David in Hebron 3

Think about the context - civil war in Israel. Not an easy thing, but here we have David acting as a peacemaker… and a chance for the dust to settle.

to put the past behind and move forward.

2 Sam 3:20-21 “When Abner came with twenty men to David at Hebron, David made a feast for Abner and the men who were with him. And Abner said to David, “I will arise and go and will gather all Israel to my lord the king, that they may make a covenant with you, and that you may reign over all that your heart desires.” So David sent Abner away, and he went in peace.”

and it seems like that’s what is going to happen. Peace at last… but enter Joab.

2 Sam 3:22-25 “Just then the servants of David arrived with Joab from a raid, bringing much spoil with them. But Abner was not with David at Hebron, for he had sent him away, and he had gone in peace. When Joab and all the army that was with him came, it was told Joab, “Abner the son of Ner came to the king, and he has let him go, and he has gone in peace.” Then Joab went to the king and said, “What have you done? Behold, Abner came to you. Why is it that you have sent him away, so that he is gone? You know that Abner the son of Ner came to deceive you and to know your going out and your coming in, and to know all that you are doing.””

Joab - unable to forgive. Not interested in peace.

he holds a grudge - and holds it tightly.

Joab is one of David’s nephews, and he and his two siblings (described together often as sons of Zeruiah) are hot headed.

They don’t reason well, they’re guided by their emotions.

The Lord promises “vengeance is mine” - perfect justice belongs to God.

and there are times, there are some things, that are best left to God’s perfect justice.

David is trying to settle a war that’s been raging for years. blood spilled on both sides. righteous and unrighteous, and to move in that direction, David and Abner make a peace treaty of sorts.

And they do so in Hebron, a city of refuge, a city that is set aside just for that type of reconciliation.

But Joab can’t trust his authority or God here - he wants justice now, not later.

and he thinks that he alone knows what perfect justice is.

enraged - he takes this “justice” into his own hands and goes rogue.

2 Sam 3:26-27 “When Joab came out from David’s presence, he sent messengers after Abner, and they brought him back from the cistern of Sirah. But David did not know about it. And when Abner returned to Hebron, Joab took him aside into the midst of the gate to speak with him privately, and there he struck him in the stomach, so that he died, for the blood of Asahel his brother.”

David hears of it and places the guilt firmly on Joab’s head.

2 Sam 3:28-30 “Afterward, when David heard of it, he said, “I and my kingdom are forever guiltless before the Lord for the blood of Abner the son of Ner. May it fall upon the head of Joab and upon all his father’s house, and may the house of Joab never be without one who has a discharge or who is leprous or who holds a spindle or who falls by the sword or who lacks bread!” So Joab and Abishai his brother killed Abner, because he had put their brother Asahel to death in the battle at Gibeon.”

and as a result - this feud between the tribes will continue to rage - and go on in some form for the next 300 years.

Joab’s disposition to be unwilling to forgive

Joab’s pride has led him to many sins - unable to reconcile - unwilling to rely on God’s justice - unwilling to submit - unwilling to hear or be instructed...

and as a result? war.

PRINCIPLE 1 - There must be factions.

David just finished up dealing with issues, sunrise on the horizon, restoration after war… and then BAM - Joab wrecks it in one shot.

If you’re doing our church wide Bible reading plan, this past week we went through Ephesians, and one of the key teachings there and in other places - is that we should strive for unity.

but to be instructed to strive for something implies - that there will be factions.

and not only is there a chance there will be - THERE MUST BE

1 Cor 11:19 “for there must be factions among you in order that those who are genuine among you may be recognized.”

This is one of the ways that God builds and refines his church - through conflict.

If you are at a church to avoid conflict - well get ready - God’s going to come after that idol with a quickness.

But the Bible also says - blessed are the peacemakers.

AND Psalm 120:6-7 “Too long have I had my dwelling among those who hate peace. I am for peace, but when I speak, they are for war!”

the disposition of the Christian - to work for peace - but be ready for war.

A portrait of the war

2 Sam 2:12-16 “Abner the son of Ner, and the servants of Ish-bosheth the son of Saul, went out from Mahanaim to Gibeon. And Joab the son of Zeruiah and the servants of David went out and met them at the pool of Gibeon. And they sat down, the one on the one side of the pool, and the other on the other side of the pool. And Abner said to Joab, “Let the young men arise and compete before us.” And Joab said, “Let them arise.” Then they arose and passed over by number, twelve for Benjamin and Ish-bosheth the son of Saul, and twelve of the servants of David. And each caught his opponent by the head and thrust his sword in his opponent’s side, so they fell down together...

Asahel’s pursuit of Abner - Asahel young - Abner experienced. Asahel a hot head, like his brother Joab.

and that conflict motivated Joab’s move.

David restores - reconciles with Abner - but Joab won’t allow it.

Joab kills Abner IN A CITY OF REFUGE

PRINCIPLE 2 - THERE must be factions - but strive for peace.

work for peace - fight for peace - but remember that peace isn’t always the option.

Sometiems we need the courts - sometimew we need church discipline - sometimes we need to prosecute - sometimes we even need to kill (David did)

but our disposition is towards peace. win the person. win the peace.

And this will COST YOU

it means you might have to absorb a few insults.

let your reputation take some hits - swallow your pride.

Abner met David in the city of refuge wanting reconciliation and David took it.

we should do the same with our brothers

BUT WHAT ABOUT JUSTICE

you don’t get perfect justice in this life. not possible.

and the pursuit of perfect justice will only fuel the feuds for years to come.

this is why the Bible says you can confront the sin - or you can cover it.

and some sins MUST be covered. if you press the issue on every issue - people will see you as the enemy.

Asahel couldn’t let Abner go - ran after him to kill him - no matter what Abner said.

Joab couldn’t let Abner go - couldn’t forgive - and the fallout included 300 more years of war.

In other words - sometimes it’s more important to win the person than win the argument - even when you’re right.

ILLUSTRATION

ACTIONS YOU CAN TAKE WITHOUT CONFRONTATION

overlook - negotiate

discuss - a lot of times you may be talking past eachother - misunderstanding - miscommunication

wait - be patient - listen

benefit of the doubt

pray - not everyting is needing to be resolved immediately. Maybe you should just ask the Lord to fix it and then trust him.

Is this your responsibility? Is it within your juridiction?

THERE ARE ISSUES WHERE YOU DO NEED TO GO TO WAR - but that’s not most.

There are some folks who only know how to fight… discernment bloggers. or whatever.

that’s not the disposition we want to carry.

PRINCIPLE 3 - You are a part of a hierarchy.

Acting alone is not the norm. And should be exceedingly rare.

Joab acted alone - sinfully. He was filled with anger and vengeance and he took matters into his own hands.

He did not involve his king, he did not involve his hierarchy - and as a result he was cursed.

he went rogue and paid for it.

Wives are bound to their husbands - chidlren to their parents - employees to their employers - church members to their elders - soldiers have commanding officers...

DON’T BE JOAB.

“I’m called to deal with this problem.”

Well… are you sure? Did you check with your covenantal hierarchy.

Is your disposition towards authority one of question? or one of submission?

Remember - BE A BEREAN - Trust… but verify. Trust… but search the scriptures.

our defaults towards our authorities is submission.

We tell our kids often - you can ask dad questions, you can even argue your points (that’s for the teens) but you do it while you’re obeying.

you do it with a disposition of obedience.

Pro 12:18 “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

James 1:19-20 “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”

Matthew 5:9 ““Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”

CONCLUSION

Conflict WILL happen.

This is how you are refined - this is how God writes stories.

ill: kiddos and bad guys.

bad guys are real. They exist. And they exist with a purpose. For the good guys to win.

Conflict exists - and it’s there to make much of God and make you stronger.

and sometimes that strength is knowing when to make peace.

JESUS AS PEACEMAKER