Summer of a Lifetime - Week One (Relationships)

INTRO

Let me a tell you a story about the best summer of my life.

We want this summer to be the summer of a lifetime! We have so many fun events and impactful trips planned for y’all, not to mention the Bible studies that we’re leading and the 100-Day Devo that is dropping next week!

Summer is filled with so many fun memories and the best people. And really what sets a great summer apart from just a good summer?

The people you spend it with.

We were made for relationships, so who we choose to do life with matters.

BODY

“Do not be deceived, ‘Bad company ruins good morals,’” (1 Corinthians 15:33).

“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm,” (Proverbs 13:20).

“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night,” (Psalm 1:1-2).

Who you spend your time with matters. The people you allow into your life matters. Because we are relational beings and community is vital to our very survival, the saying is true that says, “show me your friends and I will show you your future.”

You are the collective influence of your 5 closest friends.

Think about that, who are your 5 closest friends? Do you want to be like them? If you put their personalities and their hobbies and interests and their habits and hang-ups in a blender, would you be happy with what you got?

Tonight, I want to suggest that there are at least 3 Levels of Friendship

Level 1: Casual Friends

a. “We just hang out”

b. These are school friends/work friends, people you text occasionally, maybe you hang out in group settings. They have some influence on you and you on them, but not a lot.

c. Examples of my casual friends: Start with school friends, then talk about Josh & Luke

Level 2: Close Friends

a. “Let’s get deep”

b. These are people you spend a considerable amount of time with, you are emotionally closer with them, you are vulnerable with them and they with you. These friends have a much greater influence on you and vice versa than casual friends do.

c. Talk about some of my close friends.

Level 3: Counselors

a. “I need your advice”

b. These are your closest, personal, B.F.F.-forever type friends. You go to them with life’s biggest questions. You value their opinion and they have the greatest amount of influence on your life—these are the people that you give permission to speak into your life and they have a direct contribution to your attitudes and behaviors and habits.

c. These are the relationships that you need. And these are the people that you wouldn’t necessarily think of first as “friends.” For example...

d. Talk about some of my “counselors.” Start with Dr. Fowler, then Robb, then Brian.

As I describe these 3 Levels of Friendship, you can probably think of all the people in your life and where they might fit in these levels.

Sometimes, these levels aren’t so rigid, during different seasons and times people will flow in and out of these different levels—think of this more like a sliding scale than really hard and fast “levels.”

One of the best decisions you can make is to set boundaries in your friendships that are appropriately based on which level of friendship you have with a person.

Some of you will be hindered in having the summer of a lifetime because you’ve got some toxic friends living in your “Level 3” camp that really should be bumped down to Level 2 or 1.

Remember, you are the sum total of the collective influence of your 5 closest friends. And you have complete control over who those people will be.

Summer is made by the people you spend it with.

Make the choice to spend this summer with the right people.

Who are “the right people”? How do I pick my “Level 3: Confidant” friends?

People who are what the Bible would describe as “wise.”

Psalm 1; Proverbs 1:5; 9:10; 10:4-5; 11:12; 12:15; 13:1; 14:1; 17:28; 21; 24:3; Galatians 5:16-17; Ephesians 4:29-32; 5:15-16; James 1:5.

They fear the Lord

They encourage you and build you up(Ephesians 4:29-32)

They are humble (Proverbs 12:15).

They meditate on God’s Word (Psalm 1)

They avoid sin and seek to live by the Spirit (Galatians 5:16-17)

People whose lives are worth imitating

“Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ,” (1 Corinthians 11:1).

CONCLUSION

We want this summer to truly be the summer of a lifetime. One of the ways you can start making that a reality in your own life is by choosing now who you will spend the summer with and what relationships are you going to invest in?

Questions to consider:

Are there any relationships right now that are at the wrong level?

People that should be casual friends that you have put in roles like close friends or confidants.

People that you have just been considering casual friends that may need to be given greater influence in your life.

Who are you investing in?

Have you identified someone that you can step into a discipling role with?

· People that are already in your casual sphere of influence

· People that are newer in their faith that you can guide

· People that are willing to be led.

Who is investing in you?

Have you given one or a few people in your life the specific authority and influence to pour into you and lead you?

· Maybe this is your D-Group leader.

· Maybe it’s one of us as your pastor.

· Maybe it’s another trusted adult or a follower of Jesus who is further along in their journey with Christ than you.

This summer truly will be the summer of a lifetime if you take the time to answer these 3 questions and take the necessary next steps! Summer is about who you spend it with, will you choose to spend it with the right people this summer? Because…

We were made for relationships, so who we choose to do life with matters.