All the feels / Romans 12:15

Yesterday, the United States Surgeon General declared an epidemic that has health risks as dangerous as smoking: loneliness.

Here is a quote from Dr. Murthy’s report,

"We now know that loneliness is a common feeling that many people experience. It's like hunger or thirst. It's a feeling the body sends us when something we need for survival is missing," "Millions of people in America are struggling in the shadows, and that's not right. That's why I issued this advisory to pull back the curtain on a struggle that too many people are experiencing."

Odds are high that many in this room are deeply lonely. You are struggling in the shadows.

Tonights text is going to practically teach us how to reverse this trend.

15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.

This church is instructed to embrace the emotions of others in the room. This idea is only possible if you live life “with” others.

One of the reasons loneliness is appealing is that we do not have to ride the rollercoaster of others highs and lows. If I’m a loner, I am in control of my feelings. But if you spend too much time lone you quickly realize that you wish others would notice you, talk to you, and feel your emotions.

One of the Jesus’ names is ‘Emmanuel’. The meaning of this name is “God with us.” God wanted to be with you. Instead of remaining in heaven in a spiritual form. He took on the human form. He had skin, bones, and breath. He did not leave you alone. He didn’t just know the human experience. He felt the human experience.

We are called to do the same with one another. It is tempting to stiff arm our friends to keep them at an emotionally safe distant. But to truly care for them, we are called to enter into their world. And we do that through emotion.

Here’s how: Rejoice with those who rejoice

We we care for those who are hurting, there is a reward for us. We feel needed. But to rejoice with those who are rejoicing is an entirely selfless act.

Think about the moment when homecoming queen and homecoming king is announced. Outwardly you may clap, but inwardly it is soooo easy to feel jealous. Especially if they got something you wanted.

Don’t even get me started on Instagram.

If we are looking for our value in work, beauty, recognition, power, or wealth it will be impossible for us to really be happy for others when they get what we want.

But when you find your value in God’s love for you, you are released to be happy for others, because you are content in God.

And when you deepen in your belief of God’s love for you, you will be able to...

weep with those who weep.

This passage does not say, give advice to those who weep. Cheer up those who weep. Walk away from those who weep.

We are called to be sad with those who are struggling. It provides quicker healing for them and reminds us that life isn’t all about ME.

Think about moments when you’ve been truly broken. Who do you turn to? Who helped you the most? What do you remember?

I do not remember advice. I do not remember a funny phrase to cheer me up. I remember presence. I remember silence. I remember an arm around the shoulder.

In little ways you are around people who are happy or sad each day. You will have opportunities tomorrow to put into practice what we’ve learned.

But what should you say when someone is really hurting? Here is the secret, Paul doesn’t tell us what to say he shows us what to do: weep. Match their emotion.

If they need to go on a run. Start tying your shoes.

If they begin to cry. Grab another tissue.

If they are silent. Be silent with them

One of the ancient Jerusalem temples was designed in a way to promote emotional care. There was one narrow entrance and one narrow exit. The whole crowd of worshipers would enter and exit like the flow of a river. But those in a season of mourning would go the opposite way. As they exited through the entrance, those coming in would see the faces and cross paths with those who were hurting. This created the opportunity for relational care.

Do you see those who pass you by? Do you pause to care for them? Do you feel what they feel?

Here are four practical ways we can be a group who embraces the emotions of our friends.

Find your value in God’s love (If you don’t, you’ll be too self consumed to clothe yourself in the emotions of others.)

Spend time with people (Don’t complain about no one caring if you never talk about how you’re really doing.)

Get past the fluff (When appropriate, ask people about their high’s and low’s.)

Embrace their emotions (Match your feelings to the feelings of whoever is in front of you.)