Wise Family Life
Notes
Transcript
Call to Worship (note on ‘disconsolate’)
Call to Worship (note on ‘disconsolate’)
If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
Prayer
Prayer
Adoration: God of wisdom in creation; God of Love, shown in Christ, who gave himself/cherishes us;
Confession: failed to display your gospel in our marriages/entrust ourselves to your love
Thanksgiving: your Son gave himself up / has washed us w/ gospel, made us holy by grace
Supplication: form our hearts to place all our hope in Your redeeming love/all our delight in Your glorious perfections; strengthen our marriages, etc.; CTC Uganda; Japan: gospel + church; senators: Jeff Merkley/Ron Wyden;
Family Matters: Easter (4 events), Joyce DeGeer memorial (Apr 16 @ 2 pm?); Shela Bonchek (15 Apr @ 2 pm); Bob Try (15 Apr @ 1 pm)
Benediction//Family Matters:
Benediction//Family Matters:
Let your work be shown to your servants, and your glorious power to their children. Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands!
Sermon
Sermon
Intro
Intro
Q: What place does family have in the New Covenant? // What place should it have in our congregation? // Does Bible even speak to… ?
Almost every teacher— ‘Family Important’
Why? => broken families = suffering // healthy families = human flourishing
We get: it’s wise to work for healthy families => it’s good for people…
Trouble: b/c we often don’t go beyond that, end up w/: ‘the Bible will show you how to have a healthy family, so that YOU can be more satisfied with YOUR own life’ => subtle slip toward idolatry
How to avoid this? Need theology which tells us how ‘family’ connects to central things of God: gospel, church, mission: evangelism/disciple making, God’s glory
Trouble: modern viewpoint is that the family—specifically, children—doesn’t have a defined or specific place in the life of the congregation…
Of course: we love families // welcome families // love to see them flourish…
But how and why are we actually supposed to pursue these things?
Our motives + methods => need to be submitted to the school of Scripture on this…
Paul will be our headmaster for this… his first move? To stop talking to parents//talk only to the kids for three verses!!!
Wait… You Kids are Addressed? Obey in the Lord?
Wait… You Kids are Addressed? Obey in the Lord?
***get kids attention***
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
“Obey your parents”… simple right?
Why did Paul also say, “in the Lord”?
What’s the difference between ‘obey your parents’ and ‘obey your parents in the Lord?’
Story: A long time ago, God had a son named ‘Israel’
Israel wasn’t God’s actual son. But the people of Israel were like a Son to God, because he loved them so much. So he called them, “My Firstborn Son”.
But Egypt was so mean and cruel to God’s Son Israel, that Israel lost all hope
But then, in love, God rescued his Son from Egypt and brought him to a place where he could live with God—the land of Israel.
But… problem: God loved Israel, but Israel’s heart was rotten, full of sin. He didn’t obey God. So God had to remove his Son from the land. He sent his people away to live in Babylon. It was a very sad day.
But another Story:
God had a rescue plan for his Son, Israel. For his people.
God the Father sent God the Son to become one of us! He was born as a human baby, just like Amelia!
Now, he was God’s earthly Son! Was his heart rotten like God’s son, Israel? No!
He obeyed his heavenly Father perfectly, in every way! In fact, he even obeyed his human parents, Mary and Joseph! When they told him it was time to go back to Nazareth, he did exactly what they asked:
And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart.
Why did Jesus do that? Why did God the Son come down from heaven to obey little Joseph and Mary?
Jesus obeyed so that he could save God’s people—save you! That’s the story.
So Paul tells you, “Obey your parents in the Lord.”
In the Lord means, “In Jesus”
You need to obey your mom and dad… but, you’re going to mess it up bad
There is rottenness in your heart, just like in Israel’s heart, and all our hearts (without Jesus)
Before you can really obey, you need Jesus to rescue you!
He was the only truly obedient kid to ever live! And when he died on the cross, he carried away all the punishment for the rotten hearts of his people. All the punishment for disobeying, so their would be no punishment for them.
If you trust in him, all your disobedience will be forgiven, and you’ll have a new heart so that you can really please God by learning how to obey your parents, etc.
Why to do it?
When Jesus rescues you from sin, he also gives you a wonderful treasure.
The treasure that God gave his son Israel was a beautiful land, where they could be with God
The treasure we get is even better—we can live in anywhere and be with God, because he puts his Spirit into the hearts of all the people that Jesus rescues
Now, if you honor your father and mother, and obey them, they will be able to help you learn how to enjoy the treasure of God’s Spirit in your heart. They’ll teach you how to walk with God.
But there’s another reason:
You have a mission from God!
Imagine if you had a mission to fight dragons // what would you do first? // spend so much time learning how to fight! Warriors that already know how to fight dragons would train you, so that you could fight dragons and win!
Your mission is not to fight dragons, but to live for God, and to take the good news of Jesus’ forgiveness to those who don’t know it yet. When people come to know Jesus, this brings great glory to God
Who did God give you to teach you how to complete this mission? Your parents! If you honor your parents, they will be able to teach you a lot of things about how to complete your mission to bring glory to God
So: First, trust in Jesus to rescue you from sin, and then, learn to obey your parents, who will teach you wisdom about how to walk with God and do God’s mission
***Now for everyone***
Does it surprise you that Paul addresses children, specifically, in his letter?
At the beginning I said that we have a problem: the modern Christian viewpoint on family—specifically, on children—doesn’t have a defined place in the life of the congregation…
Now notice: the fact that Paul addresses kids in these three verses means that he expected them to be learning from his letter the whole time. And how was his letter written? To be read to the whole congregation when they are gathered together. Conclusion: Paul expected children to be present in the congregation’s regular meeting.
Someone might say… just cultural… you know, Sunday School hadn’t been invented yet… so there really wasn’t a choice…
A fair point! We don’t want to miss-read Scripture so as to mistake random ancient cultural practices for patterns we’re required to follow
So, did Paul expect children to be present just b/c that’s how it was back then? Or because of something deeper than culture, which is still true today?
First: Paul’s command actually doesn’t line up well w/ Greek culture…
Greek authors would tell Fathers how to bring up kids, but simply didn’t write to the kids about it.
Also, Paul doesn’t say ‘sons’ here—might be a little more normal for sons to be part of a weekly gathering back then… but daughters were kept sequestered away from public. Here Paul is addressing little girls who have trusted in Jesus! For little girls to be present in a mixed gathering was abnormal in a Greek city!
So Paul’s expectations are probably not so much a matter of ancient culture…
Second: What is a local church? What is a congregation? What is a gathering?
Commonly we say, “it’s not the building, its the people”
True—but it’s more. A local congregation is a group of believers committed to meet together (Word, Ordinances), and to care + watch over one another
And also—it’s a place where everyone is equally a member, regardless of ethnic background, gender, or age.
Why? The shape of the local church is based off of the shape of the universal church—of which every true believer is a member—regardless of age! And the flip side of that coin is: every true believer is to belong to a local congregation, if at all possible—and thus to gather in person with a local congregation, if possible… regardless of age!
Let me be explicit: the command to ‘not neglect meeting together’ (Heb. 10:25) is not just for believers 18+… it’s for all believers… kids included.
Notice the shape of the command to kids again: “Obey your parents in the Lord”—the command is for believing children!
I’ve heard people say, “There’s no such thing as a HS jr.”—child who comes to faith was brought by the same HS and is indwelt by the same HS… full member of universal church…
So then: the gathering of the church—the congregating of the congregation—is for believing kids also
Some comments to help—
First, I know this is:
weird. This is not how we are used to thinking about kids…
Not just weird, but hard!
But if it’s biblical, the question is not, “should we do this?” but, “how do we approach this wisely?”
Second, need to recognize, some mystery to when a child believes—professes true faith
=> At a young age, a child may talk about trusting in Jesus… really just trusting parent’s viewpoint… but quietly becomes true faith at some point… often a point in time known only to God
=> So for kids, there’s this in-between state, where maybe they are not mature enough yet to make a credible public profession of faith. Yet true faith may have already begun in their hearts. Thus, Paul expect them to be in the gathering, and he addresses them with the command to obey their parents in Christ—because they are already truly in Christ…
=> OR, maybe they are not believers… but Paul’s command can push them to honor their parents by listening as their parents teach them about the things of God—so that they can come to see: “I need Christ”
=> Probably also, this tells me that I would serve the congregation better by including more applications for kids in the sermon—imitating Paul’s own ministry…
=> But… not just the teaching… Just love my daughters being exposed to the constant witness of your faith…
Third, don’t hear me saying that Sunday School is not valuable!
=> Those of you who have invested countless hours + love into teaching Sunday School… efforts not wasted!
Special privilege of Grandma teach SS…
=> To live wisely in this age, need to be able to distinguish between:
Practices which are necessary: weekly gathering of God’s people; a practice of family discipleship; private word + prayer
Practices which can be wise, depending on factors such as culture/circumstances, etc.—Wednesday night fellowship meals, Sunday School, various other types of discipleship/outreach practices, etc.
Probably, we need more weekly discipleship/fellowship practices than just the Sunday morning gathering—but the Sunday morning gathering should be the starting place, backbone, anchor of the rest of our life together
For kids: What are discipleship essentials? According to Scripture: 1. The weekly gathering, and 2. a family practice of discipleship. These must be the backbone. Other practices, such as SS, can also be very helpful, but must not replace the God-given categories…
=> From another angle… what is the value of SS (for kids + adults)? Learning!
Christian life not merely about knowledge… also, worship!
Where will a child learn about worship? Not as much in SS… much more in the gathering… powerful!
practical concerns
Can’t address all the ‘what ifs’—but to make this work:
A congregation that welcomes kids (not judging mom when she walks out w/ a screaming toddler, etc.)
Need to understand that this is hard for modern parents…
Creative ways to support parents adjusting to this…
Make sure that parents are getting support and encouragement in this difficult task…
Making sure there is an atmosphere of patience, support, etc.
Understanding that some families/single parents won’t be ready to do that for a season after they join us...
I’m totally open to having long discussions about this…
The principle here: long game vs. short game:
This principle probably sounds inconvenient, even scary—what about families who won’t come b/c they just don’t want to do that?
There are wise ways to avoid scaring off families: providing child care for a time period of adjustment; helping them to see that they won’t be judged when their toddler makes noise during the service; patiently showing this principle in scripture while sympathizing with concerns, not pushing things to happen too fast, etc… maybe handing out a sucker before the service that each child gets to enjoy during the sermon, etc.
The goal: to equip our children to know God deeply, and to pursue God’s mission—well-equipped, and with passion
What? Why are You Quoting That Paul???
What? Why are You Quoting That Paul???
That’s actually the whole purpose of this passage that we’re looking at—how can kids be best prepared to walk with God and take his gospel to the nations?
Too often, we make this about us: “do you want to have a fulfilling family life?” => true that biblical principles often make family life much better/more fulfilling than it would otherwise be… but not always…
Again: that kind of thinking risks making family into an idol… transactional…
Actual purpose of this? That kids would flourish in the Christian life, for God’s glory!
Look at vs. 2-3:
“Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
That’s one of the ten commandments...
Why does Paul quote it here? And especially, why does he include the promise with it?!?!
What did the word, ‘land’ mean, in the original promise?
=> land of Israel!
=> why would Paul bring up that promise to predominantly Greek church… ?
to ‘live long in the land’ for Israel:
=> the result of living in God’s law + wisdom
=> to enjoy God’s blessings and succeed at God’s mission for Israel
=> in some sense, to be a light to the nations around them/turn back the curse
Bottom line: it was about enjoying God + succeeding at his mission
The shape of those things looks different for us:
=> no longer tied to a land
=> moral/ceremonial component of law doesn’t apply anymore…
=> shape of our faith = built on better promises = grace + forgiveness of a savior, sufficient for life in this world
But in another sense, we’re doing the same thing:
=> learning to walk with God
=> taking the gospel of Christ to the world...
So then: the purpose of kids obeying parents is that the kids would flourish to God’s glory
=> learning how to walk w/ God//worship//grow into Christlikeness
=> equipped to take the gospel to the lost
=> kids, the real reason for you to obey parents is so that you can better know and glorify God!
Fathers (and Mothers)—Your Critical Ministry
Fathers (and Mothers)—Your Critical Ministry
***Parents all say, Amen! Oh yeah. You’d better obey. The Bible says so!***
Kids, God has a command for your parents, too:
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Why Fathers specifically? The principle in this verse is for both fathers and mothers, but...
Fathers are the head of the home… Dads: buck stops w/ you for the spiritual leadership of your home…
Maybe… fathers more likely to exasperate their kids…
What does Paul mean, ‘don’t provoke your kids to anger’?
Treating children harshly
Not spending time…
Withholding forgiveness/love
Giving them the impression that you mostly disapprove//not on their side
Failing to apologize/ask them for forgiveness when you realize you’ve sinned against them
Generally: parenting in a way which puts your own needs before those of your kids//any other kind of lovelessness
If you’re a parent + that didn’t sting => probably need to take another look…
Typically, parents in the trenches fall short on a daily basis
Take your sin to God + confess => his mercy is new every morning = always!
Then: praise God for his patience with you… ask for help to take that same patience to your kids… show your kids the gospel in how you love them patiently…
Instead: raise up in ‘discipline + instruction of the Lord’
What does that mean? => actual instruction: God’s nature, law, wisdom… most centrally: Christ and his gospel
Kids: we so strongly want you to
having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might
And there are two main places where you are supposed to learn + see those things, by God’s design: in your family, and in the congregation
Of course, there are many legitimate questions//what if scenarios...
Ex. what about kids who only have one believing parent? Or none?
Remember what we heard last week about spiritual motherhood?
For such a child, may the congregation be a house of many mothers and fathers
Final disclaimer
