Matthew 1:18-25: Demystifying Decision Making
Matthew 2023 • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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Transcript
If you have your Bibles open them to Matthew chapter 1, starting at verse 18. Last week we took some time to dig into the beginning verses of Matthew and how the genealogy there pointed to some incredible truths about how all the promises God made to Israel in the Old Testament were kept and fulfilled in the coming of Jesus Christ. This week we are going to be starting to discuss some of the actual events of Jesus’ early life. But to be more precise we are going to be looking at Joseph and how he honored God with his decision making in a difficult situation and what we can learn from this passage.
So now, let’s read Matthew 1:18 through the end of the chapter together.
18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. 19 And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. 20 But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21 She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” 22 All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet: 23 “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means, God with us). 24 When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, 25 but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus.
Let’s pray and then dig into this text.
A. The problem (v. 18)
1. Introduction - If you know anything about the story of Jesus, you should know that he had a habit of causing problems for people. One of the major markers of his ministry years was that he preached an upside-down kingdom that rejected the well-established ideas about what the kingdom of God would be. It caused problems. Jesus caused problems by calling for people to follow him and to leave everything behind to be his disciples. Jesus still causes problems today for each of us as we have been called to hold fast to truth as our culture turns against us and seeks to demonize faithful followers of Jesus as bigots and frauds. Jesus causes yet more problems for us as he calls us to hold fast to love as well as truth, making those who proclaim truth with no love for the people toward whom that truth is directed to be useless noise that has no place in Jesus’ upside-down kingdom.
In the same way, the period where Jesus was in the womb of Mary was one that brought problems of it’s own for Mary and Joseph. We find that problem put very clearly for us in verse 18.
18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit.
2. Mary was betrothed to Joseph
What is betrothal?
Betrothal was a period, of usually a year, before the wedding that was considered to already be a part of the marriage. It was a time of preparation where both spouses would be working to be ready for when their life together started. The betrothal period gave the bride time to prepare for her new role, to gather personal belongings, to adjust relationships with parents, siblings, and friends, and in some cases to become better acquainted with her fiancé. The groom prepared similarly by adjusting his relationships, as well as ensuring he had a house in which to raise his family. After betrothal, three things remained for the wedding to be complete: the wedding celebration, the bride’s move into the groom’s house, and the consummation of the marriage. (Already, not yet)
A betrothal was much stronger than our modern engagements. It was as legally binding as marriage and included the paying of a brideprice to the bride’s family. To break the betrothal was considered to be divorce, to become pregnant during the betrothal (with a child who was not your betrothed’s) was considered to be infidelity to your husband. It was adultery.
And what was the legal consequence for adultery? Death by stoning. Now, that wasn’t likely to be the case in Roman occupied Judea because the Jews weren’t free to execute people on their own (think of the circus trial of Jesus), but a public divorce would make it very unlikely for an unfaithful spouse to be considered marriage material ever again, and the unfaithful wife would eventually lose her social protection and means of income if her father was to die.
3. Mary conceives by the Holy Spirit
This means that Joseph and Mary had a massive problem to figure out. For Joseph, he needed to decide whether he would take upon himself what appeared to be an unfaithful wife, raising a child as his own who wasn’t his own (the firstborn no less! the inheritor!), and taking the shame that such a situation would bring by his community (either he was lustful and couldn’t wait till the wedding or his wife took another man while covenanted to him!). The opposite decision, and one the was considered justice and honorable in his community, was to publicly divorce Mary and allow her to possibly be stoned but most likely be left to a life of poverty and shame for her perceived infidelity.
For Mary, through no fault of her own (in fact, through her righteousness!) she was in a situation where she had to rely on a man she likely knew very little to be compassionate toward her and her situation. She had to rely on him making the right decision in a difficult situation.
B. The solution (vv. 19–21)
1. The false one: Joseph’s decision (v. 19)
Well, starting in the next verse we see Joseph’s decision and his decision making process.
19 And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly.
There is a provision made in the book of Leviticus for a private divorce that would help retain some of the honor of them both. It would risk Joseph not being able to get his brideprice back, but seeking to still be honorable both in his own name and also in treating Mary with compassion, decided to privately divorce her that her life would be spared and that she might not bear the lifelong shame of a public divorce. By all standards, with the information Joseph had to work with, he made what appears to be a great decision. The only problem was, that God had a better decision for Joseph to make. As Joseph went to bed, resolved in his decision, he may have well been broken hearted. All his aspirations for a family with Mary were now crushed.
2. The correct one: God’s decision (vv. 20–21)
20 But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21 She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.”
a. Angel’s message: the Holy Spirit behind the conception (v. 20)
b. Angel’s message: name the child Jesus (v. 21)
Hoshea “salvation” - Joshua “YHWH saves” (Same name as “Jesus” (Num. 13:16)
Joshua = Jesus (Jesus was a (sort-of) Greek rendering of Joshua, like Saul-Paul) So if your name is Joshua, it is essentially the same as Jesus. In some languages today, they both would be Yeshua
Jesus was named “Yahweh Saves” because he would bring the salvation of Yahweh from sin
C. The results (vv. 22–25)
1. Scripture fulfilled (vv. 22–23) references Isaiah
22 All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet: 23 “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means, God with us).
Immanuel - God with us
2. Joseph obeys and glorifies God in his decision (vv. 24–25)
24 When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, 25 but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus.
There are two things to note here quickly. One, this is not a verse that supports the Catholic doctrine of the perpetual virginity of Mary that some of our neighbors might believe. The language of this verse is pretty clearly stating that Mary and Joseph had normal spousal relations, consummating their marriage, after the birth of Jesus. Matthew also clearly references Jesus’s brothers later in the book as well.
The second thing to note is that Joseph named Jesus, which was Joseph adopting Jesus as his son, clearly bringing Jesus into his line, which if we remember last week, was the line of King David, from which 1,000 years ago the unending king of peace was promised to come. Joseph shouldered the weight of the social shame of having a wife who became pregnant before their marriage in order to follow God’s plan for the salvation from sin. God knew exactly what He was doing when He chose Mary and Joseph.
Application
So often when we as Christians are faced with a big decision we either rush to make a decision, or we seek to internalize and mystify the way we make the decision usually out of fear of messing up God’s plan for our lives. (What does your heart say? Are you following your calling? God wouldn’t put a desire in your heart if He doesn’t intend to give it to you. Just give it to God.)
I contend that none of those are the right way to make decisions and that they are all going to lead you astray.
How can Joseph help us with this?
What did Joseph do when faced with the problem?
1. He sought to make the most honorable decision (Matt. 1:19)
Instead of taking either extreme approach, he looked to be righteous toward all parties involved, not desiring for anyone to be put to shame.
When you make decisions are you thinking about how to honor everyone involved as much as possible? Or are you looking to only do what is right for you?
2. He actually thought about the problem and how to solve it, not rushing to the immediate answer
Matt 1:20 “As he considered these things...”
Joseph wasn’t immediately jumping in to take the easy answer of divorcing Mary and leaving her to be socially rejected or stoned. He also didn’t immediately jump to taking the hard answer of being a sort of martyr for the sake of his betrothed and her son. Far too often I have been quick to jump to a conclusive answer and did not heed the wisdom of patience. My impulsiveness led to a lot of hurt for me and those around me.
Do you take time to process the variables for the decision before you? Do you seek wise counsel from those who are older than you or more experienced in the area of your problem? Do you seek God’s wisdom in the Scriptures and through prayers? Or do you usually make decisions without consulting others, trusting in your own limited wisdom?
Joseph took enough time to consider these things to be visited by an angel in a dream. Which brings up another good point...
3. He slept on it
Sleep is a great gift from God, don’t ignore it. Make sure you sleep on a big problem before you try to fix it.
4. He was resolved in his decision...
Joseph made a decision and was ready to do what needed to be done. He wasn’t second guessing himself and he wasn’t constantly questioning whether he was living out his calling. He just decided to do something. He was resolved...
5. … Until his mind was changed by God bringing something new to his attention
Joseph allowed his decision to be changed when viable evidence was brought forward that he originally made the wrong decision. He wasn’t so arrogant as to think that he must stick to his guns above all else. Joseph cared more about following God’s instructions than about seeing his original decision to completion. The word of God comes to us primarily through reading or hearing the Scriptures and not by direct contact with angels. In fact, we’re warned in Galatians 1 to be wary of angels who might bring different messages from the Gospel.
Are you humble enough to recognize when you are wrong in a decision? Do you repent to God and others when your sinful decision-making is brought to your attention? Do you allow your decision making to be shaped by the word of God (usually through the Scriptures being read or proclaimed to you by a Christian brother or sister)? Do you actually believe that the Bible is the Word of God (studying and cherishing it) or do you treat it more like your daily horoscope (how can my daily verse help me today)?
6. He acted upon his decision
Now, with his new decision made for him, he acted on it. He completed the betrothal, married Mary, ensured there was no question about whether it was his biological son, and then at the appropriate time named Jesus, which in the culture was Joseph claiming Jesus as his own son.
Do you honorably act upon your decisions or do you put them off? Do you act upon reading or hearing the Word of God to honor the Lord or do you not commit to your mind and your heart to remembering and believing God’s Word?
7. God was glorified through Joseph’s decision
When we seek God’s glory above all else, we will ultimately make better decisions because we will be seeking the same thing God seeks: God’s glory
Too often we have bought into the mess that the American Revivalism of Charles Finney in the Second Great Awakening brought us, this internally focused mystical mess of a religion that is based more on our feelings than on the Word of God! We have been told that “God loves us and has a wonderful plan for our lives”, but then are left to figure out what that plan is on our own, so we search and search and search for the fulfillment of this mystical calling that each of us are supposed to have but are supposed to find within ourselves!
Then we put this insane burden of mystical experiences on pastors, expecting them to have some sort of spine-tingling story of how they were called to the ministry when there is nothing in the Bible saying anything like that! Pastors are to “aspire” to the ministry of overseeing a church and then must meet a list of qualifications that are overwhelmingly character-based (you can find those in Titus and 1 Timothy). But so often we ignore these qualifications, instead looking for people who can tell us a compelling story about how God gave them a mystical experience and told them they would pastor a church! Our revivalistic mysticism has taught us that we are to value people (pastors or otherwise) who can move our emotions and tell a good story.
So we become either 1. arrogant when we have “found our calling” (God has called me to this and no man can stop me!) (this is how we have so many abusive and unqualified pastors!) or 2. we become anxious and fearful of missing our calling! We have become so preoccupied with finding our calling that we have completely missed our true calling! It’s a completely unbiblical understanding of our calling as Christians. This has led to immense anxiety and arrogance in people (I’ve lived and seen both of those realities!), and I have even heard men and women talking about how they don’t want kids or are discontent in their life as parents because that wasn’t their true calling!
So what is our true calling as Christians? According to the Bible our calling is our call from Christ to be Christians, to being active in the unity of the Body of Christ, and to glorifying God in everything we do no matter what situation we find ourselves in!
Don’t you see how freeing that is? Once we understand that our calling is to seek for the glory of God to be in every corner of the earth through lost lambs of the flock of Christ being brought into the sheepfold we stop asking “what should I do next?” and start asking “how can I help?”. In my work, in my rest, in my childrearing, in my family, in my church, in my use of my money, in my aspirations for my life, in my bookreading, in my interactions with people who disagree with me, in my speech, in my thoughts, in my conduct, in my eating, in my drinking, in my marriage, in my home, in my entertainment, in my leisure - How can I help bring glory to God? This demystifies our decision making because it brings a clear and real goal to aim for. Once you bring your eyes up from your problem and see God’s glory it brings clarity that some of what you thought were solutions were really just you seeking to bring more glory or pleasure to yourself, or to feed your fear of man, instead of real solutions that could glorify God.
Christian, your call is to Christ’s flock and to bring glory to God. Whatever life stage you are in, you could even be in prison!, you are called to nothing more than to seek God’s glory in everything you do. This sets us free from second-guessing our decisions and whether we are in the will of God because the decisions stop being about us and start being about Him!
In our passage today, we see Joseph living this reality, but we also see a couple quick points that we don’t have time to get into deeply today.
God is sovereign over even good men (next week we will see He is sovereign over bad men too)
God comes to us.
We don’t work our way to Him
Christian, Jesus has called you to himself, by dying in your place, suffering the consequences of your sin, and through his resurrection and ascension has shown that what he promises is true and that he is preparing a place for his people. Your decision-making in life should be confidently based upon that reality. If you need some guidance in thinking about what that looks like in your particular situation, please come find me after the service and let’s find a time to talk together.
If you are not a Christian, consider this great hope that we here today speak and sing about. Consider that this could be yours too if you repent of your sin and your living for your own glory and turn to Jesus and trust in Him. If you have more questions about what that means and what that looks like, please come find me and talk to me. Don’t delay, you are not promised tomorrow.
Let’s Pray.