in the miracle of our relationship with God, and the miracle spoken about in Revelation 21:

Revelation 21:4 NLT

He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”

Sit on that truth for a second. What will it be like to live in a world without death or sorrow or crying or pain? For those things to be gone forever? For the God of the universe to come close to you and wipe away the tears of all the hurt you are experiencing now and to put those things behind you for eternity?

I believe that when we put our hope in that future, the joy of that day can begin to fill us even now, even in the midst of the pain, in the midst of the tears and the sorrow, we can experience the joyful presence of God.

I don’t know if you guys have seen those ads for early payday? If I understand it right, basically you can sign up to get access to your paycheck two days early. I assuming it works because the bank knows the money is coming, so they front it to you, and you have access to the money early. Let me tell you, we know the joy of God is coming. We know that there will be a day when pain is gone forever, and because we know it’s coming, you can access it today.

If you’re hurting, and you’re waiting on God to change your situation, to heal your hurt, to resurrect the death in your life, whether that happens tomorrow or next week or at the Second Coming of Jesus, you have access to the joy and the hope of heaven right now.

And I don’t know how God works out the timing of it all, but I do not that there is joy in his Spirit, and that, in the end, he is making ALL things new.

Conclusion

The band can come.

In that same essay on suffering, Howard Thurman wrote that “the answer to suffering is best seen when men act in response to love,” for in love “he can make death an instrument in the hands of life.” What he means is that when a person is willing to give up his life for someone else, they give meaning to their suffering by using it to serve someone else. This doesn’t have to be at the extreme of giving up our lives for others, but any act of self-sacrifice is an opportunity to use suffering for the sake of others.

Of course, the clearest and most obvious example of this is Jesus’ own death. He said that there’s no greater love than to lay down his life for his friends. Jesus willingly subjected himself to culmination of all human suffering and evil by choosing to die on behalf of us all. In his death. IN 1 Peter 2 it says that Jesus suffered innocently and then it quotes Isaiah, “By his wounds you are healed.”

I don’t know what you’re going though or what kind of hurt is in your life, but I believe the two most powerful answers to hurt and pain and suffering and grief are first, that God is with you. He’s paying attention to you, but not only that, he’s suffering with you. And secondly, that, he is bringing about healing now and ultimately, in the future, when he will wipe away every tear from our eyes, so that our mourning will turn to dancing, our pain will turn to joy.