What If I Won't Forgive?
Notes
Transcript
Handout
Matthew 18:21-35
We have been working through the topic of the Truth of Forgiveness.
a couple of weeks ago, before Easter, we talked about some practical truths about forgiving someone, but there is more that I want to talk about before we end this series.
For instance, What should we say when a person says, “I just can’t forgive”?
Or worse, “I will not forgive!”
These two questions are really different.
If you refuse to forgive it is a matter of the will.
But sometimes the offense may be so grievous that we don’t know how to forgive.
That is quite different.
To get to the bottom of this we need to look at Jesus’ teaching.
If you are unwilling to forgive, there is a very serious warning we must heed.
First we need to understand that There is...
I. No Limit to Forgiveness
I. No Limit to Forgiveness
Jesus speaks to the limits of forgiveness here in Matthew 18.
Like many others through the years the disciples questioned just how far forgiveness should go.
Peter is the one who speaks up:
21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
If someone sins against us, then asks forgiveness, we understand that we ought to forgive.
Peter understood this.
But Peter began to think…how long should this go on?
I imagine that Peter must have recognized that Jesus would require a large number, so it wasn’t just two or three times…instead He said, how about seven times?
Is that good enough?
22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
Jesus is not saying we need to count up to 490 times, then we are off the hook!
No Jesus was using hyperbole - exaggerated statement or claim that was not meant to be taken literally.
“I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.”
“I told you a million times not to exaggerate!”
No, He was saying there is no limit to the number of times you are to forgive!
But what about times that the offence is really bad?!
I think Jesus anticipated this question, so he continued:
II. Unlimited Forgiveness Illustrated
II. Unlimited Forgiveness Illustrated
Jesus begins to tell of a king who wished to clear his books of the debts that were owed him.
One by one debtors came before him to give an account and pay what was owed.
One came before him who owed 10,000 talents.
A denarius is a day’s wage for a common workingman.
In today’s world, at the Federal minimum wage of $7.25, it would be $58.
In days of old, a denarius could buy 15 pounds of wheat.
A talent is 6,000 denarii, or 20 years of daily wages for a six-day workweek.
Today, one talent would be worth $348,000.
Which means that 10,000 talents would come to 200,000 years of labor, or 60 million working days.
It would be equivalent to 3.48 billion dollars earned on minimum wage.
Ok, let’s picture this...
We have three parts in this play… I’m going to need some help!
The king - He is rich, he has a lot of assets.
He writes off a major loan, he is definitely loaded!
He can be kind…but he can also be stern.
We don’t have any billionaire kings in our midst…as far as I know, but...
Who should play this part?
Ok He is the Good king, so Everyone say “Yayyyy”
Secondly, we need the loser in this story
He is the bad guy-the one you don’t want to be like.
He was not afraid to beg, and yet in a instant turned around and was mean.
He is a weaselly schemer.
Again, we don’t have anyone like this…so let’s make do with what we have…who should play this part?
Ok He is the Weasel so everyone say, “Boooo”
Then the last one, just an ordinary, hard-working guy who had some hard breaks.
Just an average person, Who should play this role?
Ok He was the mistreated, so everyone say, “Awww”
So the weasel owes the king a huge amount of money, one that could never be able to pay back.
Do you have $3.8 billion?
The king asks this man to come before him and settle his debt.
The weasel begs to be let go, he falls to his knees and begs for an extension - Just a little more time (As if that is going to do any good) - But he promises to take care of the debt.
Instead the king looks at him and has compassion, picks him up and forgives him his debt.
Everyone says, “Yayyy!”
So the weasel leaves the throne room and on his way home he sees a guy who who owes him a few bucks (at least in comparison).
According to a statement made at the feeding of the 5,000 we could guess it is enough to feed 2,500 people.
the Greek word is denarion, which would come to 100 days of labor.
in our time that would be close to $5,000.
In comparison a very small amount, but still not an easy thing to come by.
I don't have an extra $5,000 laying around!
So the weasel has just finished dusting himself off from kneeling before the king and being forgiven, and sees this average Joe.
The Bible says the weasel laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, and said, “pay me what you owe me!”
Everyone says, “boooo!”
The average Joe falls at the weasels feet and begs for mercy and patience.
Everyone Says, “Awwww”
He isn’t asking for a handout, just for more time.
But this weasel, who has been forgiven a 3.8 Billion dollar debt - just completely wiped away - doesn’t have mercy and throws him into prison.
Everyone says, “booo!”
A fellow servant saw what happened, they were broken hearted and told the king what happened.
The King calls him to come before him again, and says, “You wicked vile weasel!
I forgave you $3.8 billion, you should have forgiven a measly $5000.
You should have had the same compassion that was given to you!
The king was so mad that he turned him over to the tormentors until he could pay him back - which he would never be able to do.
Thank you gentlemen!
But catch this - Jesus then makes a shocking statement.
35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.
Now keep in mind the context of this story - Peter had asked Jesus, “How many times should we forgive?”
Jesus said, “seventy times seven” - an unlimited number of times.
I’m sure this would have been impossible for the disciples to hear and obey, had Jesus not used this illustration.
Jesus cut to the heart of the matter - You have been forgiven so much more, than what you are being asked to forgive.
“But I have never done what they have done!”
No, but you have done so much more in quantity in comparison!
The Bible even tells us of secret sins, or unknown sins
12 Who can understand his errors? Cleanse thou me from secret faults.
Plus we often make excuses for the sins we do know, thinking they are so much smaller than the sins of other people.
But they are not.
All sin is equal in that it is falling short of the glory of God.
Jesus said, Adultery is the same as lustful thoughts…murder is the same as hateful thoughts.
Yes they are different in our eyes because of how it affects others around us, but sin is sin!
10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
We cannot justify our sin, our wrong doing, our need for forgiveness and condemn those around us who need our forgiveness.
III. The Cost of Unforgiveness
III. The Cost of Unforgiveness
Let’s go back to the question we asked at the beginning.
What should we say when a person says, “I just can’t forgive”?
Or worse, “I will not forgive!”
This is not a theoretical question.
Many are quite comfortable saying that they will not forgive.
In 1988 a Gallup poll on forgiveness showed that 94% of respondents said it is important to forgive.
But only 48% said that they practice forgiveness.
What about those other 46% who don’t forgive?
Jesus said the unforgiving servant would be turned over to the tormentors.
35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.
Jesus point is clear.
Those unwilling or unable to forgive should fear for their salvation.
Does this mean we will lose our salvation?
No you cannot lose by your efforts what you did not gain by your own efforts.
We will talk more about that in a moment.
But Jesus stressed the importance of forgiving others.
After teaching the disciples how to pray, Jesus said,
14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Again in Matthew 7:1-2
1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.
2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
It ought to cause us to tremble a little when we think of what it means to refuse to forgive.
If you are saying, I cannot forgive, or I will not forgive, you had better look at your salvation more closely!
What we are talking about is not salvation by works.
for instance, We forgive so that we are forgiven.
He was teaching that people who have genuinely received grace are characterized by a willingness to give grace to others.
Someone once said, “Holding apples in your hands does not make you an apple tree. But it is indeed characteristic of apple trees to bear apples. Forgiving people will not make you a Christian, but Christians do forgive.”
There have been many stories of remarkable forgiveness given by Christians.
Many people who have found themselves in a situation that seems impossible to forgive, yet have found the grace to forgive.
If you do not seem to have the grace to be able to forgive like you are commanded to, You better check on your own salvation.
Have you truly given your heart to the Lord, have you truly trusted in Christ as your Savior, because if you do God has promised His grace to forgive.
Does this mean if we forgive we will erase the possibility of consequences coming to those who we have forgiven?
No we have covered this a few weeks ago.
Forgiveness is a commitment by the offended to pardon graciously the repentant from moral liability and to be reconciled to that person, although not all consequences are necessarily eliminated.
God does not forgive us of our sins and remove all natural consequences of that sin.
Someone who robs a bank, then asks God to forgive them does not get to escape going to jail.
Someone who has committed a crime should pay for that crime in our social system.
But forgiveness is a choice to remove the moral liability from our end.
We will not seek their hurt, rather we will seek reconciliation.
Whatever that may look like.
A beautiful story of the remarkable power to forgive is shown in the story of Jacob DeShazer and Mitsuo Fuchida:
To appreciate the story of Jacob DeShazer and Mitsuo Fuchida, we need to reflect on the hatred between Japan and the United States during World War II.
I was born well after World War II.
So, I never participated in the deep animosity between our countries.
I remember as a child in elementary school being fascinated with Japan after doing a Christmas project on Japan.
I even had a pen pal for a while in Japan.
But emotions were far different during and immediately after World War II.
It is hard to describe the depths of the mutual hatred.
About the war in the Pacific, historian Stephen Ambrose said: “It was the worst war that ever was . . . [because of] the extent of the mutual hatred of the Japanese for the Americans, and the Americans for the Japanese. . . . The outrages they committed are surpassed only by the holocaust. . . . In the Pacific War, both Japanese and Americans did things to each other that are unspeakable.”
Nowhere was the deep hatred more evident than for those in Japanese prisoner of war camps.
Prisoners were starved and beaten.
Their hands were crushed in vises.
They were hung by their thumbs and buried alive.
They were forced to work beyond what any of us can imagine.
Japanese commanders ordered that under no circumstances should their prisoners survive.
A typical order read like the one translated as:
“Whether they are destroyed individually or in groups, and whether it is accomplished by means of mass bombing, poisonous smoke, poisons, drowning, or decapitation, dispose of them as the situation dictates. It is the aim not to allow the escape of a single one, to annihilate them all, and not to leave any traces.”
Both Mitsuo Fuchida and Jacob DeShazer were in the thick of all this mutual hostility.
Fuchida was the combat general officer who gave the final order to bomb Pearl Harbor.
Years later Fuchida recounted: “Like a hurricane out of nowhere, my torpedo planes, dive bombers and fighters struck suddenly with indescribable fury. As smoke began to billow and the proud battleships, one by one, started tilting, my heart was almost ablaze with joy. . . . It was the most thrilling exploit of my career.”
On the other side of the ocean at an army base in Oregon, Jacob DeShazer was on KP duty when he heard that Japan had bombed Pearl Harbor.
He hurled a potato at the wall and said, “Jap, just wait and see what we’ll do to you!”
DeShazer took the first opportunity to fight against Japan.
Four months after Pearl Harbor he served on the crew of one of the bombers led by Jimmy Doolittle.
When the plane he was on ran out of fuel, DeShazer was captured by the Japanese.
He endured forty horrific months as a prisoner of war.
Some of his friends were executed instantly.
The rest starved slowly.
He hated the Japanese intensely.
Anger ate away at the core of his being.
Finally, due in part to the testimony of a Christian POW who had died, DeShazer decided to turn to Scripture for answers.
DeShazer wrote: “I was gripped with a strange longing to examine the Christian’s Bible to see if I could find the secret. I begged my captors to get a Bible for me. At last, in the month of May, 1944, a guard brought the Book, but told me I could have it for only three weeks. I eagerly began to read its pages. Chapter after chapter gripped my heart. . . . On June 8th, 1944, the words in Romans 10:9 stood out boldly before my eyes: “If thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.” In that very moment God gave me grace to confess my sins to Him, and He forgave me all my sins and saved me for Jesus’ sake, even as I later found that His Word again promises so clearly in 1 John 1:9: ‘If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.’
“How my heart rejoiced in my newness of spiritual life, even though my body was suffering so terribly from the physical beatings and lack of food. But suddenly I discovered that God had given me new spiritual eyes, and that when I looked at the Japanese officers and guards who had starved and beaten me and my companions so cruelly, I found my bitter hatred for them changed to loving pity.”
At last, on August 20, 1945 parachutists dropped into the prison camp and freed the prisoners from their cells.
DeShazer was nearly dead physically, but he was a new man spiritually.
He returned to the United States and attended Bible college.
His heart now overflowed with such love that he decided to become a missionary to Japan.
DeShazer wrote out his story and distributed it in Japan.
One of the people who read it was Mitsuo Fuchida, who was gripped by DeShazer’s story.
He wrote: “[DeShazer’s testimony] was something I could not explain. Neither could I forget it. The peaceful motivation I had read about was exactly what I was seeking. Since the American had found it in the Bible, I decided to purchase one myself, despite my traditionally Buddhist heritage.
“In the ensuing weeks, I read this book eagerly. I came to the climactic drama—the Crucifixion. I read in Luke 23:34 the prayer of Jesus Christ at His death: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” I was impressed that I was certainly one of those for whom He had prayed. The many men I had killed had been slaughtered in the name of patriotism, for I did not understand the love which Christ wishes to implant within every heart.
“Right at that moment, I seemed to meet Jesus for the first time. I understood the meaning of His death as a substitute for my wickedness, and so in prayer, I requested Him to forgive my sins and change me from a bitter, disillusioned ex-pilot into a well-balanced Christian with purpose in living.
“That date, April 14, 1950—became the second “day to remember” of my life. On that day, I became a new person. My complete view on life was changed by the intervention of the Christ I had always hated and ignored before.”
Were it not for Christ, hatred and bitterness would have consumed both Fuchida and DeShazer.
They found love where hatred once ruled.
Conclusion
Conclusion
If you are one who says, I will not forgive or I will not forgive you need to look at your salvation.
14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
It is not forgiving others that saves you, but it is the characteristic of those who are saved to forgive.
Quacking doesn’t make you a duck, but ducks do quack.
Forgiving doesn’t make you a Christian, but Christians do forgive.
Whatever someone has done to offend me pales in comparison to the sum total of what I have done to offend God.
1 My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:
2 And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.
3 And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments.
4 He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.
5 But whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby know we that we are in him.
6 He that saith he abideth in him ought himself also so to walk, even as he walked.
God has commanded us to forgive one another.
What will you do now?