Discerning what is pleasing
Ephesians 5:1–21 (ESV)
Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, “Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of fear of Christ.
As I have tried to show for these several years, we do not give near enough thought, attention, or energy to the work of discerning what is pleasing to the Lord - and what it means to fear Christ. Instead, the vast majority of our lives are spent on a sort of auto-pilot.
We zone out and end the day and wonder where the time and words went. And, because many of us have been trained by the Gospel and by circumstance, most of our days end without any particular difficulty. We wake with more or less the same pains we had the day before. We eat more or less the same foods we have eaten for many years. We do more or less the same tasks we have always done.
And so, we simply walk wherever our feet take us without hardly a moments thought as to whether that particular path is the way God would have us walk as his beloved child. We assume, because we have done something similar hundreds or thousands of times, that it must be just fine in God’s book.
But I urge you, do not live this way. Unthinking Christians, who are unaware of the day to day are not walking in ways that please the Lord. Pleasing the Lord is not difficult, but it is work. The fear of the Lord cannot be kept if no thought is given to Him to whom we must give an account.
You might sum up the first half of Ephesians 5 by saying:
Pleasing the Lord is imitating Him as His children.
Pleasing the Lord is exposing sin with the brightness of Christ.
Pleasing the Lord is being filled with the Spirit.
The first several verses of chapter 5 give us the command to imitate God as beloved children. The apostle names several particulars that displease Him, and last week we spoke about the filthiness of them, particularly of covetousness and empty talking. Knowing God’s good Word is the only way to know how to imitate Him. He has perfectly given us all that we need to live lives pleasing to God. As 2 Peter 1:3-4 says “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them (that is, the promises) you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.”
And after that, we see that pleasing the Lord involves not only avoiding sin and replacing it with godliness and thankfulness, but pleasing the Lord is also found in exposing sin. Ephesians 5:11 “Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.”
The light of the Gospel is an exposing light because Christ is an exposing light. We spent several weeks this past Advent seeing that God desires the world to know its sin - so that the world might repent and believe.
When we see sin in others, when we sin especially in close quarters, it is our temptation to ignore it and let it be. After all, we think, what is it to me that they are doing dark deeds? But we ought to be eager to please the Lord and “make the best use of the time.” Remember, eternity hangs in the air every moment. We do not know when the person we are with may be called to the grave and we do not know whether our words to them might be the dawning of the light of the Gospel by exposing their sin.
The Apostle reminds us in:
2 Corinthians 5:9–11 ESV
So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil. Therefore, knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade others. But what we are is known to God, and I hope it is known also to your conscience.
For the entire time I have been with you, I have emphasized over and again, the necessity of the fear of of the Lord. It is the only antidote to the fear of man. And only when we rightly fear our Maker does the fear of man appear small. We may easily offend the person we are exposing, and they may very well say things to us or to others that intend to harm us. But words of men have no eternal power. They do not have the power of life or death. They can neither save the soul from hell nor send it there. But God does have the eternal power to damn or to save.
Work to please the Lord then and expose the dark deeds you encounter. We should never be ashamed of such work but should, rather, be ashamed if we do not do this work.
There are always many things we might do in a given day. We could go to the grocery store. We could go to the post office. We could get an oil change. But if there was something that we knew was the best use of time, wouldn’t we rather do that?
I don’t think that the apostle is saying that exposing sin is always the best use of time -but rather seeking to please the Lord in any given situation is the best use of the time. Matthew Henry comments:
Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible: Complete and Unabridged in One Volume (Ephesians 5:3–20)
Our time is a talent (he is using this word talent as our Lord did in His parable) Our time is a talent given us by God for some good end, and it is misspent and lost when it is not employed according to his design
Can you hope to discover the best use of time without knowing well the Lord of Glory whom we are to imitate? Do not do the things that displease and grieve Him. Do what good children do. Expose the deeds of darkness so that the light of Christ will shine. And God will help you discern what is the best use of time at any given moment. But, if you are not considering your days. If you are not giving time and thought to what you are doing, to what you are saying, then you cannot hope to please the Lord.
Can you hope to understand the will of the Lord without first being acquainted with Him and what He has done? Of course not, so you must work to know God in His Good Word so that you might discern what the will of the Lord is. In that way, you will make the best use of time and then, please Him.
The apostle gives us a second generality for pleasing the Lord - Ephesians 5:18 “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit,”
Drunkenness takes away our inhibitions and gives us over to our base desires. It makes us unreasonable and unable to consider what a good decision is. The drunken fool demands his keys and says he is fit to drive and then murders a family. The drunken man gives himself over to anger and abuses his children. The drunken man does not think of the illness of tomorrow in his hangover, but ignores the fallout that is sure to come.
Not so with the Christian. Not so with those who are the sons of God. We are filled with the Spirit. This makes us reasoning, thinking, and able to live restrained lives.
Romans 8:5–9 ESV
For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him.
If we are aiming to please the Lord by gladly submitting to the law of God, then being filled with the Spirit is the only way. It makes us reasoning men who can discern properly how best to use the time and to imitate the Lord of heaven and earth.
And the comparison to drunkenness is also the desire for excess. And this excess is debauchery. We should desire an excess of the Spirit, though. As Matthew Henry says:
Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible: Complete and Unabridged in One Volume Ephesians 5:3–20
The meaning of the exhortation is that men should labour for a plentiful measure of the graces of the Spirit, that would fill their souls with great joy, strength, and courage, which things sensual men expect their wine should inspire them with. We cannot be guilty of any excess in our endeavours after these: nay, we ought not to be satisfied with a little of the Spirit, but to be aspiring after measures, so as to be filled with the Spirit.
A man given to drunkenness wants the full measure of it - all that he can stomach. Wrongly thinking that filling his mind with alcohol will be pleasing and good. But, thankfully, there is no bad end to being filled with Spirit of God. We cannot, as it were, have to much. There is no excess. So, we can rightly desire to be filled more and more - like the drunk with his desire for more - but with the great grace that desiring to be filled with God’s Spirit is only a good thing.
And where is this Spirit-filling at its apex? Where the saints are gathered in grateful song to one another and the Lord. Making the glories of the Lord shine out in song and thanks and submission.
Ephesians 5:18-21 “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
Singing and thanksgiving and submission are found when we are filled with God’s Spirit. These first two make some sense to us. Giving glory to God in song and thanksgiving is pleasing both to us and to Him. It is a delight to our souls to sing. It is a delight to our souls to hear others sing. And it is a delight to our souls to do so with thankfulness in our hearts to God through Christ Jesus.
But submission? How could this possibly be on the same plane as the singing of songs and thankfulness to God? Is this really the fruit and the place where the filling of the Spirit is found?
Yes, for at least two reasons.
It is impossible to submit to one another in fear to Christ without the filling of the Spirit. Yes, fear of Christ. Our translation this morning uses “reverence” but it is the word fear. John Calvin says
Commentaries on the Epistles of Paul to the Galatians and Ephesians Ephesians 5:21–27
But as nothing is more irksome to the mind of man than this mutual subjection, he directs us to the fear of Christ, who alone can subdue our fierceness, that we may not refuse the yoke, and can humble our pride, that we may not be ashamed of serving our neighbours. It does not much affect the sense, whether we interpret the fear of Christ, passively, thus,—let us submit to our neighbours, because we fear Christ; or actively,—let us submit to them, because the minds of all godly persons ought to be influenced by such fear under the reign of Christ
Submission to one another is not a natural, fleshly desire. But thinking submission in the fear of Christ is a Spirit-led reality.
2. The fruit of submission is evident to all. Paul will shortly give examples of submission of wives to husbands, children to parents, and slaves to masters. He gives the fruit of these godly submissions - removing blemishes, inheriting the land, receiving good from the Lord. And what can be more Spirit-filled than bringing joy to the hearts of God’s people and visible fruit of salvation that can be seen by all?
Submission of men to rulers is essential to faithfully living lives that please God. Those who refuse to submit cannot please Him. Those that willingly and gladly do so, in their various places, are a happy fruit of the Spirit-filled church.
Now, this being my last sermon with you, I thought I would take some time to address particular things before I leave. And, as the Lord would have it, “try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord” is a fitting summation to my ministry. What then, would be pleasing to the Lord, today? What would have been pleasing to him these past months? What will please Him in the future?
The last several months have been particularly challenging in the life of our church. You are aware, at least in part, of some of what has transpired. There can be no doubt, that God has been trying this church - testing it as through fire. I would be lying if I thought those who are, in some sense, the leaders locally, have been found true and faithful. They have not. You may think it is improper to say so - but I assure you, the Scriptures are full of rebukes of those who would pretend to be wise in this age but who have not, in fact, done what is pleasing to the Lord.
One of the most striking features of the disagreements has been the sudden disappearance of those who claim that all they do is for the sake of the church. Yet, what is more telling: a word saying it is love, or action of staying and doing the work of reconciliation?
If, in order to show their love they refuse to do the lawful work of gathering with the saints as God has clearly commanded in Hebrews 10:23-25 “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” - If they have thrown off the gathering and say “we are working on behalf of the church” - you can be sure that they are doing no such thing. For, you cannot say you are working to please the Lord if you are disobeying His clear commands. And gathering with the saints you have covenanted with through vows and promises is a clear command of God. It pleases Him when you do it - and it displeases Him, it grieves Him, when you do not.
What has come from various disagreements about who should be ruling elders, when we should install them, whether the letter we wrote was a good decision, and whether my preaching is any good - these are places where disagreements will certainly arise. But, to throw off the gathering of the saints because of these sorts of disagreements is base disobedience to God. If we are supposed to try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord, the easiest place to start is to do what He has clearly commanded. Disagreements about how to conduct the orderly worship of the Lord are not reason to abandon the gathering.
Now, at this point, I know there are even the most loving of me who are upset that I have said what I have said. You think it is improper to speak publicly about things that have been private. But these things are no longer private - you are voting today on the word of men who have refused to worship with you. The Apostle Paul did not blush when naming names. 2 Timothy 4:10 “For Demas, in love with this present world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica. ” 2 Timothy 1:15 “You are aware that all who are in Asia turned away from me, among whom are Phygelus and Hermogenes.”
This is, of course, counter to much of what we think to be Christian speaking - to purposefully mention disputes and the names of those in them
I urge you then, who may have been less active in the division to consider well whether men who abandon argument and foment division are worthy men who walk in ways that please the Lord.
Now, because I will not be with you again in the gathered fellowship - I urge you, individually to consider what my ministry has been. I believe, that I have as Paul says to the Ephesian elders “Acts 20:20-21 “not shrunk from declaring to you anything that was profitable, and teaching you in public and from house to house, testifying both to Jews and to Greeks of repentance toward God and of faith in our Lord Jesus Christ.”
You may disagree with my methods. You may think I have been ineffective. You may think I have erred at various points. You may think I have sinned at others. And, I freely admit, you are probably correct in some, or all, of your observations. But, in it all, I have sought to do what pleases the Lord - and God has clearly spelled out what pleases Him among His pastors. Declaring, teaching, admonishing, rebuking, encouraging, exhorting. And these I have sought to do. And I have sought to do them publicly, both in the pulpit and the square, and in private in your homes and in mine.
If this church should continue on, with any sort of hope, you must find a man committed to the same. He can be, in any number of ways, quite different from me - but you must not hire a man who whispers niceties to you. I cannot urge you enough in this matter.
And, you will have a difficult time of it. There are not many men who are so committed. This is not me attempting to brag upon myself, but a simple observation of the times. Will he stand against the sexual onslaught of the coming generations? Will he stand against the feminization of the church and the pulpit? Will he remind you of the horror of the public murder of abortion? Perhaps you have thought that I am too direct in my preaching about such things. But, I urge you, do not find a man any less convicted than I am about such things.
And, as far as it concerns you, aim to live in humble submission to the man who pastors you. Hebrews 13:17 “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.”
One of the prominent sins that those who desire to lead you have, is their unwillingness to be led. They bucked against the decisions, rulings, and judgments of myself and the elders. When we gave them answers to their questions, they were unsatisfied and demanded a different outcome. And, when they did not receive their desired response, they left. But, I ask you, is this the way you submitted to your own father? By refusing to submit to a judgment and decision? By walking out?
Just as I preached back in May of 2020 - we obeyed the mask mandates. And in January of 2021 - we did not riot. I preached against rebellion. Why? Because even if we disagreed with our rulers, God has given us our rulers - He has done it. And, as long as they do not lead us into sin, we owe them obedience.
So I urge you, if you are to continue on as a body in some way, do not submit to men who refuse to submit. But, instead, find a faithful man who will feed you the Word and submit to him. Do not do this “with groaning” - but with joy.
I say these things to warn you.
So, that is my word to those who may have been outside the main fray. Beware those who have not been with you. Hire a good man if you stay. Submit to him.
Now, a word for a minute, to the children and youth. At times, you have been more or less aware that there are difficulties with the church. Perhaps you feel that you should have been more informed. Perhaps you will feel later that you wish you knew less. It might be that you think I or your parents, ought to have said or done something differently. You may think that others should have done differently.
First, let me assure you, that there are certainly a good number of things said and done on all sides that have not pleased the Lord. Many of them, to be sure, have been invisible - but still grievous to the Spirit of God. So, in that you may very well be right.
But, secondly, let me urge you not to too quickly judge your elders in all this - and by elders, I mean those who are older. Be patient as you try to understand what happened and why. Do not harbor bitterness in your heart, but regularly confess it to God. Try to please him in all that you do.
And, third, do not grow weary in serving the Lord. It is not for no reason that you and your families are here. God has placed us together for His own reasons - so ask Him what you might learn about yourself, about others, and about Himself. Try to discern how you might better please God in your own life considering the sins and grievances of others. And remember what you learn - for 1 Corinthians 10:13 says “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”
One of the many ways of escape that God provides is in showing us various situations full of faith and sin, so that we might remember that they are common. And so we might discern how best to please Him should we find ourselves in something similar.
Now to all, as I conclude, you have been given the Spirit of God if you are His children. And that Spirit helps you think clearly about the will of God. Work to discern what will please your Father. Keep the fear of God before your eyes. Order your days and steps with thoughtful obedience to the one who gave himself for you as an offering and sacrifice. Let the Word of God dwell in you richly. And God, who Himself bought you, will raise you up on the last day.