Overcoming the Curse of Comparing

Today we are starting a new series based on another LC series called “Overcomer.” You and I already know that we are overcomers. Through Christ we are more than conquerors. I am excited about this series because we are going to talk about some specific struggles that we can get caught up in that cause us to believe the lie that we are not overcomers. Afraid we may fail or not be good enough. I’ve made too many mistakes. How can my messed up past help anyone? Some things just seem too big. They require far too much work, and I don’t have the time or the passion for that.

Today we are going to talk about something that may be a little more common in our lives than we may even realize. Have you ever been driving to work and someone passed you and you thought, “Oh, that truck is nicer than mine! I wish I had that truck.”

Then you get to work and Steve shows up 5 minutes late and you think, “Why can’t he be on time. I never show up late.” At lunch someone orders fried chicken, french fries, fried okra, a side of gravy, and a slice of pie and you begrudgingly order the salad. Watching them eat the good food, you decide to splurge and eat your croutons. Then you say, “I wish I could eat that. I’m tired of salads and sandwiches. I’m gaining weight just watching you eat!”

You’ve been in and out of people’s houses all day and they are nice, big houses. Clean floors. Cool decorations. Big TV’s. Nice pools in the back yard. Then you get home after work, walk through knee deep weeds, lower a shoulder into your door to open it, the house fights back by sending an awful smell your way, then you trip on all the stuff you piled in the walkway, and have to move something just so you can sit on the couch. “I wish my place was as nice as theirs.” Or maybe you have an opposite reaction to all of these scenarios. “I sure am glad I’m not uptight like those people. They made me wear booties on my shoes. I can’t imagine living like that.”

For me, I will often catch myself comparing myself to someone else without even realizing that is what I was doing at the time. Especially when it comes to eating. If I breath too much air throughout the day I gain weight. So it’s really discouraging to hear skinny people talk about how they need to lose weight. Or someone who has never been overweight tell me how to lose weight. What always happens is that at lunch time that person will order half of the fried food menu and eat all of it and I’m left thinking, “How? Why can’t I do that? I wish I could eat like that and not gain weight. I wish I was more like you.”

Today we are talking about overcoming the curse of comparisons. There are so many ways comparisons can creep up on you. At some point in your life you have probably had to face a scenario similar to one of these. Either someone else has something better that you want or you have something better that you are proud of. Maybe you even had something great, you worked real hard to get it and you were very excited and proud of it. You found yourself satisfied, then looked to your left and noticed that someone else had something just a little bit better than you.

One of the earliest moments that I can remember being hit with the curse of comparison was way back in grade school. I think I was in first or second grade. When my brother and I were little we would walk through the field to Uncle Michael and Aunt Darla’s house so we could hang out with Zane. We did this pretty regularly. It was often enough that when I started having to stay at school longer than my brother, I didn’t get to go to Zane’s house until mid afternoon. Dusty, already being at home, was still able to go down in the early afternoon. To me, that wasn’t fair. Dusty had the better deal. I was getting ripped off!

I’ll say it like this...

The fastest way to kill something special is to compare it to something else.

It’s like when you love your home. You are so thankful for your home, you love it, it’s special to you. Then your best friend gets a complete HGTV home makeover for their house. Then you’re like, “Move that bus… Over here and do my house next!”

What happens is that we get so focused on what we don’t have, what someone else has, or what we wish we had, that we completely ignore our own blessings or abilities to the point that we forget they even exist. You may have heard the story of the raven and the swan. It’s a silly story that illustrates this idea very well…

One day a raven was sitting on a branch over a small body of water when a swan came floating by. When he saw the swan he said, “You are so white and beautiful! It must be nice. You must be so happy. I wish I was like you.”

Then the swan said, “Me, happy? I don’t have any color at all. Just white and boring. Have you met the parrot? Look at him. He has so many different colors! I bet he is so happy!”

Then the parrot said, “Me? Are you making fun of me for not being colorful enough? I am nothing like the peacock. So many beautiful colors! He is probably the most happy!”

Then the peacock, who was in a cage, said, “I am so colorful that these people put me in a cage to show other people. I wish I looked like the raven so I could fly anywhere I wanted and nobody would bother me.”

If you are taking notes, write this down…

WHERE COMPARISON BEGINS, CONTENTMENT ENDS.

We live in a world that makes it super easy to compare. Now we have social media like Facebook and Instagram and at any moment you can look at someone’s great moments. You’re having a great day, but when you open Facebook and see everyone having fun at an event you think, “Why didn’t I get invited to that?” While you stand by the microwave waiting for your Stouffer’s Salisbury steak and mashed potatoes to finish heating up you are scrolling through the pictures your friend is posting of their beach vacation and lobster dinner.

I like the way Pastor Steven Ferdick puts it. He says, “The problem is we’re comparing our behind-the-scenes with everybody else’s highlight reals.” In other words, you are doing your every-day thing, but it seems like everybody else is doing all this great stuff. So you think, “Ugh, my life sucks because I am stuck here while you are out skydiving, surfing, camping, going on a cruise, or whatever.” Before long, we find ourselves miserable because where comparison begins, contentment ends.

Let’s look at what Paul said in Chapter 10 of 2nd Corinthians. In Verse 12, Paul identifies the main flaw with comparisons. He says, “We wouldn’t dare compare ourselves with others...”

2 Corinthians 10:12 (NLT)

12 ... But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant!

How ignorant! That’s what the birds were doing. Ignoring certain truths in pursuit of others. How ignorant it is to compare yourself to someone else, using each other as the standard of measurement. How ignorant it is to say, “Look how great their relationship is.” “Look how their kids act all the time.” “Look how much money they are making and I’m not.”

If you are taking notes, one of the problems with comparing is that it does two things…

COMPARING MAKES YOU FEEL EITHER SUPERIOR OR INFERIOR. NEITHER HONORS GOD.

When talking about comparisons, Pastor Andy Stanley says that, “There is no win in comparisons.” He called it the “Land of Er.” In the Land of Er, everybody simply wants -er. Whatever someone else has, they want that plus -er. They want to be rich -er, cool -er, pretty -er, happy -er, funny -er, strong -er, faster -er. Whatever it is plus -er.

Some of you may be thinking, “I don’t have a problem with that. I never want to be better, faster, stronger.” You are kind of competitive like me, so you are thinking, “I don’t live in the land of -er, I live in the land of -est! I want to be the best! Fastest! Strongest!”

If you ride your bike with me, I don’t want to be faster than you. I want to be the FASTEST! I don’t want to lose MORE weight, I want to lose the MOST! I don’t want a truck with a BIGGER motor, I want the BIGGEST! I want to be the greatest! Happiest! The MOST likes on my Facebook post!

What’s funny is how you can see this same thing happening to people in the bible. One of my favorite things about scripture is that when you read the stories, you are reading about real people doing things people really do. So scripture can be very powerful, while also being pretty entertaining and funny.

For example, you would think that the disciples would always get along and just be excited to be with Jesus, but it wasn’t uncommon for them to squabble a bit. Some people today even think that Peter and John didn’t like each other. I’m not sure about that, but at the very least they had some level of competitiveness between them.

You can see it when you read through the Gospels. They are just regular people and there is this odd little competition between them. “I got to sit next to Jesus. I was the closest. Who’s His favorite? I am the best disciple. I love Jesus the most.” They were regular people with this streak of competitiveness and comparison between them.

Let’s look at a story in John chapter 20. John is an interesting character. On one hand, one of my favorite books is the book of John, but he does this very annoying thing where he refers to himself in the 3rd person. I don’t know if he only did it in his writing, but if he talked like that too, I can only imagine why Peter might have been frustrated with him. Can’t you just see John regularly walking up to Peter and saying stuff like, “Good morning, Peter. Hope you’re on your A-Game, John’s catching up to you on the leader boards! Guess who Jesus asked to help carry the food at lunch time… JOHN! Boom, baby!”

Wouldn’t that be annoying! Not only does he do that, but he also calls himself “the one that Jesus loved.” How ridiculous? “The one.” That’s pretty funny. It’s like Moses in the OT, guess what Moses called himself. The most humble person on earth.

So there appears to be some kind of competition between Peter and John. After Jesus was killed He was buried in the tomb. Three days later, Mary went there and found the stone had been rolled away and the tomb was empty. She didn’t know what to think. Did someone take Him? Was He risen? So she ran to tell the disciples. I want to read what happens next and pay close attention to how John describes the story. Notice how many times John tells you who is the faster runner between him and Peter…

John 20:2–4 (NIV)

2 So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!” 3 So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. 4 Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first.

John 20:6 (NIV)

6 Then Simon Peter came along behind him and went straight into the tomb…

John 20:8 (NIV)

8 Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside…

WHAT?!? Just picture this happening in real time in your head. It sounds like a silly movie. Peter and John run to tell the others and they show up panting. “Hey guys! You won’t believe this… Jesus… Jesus has risen, and I beat Peter to the tomb. Yeah, don’t bother going to look. He’s not there. Peter and I saw it. I saw it first. Whew! That was a long run! I’m surprised I beat you Peter. What was that, a mile and a half? I didn’t even stop. Man that was fast.”

Three times he bragged about beating Peter WHILE EXPLAINING THE BIGGEST EVENT IN HUMAN HISTORY. It almost sounds like a bad Will Ferrell movie. In case you’re wondering, John’s not done. This continues. In Chapter 21 the disciples were out fishing. They couldn’t catch anything and finally someone called out from the shore and told them to throw the net to the other side of the boat. When they did they had more than they could pull up. That’s when John said, “It’s the Lord! I recognized Him first!”

Peter jumps off the boat and swims to the shore and has a powerful encounter with Jesus. To understand this encounter you have to remember back to the passover meal they shared and after Jesus was on arrested. Peter was very bold about his love for Jesus. He said he could never leave Jesus. He loved Him so much that he would even die for Jesus. Peter implied that the others might deny Jesus, but he would never deny Jesus.

After Jesus was arrested, a little girl comes up to Peter and says, “Hey, are you one of the disciples?” Then he’s like, “No, no, no. Hugh Ugh, no way. Nope. What kind of a question is that? Ha… Are YOU? Ha ha. No. No way.” Peter actually denies Jesus three times and the rooster that Jesus told Peter about crowed. You know that above all of the murmuring voices and all of the other noise and commotion, when the rooster crowed that was the only thing Peter heard. It was probably a deafening echo in his head as his heart sank and devastation and humiliation sank in.

Now he is walking on the shore and experiencing this powerful moment with Jesus as the savior he denied confronts him and asks him, “Peter, do you love?” Peter says, “Yes, you know that I do!” A second time, Jesus asks, “Do You love me?” “Yes, I love you.” Then He asks a third time, but uses a different word. “Peter, do you really and truly LOVE me?” Peter says, “Of course I do.”

Then Peter turns and who happens to be following them? The one Jesus loved… Peter has this one on one moment with Jesus, then he sees the competition and what happens? Where comparison begins, contentment ends…

John 21:21 NLT

21 Peter asked Jesus, “What about him, Lord?”

What about him, Lord? You told me to feed the sheep, what does he get to do? What’s his assignment?

John 21:22 NLT

22 Jesus replied, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? As for you, follow me.”

Why are you worried about him? What does it matter? Why waste your time on him? I’m talking to YOU. What does Jesus tell him to do? As for you FOLLOW ME. Do what YOU are called to do. Don’t worry about him. Your assignment is to feed my sheep. Jesus want’s Peter to realize something important…

You can’t faithfully follow Jesus if you’re always comparing yourself to someone else.

We will never be able to fully follow Jesus if we are always looking over our shoulder and comparing ourselves to someone else. “What about them? What do they have? Where are they going? What are they doing? Why are they more blessed than me in this area?”

By nature, we are sinful beings. That sinful nature wants to pull us away from the heart of God and toward something else. Anything else! We have an internal longing for God, but sin wants to fill that hole with something external so that you don’t have room for the God that you actually need. So sin shows us all of these shiny things to steal us from God and go, “Oh look at that. His life is so great! That looks like so much fun! That must be better than what I have.”

But what we must understand is that there is no external accomplishment, no blessing, no relationship, no amount of money, and no satisfaction that will ever quench the inner spiritual longing that we have. No amount of -er or even -est in this world that will satisfy the spiritual brokenness we have inside. In Craig Groeschel’s words…

“You can look for it and look for it and look for it, but there is nothing on the outside designed by God to satisfy you on the inside beside the God who created you.”

That is why if you want to overcome the curse of comparing you must answer this question…

WHO OR WHAT IS GOING TO DEFINE MY WORTH?

Who are you living for? Who’s expectations are you trying to live up to? Who are you trying to impress? Who are you comparing yourself to? Who are you making your standard of measurement? Who are you letting define your worth?

If your answer is anything besides Jesus Christ, you will always be running a race you cannot win… You will never win it… What defines you? Your worth? Your value? If it is anything other than Jesus you are running a race you will never win.

Just like Peter, Jesus has given you an assignment. Follow Him, not these other things. Stop running to beat someone else in their race, follow the race Jesus has given YOU.

I don’t remember what cycling race it was, but there is a famous funny video online of a guy that shows up out of no where and rides his bike on the sidelines faster than the racers. In this moment of glory, this guy pulls a John and gets his moment of fame. Can you guess what he won? Nothing. Zip. It wasn’t his race to run. He didn’t even complete the whole race. Just that one moment to show how fast he could go. But it was a complete waste of energy and time.

Jesus gave YOU a specific race to run. He gave YOU a special assignment. Don’t worry about Peter’s race or John’s race. Run the race set before YOU. You’ve heard that before and you can find it in Hebrews chapter 12…

Hebrews 12:1–2 (NLT)

1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. 2 We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith…

Don’t get tripped up by comparing yourself to someone else, but focus on the race God gave YOU. Hang in there and keep running. How? Just as Jesus said, stop looking behind you and at everyone else and focus on, who? Jesus. Keep your eyes on Him. Follow Him.

When someone succeeds, celebrate and keep running. When someone else gets something, celebrate and keep running. When someone else gets to take a break and go on vacation, celebrate and keep running. Run. Your. Race.

1 Corinthians 9:24–26 NLT

24 Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! 25 All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. 26 So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing.

Run with purpose in every step. Define what’s important and get rid of what’s not. Don’t let John bother you. You may have a John in your life that shows up at work every day and says, “Hey, you were 5 minutes early today, that’s great! Of course, I like to show up 15 minutes early, but that’s just me.” “Hey, Chad! You ready to ride bikes? I hope so, cause John is gonna kick your tail today!”

If you do, that’s okay. Don’t look over your shoulder and worry about what he’s doing. Stay in your lane. Run your race. Stop comparing yourself to someone else. What defines your worth? Who determines your value?

You cannot win anyone else’s race, so what do you do? You wake up every day with your eyes on Christ. Who will define your worth? Jesus. This is who He created me to be. This is the race He called me to run. I have a purpose to fulfill. I have a mission to accomplish. He has given me people to love. I have a family to raise. He has given me a race to run, so today I’m running my race.

Why? Because you are an overcomer. Why waste time comparing myself to anyone or anything else when I have Jesus? Let’s pray.