Tamar: A Righteous Mother Redeemed

Welcome

We have been working on a series that I call “Family!” which focuses on the mothers and fathers, who are named in the lineage of Jesus Christ. Leading up to Mother’s Day, we are focusing on the women who are named in the lineage of Jesus. Men, bear with us. We’ll get to you after Mother’s Day!

Last week we looked at Rahab, a Canaanite woman, who was a prostitute in Jericho when the Hebrews flattened the walls. It was Rahab that sheltered the Hebrew spies from the king of Jericho. However, the surprise in the account of Rahab is that God was able to use a pagan prostitute who believed in Yahweh, the God of Israel, to pave the way for the Messiah.

If talking about a prostitute redeemed wasn’t difficult enough, our mother in today’s message was in at least as difficult a situation as Rahab, if not moreso. Let’s look a little farther back in scripture at another great-grandmother of Jesus, named Tamar.

Interestingly enough there are three people named Tamar in the Old Testament and two of them are women who were ruined by the neglect and abuse of a dysfunctional family.

Both of these women were directly connected to the Messianic lineage of Christ.

Tamar, the daugher-in-law of Judah, was the son of Jacob and the leader of one of the twelve tribes of Israel. We’ll focus on this story in today’s lesson.

The other Tamar, the daughter of King David, was raped by her half-brother and avenged by another brother, named Absalom, who murdered the guilty half-brother, Amnon. We’re not going to focus on that account in this series.

Why do we have horrible stories like this in the Bible?

Let me warn you, today’s story carries some difficult themes. In fact...

[WARNING Parents, we will be discussing some adult themes in this message this morning. I want to give you fair warning, however, these themes might be an opportunity to have open dialog about some of these things with your children.]

It is no secret that some of the people that God used the most in scripture—people who did great things for the kingdom of God—had horrible things happen to them or participated in actions that we consider sinful and selfish.

Some pastors would never tell the story of Tamar in a Sunday morning sermon.

However, I believe that these stories are included in scripture to give us some perspective on how we should navigate horrible things that happen in our families today.

We all have difficult things that happen in our lives. This is part of the trials that we must endure when we live in a fallen and sinful world. Sometimes we sin and sometimes other people sin against us. Yet whenever we encounter sin, there will be consequences that must be paid. Even when we encounter forgiveness, that forgiveness does not nullify the consequences of sin.

As a pastor, I never want to gloss over the difficult stories that we encounter in scripture. That would be easy, wouldn’t it? If we just ignored these stories and focused on the happy, feel-good stories in scripture. A church that refuses to ponder the difficult texts of scripture is a church that is shallow and ill-prepared for life in the real world. As your pastor, I believe that I would be doing you a disservice if I ignored these hard stories. I want for you to have the opportunity to learn and grow from the scriptural accounts that God has given to us.

We are looking at the forebears of Jesus Christ. Only four women other than Mary are named or referred to in his genealogy: Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, and Bathsheba. Each of these women are very important to our understanding of Jesus Christ.

The genealogy recorded in Matthew 1 is a record that verifies the heritage of the King of Israel through the line of his mother Mary. Women were not normally named in these records. However, the apostle Matthew included these women because they are are important stories recording the heritage of the king. Even though these stories are difficult for us to understand from our modern perspective , we can see that there might also be hope and grace in the events that we sometimes must endure in our daily lives today.

Let’s focus today on the account of Tamar, daughter-in-law to Judah. We’ll find her story told in Genesis 38...

Genesis 38:1–11 CSB

1 At that time Judah left his brothers and settled near an Adullamite named Hirah. 2 There Judah saw the daughter of a Canaanite named Shua; he took her as a wife and slept with her. 3 She conceived and gave birth to a son, and he named him Er. 4 She conceived again, gave birth to a son, and named him Onan. 5 She gave birth to another son and named him Shelah. It was at Chezib that she gave birth to him. 6 Judah got a wife for Er, his firstborn, and her name was Tamar. 7 Now Er, Judah’s firstborn, was evil in the Lord’s sight, and the Lord put him to death. 8 Then Judah said to Onan, “Sleep with your brother’s wife. Perform your duty as her brother-in-law and produce offspring for your brother.” 9 But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his, so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he released his semen on the ground so that he would not produce offspring for his brother. 10 What he did was evil in the Lord’s sight, so he put him to death also. 11 Then Judah said to his daughter-in-law Tamar, “Remain a widow in your father’s house until my son Shelah grows up.” For he thought, “He might die too, like his brothers.” So Tamar went to live in her father’s house.

[pray]

Tamar & Judah

Tamar was the Canaanite daughter-in-law of Judah, who was married to his son, Er. Judah was the fourth son of Jacob and one of the brothers that sold Joseph into slavery.

This story is included in scripture right in the middle of Joseph’s story. Some scholars believe that this event happened during a time when Judah was living a life of regret for having sold his brother into slavery. It may be that he was far from God during this time, and his life reflects that life of rebellion he may have been living at the time.

One thing we can see immediately is that Judah was living a life that seemed to be in opposition to a life that would please and honour God...

Genesis 38:1–5 CSB

1 At that time Judah left his brothers and settled near an Adullamite named Hirah. 2 There Judah saw the daughter of a Canaanite named Shua; he took her as a wife and slept with her. 3 She conceived and gave birth to a son, and he named him Er. 4 She conceived again, gave birth to a son, and named him Onan. 5 She gave birth to another son and named him Shelah. It was at Chezib that she gave birth to him.

It was forbidden at this time for Hebrew men to take Canaanite wives. This was primarily a means of protecting them from being tempted to worship the false gods that the Canaanites worshiped.

Judah Sins by Marrying a Canaanite Woman

Judah married this Canaanite woman and they gave birth to three sons, Er, Onan, and Shelah. As was the custom of the time, when Er came of age, Judah sought out a wife for him...

Genesis 38:6 CSB

6 Judah got a wife for Er, his firstborn, and her name was Tamar.

There is no detail in scripture, but as the text follows Er was revealed to be evil in God’s sight. Verse 7 explains that...

Genesis 38:7 CSB

7 Now Er, Judah’s firstborn, was evil in the Lord’s sight, and the Lord put him to death.

Er’s death put his wife Tamar in a difficult position.

In this time, the inheritance was a primary concern for families and there were certain rules to be followed in the case where the heir (the firstborn) died without leaving a son to become his heir and continue the family line. The custom of the day dictated that one of Er’s brothers should produce an heir for his dead brother through relations with his widow, Tamar.

Now, I understand that this is a really bizarre way of handling things in our modern minds, but this was the way that they handled these things at the time. This practice was called “levirate marriage” which means it’s the brother-in-law’s duty to marry the widow and to provide the heir so that the inheritance could continue.

We’ll see the same kind of thing being considered in the book of Ruth, which we’ll look at next week, though her case was somewhat different according to the levirate law.

This levirate law is recorded in Deuteronomy 25...

Deuteronomy 25:5–10 CSB

5 “When brothers live on the same property and one of them dies without a son, the wife of the dead man may not marry a stranger outside the family. Her brother-in-law is to take her as his wife, have sexual relations with her, and perform the duty of a brother-in-law for her. 6 The first son she bears will carry on the name of the dead brother, so his name will not be blotted out from Israel. 7 But if the man doesn’t want to marry his sister-in-law, she is to go to the elders at the city gate and say, ‘My brother-in-law refuses to preserve his brother’s name in Israel. He isn’t willing to perform the duty of a brother-in-law for me.’ 8 The elders of his city will summon him and speak with him. If he persists and says, ‘I don’t want to marry her,’ 9 then his sister-in-law will go up to him in the sight of the elders, remove his sandal from his foot, and spit in his face. Then she will declare, ‘This is what is done to a man who will not build up his brother’s house.’ 10 And his family name in Israel will be ‘The house of the man whose sandal was removed.’

When Er died, it left his widow, Tamar, without any economic resources to care for herself, since she no longer had a male provider/protector. The marriage relationship of the day obligated her to marry one of her former husband’s brothers and obligated the brothers to provide for her by producing a male heir.

While our modern perspective makes this seem twisted and wrong, it was actually a way that the deceased brothers were mandated to provide for the widow of their brother. This was a way to provide for a woman who held no status or rights within a male-dominated society. The intent of this levirate law was that the widow be protected and cared for financially.

In this case, Judah’s line would have ended with Er and never continued forward, unless he came up with a way to provide for Tamar and produce an heir.

Sexual impropriety in these cases was rare and was considered to reflect poorly upon the household.

Onan Sins by Refusing to Fulfill the Levirate Law

Upon Er’s death, Judah instructed Onan to fulfill the levirate law by taking Tamar and providing an heir for her...

Genesis 38:8–10 CSB

8 Then Judah said to Onan, “Sleep with your brother’s wife. Perform your duty as her brother-in-law and produce offspring for your brother.” 9 But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his, so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he released his semen on the ground so that he would not produce offspring for his brother. 10 What he did was evil in the Lord’s sight, so he put him to death also.

Interestingly enough, Judah did not seem to instruct Onan to take Tamar as his wife, but only to sleep with her and produce a male heir. Scripture does not explicitly state that Judah was wrong in this instruction, but it does seem to be an oversight in his duty to provide for Tamar.

Onan, resented his role in this because he didn’t see anything in it for himself. As a result, he refused to finish the job, bringing shame on Tamar, on his dead brother’s honour, and on his family’s honour. Onan’s action was considered outright defiance because he was breaking the levirate law. His selfish action in refusing to provide an heir for Tamar was considered to be evil and sinful in God’s sight.

Judah Sent Tamar Away

Had there been other brothers of age, they might have been called into this, though Judah’s other son, Shelah was too young to fulfill the duty. However, Judah promised Shelah to Tamar. In the meantime, he sent her away to her father’s house.

Genesis 38:11 CSB

11 Then Judah said to his daughter-in-law Tamar, “Remain a widow in your father’s house until my son Shelah grows up.” For he thought, “He might die too, like his brothers.” So Tamar went to live in her father’s house.

Custom may have allowed for Judah himself to fulfill the duty, but apparently Judah had no interest either. He sent Tamar away, back to her father’s house.

This left the widow Tamar without recourse. She would not be allowed to marry outside of the house of Judah and she would have been considered to bring shame upon her family by being a drain on their resources.

Judah Neglected Tamar

After a long period of time, Judah neglected to fulfill his promise to marry Tamar to his son, Shelah.

Tamar must have felt desperate at this point. Judah had failed to fulfill his promise to provide for her needs and left her out of sight and out of mind in her father’s house. The shame she carried with her must have been unbearable. She would have know that Judah could fulfill the law’s requirement for her, yet he failed to provide for her through his son or through his own actions.

After the death of Judah’s wife, she decided to trick Judah into fulfilling his obligation to her...

Genesis 38:12–15 CSB

After a long time Judah’s wife, the daughter of Shua, died. When Judah had finished mourning, he and his friend Hirah the Adullamite went up to Timnah to his sheepshearers. Tamar was told, “Your father-in-law is going up to Timnah to shear his sheep.” So she took off her widow’s clothes, veiled her face, covered herself, and sat at the entrance to Enaim, which is on the way to Timnah. For she saw that, though Shelah had grown up, she had not been given to him as a wife. When Judah saw her, he thought she was a prostitute, for she had covered her face.

Judah Sinned Against Tamar

In this time there were temple prostitutes, women who served in the temples of the false gods of Canaan. Tamar posed as a temple prostitute and waited for Judah to return to the city...

Genesis 38:16–19 CSB

16 He went over to her and said, “Come, let me sleep with you,” for he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law. She said, “What will you give me for sleeping with me?” 17 “I will send you a young goat from my flock,” he replied. But she said, “Only if you leave something with me until you send it.” 18 “What should I give you?” he asked. She answered, “Your signet ring, your cord, and the staff in your hand.” So he gave them to her and slept with her, and she became pregnant by him. 19 She got up and left, then removed her veil and put her widow’s clothes back on.

Tamar secured this transaction with a security deposit that gave her proof of Judah’s participation. When Judah sought her out to pay the price of the young goat, he could not find her. Several months later someone came to Judah to lay blame on Tamar, because she was found to be pregnant...

Genesis 38:24–26 CSB

24 About three months later Judah was told, “Your daughter-in-law, Tamar, has been acting like a prostitute, and now she is pregnant.” “Bring her out,” Judah said, “and let her be burned to death!” 25 As she was being brought out, she sent her father-in-law this message: “I am pregnant by the man to whom these items belong.” And she added, “Examine them. Whose signet ring, cord, and staff are these?” 26 Judah recognized them and said, “She is more in the right than I, since I did not give her to my son Shelah.” And he did not know her intimately again.

Judah was quick to pass judgment on Tamar, ready to punish her with death by fire. However, when she presented Judah’s property, he realized what was going on. He knew that Tamar had to resort to trickery to get him to uphold the law on her behalf.

Theologians disagree as to the nature of this incestual relationship between father-in-law and daughter-in-law. While Judah did not marry Tamar and did not have further sexual relations with her, her actions did preserve the lineage of Jesus Christ.

What Can We Learn From This Account?

Without a doubt, this event is just sinful action piled on top of sinful action. Judah was at a place in his life where he was not following God’s ways and his sons’ wickedness and death is a consequence of this distance from God. Both sons Er and Onon were considered evil by God and put to death for their actions.

Judah’s sinful neglect of Tamar was evil in its own way, though he was spared the punishment of death. This fits into God’s plan because Judah’s tribe was to become the principal tribe in Israel and his line would lead to the birth of the Messiah, the King of Israel.

An interesting note here is that we can see that Judah declared Tamar’s righteousness...

Genesis 38:26 CSB

26 Judah recognized them and said, “She is more in the right than I, since I did not give her to my son Shelah.” And he did not know her intimately again.

In this admission, Judah is saying that Tamar was justified in her action, even if she did get to righteousness by deception.

Judah’s response here is really interesting. Our translation here does not really get the meaning correctly. Judah is not saying that “Tamar was correct in her actions.” He is not saying, “Oops, you caught me!” He’s not even saying “The devil made me do it!”

What Judah is saying here is that Tamar’s actions were more righteous than his own because he failed to provide for her by fulfilling his promise.

In fact there are a few other similar texts in scripture. When we look at the prophet Hosea, the prophet who loved and married a prostitute, we can see God’s words for Israel...

Hosea 4:14–15 CSB

14 I will not punish your daughters when they act promiscuously or your daughters-in-law when they commit adultery, for the men themselves go off with prostitutes and make sacrifices with cult prostitutes. People without discernment are doomed. 15 Israel, if you act promiscuously, don’t let Judah become guilty! Do not go to Gilgal or make a pilgrimage to Beth-aven, and do not swear an oath: As the Lord lives!

Jesus responded in a similar situation where the scribes and Pharisees were challenging him to apply the Mosaic law to the adulterous woman that they were preparing to put to death by stoning...

John 8:2–11 CSB

2 At dawn he went to the temple again, and all the people were coming to him. He sat down and began to teach them. 3 Then the scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery, making her stand in the center. 4 “Teacher,” they said to him, “this woman was caught in the act of committing adultery. 5 In the law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” 6 They asked this to trap him, in order that they might have evidence to accuse him. Jesus stooped down and started writing on the ground with his finger. 7 When they persisted in questioning him, he stood up and said to them, “The one without sin among you should be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Then he stooped down again and continued writing on the ground. 9 When they heard this, they left one by one, starting with the older men. Only he was left, with the woman in the center. 10 When Jesus stood up, he said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 “No one, Lord,” she answered. “Neither do I condemn you,” said Jesus. “Go, and from now on do not sin anymore.”]

I think the lesson that we can learn is that even those sins that we consider the dirtiest sins and most socially taboo can be forgiven and the person can be restored and redeemed, as Tamar was.

Conclusion

I don’t know what you’ve been through in your life. I can’t say what kind of sin you may have participated in or what sins may have been committed against you. But as I said last week when we looked at the prostitute Rahab’s story, I will say again this week.

Principle: You are not the sum total of your life’s errors or the sins that you have committed.

While it could be argued here that Tamar and Judah were sinful and wrong, God used this awful horrible event to provide for the heritage of his son Jesus, who could look back at his forebears and know that he could rightfully be named the king of Israel.

Whatever it is that you have been through in your life, you can find forgiveness in the name of Jesus Christ. While the things you may have done or endured may have been difficult, these things don’t have to define you.

You can overcome these things and find forgiveness in the God that can make you into a new creation in Christ. It is through forgiveness in Jesus Christ that we can find that forgiveness.

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The Lord’s Table

We now move to the Lord’s Table as we remember the sacrifice and the salvific work that Christ completed on the cross. As we do regularly, we come to the table reflecting upon his sacrifice and we remember the reason that He made that sacrifice.

This is an appropriate time to reflect on your readiness and upon your personal condition before God.

[pause]

I know that a few of you come from a tradition of closed communion, which means that only members of the church are allowed to participate in communion. But here at FBC Pharr, we practice open communion. That means that we leave the decision to participate or not participate up to you.

If you are a Christian, who believes in Jesus Christ, and have taken him as your Savior and your Lord, we invite you to participate with us, if you feel it is appropriate.

Scripture teaches us that if there is any sin in your life or conflict with your brother or sister that might keep you from participating in this meal, then do not participate. If this is the case with you or if you do not know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, please allow the bread and the cup to pass and do not participate.

If this is you, please do not feel guilty or compelled to participate. There is no judgment or condemnation here. However, if this is you, please seek one of us out to get answers to questions that you might have or to correct some things in your life. We are here to serve you.

[pause]

Jesus came to this world to open the doors of Heaven to us by taking our say sin upon Himself and provide a way that we might enter into the presence of Almighty God.

[distribute the elements / pray / send out the deacons]

You’ll notice that you have two cups, one inside the other. The bread is in the bottom cup. You can gently separate the two cups.

1 Corinthians 11:23–24 CSB

23 For I received from the Lord what I also passed on to you: On the night when he was betrayed, the Lord Jesus took bread, 24 and when he had given thanks, broke it, and said, “This is my body, which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.”

This is the body of our Lord, Jesus Christ, take it and eat in remembrance of His body broken for for us.

1 Corinthians 11:25–26 CSB

25 In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, and said, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.” 26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.

This is the blood of our Lord, Jesus Christ. Take it and drink in remembrance of His blood poured out for us.

For by eating this bread and drinking this cup, we join together in proclaiming the Lord’s life, death, and resurrection until His return to us.

Doxology

Praise God from Whom

All blessings flow

Praise Him all

Creatures here below

Praise Him above

Ye heavenly host

Praise Father Son

and Holy Ghost,

Amen