Between You and Me

12 The next day the large crowd that had come to the feast heard that Jesus was coming to Jerusalem. 13 So they took branches of palm trees and went out to meet him, crying out, “Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord, even the King of Israel!” 14 And Jesus found a young donkey and sat on it, just as it is written,

15 “Fear not, daughter of Zion;

behold, your king is coming,

sitting on a donkey’s colt!”

We refer to this as Jesus triumphal entry

Crowds cheering “Hosanna”

Essentially a cry to God for deliverance and salvation...

People laying down palms

Bowing down to their king

But we know it didn’t stay that way

In just a few days would come things that weren’t so triumphant

Rather than shouting “Hosanna!”

They shout, “Crucify Him!”

Rather than laying down palms

Soldiers laid whips across His back

Rather than bowing to their king

They mocked Him as a blasphemer

In Luke’s account, it closes this way

Luke 19:41–42 (ESV)

41 And when he drew near and saw the city, he wept over it, 42 saying, “Would that you, even you, had known on this day the things that make for peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes.

Honestly, Israel was unprepared - they missed the most important moment in history!

But, missing things isn’t something we’re immune to...

Introduction

Convo with Tasha’s grandma a some years back

One thing churches can do better at

They don’t prepare you for getting older

But she understood - there’s no one there who’s walked it before

No one tells you about the quiet/loneliness

No one tells you the ordeal to do basic things

No one tells you all of your friends die

And no one tells you how to cope with losing the love of your life

Winnie the Pooh (A.A. Milne): “If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you.”

That is a day that I dread - what if I outlive my wife?

Most men don’t, if you look at us, we assume I’m dying first...

But you never know

If I outlive Tash, the rest of my days are going to be rough

You guys think I’m a mess now, wait til I don’t have her holding me together!

I can’t imagine being a widower the rest of my life

And good luck to any woman who would try to replace my awesome wife...

YouVersion: Between You and Me

We’re in Genesis 23:1-20

This week, Abraham finds himself becoming a widower

Although he’s ten years older, he’s going to lose his wife first

I imagine that would be hard

Now, did they have a good marriage? I don’t know...

For one thing, they were both Godly people

That is a key ingredient to a good marriage

On the other hand, they had some big marriage drama too

Abraham fathered a son with another woman

Granted, it was her idea

But we guys know, it’s still going to be the man’s fault! Amen?

Abraham told his wife to lie twice, giving her away to other men

This is some real Jerry Springer, Desperate Housewife’s kind of stuff...

But all marriages have struggles and issues

After almost 16 years of marriage, Tash and I have seen a lot of wonderful things

And we’ve also had to endure some hardships

Today we get to see a little bit of Abraham’s love for Sarah after her death

Genesis 23:1–2 (ESV)

1 Sarah lived 127 years; these were the years of the life of Sarah. 2 And Sarah died at Kiriath-arba (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan, and Abraham went in to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her.

Sarah lived to 127 years old

Did you know she’s the only woman who’s age at death was included?

Aside from maybe Eve, no other woman would be as revered as her by the Hebrew culture

And now Abraham is mourning her death

In fact, it says he went in to mourn implying he wasn’t already there when she passed

He was likely out hunting or travelling or working...

And he returns to find the love of his life gone...

Remember how this story started with them for us:

Genesis 12:1–3 (ESV)

1 Now the Lord said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you. 2 And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. 3 I will bless those who bless you, and him who dishonors you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.”

Think about this promise to Abraham and Sarah

Leave your home - go on an adventure!

I will make your name great - you will do wonderful things!

Everyone will be blessed by you - you will change the world!

You will have children who will multiply - you will have a namesake

And they will live in a huge portion of land - you will be blessed

Imagine the conversations Sarah and Abraham had together at that time

They were in 60’s and 70’s but still young

They probably had so many great talks about so many dreams

Those who are married: Do you ever dream with your spouse?

Tash and I, we love to dream

When we first moved here, we looked at our dump of a house

The attic was full of stuff

kitchen was a nightmare

The basement looked like a dungeon

We walked out of the house like, “Thanks Mike… Next!”

But then we went home and started dreaming

What if we added a bathroom and closet upstairs?

Knocked down the walls in dining room and kitchen and opened it up?

Put a wall in the basement so you don’t have to poop in the laundry room?

Then, we bought the house - and some people said we were crazy

But now, we love our house! All because we could dream together

We talk about all sorts of things

Traveling and building a home and owning an Air BnB and living in Alaska and camping across the country...

We even talk about what we’ll do if we win the lottery

I don’t even care if we win, the dreaming is so much fun by itself!

When we first got married, all we had was dreams!

At this point though, we have mixture of 2 things: dreams and memories

Memories of the dreams we worked for

Someday I know I’ll get to the point where Abraham is now

No more dreams with Sarah, only memories

Because she’s gone

They actually do have one more thing, we’ll talk about that in the final message in a few weeks

But at this moment, I wonder how Abraham feels

I thought we were going to take possession of this land together

I thought we were going to have so many children running around

You hear that a lot when someone suffers loss

I thought we were going to grow old and sit in rocking chairs on the porch

I thought parents weren’t supposed to bury their children

I thought she was the one, but now she’s gone

Finding God’s peace doesn’t mean you won’t experience loss

That can be hard to swallow

We like to think, “Well if I’m on God’s side, He’s going to give me what I want!”

He does give to us good things in amazing abundance, but that doesn’t mean we won’t suffer

Jesus said this:

John 16:33 (ESV)

33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

He has overcome the world, He has given us a way to have good things!

Eternal life and payment for our sin!

The Holy Spirit working in our lives to improve us and to help others

Community in His church to love and support one another

That gives us peace!

But even still, tribulation will come - things will get hard

Jesus doesn’t even say you might have tribulation, He says you will have tribulation

But He promises to get you through it if you trust Him

He promises to be with you through it

So what do we do?

Genesis 23:3–4 (ESV)

3 And Abraham rose up from before his dead and said to the Hittites, 4 “I am a sojourner and foreigner among you; give me property among you for a burying place, that I may bury my dead out of my sight.”

These Hittites are the children of Heth (Heeth)

If you remember when Noah lived after the flood, he had sons Shem, Ham and Japheth

Ham had a son, Canaan (the land was named after and Canaanites)

Canaan had a son, Heth

And the descendents of Heth were known as the Hittites

Abraham goes to this people and asks to buy land - something that wasn’t done

You couldn’t buy land from a clan that wasn’t yours - that’s why Abraham hasn’t bought any

But he goes by faith anyway

Look at what he says, “Let me buy land to bury my wife so I don’t have to see her.”

He can’t even bear to look upon her anymore he’s so devastated

He’s got one kid and no land and no wife...

So what do we do when we get there?

Look at Hebrews 11 where the author talks about Abraham and Sarah:

Hebrews 11:9 (ESV)

9 By faith he went to live in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, living in tents with Isaac and Jacob, heirs with him of the same promise.

Hebrews 11:13 (ESV)

13 These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth.

Hebrews 11:16 (ESV)

16 But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city.

We’ve talked about this passage before

Having a wife is wonderful

Having kids is wonderful

Owning land is wonderful

But those things pale in comparison to what God offers after this world passes away!

So when we face disappointment and suffering here...

We remember God’s ultimate promises for eternity!

Life may fall apart, but your faith doesn’t have to

Abraham knows Sarah won’t see the promises of God fulfilled

He’s probably sure he won’t see them all either

But that doesn’t stop him in his faith

He goes to ask for a piece of land he shouldn’t be able to own

If he didn’t believe in God’s promises here, Abraham would be taking Sarah back to their homeland

But Abraham knows this is his land by God’s authority

It’s actually kind of a bold move...

So he moves based on what God said

We should attack our lives with such boldness

Abraham will never hold a piece of the promised land himself, except this plot where he buries his wife

And he’s okay with that, because he knows God’s real promise comes in the future

Just like the promises we hold on to in Jesus

Genesis 23:5–6 (ESV)

5 The Hittites answered Abraham, 6 “Hear us, my lord; you are a prince of God among us. Bury your dead in the choicest of our tombs. None of us will withhold from you his tomb to hinder you from burying your dead.”

What a compliment

Abraham says, “I’m just a sojourner among you.”

The Hittites say, “No! Absolutely not! You’re a Prince of God among us!”

I love that this is Abraham’s reputation, you are a man of God and we want to help you!

Brant Hansen tells a story of his friend Michael

He opened a Christian coffee shop near San Francisco

Right in middle of downtown arts scene between feminist bookstore and hipster apts.

The very building was used for the biggest art show for AIDS research the previous year

Featured art you imagine many Christian’s would be uncomfortable viewing...

When Michael bought it, he met one of the organizers who asked how the venue was coming

Organizer said he understood he’d have to find a new location this year

Michael said, “No, you don’t need to find a new place. You can have it right here.”

Organizer explained it wasn’t necessary, he understood what “Christian coffee shop” meant

He understood Michael wouldn’t want that kind of crowd in his coffee house

Michael insisted, “Not only are you welcome, I’ll pay for the catering myself.”

He said, “I don’t need to appreciate the art, I want you to feel at home.”

He met everyone at the door in a tuxedo and gave them chocolate covered strawberries!

It was the best exhibition the group every had

Michael also spent quite a bit of time talking about God, and people seemed to welcome it

He talked about the goodness of God because he knows everyone wants to know a God like that

People need to know what God is for to care about what He’s against

So many people know what we stand against

But our impact is so much greater when people know what we stand for!

Look at Abraham!

The Hittites love him, not because he helped God blow up Sodom and Gomorrah...

But because they can tell he’s a man of God

Am I saying to promote or condone sin?

Nope, but I am saying to love people; even the ones who don’t know Jesus yet

Yes, love even your enemies...

Hittite’s weren’t God worshippers

Their religion was a scattered amalgamation of faiths

Yet, Abraham worked to have peace and favor with them

And so they responded positively to Abraham, but also his God

Here, they say, “Take whatever you need, we won’t stop you.”

See Abraham’s response

Genesis 23:7–9 (ESV)

7 Abraham rose and bowed to the Hittites, the people of the land. 8 And he said to them, “If you are willing that I should bury my dead out of my sight, hear me and entreat for me Ephron the son of Zohar, 9 that he may give me the cave of Machpelah, which he owns; it is at the end of his field. For the full price let him give it to me in your presence as property for a burying place.”

So Abraham is honored and thankful for this favor

He bows down to show reverence and respect and gratitude

Then he already knows exactly what land he wants to ask for

Back then, people were buried in caves

Rather than digging a hole, you’d find a cave or dig one out, and place bodies in there

Remember Jesus calls the Pharisees “whitewashed tombs”

During passover, millions came to Jerusalem and it was hard to find a place to stay

So during that season, tombs would be painted white to show they were tombs

If someone accidently went in, they’d be unclean during Passover

The hillsides were covered in beautiful white stones, but they were full of death

So Abraham asks for a specific cave from a guy who isn’t there

It’s already a cave at the end of his property, and Abraham will pay full price

Which he does for a reason...

Remember what he said to the king of Sodom in Genesis 14?

He rescued Lot, a bunch of people and stuff from Chederlaomer

The king wanted to let Abraham keep the stuff, he said , “No, thanks.”

Genesis 14:22–23 (ESV)

22 But Abram said to the king of Sodom, “I have lifted my hand to the Lord, God Most High, Possessor of heaven and earth, 23 that I would not take a thread or a sandal strap or anything that is yours, lest you should say, ‘I have made Abram rich.’

He wanted people to know that God blessed him, not man

And so, he offers to pay full price

Integrity matters most when things are hard

When things get tough, we’re more apt to cut corners

I try not to use bad language, but when I hammer my thumb...

I try not to get angry but when Tash eats those dang chips in my ear...

Struggle makes it so much easier to just give in…

But that’s when our integrity shows up and proves where we stand

Genesis 23:10–11 (ESV)

10 Now Ephron was sitting among the Hittites, and Ephron the Hittite answered Abraham in the hearing of the Hittites, of all who went in at the gate of his city, 11 “No, my lord, hear me: I give you the field, and I give you the cave that is in it. In the sight of the sons of my people I give it to you. Bury your dead.”

So Abraham wants the cave from Ephron, he’s not there, he’s at the gate of the city

Remember, the gate is the hub of a city

It’s where deals are made, disputes are settled, announcements delivered

It seems they’re sending messengers back and forth, each with an audience

“Hey, Abraham wants your land - he’ll pay full price.”

“No, no. Take it for free!”

That’s really nice of him, isn’t it! No, it’s actually not...

He’s reverse bargaining, this was the custom in the day

You start low, so no one thinks you’re greedy - ceremonial

Remember, they have audiences

Deals were done publicly, so good faith was really important

You always start low, as in “Take it for free!”

If you went to negotiate a house today and they said, “Take it for free!” We’d jump on it!

What do we do? Start high, and work it down to get the most for the house...

If you did that back then, no one would ever deal with you again

You’d have a reputation of greed

So, you’d start low and then do your bargaining

Now watch:

Genesis 23:12–15 (ESV)

12 Then Abraham bowed down before the people of the land. 13 And he said to Ephron in the hearing of the people of the land, “But if you will, hear me: I give the price of the field. Accept it from me, that I may bury my dead there.” 14 Ephron answered Abraham, 15 “My lord, listen to me: a piece of land worth four hundred shekels of silver, what is that between you and me? Bury your dead.”

Abraham says, “I’ll pay full price.”

Ephron says, “No, take it for free.”

Abraham says, “No, really. Full price.”

Ephron says, “It’s 400 shekels, but what is that between you and me?”

Again, it’s a game

400 shekels is nothing between us!

Then Abraham should say, “That is true!

“But I’m only a foreigner, could you go for 100?”

So Ephron just set his starting price… and it’s a lot!

All of this is said to make him look kind and decent, but he’s gouging Abraham here

400 shekels is about 1,600 days wages

Today, the average person in Illinois would make $327,000 in that time!

For a field and burial cave, he’s asking that much!

Today that would cover 100 years of cryonic storage

You know, being frozen to come back to life later

You could be buried next to the Roosevelt’s for that price

Literally, today it costs $12,000 for remains to be sent to the moon!

Know what this reminds me of? Palm Sunday - Jesus triumphant entry

The world is playing nice for Jesus

Hosanna in the highest

Let us lay out leaves on the road for you

But give us a few days, you’ll see our true colors...

But Jesus didn’t need a few days - He was weeping because He already knew

And yet, Jesus went through with it anyway

And that’s what Abraham does:

Genesis 23:16 (ESV)

16 Abraham listened to Ephron, and Abraham weighed out for Ephron the silver that he had named in the hearing of the Hittites, four hundred shekels of silver, according to the weights current among the merchants.

Abraham knew what Ephron was doing

He wasn’t an idiot, he was generous

He threw a crazy number at him, but Abraham just agreed to it

Tash has rule, “You don’t tell me what i’m going to pay, I’ll tell you what I’m going to pay!”

She asks for discounts, pulls out coupons, uses apps and walks out like, “Check out my deal!”

I paid 33 cents for this TV!

I’m not like that, I’m like, “$45 for a Big Mac? Ok!”

Here, more than getting as good deal, Abraham wants to stick to what he said before

I don’t want anyone thinking man is the one sustaining me

God is the only one that provides and blesses, so I’ll pay the fee

I’m not saying we should all go out and pay more than we need to

The economy is already taking care of that by itself

I’m saying, if we are going to make a statement about God

Or a promise that hards to keep

Or sign a contract...

It’s important that we’re true to our word

Abraham declared that he doesn’t depend on man

So now he’s sticking to it

He doesn’t need Ephron to treat him nicely, God is one who provides

And so he pays $327,000 for a field and a single cave to bury his wife in

Make sure you leave room for God to work

Too often when things go bad, we look everywhere for the answer, except to God

Maybe I need to try harder

Maybe I need to do more of this

Or do less of that

Or maybe I need to hide something or go behind someone’s back

The answer is letting go of control and letting God do His thing

Matthew 11:28–30 (ESV)

28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

When we struggle, Jesus wants us to go to Him

How often do we just try to do it ourselves...

I’m not saying the answer to all your problems is to do nothing

Of course, God wants us invested

But don’t get so caught up that you don’t leave Him room to work

Genesis 23:17–20 (ESV)

17 So the field of Ephron in Machpelah, which was to the east of Mamre, the field with the cave that was in it and all the trees that were in the field, throughout its whole area, was made over 18 to Abraham as a possession in the presence of the Hittites, before all who went in at the gate of his city. 19 After this, Abraham buried Sarah his wife in the cave of the field of Machpelah east of Mamre (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan. 20 The field and the cave that is in it were made over to Abraham as property for a burying place by the Hittites.

Abraham finally gets an official piece of the promised land

That term “made over” suggests that this was deeded to him officially

This one little cave held the body of Sarah

Later it would hold Abraham too.

Then Rebekah, Isaac, Leah, and then Jacob

The only piece of the promised land Abraham officially owned, was this field and cave

A space big enough to hold 6 bodies

The first 3 generations of Hebrews

The only time Abraham laid his head on his own soil, was when he was laid in the grave

Hebrews 11:1 (ESV)

1 Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

That’s the formula for faith

What is are the things hoped for here?

The land

The descendents

The good name

Blessing the world

What isn’t seen? Virtually all of it!

Abraham gets one piece of dirt, that’s it!

And that little piece is all that Abraham will ever see

But they still had faith that what God said was true

That one land will become a kingdom

That one child will become a nation

And one man’s faith would change the world forever

Because 1,600+ years later, one of his descendents would ride into a city on a donkey

The same person who came to Abraham and gave him this promise

And He would die on a cross, finalizing the promise that all the families of the earth shall be blessed

Including ours

Thank God, that although faith relies on things unseen

We have seen the Lord, and what He has done has truly changed the world

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