Self-Control

Why Is Self-Control So Difficult?

Websters dictionary defines self-control as restraint exercised over one's own impulses, emotions, or desires. The Bible gives a similar definition as the ability to live according to the Spirit. Galatians 5:16-17

Galatians 5:16–17 (NASB95)

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.

To choose the Spirit shows that self-control is influenced in the soul. It is so difficult for all people because of our sin nature. We must never lose sight of this. Paul writes of this in Romans 7:14-25

Romans 7:14–25 NASB95

For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin. For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good. So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.

There are several aspects of the sinful nature that this passage of scripture mentions.

We are sold into bondage of sin. We have a natural tendency to engage in sin. This is called our flesh. All of us have it.

I am not practicing what I would like to do, but am doing the very thing I hate. Paul knows the right thing to do and even has the desire to do it. Unfortunately instead of doing the right thing he engages in sin, the very thing he hates.

For nothing good dwells in me that is in my flesh. All of us have the flesh. We all have the propensity to sin. We should never be so confident in ourselves that we, in a judgmental way say, “I would never do that.”

Evil is present in me. This is something that will always be in us until we are glorified. This is why sin remains a struggle until the day we die.

Who will deliver me from this body of death? Only Christ can save us from our sin nature. He does this by sending His Holy Spirit to dwell within us. We must choose to follow the direction and lead of the Holy Spirit. This is self-control.

Believers must not only listen to the Holy Spirit, but must also obey Him.

Self- Control is Found in Our Free Will

Free will is the ability God has given us to choose right over wrong. Our flesh will always choose wrong because it is rooted in sin. Jesus puts it this way Matthew 15:18-19

Matthew 15:18–19 (NASB95)

“But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man. “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders.

What we allow to come out of our mouths are a true indication of what is in our hearts. It reveals the flesh within. When we lie or curse or slander, or gossip, or falsely accuse people we show what is in our hearts and flesh. All the evil that we have the propensity to engage in resides within all of us.

So why do we not always engage in sin? Because of the Holy Spirit. Romans 8:9-14

Romans 8:9–14 NASB95

However, you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. But if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Him. If Christ is in you, though the body is dead because of sin, yet the spirit is alive because of righteousness. But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you. So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh— for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.

The Holy Spirit rescues us from our flesh and gives spiritual life to our bodies.

This life in the Holy Spirit enables us to put to death the deeds of the body. We must choose to do so. It is like a sermon. I can teach you the words of Scripture, but it is up to you what to do with it. Also, like the advice your parents may give you. You can choose to accept or ignore the advice.

When we choose to follow the Spirit we demonstrate that we are children of God.

We have the ability to choose what we do. We must understand that every decision we make has a consequence whether good or bad.

Just an observation that I have made in my own life and in others. We will generally do what we want to do. For example, I am a diabetic with a sweet tooth. I know sugar is bad for me, but I am going to have something sweet. I have found a way to satisfy my sweet tooth in a healthy way. Natural sugar rather than processed sugar. I am able to remain healthy and enjoy something sweet. This just shows I am going to do what I want when it comes to having something sweet. Though it is acceptable to have natural sugars, too much would not be healthy. One may say just stop eating sugar and you will not have issues with your diabetes. Does eating sugar make me a bad person? No!

Why do some people come to church and others go to extra curricular activities on Sunday? Because they are doing what they want to do. They may find ways to accommodate their spiritual growth. They may watch sermons online or engage in another bible study at another time during the week. Though this may be acceptable, too much will prove unhealthy. Does a person that does extra curricular activity on Sunday rather than go to church make them a bad person? No!

Fact of the matter is people are going to do what they want to do most of the time. It is only by self-control that is prompted by the Holy-Spirit that we are able to not give into those things that prove unhealthy in our lives.

So how do we do this?

Choose the Holy Spirit

Galatians 5:16–25 NASB95

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law. Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.

It is a very simple concept. Don’t do the things of the flesh and do the things of the spirit. This is self-control. It is a life-long process of daily putting to death the deeds of the flesh. I know that daily I struggle with at least if not more of the deeds of the flesh and if you are honest with yourself, so do you. So if this is the case rather than judging one another for these things, understand that we too struggle. Let’s help one another overcome our struggles rather than criticize each other for our struggles.

Here are some ways we can do this:

Galatians 6:1–2 (NASB95)

Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.

Galatians 6:9–10 (NASB95)

Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.

Romans 12:1–2 (NASB95)

Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

Philippians 4:8–9 (NASB95)

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

The only way you can truly exercise self-control is to be born again. Do you have the Holy-Spirit residing in you? Are you a child of God? If the answer is no, I have good news for you this morning! SHARE THE GOSPEL!