God's Solution to Conflict

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Philippians 4:1–9 NIV
1 Therefore, my brothers and sisters, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord in this way, dear friends! 2 I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord. 3 Yes, and I ask you, my true companion, help these women since they have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my co-workers, whose names are in the book of life. 4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
"God's solution to conflict in the church is grace and reconciliation for the sake of the gospel"
Back in January of 2020 I was taking a hike along a cliff trail south of San Francisco. I was stressed out and needed to clear my head.
After a relaxing stop for prayer and a beautiful view I started my final descent down to the end of the trail. I was completely alone.
All of a sudden my heart began to flutter and then beat the fastest I’ve ever felt it. I began to panic because I’d never felt anything like this before. I quickly set my apple watch to do an EKG and saw that my heart rate was at around 240 beats per minute.
I began to look around for people, but I couldn’t find anyone. I tried calling 911 but I had zero cell service. All I could do was fall to the ground and prop myself up against the railing.
At this point, I thought I was about to die. My heart rate wouldn’t drop and I was completely alone.
But then, this couple passed the corner and came into my view. I began to call out to them. Pleading with them to help me. They were very suspicious and kept walking. Understandable seeing as San Francisco is one of the most dangerous places in the country.
I, kept pleading with them that I needed help and that something was wrong with my heart.
The man slowed down a little bit just after passing me and slowly approached me. He reached down and felt my heart rate and yelled at his girl friend to call 911. Thankfully, they helped me and an ambulance came and got me.
But, I had to beg and plead with them to help me because they weren’t sure if I was trustworthy.
This section of scripture begins with a plea that is just as urgent as my plea to that couple was.
Paul uses a word in the original language that sets a sort of “life and death” mood.
His plea isn’t necessarily for himself, but its for His readers. Two specific women but also the entire church.
Paul loves these people. Look at how he addresses them:
Philippians 4:1 NIV
1 Therefore, my brothers and sisters, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord in this way, dear friends!
This isn’t a life or death plea for Paul, but Paul a plea attempting to lift them up from this conflict that could potentially wreck their faith and their community.
Paul was so bold, that he called out, by name, those who were in conflict.
So, I’m gonna be bold too. Because I love you...
The reason I think that God has placed this scripture in front of us right now is because there are many of you, right now, who are frustrated at each other and are in conflict.
Siblings, Exes, Friends, even I am in the midst of a conflict with some in the church.
I don’t want you to think of someone else when I say this. I want you to think of yourself. Where are you?
Philippians 4:2 NIV
2 I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord.
Same Mind?
Paul is talking about the Mind of Jesus!
Not a mind focused on self.
But, he did this to me. Well, she said that about me. I don’t like them. Blah blah blah.
Kick that mind to the curb. STOP IT!
This is the mind we need.
Philippians 2:2–5 NIV
2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. 5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
Look, some of you have been so selfish!
Pastor Caleb has been so selfish!
Self centeredness has led some of you to say some terrible things to each other or about each other.
While we should have been doing whatever we can to be at peace and care for each other, we’ve been bickering, cussing, and gossiping.
Jesus has been so kind to us while we’ve been extremely cruel to each other.
So, not everyone has been like this, but those of us who haven’t been in conflict… How have you helped the conflicts? What kind of a friend have you been? What kind of a sibling have you been?
Look at what Paul says,
Philippians 4:3a (NIV)
3 Yes, and I ask you, my true companion, help these women...
Paul instructs for their to be attempts to help bring peace.
Have your interactions with those in conflict helped or hurt the conflict?
Do you gossip to one of them and say, “Hey, so and so said this about you...”
“Can you believe she did that to you!?”
Guys, that doesn’t help bring peace!
Instead, we should be reminding each other about what is at stake if we can’t agree!
Philippians 4:3 (NIV)
3 Yes, and I ask you, my true companion, help these women since they have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my co-workers, whose names are in the book of life.
Guys, when we fight and fuel conflict among those here we are opposing what the gospel is!
The gospel is the good news of how a holy God pursued peace and harmony with sinful humans who were His enemies!
Euodia and Syntyche used to labor in order to spread this good news and now their actions were completely opposed to the message they claimed to believe and share!
Peace and reconciliation are at the center of the Christian message.
When Christians entertain conflict in the church, and don’t seek peace with one another, their actions communicate a message that is the opposite of the gospel.
Guys... the one person who had every reason to be mad at you and do harm towards you decided to come to you and die for you and what you did to cause His hurt, just so y’all could be at peace.
And here we are, getting ticked off at each other for stupid little petty things.
Okay. I’m done with confrontation.
Let me give you an action plan.
Philippians 4:4 NIV
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
Philippians 4:5 NIV
5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
Philippians 4:6 NIV
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:7 NIV
7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:8 NIV
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Philippians 4:9 NIV
9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
I want to remind you of what God did with our conflict.
He sent Jesus
Grow Group Questions
How often do have conflict with others?
Conflict = Arguments, disagreements, grudges, and anything that causes damage to relationships.
Do you have any bad feelings or anger towards another person because of something that happened?
Do you find it hard to let go of that anger and hurt?
Have you ever had a conflict or fight end well?
This could mean you are closer to that person now or you were able to forgive and be forgiven.
Why do you think conflict with your family is more damaging that conflict with friends?
Considering the last question… Why is unresolved conflict in youth group more damaging than conflict at school?
REMEMBER: Youth Group is your church family!
Did God have conflict with us before He sent Jesus to earth?
If yes, what was that conflict?
If yes, what was God’s answer to His conflict with us?
How does Jesus influence how we should handle conflict?
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