Heaven in the Home

Introduction

Filling Illustration

Display a bottle of colored liquid, an empty glass, and a remote-control car. Pour the liquid to the top of the glass. Then drive the car around the classroom using the remote control.

ASK: Does filling the glass or controlling the car illustrate the filling ministry of the Spirit? Explain. The remote-controlled the car, Similarly, the Holy Sprit controls a Spirit-filled believer.

Caffeine Poll

ASK: On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being extremely important, how important for you is a cup of caffeinated coffee in the morning?

ASK: Describe how caffeine affects your day.

The Holy Spirit lives in every Christian. Therefore, we cannot receive more of Him. Rather, we should assign more of ourselves to His control. Paul wrote about every believer being filled with the Spirit. We will further examine what it means to be filled, introduce the benefits of such filling, and consider the effects being Spirit filled has on relationships.

Ephesians 5:18–33 KJV 1900

And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

The Command to be Spirit Filled

Meaning of Spirit filling

Drunkenness plagued first-century culture, as it does ours today. Paul exhorted the Ephesian believers to shun drunkenness. He wrote, "Be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess." The whole tenor of Biblical teaching indicates that believers should lead disciplined lives. We should take care of our bodies as well as our souls. Our bodies are, after all, temples of the Holy Spirit. We should be as unwilling to expose our bodies to the damaging effects of alcohol as we are to expose our church building to a wrecking ball.

Instead of being filled with wine, we should be filled with the Spirit. The filling speaks of control.

ASK: What does excessive alcohol do to a person? What parts of the person does the alcohol control? Alcohol impairs a person's ability to think and react; it affects the person's bodily movement walk, speech and personality.

Alcohol takes negative control of a person. The Holy Spirit, by contrast, takes positive and productive control of us as believers, pouring God's love into our hearts (Rom. 5:5). A Spirit-controlled believer loves God and other people.

1 Corinthians 13:4–7 KJV 1900

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

ASK: What characteristics of a Spirit-controlled love have other believers shown toward you?

"Be filled" identifies a continual process. We may be filled, or controlled, by the Spirit but later relax our spiritual vigilance and fall into sin. Then we need to yield ourselves to His control again.

Results of Spirit filling

Joy

(5:19)

Paul informed the Ephesians about three manifestations of the Spirit-filled life. The first is joyful fellowship in song: "Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord" (Eph. 5:19). Paul may have been referring to Old Testament psalms that the early church used. Some of our songs today are based on Old Testament psalms. "Hymns" were early Christian songs of praise. "Spiritual songs" may refer to impromptu songs. In each case, the singing was to come from the heart, not merely the lips.

ASK: What truths about the Lord have caused a Spirit-controlled song in your heart?

ASK: How would a relationship be affected if both people were filled with joy and had a song to the Lord in their hearts? ( The relationship would flourish; disagreements would be handled correctly; there would be mutual encouragement.

Joy is one of the fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22). Christians joy is not a shallow emotion that, like a thermometer, rises and falls with the changing atmosphere of the home. Rather, Christians joy is a deep experience of adequacy and confidence in spite of the circumstances around us. The Christian can be joyful even in the midst of pain and suffering. (Me Sunday and Monday).

This kind of joy is not a thermometer but a thermostat. instead of rising and falling with the circumstance, it determines the spiritual temperature of the circumstances.

Ask: Have you ever been around someone whose joy is so evident that you can’t help but to feel it too?

Thanksgiving

(5:20)

The second manifestation of a Spirit-controlled life is "Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ" (5:20).

Someone defined the home as “the place where we are treated the best - and complain the most!” How true this is! “My father never talks to unless he wants to ask me to clean my room or to ask about my grades.”

How does a grateful heat promote harmony in the home? The grateful person realizes that he is enriched because of others, which is a mark of humility. The person who thinks the world owes him a living is never thankful for anything. He thinks he is doing other a favor by permitting them to serve him. The thankful heart, however, is usually humble, a hear that gladly acknowledges God as the “giver of ever good and perfect gift.”

James 1:17 KJV 1900

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

ASK: What does having thankful spirits do to a relationship? It helps both people focus on the positive; it leads to complements and expresses of appreciation; it focuses both people on the benefits and help that God offers them in tough times.

A spirit-controlled life exudes gratitude to God for all His many blessings.

TESTIMONY: When have you experienced a Spirit-empowered thankfulness in the middle of a difficult trial? Talk about my bumper

Mutual submission

(5:21)

The third manifestation of a Spirit-filled life is mutual submission. Paul wrote "[Submit] yourselves one to another in the' fear of God" (Eph. 5:21). Submission is unnatural. Our old nature bristles at the very thought of submitting to someone. We want to be first, and we want to have the final say. We want to make decisions. But if we are Spirit-controlled, we will put others' interests ahead of our own.

John 13:3–17 KJV 1900

Jesus knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he was come from God, and went to God; He riseth from supper, and laid aside his garments; and took a towel, and girded himself. After that he poureth water into a bason, and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded. Then cometh he to Simon Peter: and Peter saith unto him, Lord, dost thou wash my feet? Jesus answered and said unto him, What I do thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter. Peter saith unto him, Thou shalt never wash my feet. Jesus answered him, If I wash thee not, thou hast no part with me. Simon Peter saith unto him, Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head. Jesus saith to him, He that is washed needeth not save to wash his feet, but is clean every whit: and ye are clean, but not all. For he knew who should betray him; therefore said he, Ye are not all clean. So after he had washed their feet, and had taken his garments, and was set down again, he said unto them, Know ye what I have done to you? Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you. Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him. If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them.

ASK: What can we learn from Christ's example of submission? One's position of authority doesn't exempt him or her from submitting to others; no one has to give up his or her authority when submitting to others; submission is for everyone.

People in authority will use their positions to benefit those under their direction. We should mutually submit to one another in the "fear of God" (Eph. 5:21). To fear God is to respect Him and His commands. We submit in the fear of God because refusing to do so means we are disobeying God. To disobey God is to put ourselves under His discipline. God loves us too much to let us get away with refusing to submit to others.

We are to esteem others more important that ourselves.

Romans 12:10 KJV 1900

Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;

Philippians 2:1–5 KJV 1900

If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies, Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:

ASK: What will submitting to one another do for a relationship? Cause the relationship to grow; virtually eliminate arguments; bring glory to God; and make both people in the relationship feel special.

Paul applies this principle to the husbands, wives, parents, children, masters, and servants as you look into chapter 6.

The Spirit-controlled Marriage

Paul appropriately transitioned from the Spirit-controlled life to the Spirit-controlled marriage, giving specific instructions to the husband and wife.

The Spirit-controlled wife

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands," Paul exhorted in Ephesians 5:22. The Biblical concept of submission suggests a low ranking. But it does not assign a lesser value to the person who ranks under another person. A corporal ranks under a captain, but he may be as intelligent, personable, and talented as the captain. Nevertheless, for the sake of order in the military, the corporal submits to his captain. Similarly, a wife may be as intelligent, personable, and talented as her husband—or even outdistance him in these categories. But for the sake of honoring the order God established for marriage, she voluntarily ranks under her husband. She respects his leadership responsibility.

ASK: Why does submitting to Christ first make a wife's submission to her husband attainable? Christ provides the grace and wisdom necessary to submit to her husband.

At times, a wife might find it difficult to submit to her husband, but she should submit to him even then "as unto the Lord." By submitting to her husband, she is in fact showing her devotion to God, acknowledging that this arrangement reflects His will.

Paul continued, writing that "the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church" (5:23). The wife is to submit to her husband because he is the head of the home. He bears the same relationship to the wife that Christ bears to the church.

This does not mean that the husband is his wife’s slave-master. He shouldn’t walk around and say, “listen here woman this is what you are going to do, right now!” It does mean that the wife is to let her husband lead the family in a loving and God honoring way. He is not to be the authoritative personalty but to loving lead as Christ does the church. My wife and I make decisions together. Often we talk about the decision before hand, she gives her input and I give mine and if the decision is big enough we ask for God’s input. Then, she says something like, “honey, what are we going to do?”

Paul explains to the husband just how to lead in the next verses.

The Spirit-controlled husband

Marriage is a partnership. Ephesians 5:25 exhorts, "Husbands, love your wives." The Greek word for "love" in this verse is "agape," the highest form of love. Agape love is divine love produced in the heart of every believer

Romans 5:5 KJV 1900

And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

and manifested by those who are controlled by the Spirit. A husband's duty is to give his wife unfailing, ongoing, heavenly, self-sacrificing love.

First, a husband ought to love his wife "even as Christ also loved the church" (Eph. 5:25). Christ loved the church with a great love. He expressed this love by giving Himself for the church. He laid down His life for the church. A husband who truly loves his wife as Christ loved the church is willing to place her interests above his own and even die for her if necessary.

Christ gave His life for the church "that he might sanctify and cleanse it" (5:26). To "sanctify" means to "make holy." Christ makes the church holy by cleansing it with the Word. Christ uses the teachings of Scripture to make us pure.

A Helping Husband. Doing the dishes even in pain. ASK: Christ's purpose in loving the church was to sanctify it and help it to grow. How can a husband lovingly help his wife mature spiritually? Pray with and for her, lead her in studying Gods Word communicate with her about spiritual things, submit to her by loving her.

Paul wrote that husbands should love their wives "as their own bodies" (5:28). "For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it" (5:29). No man in his right mind hates his body; rather, he feeds it and takes care of it.

ASK: What will happen to any selfish desires a husband has as he begins to meet his wife's needs? They will fade because he will realize the joy of loving and helping his wife.

Paul offered a parallel example: Christ nourishes and cherishes (literally, "keeps warm") the church because we are members of His body (5:29, 30). As Christ feeds and takes care of us, so a husband ought to love his wife.

Conclusion

I Submit to You

Those who are single can plan three ways to submit to a friend and families by meeting their needs in creative ways.

Remember the overall idea of the book of Ephesians in life in Christ. To be in Christ we must first be in a relationship with Christ through salvation. Then we must continue to invest in that relationship by bible reading, prayer, and worship. As we do so we surrender to the control of the Spirit day by day. So what are you under the control of? If not the Spirit, then you are of your flesh, the world, or satan. You are under the control of something. I promise you, that if you continually surrender to the Lords control you with live a joyful, thankful, and submissive life and you won’t regret it.