Advice #26
ADVICE DAD NEVER GAVE YOU
Ralph Sorter
Life is full of bumpy roads. There are chuckholes everywhere, and you can’t avoid them all. What are the chuckholes? They are the things that others say and do (whether intentional or not) that hurt and wound us. But each of us has the option to jump on the paving machine and cover up the chuckholes. What is the paving machine? It’s the decision to choose forgiveness.
First we need to understand what forgiveness is not. You don’t have to feel like forgiving before you can really forgive. It’s a choice you make, not a feeling. Forgiveness is not forgetting what someone did that hurt you. We need to learn from our mistakes and steer away from things that can wound us. Forgiveness isn’t excusing their behavior. And forgiveness doesn’t demand a guarantee that they won’t do it again.
Forgiveness sounds hard? Yes it is! So what is forgiveness? Forgiveness dwells on their potential. If we are like Christ, we will return good for wrong done to us; we don’t dwell on what they did wrong. Forgiveness offers them a clean slate. Following the example of Him who forgave us the most, we won’t bring up the past to use it against them. Forgiveness talks to others about them the way you want them to talk about you. A bitter spirit that brings up their failure to others is clear evidence we have not forgiven. Forgiveness takes risks. It says, “I will be friends with you again.”
You’ve heard that sometimes children can say things so purely – “…out of the mouth of babes.” Here’s a poem from a 4-year old that capsulizes forgiveness.
Good thought
Hurt you not
Gossip never
Friends forever
A Message from HOPE’S
Marriage & Family Ministry
ADVICE DAD NEVER GAVE YOU
Ralph Sorter
Life is full of bumpy roads. There are chuckholes everywhere, and you can’t avoid them all. What are the chuckholes? They are the things that others say and do (whether intentional or not) that hurt and wound us. But each of us has the option to jump on the paving machine and cover up the chuckholes. What is the paving machine? It’s the decision to choose forgiveness.
First we need to understand what forgiveness is not. You don’t have to feel like forgiving before you can really forgive. It’s a choice you make, not a feeling. Forgiveness is not forgetting what someone did that hurt you. We need to learn from our mistakes and steer away from things that can wound us. Forgiveness isn’t excusing their behavior. And forgiveness doesn’t demand a guarantee that they won’t do it again.
Forgiveness sounds hard? Yes it is! So what is forgiveness? Forgiveness dwells on their potential. If we are like Christ, we will return good for wrong done to us; we don’t dwell on what they did wrong. Forgiveness offers them a clean slate. Following the example of Him who forgave us the most, we won’t bring up the past to use it against them. Forgiveness talks to others about them the way you want them to talk about you. A bitter spirit that brings up their failure to others is clear evidence we have not forgiven. Forgiveness takes risks. It says, “I will be friends with you again.”
You’ve heard that sometimes children can say things so purely – “…out of the mouth of babes.” Here’s a poem from a 4-year old that capsulizes forgiveness.
Good thought
Hurt you not
Gossip never
Friends forever
A Message from HOPE’S
Marriage & Family Ministry
ADVICE DAD NEVER GAVE YOU
Ralph Sorter
Life is full of bumpy roads. There are chuckholes everywhere, and you can’t avoid them all. What are the chuckholes? They are the things that others say and do (whether intentional or not) that hurt and wound us. But each of us has the option to jump on the paving machine and cover up the chuckholes. What is the paving machine? It’s the decision to choose forgiveness.
First we need to understand what forgiveness is not. You don’t have to feel like forgiving before you can really forgive. It’s a choice you make, not a feeling. Forgiveness is not forgetting what someone did that hurt you. We need to learn from our mistakes and steer away from things that can wound us. Forgiveness isn’t excusing their behavior. And forgiveness doesn’t demand a guarantee that they won’t do it again.
Forgiveness sounds hard? Yes it is! So what is forgiveness? Forgiveness dwells on their potential. If we are like Christ, we will return good for wrong done to us; we don’t dwell on what they did wrong. Forgiveness offers them a clean slate. Following the example of Him who forgave us the most, we won’t bring up the past to use it against them. Forgiveness talks to others about them the way you want them to talk about you. A bitter spirit that brings up their failure to others is clear evidence we have not forgiven. Forgiveness takes risks. It says, “I will be friends with you again.”
You’ve heard that sometimes children can say things so purely – “…out of the mouth of babes.” Here’s a poem from a 4-year old that capsulizes forgiveness.
Good thought
Hurt you not
Gossip never
Friends forever
A Message from HOPE’S
Marriage & Family Ministry