Introduction:
The sin of bitterness hinders your spiritual growth and harms your relationships with others. It causes much trouble and must be put away quickly from your life and be replaced by compassionate kindness and forgiveness (Ephesians 4:31; Hebrews 12:14-15; James 3:8-18 esp. v.11,14).
1. Bitterness in the Old Testament, a symbol of hard bondage, misery, and the ruin that follows immorality (Ex. 1:14).
2. The Passover was to be eaten with “bitter herbs” (Num. 9:11), representing the affliction of Egyptian bondage.
3. The waters of Marah were “bitter,” probably meaning salty, briny, brackish (Ex. 15:23).
4. Because of the bitter circumstances in which she found herself, Naomi (“pleasant”) wanted to be called Mara (“bitter”) (Ruth 1:20).
5. In the New Testament, the “gall of bitterness” (Acts 8:23, KJV) describes a spiritual poisoning—a heart of great wickedness—in Simon the sorcerer. A “root of bitterness” (Heb. 12:15) is a wicked person or a sin that leads to denial of the faith.
The root words for “bitter” or “bitterness” in the original languages of the Old and New Testaments are the basis for words meaning:
ü “sharp” pointed” (as arrows are sharp, or as a sharp smell or taste), “brackish” (the opposite of “sweet” or “fresh”).
ü “inedible” (Exodus 15:23-25; Prov.27:7; Isaiah 5:20; James 3:11; Revelation 8:11).
ü “Rebellious” (Deuteronomy 21:18, 20; Is.30:9; Jeremiah 5:23; Ezekiel 2:5-8; 44:6)
ü “Discontented” (1 Samuel 22:2)
ü “Disobedient” (1 Kings 13:20-26; Nehemiah 9:26)
1. The Sin And Dangers Of Bitterness.
a) Bitterness will affect others (Hebrews 12:15-17).
(1) Like a small root that grows into a great tree, bitterness springs up in our heart and overshadows even our deepest Christian relationships. A “bitter root” comes when we allow disappointment to grow into resentment, or when we nurse grudges over past hurts. Bitterness brings with it jealousy, dissension, and immorality. When the Holy Spirit fills us, however, he can heal the hurt that causes bitterness.
(2) The image of a bitter root spreading to infect many is from (Deuteronomy 29:14-21)
b) Bitterness will affect your tongue (James 3:1-18)
(1) It is the only creature uncontrolled (v.7a). Men have tamed many animals.
(2) It cannot be tamed by man (v.7b). The idea is that it cannot be completely and fully tamed. “While no man can tame the tongue, there is One who can. The Lord is no less able to control a lying, blaspheming, slanderous, gossiping tongue than He is to deliver the drunkard from alcohol, the gambler from the game table, the narcotics addict from drugs, or the lustful person from adultery”
(3) It is unruly, restless (v.8-9).
(4) Full of deadly poison (v.8).
(5) Blessing God and cursing man (v.9).
(a) Every believer should use his tongue to bless our Lord and Father, just as God desires and expects of those who belong to Him. The Jews to whom James wrote were accustomed to pronouncing blessings on God at the end of each of the eighteen eulogies, or benedictions, they prayed three times a day, saying, “Blessed be Thou, O God.”
(b) After collecting the generous gifts and offerings from the people for building the temple, “David blessed the Lord in the sight of all the assembly; and David said, ‘Blessed are You, O Lord God of Israel our father, forever and ever’ ” (1 Chron. 29:10). At the end of the prayer he “said to all the assembly, ‘Now bless the Lord your God.’ And all the assembly blessed the Lord, the God of their fathers, and bowed low and did homage to the Lord and to the king” (v. 20).
(c) But with the same tongue with which we bless God, James continues, we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God. That is its perfidy, its treachery. Even unredeemed mankind retains the likeness of God, which, though utterly marred by the Fall, nevertheless is indestructible.
(d) Peter confessed that Jesus was “the Christ, the Son of the living God” (Matt. 16:16); but while his Lord was on trial before the high priest, “he began to curse and swear, ‘I do not know the man!’ And immediately a rooster crowed. And Peter remembered the word which Jesus had said, ‘Before a rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.’ And he went out and wept bitterly” (Matt. 26:74–75).
(e) On one occasion, even the apostle Paul’s tongue slipped and he called the high priest a “whitewashed wall” (Acts 23:3). Even though he did not realize he was speaking to the high priest (v. 5), he uttered words that are not fitting in the mouth of a servant of God.
(6) It should be controlled (v.10-12).
My brethren, James implores, these things ought not to be this way. (ought not) is a strong negative, used only here in the New Testament. The idea is that there should be no place in a Christian’s life for two-faced speech. It is an unacceptable and intolerable compromise of righteous, holy living. When God transformed us, He gave us the capacity for new, redeemed, holy speech, and He expects us, as His children, to speak only that which is holy and right. Our “yes” and “no” should be honest (Matt. 5:37).
(a) Because its behavior is inconsistent (v.11). The same spring, or fountain, does not issue two vastly different kinds of water.
(b) Because its behavior is contrary to our nature (v.12). James asks, Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Again, the obvious and expected answer is no. Such a thing is utterly contrary to nature and cannot happen. He then states emphatically, Nor can salt water produce fresh. This also is clearly impossible, and no rational person would think twice about believing anything to the contrary.
(i) A hateful heart cannot produce loving words or works. An unrighteous heart cannot produce righteous words or works. “A good tree cannot produce bad fruit,” Jesus explained, “nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. … So then, you will know them by their fruits” (Matt. 7:18, 20).
(ii) At one point James says, “This is how it will be if you are a true believer,” and at another point he says, “That is also how it ought to be if you are a true believer.” Because we have been made righteous by Jesus Christ, we ought to live righteously and speak righteously, according to His will and by His power.
(7) Bitterness undermines our relationship with God (1 John 3:11-24)
(a) John echoes Jesus’ words that whoever hates another person is a murderer at heart (Matthew 5:21-22).
(b) Christianity is a religion of the heart; outward compliance alone is not enough. Bitterness against someone who has wronged you is an evil cancer within you and will eventually destroy you. Don’t let a “bitter root” (Hebrews 12:15) grow in you or your church. Bitterness is compounded by having a lack of repentance and is connected with holding an angry grudge against someone who has wronged you.
2. Avoiding Bitterness and Keeping It From Taking Root (Genesis 27:30-41).
a) Bitterness doesn’t leave by itself (Genesis 33:1-20 espv.4).
(1) It is refreshing to see Esau’s change of heart when the two brothers meet again. The bitterness over losing his birthright and blessing (25:29-34) seems gone. Instead, Esau was content with what he had. Jacob even exclaimed how great it was to see his brother obviously pleased with him (33:10).
(2) Life can bring us some bad situations. We can feel cheated, as Esau did, but we don’t have to remain bitter. We can remove bitterness from our life by:
(a) honestly expressing our feelings to God,
(b) forgiving those who have wronged us,
(c) being content with what we have.
3. The Cause of Bitterness.Importance of Resisting Bitterness.
a) Self-Righteous—Anger—Pride (Luke 15:11-32)
(1) The elder brother is a clear illustration of the scribes and Pharisees. His brother was guilty of the sins of the flesh, but he was guilty of the sins of the Spirit (2Cor. 7:1). His outward actions may have been blameless, but his inward attitude was abominable (Matt. 23:25–28).
(2) He was self-righteous and claimed three things (v.29)
(a) He claimed to be religious: “For many years I have been serving you”
(b) He claimed to be moral and just: “I have never transgressed your commandment”
(c) He felt he deserved more, not recognized enough: “You never gave me”
(d) He openly announced the sins of his brother, but he could not his own. The Pharisees defined the term sins as only outward actions not inward attitudes (Luke 18:9-14).
(3) He was angry at both his father and his brother and would not go into the house and share in the joyful celebration (v.28).
(4) Why was the older brother angry with his father? Because his father had given the younger son the feast that the elder brother had always wanted (v.29).
(5) Why was the older brother angry at his younger brother? For getting all that attention and receiving the father’s special gifts. As far as the elder brother was concerned, the younger brother deserved none of it.
(6) He missed the joy of forgiving his brother and restoring the broken fellowship, the joy of pleasing his father and uniting the family again.
(7) If we are out of fellowship with God, we cannot be in fellowship with our brothers and sisters and if we harbor an unforgiving attitude toward others, we cannot be in communion with God (Matt. 5:21–26; 1 John 4:18–21).
4. Overcoming Bitterness.
a) Bitterness Is Removed By Forgiveness.
(1) Joseph is a model of genuine forgiveness (Genesis 45:1-28 esp.v.5).
(a) Joseph was rejected, kidnapped, enslaved, and imprisoned. Although his brothers had been unfaithful to him, he graciously forgave them and shared his prosperity. Joseph demonstrated how God forgives us and showers us with goodness even though we have sinned against him. The same forgiveness and blessings are ours if we ask for them.
(2) Forgiveness is a mark of the Christian life. Romans 12:17-21 summarize the real core of Christian living. If we love someone the way Christ loves us, we will be willing to forgive. If we have experienced God’s grace, we will want to pass it on to others. And remember, grace is undeserved favor. By giving an enemy a drink, we’re not excusing his misdeeds. We’re recognizing him, forgiving him, and loving him in spite of his sins—just as Christ did for us.
(3) Forgiveness is contrary to the pattern of the world. In this day of constant lawsuits and incessant demands for legal rights, Paul’s command sounds almost impossible. When someone hurts you deeply, instead of giving him what he deserves, Paul says to befriend him. Why does Paul tell us to forgive our enemies? (1) Forgiveness may break a cycle of retaliation and lead to mutual reconciliation. (2) It may make the enemy feel ashamed and change his or her ways. (3) By contrast, returning evil for evil hurts you just as much as it hurts your enemy. Even if your enemy never repents, forgiving him or her will free you of a heavy load of bitterness.
(4) Forgiveness is an act of the will. Forgiveness involves both attitudes and actions. If you find it difficult to feel forgiving of someone who has hurt you, try responding with kind actions. If appropriate, tell this person that you would like to heal your relationship. Give him a helping hand. Send him a gift. Smile at him. Many times you will discover that right actions lead to right feelings.
(5) If we expect to be forgiven, we need to practice forgiveness (Matt.6:5-15). Jesus gives a startling warning about forgiveness: if we refuse to forgive others, God will also refuse to forgive us. Why? Because when we don’t forgive others, we are denying our common ground as sinners in need of God’s forgiveness. God’s forgiveness of sin is not the direct result of our forgiving others, but it is based on our realizing what forgiveness means (see Ephesians 4:32). It is easy to ask God for forgiveness, but difficult to grant it to others. Whenever we ask God to forgive us for sin, we should ask ourself, “Have I forgiven the people who have wronged me?”
(6) Real forgiveness does not keep track of offenses (matt.18:21-35). The rabbis taught that people should forgive those who offend them—but only three times. Peter, trying to be especially generous, asked Jesus if seven (the “perfect” number) was enough times to forgive someone. But Jesus answered, “Seventy-seven times,” meaning that we shouldn’t even keep track of how many times we forgive someone. We should always forgive those who are truly repentant, no matter how many times they ask.
(7) Real forgiveness follows God’s pattern. Because God has forgiven all our sins, we should not withhold forgiveness from others. When we don’t forgive others, we are setting ourselves outside and above Christ’s law of love.
(8) Don’t let anything keep your from forgiving others. In the story of the lost son, the father’s response is contrasted with the older brother’s. The father forgave because he was filled with love. The older son refused to forgive because he was bitter about the injustice of it all. His resentment rendered him just as lost to the father’s love as his younger brother had been. Don’t let anything keep you from forgiving others. If you are refusing to forgive people, you are missing a wonderful opportunity to experience joy and share it with others. Make your joy grow: forgive somebody who has hurt you.
5. Bitterness is not to characterize your life in Christ it is to be put off.
a) Overcoming the sin of bitterness.
(1) Confess your bitterness as sin to God (1 John 1:9).
(2) Remember you are to be kind & forgiving to one another (Eph.4:31-32)
(3) Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything giving thanks (1Thess.5:16-18).
(4) Remember God is graciously working in your life (Psalm 121; Rom.8:28-29; Phil.1:6; 2:13)
(5) Remember God is merciful and righteous in all His ways (Psalm 145:8-9,17)