Generous Words

Introduction

We’ve been talking about generosity the last few weeks.

As we talked about at the beginning of this series, typically when we think about generosity we think about sharing our money and possessions with others. Maybe we think about doing things for others without looking for something in return.

However, an often overlooked area of generosity is being generous with our words.

In fact, we probably have more opportunities for this day-in-and-day-out. And, let’s be honest, we probably struggle with this as much, if not more than we do with being generous with our money, possessions, or time.

But what does it mean to be generous with our words? Does it simply mean we need to be nice to people? Or, is there more to it? That will be our focus this morning.

Body: Matthew 7:1-5

Verses 1-2

Verse one is, quite possibly the most misquoted verse in all the NT...

What it doesn’t mean...

Discerning between right and wrong...

Tolerating all views and behaviors as equally valid...

That we protect ourselves by never calling out sin...

What it actually means...

The word “judge” here is in the present imperative sense, which suggests not making a habit of judging others, or not making it your practice to judge others.

The idea it carries is to pass a sentence, as a judge in a court of law, condemning people for what you perceive to be their faults.

Typically this is done self-righteously, without mercy or love.

It is different than discernment.

Discernment is the necessary practice of determining if certain actions are right or wrong, according to the truth of God’s Word.

For example:

If you say: “You did ________, and therefore you are a bad person is judgmental.”

If you say, “You did __________, and that doesn’t line up with biblical morality, therefore you must repent, is discernment.”

Remember the context:

The Jewish leaders had changed the standard of religion and morality away from Scripture alone to their own interpretations of Scripture. Thus, it became easy for them to judge others because they set the standards they expected from everyone else.

The classic biblical illustration is found in Luke’s Gospel:

Luke 18:11–14 ESV

The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

What they did, and what we often do, took two main forms:

Criticize others unjustly.

Because we are not God, we cannot see the motives of someone’s heart.

What I mean by this is we often don’t get all the information before we start criticizing people.

In fact, more often than not, if we reserved our judgments and got more information, we’d see that our initial judgments were either incorrect or at least uninformed.

And, too often, we criticize others, not on biblical standards but our own.

This is no different than the Pharisees.

The question we must learn to ask ourselves is, “Who is the final judge, me or God?”

Additionally, our criticism is done behind the person’s back and without any desire to see the person get their life right with God, if indeed they are sinning.

Condemning others unmercifully.

Sometimes our criticisms are based on facts. Some people are sinning and we clearly see it.

In those cases, Matthew 18 gives us the guidance we need...

Our concern should always be to help others move from being mired in sin to living a life of holiness before God.

Condemning unmercifully doesn’t see another person as worthy of grace, but instead see him or her as deserving of our own version of justice.

For many of us, we want grace for ourselves, but justice for everyone else...

Our condemnation typically takes the form of harsh words, either to someone’s face or behind their back, that are not rooted in loving care, but in a self-righteous attitude that sees ourselves as morally superior to another person.

Thus, taming our tongue is vital:

James 3:7–10 ESV

For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.

Why should we avoid criticizing others unjustly and condemning others unmercifully? Look at verse two...

Because the same measure we use to judge others will be used against us...

A key question: Would you want to be judged by the same standard you judge others by?

Classic examples:

In the book of Esther, Haman is hung from the very same gallows that he erected in his attempt to hang Mordecai.

In Judges 1:6-7, Adoni-bezek had his thumbs and big toes cut off, as he had done to seventy other kings.

Outside of the Bible, in ancient Persia, Sisamnes, a corrupt judge who accepted a bribe and delivered an unjust verdict because of it, was executed by King Cambyses II. Sisamnes skin was then used to cover the judgment seat that all future Persia judges would sit on, reminding them of the consequences of judging unjustly.

The teaching is simple, yet profound:

If you judge without mercy, you will be judged without mercy.

If you judge kindly, you will also be judged kindly.

This doesn’t mean that justice is perverted or that we don’t point out sin. It means we confront sin in a spirit of love and concern, and in a way that will genuinely help others.

Verses 3-5

This hyperbolic illustration would have been humorous in the ANE, but more importantly it tells us a lot...

It creates the picture of a person with a large beam of wood in his eye trying to remove a small speck of sawdust or something from another person’s eye...

The small speck takes precision work, because it is small. One must have clear vision. With the log in your own eye, you will not have clear vision.

When one can remove a log (something far greater than the speck) then not only will they see clearly, but they will know how to help their brother remove their aliment!

Therefore, deal with your own sin first, because it will blind you on how to help your brother (or sister) in Christ...

Then, help your brother or sister in Christ as you have dealt with your sin...

People today often take the cop-out approach here. “Since I’m not perfect, I can’t tell someone else to stop sinning.” Wrong. Confess and repent of your sin, then help your brother or sister as well!

So What?

To live generously, I must not criticize others unjustly.

Instead of criticizing unjustly, we must learn to:

Withhold judgment until we know more information...

Stop gossip!

Give other people, particularly believers, the benefit of the doubt...

To live generously, I must not condemn others unmercifully.

Instead of condemning unmercifully, we must practice:

Prayerfully confronting sin biblically...

Care more about the person than their sin...

Confront with an eye towards holiness in the person’s life...

To live generously, I must confess and repent of my sins.

Our first question should always be: am I being a hypocrite?

If so, confess and repent of your own sin before confronting someone else of their sin.

To live generously, I must help others to confess and repent of their sins.

Again, we always have to have an eye towards helping others, not simply criticizing and/or condemning them.