How and Why Do I Forgive?

Scripture Passage

Matthew 6:9–15 (NLT)

9 Pray like this: Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy. 10 May your Kingdom come soon. May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. 11 Give us today the food we need, 12 and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. 13 And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one. 14 “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. 15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Focus Statement

Forgiveness frees us from resentment and turmoil.

God, who knows us inside out, sees where our mistakes and failings come from.

God loves us through it all, offers forgiveness as a gift, and shows us how to extend it to others.

Point of Relation

It was October 2, 2016, when Terri Robterts’ life was shattered into a billion pieces.

On that clear, unseasonably warm Monday morning, her son Charles Carl Roberts IV

walked into an Amish Schoolhouse.

There, the 32 year-old husband and father of three young children, ordered all of the boys and adults to leave...

and tied up 10 little girls between the ages of 6 and 13.

It is then that he shot them. Five were killed and the others injured…Charles then killed himself as well.

Terri and her husband were, as anyone would be, horrified, and they thought they were going to have to move because of how communities blame the families of killers.

But, surprisingly, an Amish man named Henry arrived at their doorstep within hours of the murders.

He told them that the Amish community did not see them as enemies, but as parents who were grieving the loss of their child too.

On the day of Terri’s son’s funeral, 30 Amish men and women came and formed a wall around the family, blocking out the media from seeing them.

After the burial, the parents of the daughters killed by the Roberts’ son offered their condolences to them for their loss.

And that Amish community went well beyond that too.

When Terri had to have surgery, one of the girls who survived the massacre helped clean her home prior to her return.

As a result, Terri has been friends of that Amish community ever since...

These Amish folks did not just walk through a process of forgiveness....

but rather they chose to FORGIVE…and then allow God to help them work through all of the varying emotions that go along with that.

Make no mistake...

Forgiveness…whether we give it or need it…is hard.

Things to Consider

At one time or another, we have all found ourselves in need of forgiveness

or hurt by someone and in the position to offer forgiveness.

It can be an incredibly difficult thing to do.

Sometimes, it may be easier to stay angry, cut off the relationship,

or ignore the wrongdoing (our own or others’)

and hope it goes away.

Why should we bother with forgiveness?

And how do we do it?

What Scripture Says

In this passage, Jesus is teaching his followers how to pray what we now call, “The Lord’s Prayer.”

This is part of a bigger teaching found in Matt 6:1-18, on how to live out faith (or piety).

In both the Lord’s Prayer (v. 12) and the verses immediately following (v. 14-15),

Jesus talks about being forgiven and forgiving others together – never one without the other.

Forgiveness is meant to bring healing and reconciliation to a relationship.

That is a gift God gives to us by forgiving us.

And it is also a gift we give ourselves “as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

While forgiving someone can lead to reconciliation in our relationships,

sometimes it does not or will not. happen

For instance, you might forgive someone or seek forgiveness but that person still refuses to talk to you...

Or perhaps the person you’ve forgiven or are seeking forgiveness from is no longer living.

Forgiveness is really about freeing ourselves from the resentment, hatred, anger, that hurts and harms our own souls.

Medgar Evers, a civil rights activist who was assassinated in 1963 by a white supremacist said,

“When you hate, the only person that suffers is you because most of the people you hate don’t know it and the rest don’t care.”

As we forgive, we play a part in our own healing.

If we do not forgive others (v. 14),

holding that hatred, resentment, and anger,

can make it difficult to fully receive the forgiveness that God wants to offer to us.

Forgiveness can be incredibly difficult.

The surrounding conversation in Matthew 6 can help us better understand Jesus’ teaching on forgiveness.

Matthew 6 is often read on Ash Wednesday and we read it at our Ash Wednesday service each year.

In these verses, Jesus teaches that living a life of faith is not about putting our religion on display

giving alms,

praying praying in public,

Letting people see us disheveled because we are fasting

All of this to impress others.

God sees what we do privately/quietly and knows what is in our hearts and our motivations.

God knows every detail of our lives

(the challenges and struggles we face,

what we have overcome, our backstory),

not just the face we put on for the world.

In knowing all of this about us,

God has compassion for us and chooses to forgive us.

What if we, like God, had a window into what was happening in the minds and hearts of others –

especially those who have hurt us?

If we could know and understand where hurtful words and actions came from,

might we find compassion that leads to a healing forgiveness?

This is not to say that knowing someone’s backstory excuses harm or wrong,

but it may help us find our way to forgiveness.

The Lord’s Prayer is not meant to be prayed once and then left behind.

It is how Jesus teaches his followers to pray.

In it, the one praying asks for “daily bread” for today.

Tomorrow, we will ask for daily bread for tomorrow.

Just like daily bread, receiving forgiveness from God and forgiving others is something we need over and over again.

It is a process, not a magic moment.

It requires practice. (

There are even meditations that help with this.

One of them is called the Metta Meditation...

Where one meditates on happiness, peace and wellbeing for oneself...

And then also for someone else one knows.

What This Means for You

I want to invite peyouple to reflect on an area where you need forgiveness or something you need to forgive someone else for.

You many not feel ready to fully forgive today

but there are weays you can take small steps toward forgiveness...

By apologizing or asking for forgiveness if you need it...

Or allow someone the chance to apologize to you.

You can meditate on how NOT forgiving

is affecting your own emotions and wellbeing,

You can commit to praying for a person who has wronged you...

and/ore reaching out to them for a conversation.

What This Means For Us

None of us are perfect.

We all require forgiveness,

and we will all find ourselves in a position to forgive at one time or another.

Our community and the world might be different if we were all able to both receive and extend the kind of forgiveness that Jesus extends to us.

There would be a lot less human separation and isolation for one.

People could grow together rather than apart

They could help each other beceome more Christilike through the receiving and giving of forgiveness.

What would it be like if we all knew each other’s backstory

and were able to treat each other with compassion?

What if we knew our lumps and scars as well as the beautiful masks we wear to hide them...

What if this were a safe space for all of that...

A place free of judgment, full of constructive encouragement and FORGVIENESS.

How much more would we be able to witness to the LOVE of Christ in our community?

The truth is, forgiveness is not easy… but JESUS has NEVER called us to EASY…he’s called us to what is RIGHT.

Let us be a people who continue to walk in faith and grow in righteousness. Amen? Amen.