2 become 1

Intro

Happily ever After

When we find the right one, then everything will be… just right.

Happy is the epitome of marriage, and the other person is responsible for giving it to me.

Ergo, if I’m not happy, then they must not be the one for me…

I know we wouldn’t put it in these terms, but the wrong understanding creates a wrong picture of marriage.

And so often when our unrealistic expectations aren’t met it leads to frustration, disappointment and even failure.

(Have you ever felt it?)

We know there isn’t a prince charming riding into the rescue or a princess in a castle to ride away with.

You quickly realize…

Prince Charming isn’t always charming.

The same jokes get old.

He never puts the toilet seat down…

The Princess has a mother.

She didn’t learn to cook in ye olde castle.

The princess wasn’t held captive by the dragon… the dragon was held by the princess!

Here’s how we can view finding, THE ONE.

Illustration

Playdough heart half. Hold up,

You complete me!

When I’m happy, feel competed and fulfilled then marriage is great-you’re great.

If I lose my happy, life gets hard. Marriage must be the problem.

They no longer complete me.

It must be them. they weren’t the right fit.

I’ll just go and try again to find the right ONE.

Not only is it the wrong view of healthy relationship, it’s an impossible weight to add on the other person.

God is the designer and definer of marriage.

He gave us His picture of Marriage.

It’s actually more like this.

(Smush together)

NOT finding the One But…

2 Becoming 1.

Genesis 2:24

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Ephesians 5:31-32

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.”

I love Pauls commentary: It’s a profound mystery!!!

As you can imagine, this could have some complications.

Done God’s way, happiness and success are guaranteed.

Happiness becomes a by-product of a union blessed by God.

Most marriages probably wouldn’t say the feel like the are WINNING.

WE WIN, WHEN WE ARE ONE

What does becoming one even mean??

Can’t be thinking, personality, interests, preferences, even agreeing on everything.

(we are very different, examples:

I think black olives are gross.)

What is becoming one?

It’s the greatest picture of unity in the Bible.

Marriage is the picture that is used to most closely describe Christ’s love and unity with us as his people.

2 no longer exist as just 2 separate existing in proximity together.

They become something new, together.

Baking ingredients.

Let’s learn how 2 become 1.

1. It is built on God.

Genesis 1:26-27

Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

God’s design only works with God in it.

Genesis 1:28

God blessed them...

God can’t bless what he’s not in.

It’s only God who mysteriously brings you together as one.

Is God in your marriage?

I don’t mean in your wedding vows.

Is he center in your relationship?

Do you seek him together.

Worship together. Talk about Him together.

Pray together.

If God is optional, so is your marriage.

Too often other things become the center instead of God.

Emotions.

How I feel, instead of what God says.

86% of marriage that fail cited non-major reason.

Not abuse, cheating etc.

Just we didn’t feel it anymore, didn’t get along, irreconcilable differences.

God can’t bind together what he’s not brought into.

Children.

Children are a gift from God. But they aren’t a substitution for your spouse.

They are a temporary assignment.

Your spouse is your permanent union.

Kids… Jobs....

Where is God in your marriage?

After thought?

2. Partnered Together.

Genesis 1:28

God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.

Genesis 2:18

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.

Only time God said something wasn’t good about his creation, when he saw a guy by himself.

Now together, they can fully accomplish God’s purposes.

Helper = Ezer in Hebrew.

Not just some assistant to come and help do the work.

Not less than.

Majority of the times this word is used is talking about God coming to the rescue, he’s the Ezer for God’s people.

God didn’t create an employee, he created a partner.

Ephesians 5 describes this divine partnership.

Ephesians 5:21

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

mutuality.

Ephesians 5:22-30

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body.

Too many balk at this scripture. De-valuing God’s way.

It’s a divine partnership, each with our roles in unity.

Man - Head

Means both as in leadership, but also as in a source.

the mouth of a river...

Brings life down river.

The husband should be the most life giving person in his wifes life!!

No domineering/in charge/

Not about lordship it’s about leadership.

Not about authority, its about responsibility.

This is a call to spiritual leadership men!

Leadership… of LOVE.

I care for. Love. Lift up. Nurture. Sacrifice.

I am to love and lead in such a way that it makes her better! More like Jesus.

It builds her.

Woman’s greatest need is security.

Done God’s way, man doesn’t subjugate a woman.

He actually fulfils her greatest need.

Woman - Submission

Not demeaning, less than view of women.

Not value, not worth or position.

It’s about honor, respect.

This is actually mans greatest need.

Isn’t it crazy that God knows our greatest needs and provides someone to fulfill it!!

Divine partnership.

But what if shes doesn’t honor and respect me???

See what selflessly loving, valuing and cherishing her will do!

But what if he isn’t very loving and honorable?

Your honor and respect can actually raise him up the level he should be and could be.

I am for YOU.

You are FOR me.

Together we are unstoppable for God’s kingdom!

Its a process.

of learning and growing, trusting God and each other.

I’ve never felt more confident than in this season. And it’s been 20 years of marriage.

3. With Nothing Between

Genesis 2:24-25

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Genesis 3:6-7

When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

Naked and unashamed.

Sin entered, they covered.

Intimacy.

Vulnerability. Allowing the other to see the real us. pain and all.

Connection.

Communication.

Safety.

If you are covering up, hiding from your spouse you will never be one.

Should be the safest person in the world to be fully exposed with and feel completely safe.

If you don’t have that, ask why.

Even discuss it together.

What is coming between you?

That is dividing you!!

maybe past hurt carried over to current reality keeping you from oneness.

the enemy wants to place things between us to divide us.

You have to beware of the voices you allow to enter your marriage.

Genesis 3:1

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

The enemy Divides and conquers.

God unites and conquers.

If you aren’t feeling this in your marriage, there can be restoration.

It’s not time to go find another and start over.

CONCLUSION.

You can be happy, but your called to be one.

We Win when were One.

There is no more fulfilling relationship in the world than a marriage done God’s way.

It’s not always easy.

it takes work.

But it’s so worth it.

happily ever after… not so easy.

But God’s way, it’s even better!