A Final Word on Marriage

1. A Guide for Fathers

1 Corinthians 7:36–38 NASB95

36 But if any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter, if she is past her youth, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he does not sin; let her marry. 37 But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no constraint, but has authority over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well. 38 So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better.

1 Corinthians 7:36–38 ESV

36 If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin. 37 But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. 38 So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.

The variation of these two translation needs to be addressed at the outset because they present two different scenarios of consideration. The NASB seems to refer to a father overseeing the marriage of his virgin daughter while the ESV seems to speak of a man considering marriage to his betrothed wife. Why such a difference? Two words and their translations shape that

A statement of inerrancy

As you come to the text of Scripture, you have to understand that you are reading the translation of a team of biblical scholars. If you have an introduction in the front of your bibles, then you can read about the process of translation that those scholars go through as they assemble your translated version of the bible. You will read statements in that intro such as this:

English Standard Version Translation Legacy

To this end each word and phrase in the ESV has been carefully weighed against the original Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek, to ensure the fullest accuracy and clarity and to avoid under-translating or overlooking any nuance of the original text. The words and phrases themselves grow out of the Tyndale–King James legacy, and most recently out of the RSV, with the 1971 RSV text providing the starting point for our work

But with such “accuracy” as they claim, they cannot guarantee that the most difficult passages grab the intended meaning of the original text. They do their best as scholars to arrive at the intended meaning but they might be wrong in some cases. The reason is that words in the Greek and Hebrew have multiple uses and therefore this team labors to arrive at the best possible translation based on context, the grammar of that language, etc. I am not telling you this so that you doubt your Bibles but to clarify the evangelical position on inerrancy.

According to the Chicago Statement of Inerrancy:

We affirm that inspiration, strictly speaking, applies only to the autographic text of Scripture, which in the providence of God can be ascertained from available manuscripts with great accuracy. We further affirm that copies and translations of Scripture are the Word of God to the extent that they faithfully represent the original.

This statement is one of many regarding the aspect of the Bible’s existence without error. It means that it can be trusted as God’s words and we must consider they the aspect that the original languages hold the key to our understanding. In other words, studying those languages then help us hold accountable translators who translate and publish our bibles.

So then we come to this passage today with one of two possible translations, one involving Paul speaking to fathers and one where Paul is speaking to future grooms.

Let me explain my view:

1 Corinthians 7:36–38 NASB95

36 But if any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter, if she is past her youth, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he does not sin; let her marry. 37 But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no constraint, but has authority over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well. 38 So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better.

The word “man” and “daughter” is not found in the original Greek. V 36 literally reads, “if anyone thinks he is acting disgracefully towards his virgin. This word “daughter” is added by translators to help with the meaning that they have arrived at. This is also why it is italicized in your bible. But the meaning of the Greek term PARTHENTOS can be translated “betrothed” or “virgin”

Why would it be considered Father if it states, “His virgin”?

The answer comes in the next phrase, “If she is past her youth.” They word in the Gk here means one who has blossomed or past her peak, most literally. The history of this usage is primarily in body development and therefore Paul is referencing a girl who has reached an age of physical maturity in order to get married. It seems less likely that this type of reference would be to a man who is betrothed to a child, waiting on that child to reach physical maturity, which is one argument. Instead, it makes more sense for this refer to a father, waiting for their child to reach maturity physically before he allows a marriage to be carried out.

Secondly, the phrase at the end of v 36 is a verb in the plural form. In other words, it a verbal phrase that carries a plural subject of the verb. As a command, it means “let THEM marry.” This is Paul’s command for a father, who has chosen to allow such a marriage to ensue, to let the couple marry, if he deems appropriate during the given context of Paul’s “current distress. Again, it would not make sense to use the grammatical structure that is used, if Paul was speaking to a man who is considering his outcome with his future bride. Instead, he would have said something addressing the situation, “you can marry ” instead of “let them marry.”

Therefore, the context of Paul’s previous instruction supports such a final word. Considering the context, Paul is looking at the current climate in Corinth. Like we look at 3 weeks ago, there is most likely some great trouble for the Christian in Corinth. There is a famine and most likely persecution as well. Paul’s message to the church is to consider if marriage is worth the risk in that climate. He instructs them to cost the cost, and yet guiding them to see the value of marriage if agreed upon by the couple.

In that same area of life, Paul seems to be addressing those unmarried women and the Fathers who have authority over them. In a similar way, Paul is addressing those fathers, because marriage is on the minds of their daughters and the men who have come for the daughters hand in marriage. Paul’s words teach us a few important lessons that we can consider today, now that we understand his audience.

CELEBRATE THE AUTHORITY OF THE FATHER IN THE HOME

I appreciate the words of Paul here as a Father who holds firmly and humbly to the authority and responsibility that the Lord has given Fathers over their children. This leadership of the home has been the foundation of the family unit since the beginning of God’s creating man in his image. For example, the first family unit created displayed a responsibility of Adam over Eve and his children. When Eve sinned and tempted her husband to sin, God held Adam accountable for the rebellion. God initially called out to Adam when they rebelled as a reminder who had been given accountability over the home. Likewise, when creating Eve, God called her Adam’s helper. This is not a derogatory term but one describing compatibility and yet submission to her husband as leader.

That leadership bleeds over to the children as well. Children are called to recgonize the authority of parents over them and to look to that authority as a shadow of God supreme authority over all.

Ephesians 6:1–3 NASB95

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), 3 so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.

This command by Paul looks back to the OT commands from the Lord to children to not only obey their parents but see the blessing that God establishes through that obedience and care. That leadership over our kids should not stop shy of the finish line of adulthood when they consider marriage. instead, the marriage relationship of one’s kids is one of the apex of instruction between parent and child as we consider the permanency of marriage and its effects if a marriage fails.

But consider today how much children want that autonomy to decide for themselves who they marry. How much has society influenced our thinking in this way where independence now is more valued that community wisdom. Consider now how peers of the same age are the ones weighing in on and evaluating relationships instead of the older and wiser people in a young persons lives. This is totally backwards.

God teaches us here the great value of the wisdom of parents to play the vital role in the lives a young people, helping them determine when marriage is appropriate and when it is not.

2. CONSIDER THE DESIRES OF THE COUPLE

While the authority is in place, the father (and mother) should never discourage or ignore the desires from the couple. The daughter and future son in law have found love and there must be wisdom applied that leads to a proper marriage relationship. But parents, who are fallible can allow their emotional attachment to stand in the way of a marriage the Lord is establishing between one man and one woman.

Calvin comments on this passage,

Commentaries on the Epistles of Paul the Apostle to the Corinthians Chapter 7

the father acts an exceedingly bad part if he endeavours to keep her back from marriage, and would be no longer a father to her, but a cruel tyrant.

The Father must evaluate the man desires of man and woman, consider the environment for marriage, including the ability to care for his daughter and the maturity of the man and his own flesh and blood. With much prayer and wisdom, Paul states that if the father chooses to allow the young woman to get married, he is not guilty of sin. But likewise, if he chooses at that time that she should refrain from marriage, that also will honor the Lord.

You could imagine such a temporary hold put on marriage ceremonies during the year 2020. Chapels were closed, people were locked in their homes. The passions of a young couple to be married had to be restrained until things allowed for a wedding to commence. Paul’s wisdom to the Corinthians is similar stated here.

In all, this instruction is simply just one more way that Paul is teaching the church on how to biblically think about marriage in various applications. In the end, as we look back, the point ultimately is to consider the good design of marriage and to apply that in the different scenarios that Christians might find themselves. This leads us then to consider the last two verses of Paul’s instruction as he summarizes the permanency of marriage to those with living spouses while giving instruction to those who lose their spouse to death.

2. A Guide for Widows

1 Corinthians 7:39–40 NASB95

39 A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is; and I think that I also have the Spirit of God.

Remember that we already studied the word “bound” earlier in this study. Paul uses it again to speak of that permanency in marriage that most glorifies the Lord.

1 Corinthians 7:27 NASB95

27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife.

Romans 7:2 NASB95

2 For the married woman is bound by law to her husband while he is living; but if her husband dies, she is released from the law concerning the husband.

This teaches that marriage is designed between a biological man and biological woman that should last until death separates one from the other. Death is the most Christ-exalting way to end an earthly marriage covenant. If a spouse dies, then there is freedom for that spouse to seek out another partner in marriage. This was most important to a woman, which is why Paul addresses just the woman, because of the nature of well-being. A widow needed another husband most of the time to provide for her physical needs.

But physical needs should not be the main goal, for Paul adds, “in the Lord.” As long as that new partner is a believer in Jesus Christ, than remarriage will be celebrated in the church and in heaven. But if not, a believer is better off remaining single for their remaining years than be equally yoked with an unbeliever.

This is where the church would step in to serve the needs of true widows as Paul tells the young Timothy.

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