Grow Up: Take Personal Responsibility

Introduction: I am going to preach a sermon today about people taking personal responsibility. How many of you know that I am not afraid to preach on difficult subject matters? Please understand that I am NOTpreaching this sermon because I have a vendetta, nor I am trying to attack anyone. No, I believe that it is necessary for God’s people to Grow Up and to become mature followers of Jesus Christ.

2 Timothy 3:16-17 reminds us,

16 All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, 17that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.

Underline the word “complete” in that verse. This word means “whole” or “mature”.

My goal in this message is to challenge all of us (including me – especially me) to Grow Up. I have preached this message to myself several times before presenting it to you this morning.

Here is what Scripture tells us about Growing Up:

· Ephesians 4:15-16 - 15but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ—16 from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.

· 1 Peter 2:2 - as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby,

· 2 Peter 3:18 - but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and forever. Amen.

I want us to consider five areas where I believe we must seek to grow up in, and they are:

I. Grow up in your Marriage – Matthew 19:4-5

4 And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

I want to ask you an important question: Do you view your spouse as a gift from God? How would you answer this question? It is a very telling question.

On a scale between 1 and 10, 1 being poor, and 10 being great, how would you rate your marriage?

Marriage is not a contact; it is a covenant. Surrender to your marriage. You entered your marriage with your eyes wide open. You stood before family and friends, and you made a covenant agreement between yourself and your spouse until death due you part. Honor your vows.

Four ways to Grow Up in your marriage. They are:

1. Learn to Forgive – Ephesians 4:32

32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

One of the greatest pieces of advice I have ever heard on marriage was shared by the late Ruth Graham who said, “Marriage is the union of two forgivers.”

You must learn to forgive repeatedly.

Steve Stephens has written, “A marriage is like a dance. No matter how careful you are, periodically you’re going to step on your partner’s feet.”

Don’t hold grudges against one another. That doesn’t build your marriage, it tears it down. The Apostle Paul wrote that love “is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs.” (1 Corinthians 13:5). The Amplified Bible translates it, “It takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].”

2. Rock the Roles –

The best marriages do not focus on roles, but on making life easier for one another. Are there dirty dishes? – get em’ done. Does the carpet need vacuumed? – move that vacuum. Are there clothes that need to be folded? Fold those clothes. Is the house messy? Pick things up. Is it time for a meal? Help.

I have no doubt that by the end of the day that everyone is tired. Best marriage practices don’t focus on roles but on helping at the moment of need.

Just do it! That ought to be the motto of great marriages and not some sports corporation.

Rock the Roles and you will develop a great marriage.

3. Deal with Bitterness – Hebrews 12:15

15 looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled;

Watch out for bitterness. It is a cancerous root that will eat away at your marriage. Deal with bitterness right away. Stop rehearsing and sharing with others all the wrong that you spouse has done to you. Talk only to God! I would suggest that we go back to our first point – We must learn to forgive.

People will hurt you (we live in a fallen world), and many times people closest to you (spouse, children, family, friends) will hurt you the most. You can choose to allow bitterness to eat away your soul, or you can forgive and love the broken.

It’s hard to be bitter at the person you are kissing! Have you heard the expression: Make love not war? That statement takes on a whole other meaning in this context.

4. Focus in on Strengths

Focus on your spouse’s strength and not on their weaknesses. Strengths are what builds a good foundation. To focus on weaknesses tears down or erode the foundation.

You married your spouse because you were drawn to their differences, so why not celebrate them now. Don’t try to conform your spouse into your image. They are to be conformed to the image of Christ. Christ is perfect – you are not. Do you really want a carbon copy of yourself, or would you like to have someone who has the character of Christ?

Kind words can go a long way. Stop being critical of one another. Praise the other person daily. Thank them for what they are doing. Love is a verb, so show them you are thankful for what they do for you – use your words, write a note, be expressive.

II. Grow up in your Parenting – Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.

I hope that you know that children are a gift from God (Psalm 127:3 - Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward). In Bible days a man’s wealth was not in his possessions, but in his children. If you have children, you are a RICH person.

· Job had ten sons and daughters.

· Jacob had twelve sons!

· Gideon had 70 sons.

· Rehoboam had 28 sons and 60 daughters (88 children).

Debbie’s Dad was one of 12 children.

Yes, children are a wonderful gift from God.

What is the goal of parenting? To raise up godly offspring (Malachi 2:15).

Are you parenting your children? Parenting is a full-time job. What kind of a time investment are you going to make in your children’s lives? Are you going to be a 2-minute dad, or a 4-minute mother?

George Barna reports that “A typical parent spends less than 1 hour per week in meaningful interaction with each child.”

Are you going to be a responsible parent, or are you going to push off your responsibility upon the other parent because you feel overwhelmed, or as if you are the only parent that does anything?

Here is what you need to do as a parent:

· Out serve the other parent and don’t keep records.

· Do more than what is required of you.

· Take care of your children. Meet their needs.

· Let your children see Jesus in you.

· Pray with your kids.

· Disciple your children.

Someone has written, “Parents should work together as efficiently as two bookends.”

Have you heard the statement: Children having children? Well, there are some of you that act like children, and this leaves your children puzzled. Your children need parents, not immature children trying to raise them.

Here is my suggestion for you today – Grow Up!

III. Grow up in your Decisions – Proverbs 3:5-6

5 Trust in the Lordwith all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

Some people will not like what I am about to share in this third point, but again, I share it because I do not believe that people are making decisions based on Scripture, godly counsel, or the guidance of the Holy Spirit. They are making decisions based on knee jerk reactions, or what their friends are doing. And many of these people hide behind the “God Card”. They say, “God told me to do this.” Stop using the “God Card” when God has not spoken.

God gave us a free will, but we are not to use our free will as a license to do whatever we want (see Galatians 5:13). Our desire should be to do God’s will. Not my will but God’s will be done. Scripture tells us in 1 Corinthians 10:31,

Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

Two Areas of Decisions

A. Leaving the Church – Hebrews 10:25

25 not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.

In recent months I have had several people who talked to me about leaving SLBC to attend another church. As I spoke to them, I asked them the questions: Where did you seek spiritual guidance before you made this decision? None of them were able to tell me anyone that they sat down with and talked with before they decided to leave the church.

Here are a few of the responses that I received from people:

1. We have conflict with people in the church and we can’t resolve it, therefore, we are leaving the church.

Christian people are NOT to run away from spiritual conflict. We are to learn how to deal with people whom we may not be able to get along with (see Matthew 5:21-26; 18:15-20).

Stop running away!

2. My wife is not being feed at SLBC; therefore, we are leaving the church.

You can’t blame the church (I.e., the Pastor) for not feeding you if you are NOT in church. You cannot blame the church for not feeding you when you have a personal responsibility for feeding yourself.

Only infants need to be spoon-fed. When we grow up, we feed ourselves!

Are you feeding yourself! It’s a sign of spiritual maturity.

3. Become a church member, and then within a few months walk away.

Where is God in that decision? How is it that God told you to join a church, and two months later you walk away from that church? Is that of the Holy Spirit? Do you really believe that God works that way? I don’t.

4. I just want a change. I want to try out other churches.

Churches exits as a place where you find community. Christianity is done better in community. We were never meant to jump from church-to-church. Scripture tells us to “rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving.” (Colossians 2:7)We are to plant ourselves deep. And surely the church was never to be looked upon as a smorgasbord.

I once received a phone call at the church and the caller asked me the following question: What does your church have to offer my family? That’s consumerism! That is the wrong question. Nowhere in the Bible do we ever see anything like that question. No, instead we find churches with people who are busy serving. Seeking to make an eternal difference.

God equipped every church with people and those people all had spiritual gifts, and they used those gifts to serve one another (1 Corinthians 12-14; Romans 12:4-8). They didn’t hop from church to church.

There is a second area where I see people need to grow up in the area of decision making, and it is in the area of…

B. Church Discipleship – Ephesians 4:11-13

11 And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, 12 for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, 13till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ;

There are many of you in church each week that attend Sunday worship, but you walk out the door and do not attend our discipleship classes (Sunday school). I do not believe that that is a good decision. Here is what some people say,

· I don’t need Sunday school. Oh, so, you have arrived?

· I don’t like the topic. So, you are an expert?

· I don’t like the people. Wow! Really? You don’t like God’s people?

There are some of you that have a rebellious streak in you. You walk out the door of the church and you go off and do your own thing. That’s mature, isn’t it?

Now is the time for all of God’s people to Grow Up.

IV. Grow up in your Faith – Jude 20

But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit,

A. Are you reading your Bible? Regularly?

Is God speaking to you? What have you heard from God recently? How has God spoken to you through His word?

While on vacation with my family I would share a Word from the Lord every morning. I wanted my family – our kids and our grandchildren to have some Scripture to think about every day. I would pick a verse and I would share it aloud. Even at times through the day I would remind us of what our Word from the Lord was that day. Here are four of the verses I used:

· 1 Corinthians 15:58 - Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.

· Philippians 1:6 - being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;

· Philippians 4:4 - Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!

· Galatians 6:9 - And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. 10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.

And each day as we traveled Debbie, and I open our YouVersion Bible App and we would listen to our Scripture reading for the day. We kept God’s word before us.

Anemic Christians

There are a lot of anemic Christians (The anemic defined means: lack of color, spirit, or vitality). Is it possible that Christianity is dull to you because Scripture hasn’t become exciting to you?

How to Read your Bible

1. You have got to have a place in the Bible where you are reading – Old Testament, New Testament.

2. You have got to have a regular time to read God’s word – A.M. or P.M.

3. You have got to have a place where you read God’s word – Bedroom, kitchen table, at work. For me, it’s in my office.

B. Are you praying? Who and what is on your prayer list?

· Pray for your spouse.

· Pray for your children.

· Pray for your family.

· Pray for your Pastor.

· Pray for your Church.

· Pray for your Schools.

· Pray for your State.

· Pray for your Nation.

· Pray for your political leaders.

· Pray for missionaries.

Scripture tells us,

· Philippians 4:6 – Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God;

· 1 Thessalonians 5:17 - Pray without ceasing.

· Luke 18:1 - Men always ought to pray and not lose heart.

R.A. Torry wrote, “When you feel least like praying is the time when you must need to pray.”

C. Are you serving?

The BEST way to get your eyes off yourself is to serve others. Some people like to be served, while others enjoy serving. I might also mention that there are some people who have the spiritual gift of serving. They are always busy doing things around the church. They don’t wait – they are doers!

I thank God for those who are willing to serve. Scripture tells us,

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give His life a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:45)

V. Grow up in your Attitudes – Philippians 2:5

Let this mind (attitude) be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.

In the Gospel of Matthew, I preached a sermon about attitudes from the Sermon on the Mount. I called it, The Altitudes of Attitudes. I said then, and I say it again, your attitude will determine your altitude.

Some of you have bad attitudes. And the results are that you live on an earthly plain. Instead of living above your circumstances you are living under them. That is NOT where God wants you to live.

William James penned, “People can alter their lives by altering their attitudes.”

What are the steps for a better attitude? Allow me to share with you the following three steps:

1. Humility – contrary to your own opinion you are not better than anyone else (see Romans 12:3). We all are a part of the human race.

2. Dependence – I trust Jesus Christ alone. I know that I will never have a good attitude if my mind is not stayed on Christ.

The quickest way to go down is to not be looking up. Scripture reminds us,

Hebrews 12:2 - looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

3. Sacrifice – Matthew 16:24-26

24 Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. 25 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. 26For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?

The best attitude we can possess is that I am not my own, for I was bought with a price (1 Corinthians 6:20). I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; (Philippians 2:20). Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Christ wants all of us – 99% is not enough. We must lay all on the altar - total sacrifice.

Conclusion: Will we GROW UP and will we Take Personal Responsibility in the following five areas?

1. Will we Grow Up in our Marriage? Will we take personal responsibility to make our marriage great?

Learn to Forgive – Rock the Roles – Deal with Bitterness – Focus in on Strengths.

2. Will we Grow Up in our Parenting? Will we RAISE our children? Will we take personal responsibility?

Seek to produce godly offspring – Spend time with your children – recognize your wealth.

3. Will we Grow Up in our Decisions? Will we stop the knee jerk reactions, and rely on Scripture, godly counsel, and the Holy Spirit?

Stop using the God Card – Plant yourself in the Church – No excuses – Attend Discipleship Classes.

4. Will we Grow Up in the Faith?

Read the Bible – Pray – Serve Others

5. Will we Grow Up in our Attitudes? Your attitude will determine your altitude.

Humility – Dependance - Sacrifice