The Fight for Your Marriage

Key Ideas

Don’t fight with your spouse…fight for your spouse.

Don’t take the easy way out, fight for what’s worth fighting for.

Ephesians 5:21–33 ESV

21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Outline

Fight Legends Example: Joe Lewis

Giant fist statue in Detroit to honor Lewis

One of greatest fighters to ever fight

Held heavyweight title for 12 years straight – defended it 25 times

Known for knockout punch “Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.”

“There’s a certain way you fight like a Christian that leads to victory; and there’s a certain way you fight as a Christian that leads to defeat – nobody wants to be that way; fight like a champion.”

Series Recap: Life is like a fight – if you’ve lived at all you know it’s like this

We want comfort, relaxation, the easy way

Life’s a fight for everybody – rich, poor; have kids or no kids

We’re pushing & hammering through

2 Tim 4:7 – I have fought the good fight

I’ve been battling, running, struggling & striving

Fighting this thing called life

Not just any fight, it is a spiritual fight

There is a battle being waged for our souls – whether you know it or not, the battle exists

God is pulling for us, God has won the victory for us – he wants us to win and experience victory

But there is an enemy of our souls who is fighting just as hard if not harder

If you’ve walked with God for any amount of time, you’ve experienced this

May be having wonderful and uplifting experience with God, but feel under attack like never before at the same time

Struggle is not against flesh & blood … Eph. 6:12 – there is a spiritual battle and the devil wants to take you out … John 10:10

If you realize it, you’ve got a chance

If you don’t realize it, the enemy is just going to drag you down

So much of Christianity talks about fighting so you can get to a place OF victory – don’t fight FOR victory, you fight FROM victory

How to Live in Victory In Marriage

Don’t fight with your spouse, fight for your spouse – Eph. 5:21-33

What is Marriage? (v.31)

Marriage is God’s idea and is a gift and a blessing, 2 people come together – both moody, impatient, selfish

Chemistry between them – furious, passionate, emotional

Throws in little kids

What is God’s idea he will bless – he has a plan and design for marriage– it represents God

Church is the bride of Christ

Passion and heart for his church – marriage is example of that

God wants YOUR marriage to WIN (Prov. 5:18-19)

Proverbs 5:18–19 ESV

18 Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, 19 a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.

Marriage is a Covenant

Commitment in spite of feelings/emotions

Pastor Tim Keller – “The essence of marriage, then, is not a declaration of present love, as important as that is. To say ‘I love you’ is not marriage – you can say that and not be married. Marriage is not the declaration of present love, it’s the binding promise of future love. It’s a promise not to feel warm and loving all the time because nobody can promise that. It’s a promise to be loving and tender and faithful and cherishing and serving. See these are action words regardless of the ups and downs of emotions or circumstances long term, through thick and thin.”

We’re going to be in this together, no matter how good or how bad – part of your marriage vows.

Times when you don’t feel it – when it feels like a fight

Don’t give up, stay true to your commitment and God will bless it

What Does Marriage Do? (v.25-27):

Ephesians 5:25–27 ESV

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

Marriage makes us better – a good marriage will make you better

One falls, the other picks up

Ecclesiastes 10:8 ESV

8 He who digs a pit will fall into it, and a serpent will bite him who breaks through a wall.

Stronger together

Not walking alone

Marriage makes us more like Jesus

God more concerned with making you holy than making you happy

God wants to purify you – happens through grind of marriage

Makes you less selfish

What does marriage require? (v.31)

Pursuit – guys are supposed to chase the girls – it’s your job, your mission in life

Never stop chasing, initiating, leading

Find out what makes her tick – how can I please her, how can I make her life better?

Prov. 30:21-23 – the world goes crazy when someone is married and not being chased

Proverbs 30:21–23 ESV

21 Under three things the earth trembles; under four it cannot bear up: 22 a slave when he becomes king, and a fool when he is filled with food; 23 an unloved woman when she gets a husband, and a maidservant when she displaces her mistress.

Resource - Five Love Languages, the Secret to Love That Lasts, by Gary Chapman

Requires priority – loyally and unwaveringly; fresh start

Leave your mother & father (family) start fresh (leave & cleave)

Spouse higher priority than children

How to do?

Regular date night

Connect spiritually – pray together

Connect about things other than the kids – at least once/week just talk

Great marriage has Jesus at the Center

Humans are prone to stay until they’re not getting anything out of it anymore

Jesus helps us stay true to our commitments, even when it doesn’t make sense

Continual example and reminder that this thing is bigger than me

You get strength and power when you worship God at the center of your life

God has won the victory and wants to give it to you, but he needs to be #1 in your marriage and your life in order for that to happen

Appropriate place for altar call

Prayer of Salvation (Decided)

John 3:3 - No man can see the Kingdom of Heaven, but by Me.

John 3:5 - …You must be born again; Don’t look for autonomy when God has given us simplicity.

A - Admit (Admitting I’m a sinner. My goodness is not good enough, I need help. I was born with a condition called sin, all of us were; all have sin and fall short of the glory of God. That’s God’s Word! And I can’t fix it with money, self medicating, good deeds, it’s only through the cross.) Something is broken on the inside. I don’t need a chance I need a second birth. I’m a mistaker in need of correction, I’m a sinner in need of a Savior.

B - Believe (Believing that God sent His Son to be my substitute. He didn’t just die for me He died instead of me. We can’t get there on our own we have to believe. He became my sin barrier.

C - Confess (Confess Him as Lord. You’re in charge of my life. Not just for 75mins of a church service but for my entire life.)

Sinners Prayer:

Dear Lord Jesus I believe You’re the Son of God, I believe that on the cross you took my sins, my shame, and my guilt and You died for it. You faced hell for me so I wouldn’t have to go. You rose from the dead for me to give me a place in Heaven, a purpose on earth, and a relationship with Your Father. Today Lord Jesus I turn from my sins to be born again.

(Shout it)

GOD IS MY FATHER

JESUS IS MY SAVIOR

THE HOLY SPIRIT IS MY HELPER

AND HEAVEN IS MY HOME!

In Jesus Name Amen!

Welcome Home! Welcome to the family of God! If you prayed this pray text “decided” to 770-525-4161.