SUMMARY

This morning we are going to jump back into the series that we have been doing on what it means to be a biblical member of the church.

We have been going through a book written by Thom S. Rainer called, “I Am A Church Member: Discovering the Attitude that Makes the Difference.”

Because of the ways in which we are shaped by the culture around us, if we are not careful, we can allow the way we think and operate in the world to shape how we think and operate in the church.

Thom Rainer seeks to help us discover the truth about what it means to be a part of the body of Christ.

The book has 6 chapters, and we have already discussed the first 4 in previous sermons.

As a recap:

Chapter 1: I Will Be a Functioning Church Member

Some wrongly think of church like a country club — pay your dues, and you get the perks/get served.

Paul teaches us in 1 Corinthians 12 that the church is like a body that works together.

Each individual part of the body is important and essential to the health and well-being of the body as a whole.

Chapter 2: I Will Be a Unifying Church Member

Though it is easier at times to criticize, condemn, and complain, we must strive for what builds unity and oneness.

Jesus said the world would know His disciples by their love and care for one another.

We must strive for unity, as we work together to build God’s kingdom.

Chapter 3: I Will Not Let My Church Be about My Preferences and Desires

If we view church membership like a country club, then we are focused on what we get out of it.

Jesus showed us, by his teaching and his example, that being a member of His church means serving.

Our focus is not on what we can get, but what we can give.

We willingly give up our rights for the benefit of the church as a whole.

Chapter 4: I Will Be a Praying Member (I Will Pray for My Church Leaders)

Jesus lived every aspect of his life in faithfulness to God, including his prayer life, where He showed us His trust and dependance on God.

Before dying and leaving this world, he prayed for his disciples, as well as all future disciples.

As followers of Christ, we must follow his example and be a praying people.

So far in this series we have been looking at how we as individuals can strive to be healthy and biblical members of the church.

Today we will see the importance of leading our families to be healthy church members.

The title of this chapter in Rainer’s book is called…

I Will Lead My Family to Be Healthy Church Members

We want to have a healthy, thriving, and growing church.

In order to do that, each one of us needs to work towards being a healthy church member.

That includes what we’ve learned already. Each one of us needs to be:

Functioning

We all play a vital role in the church.

Unifying

We must work towards the same goals, the same mission.

Servant-Focused

It’s not about our preferences, but what is best for the whole body.

Praying

We need to be praying for God’s glory, and for one another.

When we are all doing our part to be healthy members, we will become a healthy church.

But we cannot stop there. We must be encouraging our families to be healthy members as well, modeling and teaching them these principles.

For those of us who are married/have children, this means modeling and leading them to be healthy church members.

Even if you are not married/do not have children, you have a role to play in mentoring/shaping others to become healthy church members.

Either way, we must faithfully lead others, including the next generation, to be healthy church members, for the benefit of the future health of the church.

Our concern for the health of Christ’s church must extend beyond our lives.

Paul, writing to the Ephesian church teaches them about the idea of…

Church and Family

When the church is functioning well, it is like a family.

There are different generations, and different roles, and they all benefit from one another.

When families are functioning well, they are like the church.

Different generations, roles, but beneficial to one another.

We see this principle laid out for us in Ephesians 5:22-6:4.

Ephesians 5:22–24 ESV

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

In God’s design, He has placed men as the spiritual leaders over the home.

Wives are to submit to the leadership of a godly husband, in the same way that the church submits to Christ as its head.

What does a godly husband look like???

Paul goes on…

Ephesians 5:25–27 ESV

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

Men, we look to Christ as our example.

Christ came not to be served, but to serve.

He died in our place.

He gave up His rights, to save us.

He willingly surrendered his life, so that we could have new life.

This is what godly husbands do.

We serve our wives; we give up our rights and desires to seek their benefit and growth in the Lord.

Paul continues…

Ephesians 5:28–31 ESV

In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

We are members of Christ’s body through His Spirit, therefore He leads, guides, blesses, and protects us.

So it should be in marriage.

Because we have been united, and are now one, we live to benefit our “other half”. They are a part of us.

Ephesians 5:32–33 ESV

This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Marriage is a profound example of the church’s relationship with Christ.

Their is to be unity, oneness in purpose, sacrifice, service, because we are one. We are on the same team.

Next Paul shifts the focus to the relationship with children...

Ephesians 6:1–4 ESV

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Children that dwell in a godly home should obey their parents, since they are leading them down the path of righteousness.

Those children who obey their parents will be blessed.

Fathers are to lead the way in raising their children according to God’s pattern and design.

Through this beautiful picture that Paul paints for us, we see that the family is meant to be a picture of the church and her relationship with Christ.

Our marriages, and our families should visibly demonstrate God’s love for His people, and His people’s devotion to Him.

We all fall short of this standard, but we need to be striving to lead our families to reflect the beauty of the gospel.

Today we are going to see how we do this in three different ways:

First, we can lead our families to be healthy church members by…

Praying Together as a Family for the Church

A few weeks ago, we saw the importance of being a praying member of the church.

We took a closer look at the High Priestly prayer that Jesus prayed for His disciples, hours before His death.

As we looked at Jesus’s prayer, we saw 4 important areas for us to be praying for.

I want us to look at those again briefly, so that we can see how we can lead our families to faithfully pray for the church.

Following Jesus’s example, we learned to:

Pray For God to Be Glorified in our lives

Jesus lived every aspect of His life to the glory of God. His desire was that God would get the glory.

Following Jesus’s example, we ought to be praying for God to be glorified in our words, thoughts, and actions.

We ought also to be leading our families to pray this way as well.

We ought to be leading our families to be praying for God to be glorified in our own lives, as well as praying for God to be glorified in the lives of others in our church.

As we do, we are helping them to understand that God’s glory is greater than any persons preferences or desires.

The next principle we learned from Jesus’ prayer was to…

Pray For God’s Word To Be Priority

Jesus knew that there was transforming power in God’s Word. That is why when He spoke with others, he taught and instructed them in God’s Word.

God’s true children are those who KNOW, BELIEVE, and OBEY God’s Word.

We ought to be leading our families to KNOW, BELIEVE and OBEY God’s Word as well.

As we do, we are helping them to see God’s Word as authoritative, and instructive for us, rather than depending on our thoughts and emotions.

We should be teaching our families the importance of praying for God’s Word to transform our lives, as well as the lives of others in the church.

The third principle we learned from Jesus’ prayer was to…

Pray For God’s Help

Jesus knew that after he left there was going to be a void, so he prayed that God would keep his disciples, protect them from the evil one, and sanctify them in the truth.

Through the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives, Jesus’s prayer is being answered!

We ought to be striving in prayer, seeking God’s help, leading our families to seek God’s help, as well as praying for God to help others in our church.

As we do, they are learning to depend and trust on God.

The final principle we learned from Jesus’ prayer was to…

Pray For Unity in Mission and Purpose

Jesus knew that if the church is going to be successful, they need to be unified in their mission and purpose, so he prays that they will be one, even as He and the Father are one.

As God’s children, we should be praying and striving for unity in the church.

We need to be emphasizing this to our families as well.

By doing this we are teaching them that it isn’t our goals or ideas that are most important, but the mission of God.

As we grow in these areas of prayer, and lead our families to pray for these things, we are raising up healthy church members in our own households, whose greatest concerns are not what’s in it for them, but what is best for the church.

And in this area of prayer in particular, we are reminding ourselves that we need God… both in our lives personally, as well as in our church as a whole.

WORD TO THOSE WITH NO SPOUSE/CHILDREN

If you are not married, or do not have children, this still applies to you. You can still be leading others IN the church to be praying FOR the church.

Though you may not have a spouse or children to teach and lead, each one of you does have influence.

Maybe you’re involved in ministry in this church in some capacity, or simply have relationships with others here in this church… There are people watching you, and looking up to you.

Rather than criticizing, condemning, and complaining about people or circumstances in the church, we can choose to think the best, give the benefit of the doubt, and pray for others, and lift them before God.

Then we can be an example by leading others to pray rather than complain.

In the book, Thom Rainer shares about Bob, who was a mentor to him.

Bob took me under his wing. When I would begin to get angry, frustrated, or discouraged about something at the church, he would talk to me. He would explain that no church is perfect. No pastor is perfect. No church member is perfect. And he would gently remind me that I was not close to perfect either.

He told me that we were to find joy in serving the church and those in the church. We were not a part of the church to see what we could get out of it. We were a part of the church to serve and care for others. Our perspective should always be on giving, not receiving. And if someone did something that disappointed or frustrated us, that was God’s way of telling us to pray for that person.

APPLICATION

I want you to think for a moment about what your tendency is when you think or talk to people or circumstances in this church.

Do you tend to think positively… OR… do you tend to think negatively?

Do you think the best of people in the church… OR… do you tend to criticize them without knowing the factors that led to what they did or said?

Do you give others the benefit of the doubt… OR… are you quick to condemn them when they did something that offended you?

Do you pray for others when they come to your mind to a conversation… OR… are you quick to complain about them?

I confess that I struggle to have a positive attitude at times.

Too often, I am quick to criticize, condemn, and complain.

But as we are striving for a healthy, unified church, we must learn to pray in moments where we feel tempted to vent our thoughts.

We must do the same thing when we are leading our families, or others in the church. Rather than causing division and quarreling, we must be diligent to pray for one another.

Maybe God is bringing that person to mind so that you can pray specifically for them, and maybe even reach out and be a source of encouragement to them.

There are times for loving, gentle confrontation as well if sin is happening, but we must remember that we are on the same team… we are a part of the same body… and we must care for one another, and do what’s best for the body as a whole.

SUMMARY

We can lead our families to be healthy church members by:

Praying together as a family for the church

Second, we can lead our families to be healthy church members by…

Worshipping Together as a Family

As we think about the storyline of Scripture, the family household and structure has always been the means that God has desired to use to bring people into deeper relationship and fellowship with Him.

Let’s look at a few examples of this.

ABRAHAM

After God called Abraham and promised to bless him, he met with him prior to going and destroying Sodom and Gomorrah.

In Genesis 18:17-19 we read…

Genesis 18:17–19 ESV

The Lord said, “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do, seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised him.”

Through Abraham as the godly leader of the household, his children would come tot know and worship God.

MOSES

When God gave the Israelites the law, He commanded them to teach it to their chidlren.

Deuteronomy 6:4–7 ESV

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

Each household was to faithfully teach their children about God, and instruct them to obey Him and His Word.

JOSHUA

Joshua faithfully followed this example after leading the Israelites over into the Promised Land. God had commanded them to remain faithful to Him in order that He might bless them.

So Joshua calls on the people to decide who they will serve.

But Joshua declares in Joshua 24:15

Joshua 24:15 ESV

And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

Joshua was going to be a faithful example to his household in faithfully serving the God who had called them, led them, and fulfilled all His promises to them.

IN THE NT

As we read earlier in Ephesians, the family is to be a place where we learn about God and obedience to Him.

Husbands are commanded to lead their wives as Christ lead the church, wives are to submit as the church submits to Christ, and in Ephesians 6:4 we read…

Ephesians 6:4 ESV

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

The family is supposed to be the primary place where we come to know God, believe in Him, and obey Him.

This has been God’s primary method for discipleship since the beginning.

Dr. David Chancey talks about the importance a father plays in the discipleship of the family in an article. In the article he shares a few statistics I want to share with you this morning…

STATISTICS

A few years ago, Promise Keepers and Baptist Press collected data through a survey showing the importance a father plays in the future of their children’s lives.

If a father does not go to church, even if his wife does, only about 2% will become a regular worshipper.

If a father does go regularly, regardless of what the mother does, between two-thirds and three-quarters of their children will attend as adults.

STATISTICS

Another survey found that if a child is the first person in a household to become a Christian, there is a 3.5% probability everyone else in the household will follow. If the mother is the first to become a Christian, there is a 17% probability everyone else in the household will follow. However, when the father is first, there is a 93% probability everyone else in the household will follow.

APPLICATION

I am very encouraged each and every Sunday to see so many families dedicated to coming to church together!

I pray that God will continue to protect and bless our families as we seek to follow His Word and be faithful to follow Him.

But I also know that if you are like me, there is room to grow in how we are leading our children and families to being more committed to God and His Word.

How are you intentionally leading your family in worship? How are you helping your family grow spiritually?

It is not the church’s responsibility! It is not the Christian school’s responsibility! IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY!!!

As parents, and for us men in particular, it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to personally invest in the spiritual growth of your children.

I realize there are some families in our church where the fathers are absent. Mothers, this puts a lot of pressure on you, but we must be intentional to diligently teach our children, and lead our families to follow the Lord!

There are 2 simple ways that you can do this:

Two Simple Ways to Lead Your Family Spiritually

Go to church /church functions together consistently

Your children need to see your commitment to church.

As they come regularly they are impacted by the Word of God and others.

As they see your commitment, they are more likely to model it.

Practice family worship at home consistently

Your chidlren need to see that church is not just a Sunday thing, but a part of your everyday life.

HOW DO YOU PRACTICALLY DO THIS???

Don Whitney gives a simple outline in his book, “Family Worship”.

Simply read, pray, and sing.

Read the Bible.

You don’t have to prepare anything, just simply go through the Bible. You don’t need to read a lot, just a portion that you can spend a little bit of time discussing.

Pray

Whether one person prays, or you take prayer requests doesn’t matter. How you choose to do it is not the point, but that you do it.

Sing

Maybe you sing along to music, or play it yourself, or just sing without music. This is an important part of worship.

This doesn’t need to be long, only 10 minutes, but the greatest factor is consistency.

It is best to find a time of day you already are together and add it then. Maybe that’s in the morning, after dinner, or before bedtime.

The point is that it is flexible to what works best for you and your family.

If you’re married, talk about it as a couple and decide what will work best for your family, and commit to being as consistent as you can. Don’t get discouraged when it doesn’t always happen, just keep going.

If you’re a single parent, find someone you trust who can keep you accountable, and will ask if you’re keeping up with it.

God will bless us as we follow His pattern for leading our families to know and worship Him!

SUMMARY

As we seek to be a healthy church, we must lead our families to be healthy church members. We do that by:

Praying Together as a Family for the Church

Worshipping Together as a Family

Third, we can lead our families to be healthy church members by…

Falling Deeply in Love with the Bride of Christ

The whole idea behind us seeking to be biblical church members has to be understood through the lens that the church is Christ’s bride.

Jesus came to save His bride, to call her out of the world, to cleanse her, redeem her, bless, strengthen, and empower her, so that one day the church of Jesus Christ will be in the pure, holy presence of their Saviour to give Him the worship He deserves!

Christ loves the church, and therefore we should too.

Peter says in…

1 Peter 4:8 ESV

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.

We must learn not to merely put up with Christ’s church, or just kind of like it, but truly love it the way He does.

We are to love the church with unconditional love.

This is not always easy! It means that we choose to love even when others don’t do what we think they should.

But when we truly love someone, we can overlook their faults and flaws, because we have a greater purpose in our lives than ourselves.

Thom Rainer says…

If our family gets discouraged or discontent in our church, we will remind ourselves that unconditional love is not always easy. But we will also remind ourselves that unconditional love has been demonstrated perfectly for us. His name is Jesus. He loves us, sins and all, so much that He died on a cross for us.

As we look to Jesus as our example, we must strive to become like Him, and lead our families to become like Him as well.

The Fifth Pledge

I am a church member.

I will lead my family to be good members of this church as well. We will pray together for our church. We will worship together in our church. We will serve toether in our church. And we will ask Christ to help us fall deeper in love with this church becase He gave His life for her.

________________________________________

Sign and Date

Christ has shown such great love for us. Each and every one of us is the object of his affection and love. May it be our joy to love one another well, and lead our families to love the church well, so that Christ’s love may be seen in us.

Let’s pray.

Questions for Study

How does the biblical teaching of the log and the speck in Matthew 7 apply to church membership?

What is the relationship of our immediate families and the church family? What biblical texts make this connection?

What is the role of a believing spouse to an unbelieving spouse? How does that manifest itself in church membership?

Why is unconditional love such a challenge, especially as it applies to church membership?

How is Christ’s death on the cross an example for us as church members relating to one another?