Marriage And Society

                   MARRIAGE AND SOCIETY

1 COR. 7:10-24

INTRO: (EX: IN C.S. LEWIS SCREWTAPE LETTERS  SATAN WRITES TO ONE OF HIS DEMONS ON HUMAN SEXUALITY. “YOU CANT DEAL WITH PLESURE IN A HEALTHY, NORMAL, SATISFYING SENSE ON GODS GROUND. WE HAVE WON MANY THRU PLEASURE BUT IT IS HIS INVENTION NOT OURS. HE MADE THE PLEASURES—WITH ALL OUR RESEARCH WE HAVE NOT PRODUCED ONE—ALL WE CAN DO IS ENCOURAGE HUMANS TO TAKE THE PLEASURES AT TIMES, IN WAYS & DEGREES THAT HE HAS FORBIDDEN.”)   REMEMBER THERE WERE TWO MAJOR VIEWS ON THE USE OF THE BODY & SEXUALITY.

1.     FREE SEXUAL EXPRESSION—PAUL DEALT WITH THIS IN CH.5,6—THIS IS “ANYTHING IS OK ATTTITUDE”—THE FLESH IS EVIL AND SEX IS PART OF THE FLESH SO IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU DO SEXUALLY—WE SAW THIS IS OUR CULTURE IN 1960’S—FREE LOVE

2.     THIS IS THE OPPOSITE—SEX IS EVIL—FLESH IS EVIL & SEX PART OF FLESH SO HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH SEXUAL EXPRESSION—THIS IS CH.7:1-9 –SOME WERE APPLYING THIS PRINCIPLE TO MARRIAGE

PAUL WROTE TO STRAIGHTEN OUT THEIR THINKING

I.                  INSTRUCTIONS TO THE CHRISTIAN COUPLE (V.10.11)

WE KNOW MARRIAGE HAS ITS UPS & DOWNS (EX: LIST OF THOUGHTS ON MARRIAGE) IN PAULS DAY IT WAS SAID “PEOPLE GOT MARRIED TO GET DIVORCED & GOT DIVORCED TO GET MARRIED AGAIN—MUCH OF THIS WAS DUE TO THE VIEW OF WOMEN—ARISTOTLE SAID THAT WOMEN WERE SUB-HUMAN. JEWS PRAYED THANKING GOD THEY WERE NOT GENTILES, SLAVES OR WOMEN—IN THE MORE LIBERAL RABBI SCHOOL MEN COULD DIVORCE FOR ANYTHING—BURN TOAST OR TALK TOO LOUD OR TALK TO MAN IN PUBLIC. AMONG GRKS & ROMAN A DIVORCED PERSON WAS EXPECTED TO REMARRY WITHIN 18 MO. OR PAY TAX PENALTY.  SO PAUL ADDRESSED THE MARRIED—REFERRING TO JESUS COMMAND AND JESUS QUOTED GEN. “WHAT GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER LET NOT MAN SEPARATE”—IN MATT. 19:5,6 JESUS EXPLAINED TO DISCIPLES GOD ALLOWED DIVORCE BECAUSE OF HARDNESS OF HEART---GOD DECLARED IN MAL. 2:16 “ I HATE DIVORCE”-ADULTERY IS ONLY REASON FOR DIVORCE IN GOSPELS & MATT.19:9 IN ARAMAIC SAYS “AN UNDIVORCED WOMAN” –A WOMAN WHOSE HUSBAND HAS NOT GIVEN HER DIVORCE PAPERS. LAW OF MOSES PERMITTED DIVORCE ON CRIMINAL, MORAL GROUNDS---THEN IF MAN TIRED OF HIS WIFE (NOW WOMAN TIRED OF HUSBAND) –BUT THEN MAN MIGHT NOT GIVE WOMAN DIVORCE PAPERS—A BILL OF DIVORCE WOULD ALLOW THE WOMAN TO REMARRY (DEUT. 24:1) –BUT DON’T DIVORCE BECAUSE THINGS GET TENSE OR ROUGH--SO THE MATT. PASSAGE REFERS TO MEN WHO MARRIED WOMEN NOT ACTUALLY DIVORCED BY LAW---WOMAN LEFT WITH NO MEANS OF SUPPORT---THE WORD “SEPARATE” IN 1 COR.10:10 IS REALLY “DIVORCE”—IT WAS USED THAT WAY IN LEGAL SENSE. PAUL WAS SAYING THIS KIND OF CHEAPENING OF MARRIAGE—DIVORCING & REMARRYING SHOULD NOT HAPPEN AMONG BELIEVERS.

II.               INSTRUCTIONS TO CHRISTIANS MARRIED TO NON-CHRISTIANS  (V.12-16)

A.   UNBELIEVER WANTS TO STAY MARRIED—“TO THE REST” –THIS IS A DIFFERENT SITUATION.  SOME WHO BECAME CHRISTIANS AFTER THEIR MARRIAGE THOUGHT THEY HAD TO DIVORCE THEIR NON-CHRISTIAN MATE---THEY THOUGHT THAT PAULS WORDS IN CH.6:12-20 MEANT THEIR BODIES (WHICH ARE TEMPLES) WOULD BE DEFILED—PAUL DID NOT SAY OR MEAN THAT.  IN 7:39 HE WILL SAY CHRISTIAN SHOULD NOT MARRY A NON-CHRISTIAN—ALSO 2 COR. 6:14 (YOKED WITH UNBELIEVERS)—AVOID A LOT OF TROUBLE/CONFLICT.  BUT WHAT SHOULD BELIEVING MATE DO WHEN UNBELIEVING MATE DOES NOT SHARE IN JOY OF SALVATION OR SERVING LORD?---SOME THOUGHT THE MARRIAGE WAS UNHOLY AND CHILDREN BE DEFILED. HOW DO THESE MARRIAGE HAPPEN?

1.     UNBELIEVERS MARRY & ONE BECOMES CHRISTIAN

2.     CHRISTIAN MARRIES NON-CHRISTIAN THINKING HE OR SHE IS CHRISTIAN WHEN THEY ARE NOT

3.     IGNORANCE OF SCRIPTURE—ONE OR BOTH NOT TAUGHT IT IS NOT WISE TO MARRY NON-CHRISTIAN

4.     SOME JUST WILLINGLY DISOBEY GODS WORD.

PAUL SAID THERE WAS NO DIRECT TEACHING ON THIS FROM JESUS BUT STILL INSPIRED BY HOLY SPIRIT. THERE ARE SEVERAL REASONS WHY CHRISTIAN SHOULD NOT INITIATE DIVORCE: 

1.     FAMILY BETTER OFF HAVING ONE CHRISTIAN

2.     THE UNBELIVER MAY BECOME CHRISTIAN—PETER REFERS TO THIS IN ( 1 PET. 3:1-6)

3.     CHRISTIAN TO BE CONTENT IN STATE THEY ARE IN WHEN CONVERTED—DON’T FORCE THAT CHANGE (17-24)

4.     CHILDREN CAN BE AFFECTED FOR CHRIST BY CHRISTIAN MATE.

PAUL WANTED THESE BELIEVERS TO KNOW THAT IF THEY WERE MARRIED TO AN UNBELIEVER  GOD RECOGNIZED THEIR MARRIAGE AND CHILDREN WERE NOT DEFILED. THE WORD “SANCTIFIED” DOESN’T REFER TO SALVATION HERE—USED TO DESCRIBE COMMITMENT OF HUSBAND/WIFE.  THE CHRISTIAN SPIRIT OF BELIEVING MATE WILL HELP THE UNBELIEVER TO BE COMMITED TO THE MARRIAGE/FAMILY—IF THEY SHOW THE CHARACTER OF JESUS—A CHRISTIAN IN THE HOME BRINGS THE PRESENCE OF GODS GRACE/PEACE—BLESSING WILL SPILL OVER TO OTHERS AND ITS POSSIBLE OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS CAN COME TO KNOW THE LORD BY THEIR LIFE.

THEN THE CHILDREN ARE “HOLY”—THEY TOO ARE LEGITIMATE & WORTHY  (EX: JEWS THOUGHT CHILDREN OF MIXED MARRIAGE WERE UNCLEAN & NOT WORTHY TO APPROACH GOD.  THIS DOESN’T REFER TO SIN STATUS BUT TO SOCIAL STATUS & STANDING BEFORE GOD.   PAUL WENT ON TO SAY –IF UNBELIEVER WANTS TO LEAVE THE MARRIAGE THE BELIEVER IS NOT BOUND/ENSLAVED—AND ARE FREE TO REMARRY.  GOD CALLS US TO PEACE NOT TO A LIFE OF CONSTANT QUARRELING/HOSTILITY.

THERE ARE SPECIAL NEEDS/PROBLEMS FACED BY THOSE WHO ARE MARRIED TO AN UNBELIEVER THAT THE CHURCH MUST RECOGNIZE AND HELP MEET—THIS IS PRINCIPLE OF BEARING ONE ANOTHER’S BURDENS

1.     THEY FEEL DIFFERENT FROM OTHER CHRISTIANS—MANY OR MOST ACTIVITIES FOCUS ON COUPLES—HE OR SHE MAY NOT WANT TO PARTICIPATE IN SPECIAL PROGRAM-SUNDAY SCHOOL, SMALL GROUP, ETC.

2.     UNBELIEVING MATE MAY BE JEALOUS OF THEIR MATES LOVE FOR THE LORD—THEY CANT UNDERSTAND THEIR COMITMENT AND MAY RESENT THE TIME HE OR SHE DEVOTES TO CHURCH OR MONEY THEY MAY WANT TO GIVE—CHURCH NEEDS TO TRY TO FIND WAYS TO LESSEN THIS FRUSTRATIONS.

THERE ARE MANY ISSUES THAT PROVIDE SERIOUS DILEMA FOR THE BELIEVER—HOW MUCH DO THEY DO AND STILL PROVIDE GOOD WITNESS TO THEIR UNBELIEVING MATE?  BUT IF THE UNBELIEVER CANT TOLERATE FAITH OF SPOUSE—ITS BETTER TO DISSOLVE THE MARRIAGE THAN DEAL WITH FIGHTING, CRITICISM, FRUSTRATION THAT WILL NOT BRING PEACE TO HOME. YOU CANT ASSUME YOU CAN SAVE YOUR MATE.

III.           SPIRITUAL CONTENTMENT (V.17-24)

PAUL MADE IT CLEAR WHEN A PERSON BECOMES CHRISTIAN HE OR SHE SHOULD NOT SEEK TO CHANGE THEIR PLACE IN LIFE---EX. PAUL TOLD ONESIMUS HE WAS TO GO BACK TO HIS MASTER PHILEMON. IF YOU ARE MARRIED STAY MARRIED---IF A SLAVE THEN STAY A SLAVE UNTIL GOD PROVIDES A WAY  OF FREEDOM.  IF A JEW DON’T TRY TO BECOME A NON-JEW (YES SOME WERE TRYING TO DO THAT BY PRESSURE OF THE GRK CULTURE!) IF A GENTILE DON’T TRY TO BE A JEW!  ITS NOT YOUR EXTERNAL CIRCUMSTANCES OR A SPIRITUAL RITUAL THAT MAKES YOU RIGHT WITH GOD—ITS BEING FAITHFUL TO GOD—WALKING WITH HIM ON A DAILY BASIS THAT COUNTS.  NOTHING THAT HAPPENS TO US IN FLESH DETERMINES WHO WE ARE OR WHAT WE DO.  (PROV. 23:7 ‘ AS A MAN THINKS IN HIS HEART, SO IS HE”  HOW WE THINK IS OFTEN AFFECTED BY OUR FAMILY, FRIENDS, PEERS, MEDIA—WE CAN BE LED TO BELIEVE THINGS COULD BE DIFFERENT IF THIS OR THAT WERE DIFFERENT & THEN WE GET DISCONTENT IN THE PRESENT.  BUT ITS NOT ABOUT MARITAL, RACIAL OR ECONOMIC STATUS---IN CHRIST NO ONE HAS ANY GREATER STATUS THAN ANOTHER—OBEDIENCE/COMMITMENT ARE THE KEY—NOT RACE/CULTURE.  BUT DO WE BELIEVE & PRACTICE THIS?   YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE MARRIED TO HAVE A FULFILLING LIFE 7 KNOW THAT GOD LOVES YOU, CARES FOR YOU AND WILL BLESS YOUR LIFE.  STAY IN THE SITUATION GOD HAS CALLED YOU TO. LEAVE SIN YES AND ANYTHING THAT WOULD LEAD US INTO SIN BUT OTHERWISE STAY WHERE YOU ARE TILL GOD MOVES YOU.