The Battle of the Family
Notes
Transcript
Welcome- Prepare hearts and Worship
Call to Worship see Col 3:1-17
Prayer
Worship through Song
Sermon
Introduction
Introduction
In the second half of the book of Ephesians Paul is teaching how important that it is that believers live out their lives filled with the Holy Spirit of God. Believers who walk in this will behave in a certain way. The end of chapter 5 and the beginning of chapter 6 Paul explains what a Spirit filled life looks like and he focuses on the family. That a spirit filled family will willingly submit to one another in special ways. Before he ever gives examples he speaks of submitting to one another.
20 giving thanks always for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.
From this point forward he shows what this looks like in the family first in the marriage.
He sums up a spirit filled husband as one who demonstrates this submission through love. Love that reflects how Christ loves the church. Wives demonstrate this submission though respect that reflects Christ as the head of the church.
Last week we looked at the battle over the mind. I was encouraged by the conversations that were happening through out the week. That we were pausing to think about how digital media is opening the doors of the temple. Opening the doors of our minds and hearts to the corruption of the world around us. See the world is still as corrupt as it has always been but we get to experience it in a new way. The corruption that is being wielded by digital technology and media.
After last week and some of the statistics that I have been giving it may start to feel a little hopeless. That the world is going down the drain and we are swirling with it but I don’t believe that is the case. See God has provided everything we need to live in a world that will continue to show what the hearts of men without God are capable of. We as Christians as followers of Jesus are called to live differently.
Do you find it interesting that when Paul speaks of walking in love, of imitating God, that he takes us to the family. The family is so important to the kingdom of God. Paul does not emphasize the church or government or missions. He emphasizes the family. Christ is the cornerstone and the family is the building material that he uses to build with. The local family and by extension the church family.
It is the place where the most intimate, important and dependent relationships exist in our lives. This is what Paul teaches and a question may arise in your minds.
What does it mean to be filled with the Spirit? Who has asked that question in their lives. We teach that all of our hope to have marriages and families living this way is only possible by the Holy Spirit living in us. So how does the work of the Holy Spirit grow in the lives of believers.
We read the parallel verses this morning in Colossians 3.
In verses 1:-2 He tells them to put their minds on the things above not on earthly things.
In 3-11 He tells them what to put off. What the old self the desires of the flesh look like and that they are being renewed in knowledge according to the image of Christ and that there is only one distinction now. Those in Christ and those who are not.
In 12-17 he writes. about putting on the new self. Things like compassion, kindness, humility ect.
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive. 14 Above all, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. 15 And let the peace of Christ, to which you were also called in one body, rule your hearts. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell richly among you, in all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another through psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. 17 And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
He tells them what to put on. What the new self look like. He continues with a set of instructions that is teaching about husbands, wives, children and slaves. But Did you see how often he spoke of living filled with the Spirit to the Colossians? So what drives the behavior that Paul is speaking of here. It is tucked away in verse 16
16 Let the word of Christ dwell richly among you, in all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another through psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.
See the tipping point in Ephesians is “Being filled with the Spirit” and in Colossians is “Let the word of Christ dwell richly among you. If being filled with the spirit and letting the word of God dwell richly among people leads to the same spiritual growth and life then. We can conclude that to be filled with the spirit is to live a life that has the word of God deeply embedded in our hearts and minds. This means that without the reading, teaching, and obeying of the word of God that was divinely inspired by the Holy Spirit in that writings of man, then we are without hope of ever having the life that Paul is speaking of. We will be unable to receive the abundant blessings of giving and receiving love, peace, and hope.
Child’s Actions
Child’s Actions
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, because this is right. 2 Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, 3 so that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life in the land. 4 Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
As husbands and wife submit as to the Lord to each other, So do children and parents submit to each other. Children, refers to children that are under their parents authority. We already looked at the point that when a man and women are married that they are to leave their mother and father and to cleave or bond to one another. This shouldn’t sever the love and relationship between parents and grown children but the authority structure should change. They now have authority to God, elders and each other.
Children in the home are to obey. This word obey means “to hear under”. This means that children should be attentive to and respond to their christian parents direction. The child’s actions should be inline with the parents will for their lives. This is a training ground for children to learn how to obey God and God’s word. A child who never learns how to obey mom and dad will struggle with obedience to God and His word.
The family is to be a place where they learn to be submissive to their parents as to the Lord. Each part of the family unit submits to each other as to the Lord. Each has a role and complements each other. Children have a role as well. Tricia will periodically talk about what God has taught her through each of our children and in different seasons of life.
They are to be taught to listen and respond because it is right. It is the correct behavior of a child in a christian home. This is that actions or behavior of the christian child.
They are also taught to
2 Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, 3 so that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life in the land.
This is the motive of the behavior. Which is a quote of the the 4th commandment.
12 Honor your father and your mother so that you may have a long life in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.
When you look at the 10 commandments you will find that the first 4 deal with a persons relationship with God:
No other Gods before me
Do not make idols and worship
Do not take the Lord’s mane in vain,
Remember the sabbath and keep it Holy
Honor your father and mother
Thou shall not kill
Thou shall not commit adultery
Though shall not steal
Thou shall not give false witness
Thou shall not covet.
The 4th commandment is the transition from relating to God to relating to man. There were no schools, churches, synagogues or any other organized government programs. There was just the family. This is the center of society. It is the center of life of believers.
The result is a promise of a quality and quantity of life. The idea is that divine correction will not be needed and that sin has a tendency to shorten life.
These verses in Ephesians are more about parents than they are about children. Children must be raised and nurtured and God must be at work in the parents and the children for this to develop in the children. The home is to be a hot spot of the word of God. If the word is not in the home this will never happen.
4 “Listen, Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. 6 These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. 7 Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead. 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your city gates.
Any land will change if the families change. We see it over and over again. If you want to know about what a society is and where it is going and where it has been all you have to do is study what the families look like at that time.
Parents Actions
Parents Actions
It is the responsibility of christian parents to raise their children in this way.
4 Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Fathers in this case will include mothers as the mother and father complement each other in the parenting of children. Do not stir up anger in your children but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Do not provoke your children.
Each and every parent has the God given and biblical responsibility to raise children in the training and instruction of the Lord. Children submit to mom and dad by obedience and honor and parents submit to their children in that their instruction is focused on the prescriptive will of God and that they do not stir up anger or bitter frustration in their children. Paul puts it this way to the Colossians
20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they won’t become discouraged.
Exasperate means to provoke your child. To go to battle with them in a way that will discourage them in other words. There is an appropriate way to train and instruct children and the outcome we must avoid is to discourage them, to make then disheartened and to lose spirit. How do we provoke our children?
Hypocrisy. When we stand before them and they know we are not obeying what we say is true. Do as I say not as I do.
Children ad Dishman.
A parents instruction is so important to a child. For good or bad. There isn’t anyone who has more influence over the development of a child other than their parents.
8 Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction, and don’t reject your mother’s teaching, 9 for they will be a garland of favor on your head and pendants around your neck.
1 My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands; 2 for they will bring you many days, a full life, and well-being.
1 My son, obey my words, and treasure my commands. 2 Keep my commands and live, and guard my instructions as you would the pupil of your eye. 3 Tie them to your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart.
Throughout the Proverbs there is a steady flow of a fathers instruction to his son. Which centers on wisdom. Which is the correct application of truth. The word instruction means “putting in the mind”.
It is the active pursuit of parents to put what is good and right into the minds of their children. To fill them with the wisdom of the Lord which is the ability to practice the application of truth.
Instruction teaches the child right and wrong what actions are correct or wrong. Without sound teaching on what God expects how will a child ever know what to obey. Instruction is defining correct actions.
Training is the process of upbringing. of commands, reproof, admonitions and punishment. This is the process of building godly character and attitudes.
1 Listen, sons, to a father’s discipline, and pay attention so that you may gain understanding, 2 for I am giving you good instruction. Don’t abandon my teaching. 3 When I was a son with my father, tender and precious to my mother, 4 he taught me and said, “Your heart must hold on to my words. Keep my commands and live.
5 And you have forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons: My son, do not take the Lord’s discipline lightly or lose heart when you are reproved by him, 6 for the Lord disciplines the one he loves and punishes every son he receives. 7 Endure suffering as discipline: God is dealing with you as sons. For what son is there that a father does not discipline? 8 But if you are without discipline—which all receive—then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9 Furthermore, we had human fathers discipline us, and we respected them. Shouldn’t we submit even more to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time based on what seemed good to them, but he does it for our benefit, so that we can share his holiness. 11 No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Discipline, encouragement, correction, love, mercy, grace all tie into the raising of children without building a discouraging heart. In what ways do we raise our children, well lets look at Jesus.
52 And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and with people.
We raise them intellectually. The ability to act accordingly to the truth. It is not enough to know the bible. A person must live and obey it. We teach our children to increase in wisdom.
We raise them in stature. To be strong, to have healthy bodies and can do and work in this world that God has given us to toil in.
We raise them in favor of God. To help them to grow spiritually into people that delight the Lord.
We raise them in favor of people. To live in this world and with other people. To make an impact with other people. To be able to navigate the world socially.
The Reality of the Situation
The Reality of the Situation
But we are far from this as a society. Young adults are showing over and over again that we are not raising our children to grow intellectually.
We look at the health of children and it too is on the decline. Spiritual training is nonexistent and socially well what do I say about that.
Paul was speaking counter culturally for the time period. It would have been had for people to understand how to look at kids this way.
Roman treatment of children.
We are swinging the pendulum to the other direction. From no rights to equal rights. This has been developing for over half a decade. and continues to gain momentum. In the 70 and 80s “ Youth Liberation” Started to come about and in 1988 the UN created the “United nations Convention on the Rights of the Child”.
https://gospelway.com/family/child_liberation.php
Children's Liberation Rights
The right to Self-determination--children should have the right to decide matters that affect them most directly.
"The Right to Self-Determination. Children should have the right to decide the matters which affect them most directly ... The Right to Alternative Home Environments. Self-determining children should be able to choose from among a variety of arrangements: residences operated by children, child exchange programs, 24-hour child-care centers..." ("Bill of Rights").
"We want the freedom to form into communal families. We believe that the nuclear family is not in the best interest of the people involved. Young people are now considered property - to be molded in the image of their parents ... this is intolerable. In communal families, children ... learn the cooperation of community rather than the oppression of ownership." ("Youth Liberation")
The Right to Alternate Home Environments--including the right to choose from among a variety of home environments, and various kinds of schools and employment opportunities.
The Right of Responsive Design--society must accommodate itself to children's size and to their need for safe space.
The Right to Information--children must have the right to all information ordinarily available to adults.
The Right to Educate Oneself--children should be free to choose from among many kinds of learning experiences, including the option not to attend any kind of school.
The Right to Freedom from Physical Punishment.
The Right to Sexual Freedom--children should have the right to conduct their sexual lives with no more restrictions than adults.
"The Right to Sexual Freedom. Children should have the right to conduct their sexual lives with no more restriction than adults. Sexual freedom for children must include the right to information about sex, the right to nonsexist education, and the right to all sexual activities that are legal among consenting adults." ("Bill of Rights")
"We want sexual self-determination ... all people must have the unhindered right to be heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual or transsexual" ("Youth Liberation").
The Right to Economic Power--including the right to work, to acquire and manage money, and to achieve financial independence.
The Right to Justice--including the guarantee of fair trial with due process of law [and] an advocate to protect their rights against parents.
"The Right to Educate Oneself. Children should be free to design their own education, choosing from among many options the kinds of learning experiences they want..." ("Bill of Rights"). But remember that "education" and "learning experiences" would include religious training. So, if children are free to choose their own education and learning experiences, then parents could not indoctrinate them religiously without the child's permission.
"We want the power to determine our own destiny. We want the immediate end of adult chauvinism ... Age might once have led to wisdom, but the old have proven themselves unable to deal with present reality ... the young must take the lead. We want fully civil and human rights ... We must have complete freedom of speech, press, assembly, religion and the right to vote..." ("Youth Liberation").
"The Right to Freedom from Physical Punishment. Children should live free of physical threat from those who are larger and more powerful than they. Corporal punishment is used impulsively and cruelly in the home, arbitrarily in the school, and sadistically in penal institutions. It does not belong in our repertoire of responses to children." ("Bill of Rights")
We live in one of the most progressive states when it comes to these ideas. I was surprised when I started to look for information in light of these rights. I came to teen vogue magazine that had a current articles that were advocating for the abolishment of all concepts of family. Articles on Self directed learning which is well beyond the ideals of home schooling. It is the idea that only the child knows what is best for themselves and they are the best suited to know what to study.
The world does not see the importance of marriage and the family.
Do I blame them. Nope.
Men and women have been abusive and domineering over each other and children and because these are the relationships that have the greatest impact on a persons life they have the ability to create the greatest pleasure and happiness or the greatest wounds and sadness.
Conclusion
Conclusion
I don’t know what this looks like but the questions that are in my head are how do we come together so that parents don’t have to put their kids in public school.
What would it look like to have more mothers be able to stay at home with their children.
Wait my kids don’t behave this way.
Unevenly Yoked / not following the word /
Ephesians: The MacArthur New Testament Commentary The Negative Command
Harvard University sociologists Sheldon and Eleanor Glueck developed a test (that proved to be 90 percent accurate) to determine whether or not five- and six-year-olds would become delinquent. They discovered that the four primary factors necessary to prevent delinquency are: the father’s firm, fair, and consistent discipline; the mother’s supervision and companionship during the day; the parent’s demonstrated affection for each other and for the children; and the family’s spending time together in activities where all participated (Unraveling Juvenile Delinquency [Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard Univ. Press, 1950], pp. 257–71).
How has this challenged the way you think?
How has this challenged your affections?
How is this challenging you to live differently?
Prayer
Prayer
Jesus Declares
Jesus Declares
35 “I am the bread of life,” Jesus told them. “No one who comes to me will ever be hungry, and no one who believes in me will ever be thirsty again.
37 Everyone the Father gives me will come to me, and the one who comes to me I will never cast out.
Institution
Institution
1 Corinthians 11:23–26 (CSB)
23 For I received from the Lord what I also passed on to you: On the night when he was betrayed, the Lord Jesus took bread, 24 and when he had given thanks, broke it, and said, “This is my body, which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” 25
In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, and said, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.” 26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.
Self Examination of the people and church taking communion in an unworthy manner.
Self Examination of the people and church taking communion in an unworthy manner.
1 Corinthians 11:27–34 (CSB)
27 So, then, whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of sin against the body and blood of the Lord. 28 Let a person examine himself; in this way let him eat the bread and drink from the cup. 29 For whoever eats and drinks without recognizing the body, eats and drinks judgment on himself.
Worship through Song
Benediction
Romans 15:13 (CSB)
13 Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.