How to be More Attractive

How-To’s

How to be more attractive. Maybe not what you think. I talked last week about how good relationships attract ppl to Jesus and how rule repel, repulse, push ppl away.

This is where we will end up today.

But, if you’re like me, you hear the pastor say, “This is how to...” whatever, you might be a little skeptical.

The 80s were full of books about ‘How-to’s”.

How to have the perfect lawn or garden.

How to have the best golf swing and score low.

How to have the perfect body in 3 easy steps.

Barbie and Ken are the models. Like that’s real.

How to be a millionaire by the time you’re 30.

Flip houses. Buy these investments.

How to lead difficult ppl.

How to build a big church.

How to have a perfect marriage.

How to raise perfect kids.

How to parent difficult kids.

Here we are, 40 years later, and I’m not sure how effective those books, seminars, conferences, and classes were.

Some of us are still difficult children.

The modern spin on this is YouTube. But these videos seem to be much more practical and useful.

I had to change the battery in my GMC. You’d think, simple, right? No.

There are bars that go over it, wires that go around it, and the engineer who designed the space for it must have been tiny person b/c there’s no way to get you hands around it to lift it out.

Not to mention, it helps to be 6’ tall to get up high enough to do it.

Step-by-step. Wrench for this. Screwdriver for that. Pull these over here. Push that aside. Pull it out. Oh ya, bandaids for you knuckles.

There was one frustrating moment in it when they skipped a step. There’s this bundle of wires that are in the way. What do I do w/ them?

Turns out, on an 8-yr old vehicle, the harness was just stiff, not stuck. So, I could force it aside.

But see, that’s my problem. I’ve broken too many things that are stuck by forcing them making the situation even harder to fix. What’s stuck vs. just stiff?

How to do plumbing jobs, toilets and leaky valves.

How to do electrical jobs, replace plugs, ceiling fans and wires.

How to clean your gun. I can even get a mat that shows all the parts and pieces that need to be cleaned.

Video. Pictures. Step by step procedures. I can watch it, then do it.

All these are very helpful to a guy like me that spent a lot of time on a baseball diamond as a kid, but no time handling tools and fixing things.

I am grateful to friends like Jim, Tom H. and Tom G., and others who have helped me w/ projects around my house.

It’s the how-to’s that I need to know. Some things you just can’t hire out.

You can’t really hire out raising your kids either.

Here’s another one, too, we need to figure out.

How to live our lives like Jesus wants us to, to get everything he offers out of it. While not just waiting for heaven, but living the best life now.

Wouldn’t it be great if Jesus posted a YouTube video on this one?

2000 years ago, He kind of did. Not video. But Matthew and Luke recorded a sermon that the point is how to live our lives here and now getting the best of what we can from God while we’re here.

Here are couple of hints going into this. There’s nothing about how to get rich. Nothing about marriage, or family, or careers. Nothing about physical fitness or our health.

To get the best of what’s possible in this life from God has little to do w/ any of these things.

But to do what Jesus says will enable us to get what God offers so that our marriages and families, our finances and health, and our churches and ministries will be better.

There is nothing in this passage directly about these things. But, if we are intentional about what Jesus says here, then we will indirectly be better in these areas of our lives.

This is the Sermon on the Mount. It spans 3 chapters in Matthew. Luke abbreviates it to about half of chapter 6.

We’re going to look at the first 16 verses of Mt. 5. It’s also called the beatitudes. Be this way. Have these attitudes and you’ll be blessed by God.

Jesus presented it as a list. Do these things, then you’ll get blessed by God. I’ll define them all and I think the applications at the end will be fairly obvious.

Blessed

“Blessed are those who are...”

Blessed means, deeply contented, satisfied. At peace in life.

More than happy. Feeling like you lack nothing significant. No unmet pangs.

John 16:33 NIV

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Jesus promised we’d have trouble. We live in a fallen world, under the effects of sin. Things break. PPL are fundamentally flawed. The idea that ppl are confused about their ID apart from Christ is a no-brainer. B/C, the ID we are born w/ is broken. When we come to Christ, we give him our broken ID, and He gives us a new ID that we can spend the rest of our lives discovering what it is. It’s new. It’s perfect for us.

We still fight what’s in us that’s broken. But, when Jesus overcame the world, He made it possible for us to overcome what’s broken in us, too.

Another issue we have to sort thru is, what in the Xian life is unconditional and what is conditional.

This will start fights and split churches if we’re not careful.

Salvation is free. Unconditional. Faith alone saves you. When you’re saved, the HS comes to indwell you, live inside of you, and He brings resources w/ Him.

We have all the resources we are going to get. All of us have all these things. They are free. We have access to all the peace, joy, patience, wisdom, self-control, strength, love, goodness, and things like this, we will ever need.

Then, there are abilities that are dealt out. No one has all of them. But, everyone has at least one of them. They are spiritual gifts. They are listed in 1 Cor., Romans, and Ephesians.

Things like special teaching abilities, leadership, administration, being merciful, hospitable, things like this.

When you come to faith, the HS brings these things w/ Him into you. You have them. They are free.

Fruit and gifts are free. But, unlocking their potential, being able use them to their maximum effectiveness is dependent upon some things.

Their potential is conditional.

In some ways, they are like muscles. We have to go to the gym to exercise these muscles to get their potential out of them.

In some ways, they are like skills. We have to practices these skills to develop them and maintain them. If you stop cooking, singing, riding a bike; then you can lose some of the ability. You won’t be as good or as proficient as you used to be. It won’t come as easily as it used to.

You’ve still got it all. But, you’re not using it to its potential.

2 Peter 1:3 NIV

His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.

We have been given everything we need for a godly life. If that’s so, why aren’t more of us living more of that godly life? Why are we so stressed? Why aren’t we satisfied w/ who are and where we are and what we have?

Why aren’t we content in our marriages, w/ our kids, w/ out bodies and our health.

Yes, they are breaking down. That’s b/c we live in a world that is deeply effected by sin.

But, we can still be contented and satisfied living in our broken bodies, w/ less than perfect husbands and kids, w/out having to look like Barbie or Ken, w/out being a millionaire, consistently having high golf scores, and low production in our gardens.

How? How do I unlock the potential of the basket of fruit the HS brought w/ Him? How do I maximize the effectiveness of the gifts and abilities God has given me?

How do I do more that just survive, but thrive in the abundant life God offers when there is such a lack of abundance in my bank acct, lack of love in my marriage, lack of effort and involvement from my kids, and lack of strength in my muscles and joints?

How can I live a blessed life in spite of everything else?

The beatitudes. They are character traits. Character is who you are when no one else is around.

If these characteristics are fundamental to who you are whether anyone is looking or not, you are much more likely to be living a blessed life.

And, to the extent these character traits are you highest priority in life, will have an impact on the potential blessing you experience from God.

If we exhibit, employ, commit to these characteristics in our lives then, we will be blessed by God.

These are characteristics, attitudes, that prompt action. W/out action, then they are just words. You might mean to, but you don’t really

Let’s get into them. There are 8.

First characteristic:

Poor in Spirit

Matthew 5:3 NIV

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Poor: Destitute. Beggar. Bankrupt. Nada. Nil. Nothing to offer.

Not materially, poor. But if you recognize you have nothing of value to offer God except what God gives you to offer back, you are poor in spirit.

Utter and complete dependence on God for your life, for everything.

There is no curve in God’s grading system. You might look around the room and think you’re better than half, or at least better than that guy, that woman, thinking that gets you close to God. At least closer than them.

None of that matters. None of us have anything of value that God would be interested in getting from us or giving us something to get it.

This is a key component of our saving faith. The faith that saves you. We don’t expect anyone to fully understand this when they first come to faith. But, this is what we expect everyone to learn about their faith.

Faith + what I have to offer isn’t enough to save you. Faith alone is. If anything, what we have to offer takes away from our faith. If we think we have something of value to offer God, then we don’t understand what our faith really is.

Those who have faith, this kind of faith, faith that believes you have nothing else to offer but faith, faith in Jesus, are saved and get to go to heaven. The kingdom of heaven is ours. We will get there when we leave this life.

If you understand and believe how destitute you are in this life, completely dependent on God, then you will be blessed by God; experiencing everything that blessing offers.

Second characteristic:

Mourning

Matthew 5:4 NIV

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

This is not about ppl who walk around crying, depressed all the time.

Mourning is associated w/ confession of sin. When you own what you do wrong; admit it, apologize for it, adapt to doing things differently; it affects you emotionally.

Facing what we do wrong and making the necessary changes to do it right, do it differently next time; requires some strength and security. But, when we do, it produces comfort.

We are comforted by God when we face our mistakes and the deficit they create, then make the necessary changes to stop doing them.

If we avoid facing these things, compartmentalize our lives, live in denial, then the comfort we find will be fleeting and shallow.

God’s blessing is deep and satisfying. When he comforts us, it lasts.

Jesus, in this sermon, not only has the new believers in mind, he has the old religious leaders in mind, too.

The Pharisees believed they didn’t sin. They had no reason to mourn or confess anything. Jesus was trying to help them understand what Isaiah wrote and Paul will later write “We all, like sheep go astray.” “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

No one is exempt. We may know a guy who thinks he’s all that. For whatever reason, he cannot face his failures. Maybe thinking, he can find his own contentment and comfort.

Trust me. Trust Jesus on this. Whatever comfort he thinks he has is not deep and lasting.

3rd characteristic:

Meekness

Matthew 5:5 NIV

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Sometimes we get the idea that meekness is weakness. Quite the opposite.

Many of us have examples of meekness around our houses.

This winter, w/ all the snow, we lost 6 or 8 trees and big branches. They broke off under the weight of the snow. Almost all of the broken trees are oaks and junipers, hard woods. You’d think, hard wood is the strongest wood.

Yet, the pine trees w/ the soft wood didn’t break. They are strong enough to w/stand the weight of 200” of snow from Nov. thru March.

What did they do? They bent over. In some cases, they bent all the way to the ground. But, they did not break.

The pine trees are meek, not weak. They flexed w/ the forces of nature under the weight of the snow and are in the process of standing back up, straight as the weather warms and sun comes out.

Meek is pliable. Strong. Recognizes God’s authority on your life and you allow God to influence you whatever way He wants to take you. You humbly submit to His authority in every single area of your life. Unquestioning. Respectfully.

Wherever you lead, I will follow. Whatever you ask, I will give.

PPL who are like the hard woods, stand strong. But, are stiff-necked, stubborn, refusing to allow God any authority to influence their behavior.

We tend to think the weak will get trampled on and get nothing value.

The meek will not only get to heaven, but assist Jesus in ruling the earth during His kingdom reign.

4th characteristic:

Hunger & Thirst for Righteousness

Matthew 5:6 NIV

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

This describes ppl who are desperate. Their situ is dire. They will die if their hunger and thirst is not quenched.

Remember when the hurricane destroyed an island in Florida? The bridge from the mainland to the island was impassible. They lost all their utilities. No water. No power. Their refrigerators were dead and their food rotting.

If helicopters didn’t bring supplies the ppl would be dead in less than a week. They say a person can live for 3 minutes w/out oxygen, 3 days w/out water, and 3 weeks w/out food.

This characteristic describes ppl like those islanders who were desperate for food and water or else they would die. This is not the characteristic of the ppl in Munds Park, when our power goes out, but we have pantries full of food, stocked firewood piles or pellets, and a church that’s open to warm up and charge our phones and computers.

The water company had to bring a big generator to operate the water pumps around town.

Hunger and thirst for a close relationship w/ God like your very life depends on it; not like your pantry is full and you can survive just fine w/out it, only a little inconvenienced.

We will be filled. Satisfied. Deeply contented. Blessed.

Characteristic #5

Merciful

Matthew 5:7 NIV

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

My great grandmother’s favorite word, “Mercy!”

Being merciful is when you respond to the needs of others, esp those who don’t deserve your help.

PPL, by nature, are selfish, deserving of nothing good, nor looking to do good for others.

God helps us when we are in need even in our selfish state. When we overcome our selfishness and give good things to other ppl, God blesses us w/ good things we don’t deserve.

Similar to grace. But mercy is not getting ignored when we deserved t/b ignored.

When the power goes out, we invite ppl over or dig them out and give them a ride to the church. We provide meals when they are busy and overwhelmed w/ life.

The merciful are intentional and active looking for ways to help ppl who deserve to be ignored.

6th characteristic:

Pure in Heart

Matthew 5:8 NIV

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

Free from impurity. Free from the inward effects of sin. Forgiven. Washed clean.

Obviously related to those who mourn and have confess their sin. These complete the repentance process and change their behavior.

When we sin it hurts us deeply. We can deny it. But denial is more than just a river in Egypt. It does not negate sin’s effect on us and the ppl we love.

When a plants roots get harmed, the plan dies. A plant can be pruned and fruit can be harvested. That actually makes the plant healthier. But, hurt the root and kill the plant.

Sin hurts our roots, our heart deep w/in us.

And, God cannot be seen w/ nor seen by someone who is deep in their sin and has not experienced the cleansing that Jesus provides.

Deal w/ your sin, stop doing it, and be blessed.

7th characteristic:

Peacemaker

Matthew 5:9 NIV

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

This means at peace w/ God. Not just at peace w/ other ppl. At peace w/ God means you’ve dealt w/ your stuff that causes conflict w/ God. Related to what He’s already said.

You are peace w/ God on his terms. Not demanding he meet yours or allow you to get away w/ what he doesn’t want you to do.

Peace w/ other ppl is a priority, but our highest priority is peace w/ God, doing what He wants us to be doing.

Characteristic #8:

Persecuted

Matthew 5:10–12 NIV

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

This has not really been an issue for Xians in this country until recently. And, it’s getting worse.

The best/worst example of this is the horrible school shooting in Nashville recently. To watch almost all the MSM, they represented the shooter as a victim and the church and school as somehow responsible.

They didn’t blame the 9-year olds or the adults for getting themselves shot. They blamed the culture of Xians and their Xianity promoted in the school.

They sympathized w/ the transgender woman whose lifestyle was not affirmed in that setting. Wherever you land on this issue, no one is justified in killing anyone else no matter how accepted or rejected they feel. There are acceptable ways of dealing w/ it and shooting ppl of faith is not one of them.

That said, persecution for our faith is going to become a much more prevalent deal for us and the upcoming generations.

Paul wrote in Romans 8 that whatever we suffer here, will be completely overwhelmed w/ glory once we get to the kingdom of heaven.

8 characteristics, that if these are your priority in life, not your health, wealth, nor power nor having the most obedient children.

If these are your priority and the describe you and how you act, then God will bless you and you will be deeply contented.

W/ that happening, ppl will notice and you will have the opportunity to influence them to find the same contentment you have.

Jesus said so.

Be More Attractive

Matthew 5:13–16 NIV

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

Today, we know salt as a preservative. And, that may be a good illustration of preserving lives for eternity.

But, in c.1, it was used to create a thirst. When the body needs fluids, quenching that thirst maintains life.

Character is who we are in private. No one needs to know. But ppl will notice the effects of being blessed by God. This isn’t heaven. We’ll have our issues. But we can be satisfied and content in spite of the issues.

The salt we exhibit should make ppl thirst for their own relationship w/ God, to get what we have.

And as light, we can show them the way to get it. Light illuminates the path to avoid pitfalls, prevent stumbling, and get to where we want go and help others get there w/ us.

Be more attractive. Not in appearance. But attract ppl to Jesus in the way you live your life and represent Him and the Xian life to those around you

We don’t need YouTube, TicTok, FB, Instagram, Twitter or any other social media to show us how Jesus wants us to live. He told us. And, if we live this way, if our character is molded and represents these qualities we will be positively reinforced to continue to live this way.

How does Jesus want us to live our lives?

Are we to live in way to see how little we can do for Jesus and how much we can get away w/? Too many Xians seem to live this way.

Those teenagers who are dating. How far can we go w/ out going too far? If you’re asking that question, then you’ve already gone too far.

Adults: selfish can I be and still be considered humble before God? Not really much at all.

If contentment is what you want. If you want to be deeply satisfied in your life regardless of how much stuff you have or how attentive your husband and kids are; then this is how you get it.

And, from this, the applications ought to be clear.

Applications

Time with God

Are your worship experiences, bible studies, and quiet times casual and occasional? Mindless and whenever you get around to it if it’s convenient?

Or are you intentional, daily, engaged and active?

Just b/c you’re in the room on Sunday mornings does not mean you are worshiping. Linda, Jim, and I present you the opportunity. What you do w/ it is up to you.

Are you desperate for God. Or do you do you spiritual life like your pantry is full, and these things are an inconvenience.

Engage w/ God. Every opportunity you have. And make opportunities whenever you can.

Ready?

There is a culture war brewing and it is growing in intensity. Are you ready to declare your side?

The 2 sides of this war are those who believe they are God versus those who believe they are not God.

Those of us who believe we are not God, are completely dependent on Him for everything we need. Those who believe they are God depend on themselves.

Are you ready to declare your side.

You have to be ready before your faced w/ the decision. Are you?

Influence

Influence is more like fruit. You don’t plant an apple seed expecting an apple to grow on the ground.

The first thing you see is a twig. In about 5 years you’ll have your first few apples on the tree and they are inedible.

To get apples, you have to work the soil and prune the tree. Apples result.

If you want influence, work your character and prune you lifestyle.

If you are successful, in time, you will have influence and ppl will follow where you lead them. They will want to be where you are and have what you have.

Work the soil of you character in private. Prune your public lifestyle and activities. Then, in time, you will have influence.

You will be more attractive, attracting more ppl to Jesus and the Xian lifestyle.

How to live our lives like Jesus wants us to, to get everything he offers out of it. While not just waiting for heaven, but living the best life now.

Wouldn’t it be great if Jesus posted a YouTube video on this one?

Here are couple of hints going into this. There’s nothing about how to get rich. Nothing about marriage, or family, or careers. Nothing about physical fitness or our health.

To get the best of what’s possible in this life from God has little to do w/ any of these things.

But to do what Jesus says will enable us to get what God offers so that our marriages and families, our finances and health, and our churches and ministries will be better.

There is nothing in this passage directly about these things. But, if we are intentional about what Jesus says here, then we will indirectly be better in these areas of our lives.