Feeling left out?

Thomas misses the moment

It had been a long Sunday. Early in the morning, some of the women disciples had gone to Jesus tomb, to anoint his body, to do what they hadn’t been able to do on Good Friday before he was buried. But they’d come back distraught, saying that the tomb was empty. John and Peter had gone themselves, and come back talking about how angels had said Jesus was alive - but still wondering what was going on. Then Mary Magdalene had burst in, laughing and crying at the same time, and insisting that she’d seen Jesus and talked to him - that he was alive and he would see them soon. All day, she’d been insufferable, wanting to get the party ready, while the others sat around in confusion. ‘He’s alive, we talked this morning!’ ‘Yes, Mary, we know (poor girl, she’s a bit upset…)’ One person grinning and going on about Jesus being alive, the others getting increasingly fed up.

Eventually it got a bit much for Thomas, and he went out to get the chips. It was a big order, so it took a while. And when he got back, all he got was ‘Oh Thomas, you just missed him. Jesus was here, and he’s given us his Holy Spirit to carry on what he started. Apparently we’ve got the authority to forgive sins now, and all that kind of thing. Shame you missed him, really. Never mind, did you get the mushy peas?

Then all week, it was everyone else grinning and going on about Jesus being alive, and just Thomas getting increasingly fed up. In the end, he bursts out, ‘Look, I’d love him to be alive just as much as you would. I know you all had some amazing vision or experience or something, and I’d love to believe it’s all real, but I wasn’t there. I need to touch him. To see the wounds, to know he’s real. I’d love to believe, but I need to know.’

Feeling left out?

Are there times when you feel that you’ve missed out? It can be all sorts of things, when your friends are laughing about something that’s happened, and you can’t see quite what’s so funny - ‘Oh, you had to be there.’ Or it can be that you feel you’ve missed out on something that God has done. You have a sense that other people have met him in a way that you haven’t. Maybe there are people you know whose faith seems to bring them to life in a way you’d love to experience yourself. Perhaps you’re not even sure that you are a Christian, because it doesn’t feel real to you that Jesus is alive. You’d love to believe, but you need to know.

Don’t say you believe what you don’t. Sometimes it’s a good thing to choose to live for God as though you’re more certain than you are - and if you do it, you’ll often be surprised to find that your faith catches up with your actions. But don’t pretend to be more certain than you know you are. A lot of the darker side of religion comes about when people get too definite about what they believe and go beyond what they know for themselves to be true. So don’t pretend.

Thomas didn’t pretend. He had a track record. Do you remember when you were at school, and the teacher ‘explained’ something, and you and half the class sat there trying to look intelligent but not understanding a word of it? Do you remember how it felt when one person was brave and honest enough to speak up, ‘Miss, I don’t understand. Could you explain it again, please? Well, Thomas was that kid in the class. At the last Supper, when Jesus talked about how he was going ahead of the disciples to prepare a way to his Father’s house, it was Thomas who spoke up, ‘Lord, we don’t know where you’re going, so how can we know the way to go?’ That’s what prompted the wonderful answer, ‘I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life’ - but it took Thomas’ courage to speak up and ask the question. If you keep on asking the question until you have an answer that satisfies you at least for now, you will understand better and so one day will others.

Jesus makes the moment

Of course, Thomas might have missed the chance to see Jesus, but Jesus won’t miss the chance to see Thomas. In fact, Jesus didn’t miss the chance to see Thomas the first time around. A week later, he’s there again, and this time Thomas is in the room.

Smiling, Jesus holds out his hands for Thomas to touch. He knows what Thomas said, and he knows what Thomas needs.

And Thomas finds that he doesn’t need what he thought he needed. He doesn’t need proof. He just needs to in the room with Jesus.

What do you need from God to take the next step in your faith? Tell him, just like Thomas spoke out - but be ready for him to surprise you with a different way to meet you, in a way you didn’t expect. And, like Thomas, you might find out that you don’t need all the evidence or explanation that you thought you did.

Catching up - and going beyond

Thomas didn’t hang around. He fell to his knees and worshipped. Maybe the reason he’d found it hard to believe was because he saw more deeply than the others - if Jesus was alive it meant more than that he was back. It meant that he was God. He’s the first person truly to worship the risen Jesus.

If you’re honest with God about your questions and your doubts, he’s not going to get cross and refuse to talk to you. Often, like with Thomas, living with questions is a sign of a deeper understanding, and it can lead to a deeper and stronger faith and friendship with Jesus than anything you’ll find just by believing what others tell you.

So talk to God in prayer - even if you’re not sure he’s there to listen - about what you need to be able to worship and to follow Jesus more fully. Give Jesus the opportunities to show up and meet with you. And when you do meet him - when you do know that it’s true, just worship and then follow him. You’ll find more truth than you’ve begun to imagine.

Alleluia! Christ is risen!