Treachery in the Family
Our Imperfect Family • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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Text: Malachi 2.14-17
The prophet of God is accusing the priests of Israel of Treachery. That is the intentional betrayal of an individual.
Understand the major accusation of the Prophet of God. You have abandoned your covenant. You have abandoned your covenant therefore you are untrustworthy in everything. You can’t be trusted with any covenant if you can’t keep the one that you have with God.
It was a covenant of faith.
It was placing your faith in a covenant that God did all the work for. All you had to do was trust in the God of Heaven and he was going to complete his end and bless you in the process but you refused to walk in the Fear of God.
It was a covenant of grace.
God was making it possible for you to walk in his light and in obedience to God. You were given the blessings that flowed from your Father Abraham. But generation after generation when chasing the gods of the pagans and cheating on the God of heaven with idols made of wood and stone.
This is God’s estimation as delivered by Malachi...
If you can’t be trusted in this heavenly covenant if you would deal treacherously with God you will deal treacherously with your marriage covenant.
We learn some important things about how God sees marriage. That goes for the Marriage of Adam and Eve and it goes for your marriage.
God is the witness of your marriage vows.
You are not sharing in a contract. You are sharing in a covenant and she has access to the covenant with the same rights you do… This is why God is speaking and he is getting ready to bring judgment as a result of them being cruel to their covenant partners.
She is to be your companion.
I get uncomfortable when people use the word partner. I think we should be biblical about this God doesn’t call your wife your partner. She is your companion. You’re on a journey and you will be held responsible for it. If you don’t make the destination that is not up the the traveling companion its a fail on the leader.
We have enough men wasting time on entertainments never setting and hitting goals for their family and at the same time will happily point the blame toward the wife.
Let us remember that God didn’t give two jobs out in the garden He gave one and then provided a helpmeet for Adam.
I am not my wife’s help meet I am her provider, protector, presider. She is my help meet. If I don’t get us where were supposed to be going there is only one dude that is going to answer for that.
God uses this covenant to make two people one.
God uses this covenant to bring up Godly children.
God hates divorce (putting away)
God doesn’t value your excuses.
Their Treachery was seen in their Unmanageable Expectations
What about the ‘burnt food’
The burnt food thing is a Talmudic example but I defy you to find any comparable example in actual practice. In tractate Gittin (90a-b), there’s a three-way debate as to the reason for which a man may divorce his wife. One opinion says for a major reason (e.g., promiscuity), the second says for a minor reason (e.g., she burns his food) and the third says for no reason at all. Not everyone takes the “burnt food” thing at face value. According to some commentators (such as Yachin on Mishna Gittin 9:10), it means that the wife is acting passive-aggressively, burning his food intentionally, in order to aggravate him. According to the Chasam Sofer, it’s a euphemism meaning that he finds her distasteful. Even if you take it at face value, the Sages legislated around that position by instituting the kesubah (marriage contract), the entire purpose of which is to keep men from frivolously divorcing their wives by imposing huge financial disincentives.
In their social writings and laws the people had abandoned God’s Word and reasoned that they could divorce is the woman was being unsavory. Now such an allegation about a woman cannot go unchallenged in my presence. I don’t know that I have ever seen that. But if such a thing exists there is not BIBLE permission for it.
Tell me that husbands aren’t guilty of unbiblical and some unreasonable expectations. Gentlemen, let me remind you that your wife is covenanted with you and has rights to your love and you are never to withhold it.
Your manipulations and wild expectation have no claim on her rights to love.
Their Treachery was seen in their Worldly Leadership
They were ungodly in their leadership. They left the word of God in finding a spouse. They were looking among the pagan women. Gentlemen, this left the home in dangerous dissaray. Worldliness and compromise with sin will always bring destruction in your home.
Set Biblical expectations and then hold them up.
Be in church and clear it up for your family.
Set biblical entertainment standards
Set biblical dress standards
Set common sense health and education standards. (we have moms that are making these decisions on their own…How is that?) (did God not give them a man to lead?)
Your wife wants to get on board with a godly man. These men were dealing treacherously with God by leaving the Bible standard.
Ultimately
Their Treachery was seen in their Severed Isolation
The phrase “put away” sure carries a lot of weight. You can see divorce from His perspective.
The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Divorce:
Given for rebellion
He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
Divorce was given to the Hebrews because of the hardness of the hearts of his people. This was never an amicable way of living it is a violation of God’s plan.
Grounds for abandonment
The concern of the first church was that as the Gentiles were getting saved that they would turn from their idols and the fornication associated with idolatry. This would leave their spouses with a loss of connection or power in the community and they would abandon their saved spouse. Paul let the saint know that they should let them go and turn to God. But that to be right with God they should love their spouse.
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
Grounds for infidelity
But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
The grace is constantly extended...
Issue of Abuse
That does not necessarily mean, though, that none of them are grounds for divorce which God would approve of. For example, we cannot imagine that it would be God’s desire for a wife to remain with a husband who physically abuses her and/or their children. In such an instance, the wife should definitely separate herself and the children from the abusive husband. However, even in such a situation, a time of separation with the goal of repentance and restoration should be the ideal, not necessarily immediately beginning divorce proceedings. Please understand, by saying that the above are not biblical grounds for divorce, we are definitely not saying that a man/woman whose spouse is engaging in such activities should remain in the situation. If there is any risk to self or children, separation is a good and appropriate step.
The Issue of Remarriage
There is a certain amount of biblical principles that we should consider here...
We understand that the Bible is clear that God hates divorce.
There is the potentiallity of remarrying in such a way as to commit adultery.
The only allowable reason is adultery...
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
There is a goal of graceful reunion.
This is why I believe it to be unbiblical to remarry after a divorce.
It is uncharacteristic of the bible principles that are made clear.
Notice that in Matthew 19:3-6
The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
The grace of demonstrating the Unity of Christ and his church.
The grace of forgiveness.
