The Character of God in Counseling

Introduction

The majority of people who reach out to a friend, or walk through the doors of a pastor or counselor’s office, do so because they are facing a situation that they deem they can no longer handle on their own.

While they may be looking for guidance pertaining to their situation, there tends to be a deeper question that they rarely voice out loud: “Can I trust you?”

When it comes to the realm of Biblical Counseling this question is not asked of just the counselor, but also of God.

Within this session we will tackle this issue of trust by first looking at why we can trust God’s Word. Next by looking at what the Scriptures say about the dark and difficult days of our lives and how the Word of God gives us help and hope in these rough times. Following that will be God's character as revealed in his Word and how trusting in who God is will help us navigate through the trials of our lives. And finally, we will look at how God’s character is displayed in His people and how we can help one another grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ (2 Pet. 3:18).

Trusting God’s Word

As humans we recognize the fact that we do not operate out of an instinctual aspect. As we grow and learn, we take in the life around us. Through the events we experience we formulate how to navigate this life. Often without any outside influence, this results in us living for ourselves, looking out for only what we want or need.

We allow the desires that give us the greatest pleasure to be what motivates us.

Christians often refer to this as living by carnal, fleshly, or worldly desires. When a person finds faith in Jesus and becomes a Christian, they should then be discipled to understand how to no longer live by these carnal desires but by Spirit and truth. But what does that mean to live by Spirit and truth?

First we need to understand that this is not two forms of living.

When you live by the truth of God’s word you live by the Spirit for the Spirit is the author of the Scriptures.

To live by Spirit and truth then means to live in dependency of the Spirit to help you understand and implement the truth of God’s word within your life.

For this to happen we need to have a baseline understanding about the Scriptures. This baseline is known as the doctrine of the Sufficiency of Scripture. What is this doctrine?

This doctrine basically states that the Scriptures are seen as fully sufficient for instructing a person on how to relate to God and one another, as well as how to view this life and navigate life’s experiences. This doctrine is what sets Biblical counseling apart from any other form of counseling including Christian integration counseling. Commenting on this Heath Lambert states,

“Biblical counseling, however, is unique in the belief that the Scriptures comprehensively and sufficiently show how the power of Christ relevantly and powerfully speaks to all the issues that require counseling no matter how extreme or challenging.” (Lambert, 18 June 2012).

So what helps us come to the conclusion that God’s word is sufficient and can be trusted?

Trust is formatted in us through two avenues, knowledge and experience.

When it comes to the knowledge aspect, we have both external and internal evidence.

Internally means we look towards God’s word to see what it testifies about itself.

Psalm 119:160 ESV

160 The sum of your word is truth, and every one of your righteous rules endures forever.

Isaiah 40:8 ESV

8 The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.

Isaiah 55:10–11 ESV

10 “For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, 11 so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

Romans 15:4 ESV

4 For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

2 Timothy 3:16–17 ESV

16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.

2 Peter 1:20–21 ESV

20 knowing this first of all, that no prophecy of Scripture comes from someone’s own interpretation. 21 For no prophecy was ever produced by the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.

Internally, we can look at God’s word and see that it testifies to the fact that God’s word is true.

That his word will accomplish what it sets out to do.

That his word is sufficient for the needs of mankind.

Now when we are discipling another Christian, this evidence ought to be enough. They may still wrestle with this issue of trust, but if they profess Jesus as Lord and Savior there needs to be a continual pointing to God’s word for the answers.

However sometimes our Lord asks us to walk through life’s issues with someone who has not come to know him yet. By this they are not going to hold God’s word to the same authority as the Christian. For this they will not give the initial weight to the internal evidence of why they can trust God’s word and so we need to look externally.

Externally there is a specific field of study called Textual Criticism. Within this field they study and compare the ancient manuscripts to determine what is mostly likely authentic, and what is an addition.

For the NT there are nearly 25,000 early manuscripts of which about 6,000 are in Greek and the rest being translations from the Greek.

With this the oldest manuscripts we have to date, were written within 100-150 years after the originals.

In comparison Caesar’s Gallic Wars which was written in the 1st Century BC, has only 10 manuscripts in existence with the earliest being written 1,000 years after the original. Or Aristotle’s Poetics, which was written in the 4th BC, has only 5 manuscripts and the earliest was written 1,400 years after the original.

(The Manuscripts | The Institute for Creation Research. https://www.icr.org/bible-manuscripts.)

When it comes to the knowledge avenue there is undeniable evidence both internally and externally that God’s word can be trusted. Yet, when we talk about wanting to know something, rarely do we mean that we just want the head knowledge. We want it deeper. We want it as a foundational truth that we can stand on. For this to take place we need to walk down that other avenue, the avenue of experience.

The Dark Days of Our Lives

When we talk about growing in our experience of trust, we first need to realize what this means.

To trust some one means that we have determined in any given situation to hand the control over to someone else.

Now this is something we do on a regular basis and to some degrees we do not even think about it. For example, how many of you at a cross walk have seen the little dude pop up across the street and you just out of habit take off walking? You cross the street in bold confidence of making it to the other side. In that situation you have placed your trust in the drivers on the road that they will stop and let you cross. You have released your control of that situation.

Here’s another example that we are usually more cognitive of. I have two teens at home. One is driving with a permit and the other is about to start driver’s ed. Each time I get in the passenger seat to let them drive I am handing over the control of that situation to them. I am choosing to trust them with my life. If you have been through this you know that when they initially start to drive you are scared to trust them. They are inexperienced. Yet, as time goes on and you get the opportunity to experience for yourself their maturing as a driver, you come to trust them more.

This aspect is true in every regard of life. When we consciously had over the control of a situation we are in, we are having to trust the one that we have handed it to. And the more we experience this the easier it is for us to trust and hand over that control.

I opened by stating that most people who reach out to a friend, or walk through the door of a pastor or counselor’s office, do so because they are facing a situation that they deem they can no longer handle on their own. They have found themselves in a situation that they are no longer in control of. They are facing some dark or difficult days of their life.

The amazing thing about God’s word is that through it, God reveals to the reader real people who experienced they same type of things that we do. They find themselves in the same type of situations that we do. For example King David. in psalm 23 he proclaims.

Psalm 23:4 ESV

4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

That valley of the shadow of death, that sounds like it might be some dark and difficult days that David experienced. If we are familiar with our Bibles we know this is the case. David was hunted like an animal by his father in law. He had a son that killed another son because he raped their sister. He had a son start a mutiny and run him out of the kingdom. He murdered a friend to cover up an affair that David had with his wife. He had an infant son die. David faced many difficult days. He walked through many valleys of death. Some were thrust upon him by others, some were by his own doing. Yet, what he learned was that each of these were for him to come to understand how to trust God. But how did this come to be?

David’s ability to trust God and to know that God would lead him through those dark days was due to a tool that our Lord has given us.

That would be the tool of lament.

What is lament? According to pastor Mark Vroegop,

Lament is the honest cry of a hurting heart wrestling with the paradox of pain and the promise of God’s goodness (Vroegop, Mark. 2019. Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament. Wheaton, Illinois: Crossway).

Within this life we have to wrestle with the evil that we witness and experience and the claims of Scripture that God is good. We may want to try and shut this question out, but at some point either in our own experience or in the experience of a love one we are trying to comfort we will face this issue. So how do we navigate our way through the pains and trials of this life?

This is where turning to God’s word comes into play. If in our minds we know that God’s word is true, that what we read in it is grounded in real experiences of real people, and that we are supposed to trust it, then when these dark days come upon us we ought to be able to turn to the Scriptures for insight into our situations. But do the Scriptures speak to our sufferings? Of course they do.

Of the 150 Psalms one third of them are laments.

Within a lament, there is a pattern put forth in the Scriptures for this process. There is an address to God, a complaint, a request, and an expression of trust or praise. Voregop shortens these to,

The Process of Lament

Turn

Complain

Ask

Trust

Let’s see how this plays out over Psalm 143.

TURN: Ps 143:1-2 “1 Hear my prayer, O Lord; give ear to my pleas for mercy! In your faithfulness answer me, in your righteousness! 2 Enter not into judgment with your servant, for no one living is righteous before you.”

COMPLAIN: Ps 143:3-6 “3 For the enemy has pursued my soul; he has crushed my life to the ground; he has made me sit in darkness like those long dead. 4 Therefore my spirit faints within me; my heart within me is appalled. 5 I remember the days of old; I meditate on all that you have done; I ponder the work of your hands. 6 I stretch out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land. Selah”

ASK: Ps 143:7-11 “7 Answer me quickly, O Lord! My spirit fails! Hide not your face from me, lest I be like those who go down to the pit. 8 Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. 9 Deliver me from my enemies, O Lord! I have fled to you for refuge. 10 Teach me to do your will, for you are my God! Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground! 11 For your name’s sake, O Lord, preserve my life! In your righteousness bring my soul out of trouble!”

TRUST: Ps 143:12 “12 And in your steadfast love you will cut off my enemies, and you will destroy all the adversaries of my soul, for I am your servant.”

We see David here turning to God in prayer. We talk often about prayer as a Spiritual discipline, but how often do we use it as a form of healing? God says that the prayers of his people are an incense that burns in his throne room. That includes the prayer of lament. That includes the cry of a broken heart. He is an ever loving father that longs for his children to cry to him especially in their time of need.

We see David in verse 3-6 turn to his complaint. He is telling God about the situation that he is in of how his soul is crushed by the enemy. The question we often struggle with here is how we understand the word enemy. Is this someone that doesn’t like me. Is this someone that I am at odds with? What is the context for enemy and what if this is not the situation that I find myself in?

Sometimes we need to understand that it is our own actions that have led us to the point of despair, to the point of needing to lament such as David in Ps 51. Other times it may be a season of difficulty that we find ourselves in due to the actions of those closes to us. Such as a betrayal like David describes in Ps 55.

After his complaint David turns to his requests. This is an area within our prayer lives’ that many Christians struggle with. We feel selfish to present God with our requests. We worry about bordering on a line of some bad theological practices so we do not ask our heavenly father. Yet we read in his word that he wants us to ask him. Part of what needs correcting in our thinking is understanding what we are asking for.

In the process of lament one of two things is usually asked for, deliverance and/or justice.

But even in presenting these requests we need to understand that our idea of deliverance and/or justice may not be what God has in store. With that we need to trust.

When it comes to trusting God, just as David presents this comes from a couple aspects. First it is remembering what God has said about you. In this Psalm David shows that he is God’s servant. By this David trusts that the Lord will deliver him. The other aspect for trust comes from remembering what God has done previously. It is through these points that we can learn to trust God because he has revealed himself to us in these fashions. Through what God has said and what God has done his character is revealed to us. It is understanding his character that leads us to trusting God.

God’s Character Revealed

As we look at our example the question may be, “Where is the reminder of all that God has done?”

That reminder is wrapped up in two words, steadfast love.

See within the Jewish culture all things build on a foundation. They constantly look back to remind themselves of where they have been. One way we see this displayed in the OT is through the usage of key terms. When David uses the term steadfast love here he is looking back down a line of everything that God has done to remind himself. And where does this line run to? It runs back to Moses after the Exodus.

Exodus 34:6–7 ESV

6 The Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, 7 keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.”

In his book discussing the character of God, regarding this passage Dane Ortlund states,

“Short of the incarnation itself, this is perhaps the high point of divine revelation in all the Bible.”

Ortlund, Dane C.. Gentle and Lowly (p. 146). Crossway. Kindle Edition.

Why would this be a high point of divine revelation about the character of God? If we understand where this lands in the biblical timeline. Moses has been up on Mount Sinai receiving the Ten Commandments from God. While he was up there the Israelites grew impatient and compelled Aaron to make a god for them to worship, and so came the golden calf. Let’s look at some of what leads up to this divine revelation.

Exodus 32:15–16 ESV

15 Then Moses turned and went down from the mountain with the two tablets of the testimony in his hand, tablets that were written on both sides; on the front and on the back they were written. 16 The tablets were the work of God, and the writing was the writing of God, engraved on the tablets.

Exodus 32:19–20 ESV

19 And as soon as he came near the camp and saw the calf and the dancing, Moses’ anger burned hot, and he threw the tablets out of his hands and broke them at the foot of the mountain. 20 He took the calf that they had made and burned it with fire and ground it to powder and scattered it on the water and made the people of Israel drink it.

Exodus 32:26–28 ESV

26 then Moses stood in the gate of the camp and said, “Who is on the Lord’s side? Come to me.” And all the sons of Levi gathered around him. 27 And he said to them, “Thus says the Lord God of Israel, ‘Put your sword on your side each of you, and go to and fro from gate to gate throughout the camp, and each of you kill his brother and his companion and his neighbor.’ ” 28 And the sons of Levi did according to the word of Moses. And that day about three thousand men of the people fell.

Exodus 32:35 ESV

35 Then the Lord sent a plague on the people, because they made the calf, the one that Aaron made.

At this point in the Exodus the Israelites were maybe 6 months out of Egypt. All that they had seen. All that they had been through and their hearts were quickly turned away from God. When Moses asked Aaron about Aaron responded, Exod 32:22 “22 And Aaron said, “Let not the anger of my lord burn hot. You know the people, that they are set on evil.”

Even in their sin, even in their turning away, God did not leave them. Yes Moses repented for them. Yes there was consequences for their sin. But God never left them. As God passed before Moses, he proclaimed his name to him and defined how he as their God would operate towards them, merciful and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. This passage has become one of the most cited or hinted to passages internally in all the Scriptures.

The reminder of what God would do for David was grounded in the very thing that God revealed about himself to Moses.

And this is not the only place that the divine character is clearly revealed. The Gospels display God’s divine character through the incarnation of Jesus. Within the gospel of Matthew there is one spot where this divine character is plainly shown.

Matthew 11:28–29 ESV

28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Expounding on the verse in his book that is named for it, Dane Ortlund states,

“In the one place in the Bible where the Son of God pulls back the veil and lets us peer way down into the core of who he is, we are not told that he is ‘austere and demanding in heart.’ We are not told that he is ‘exalted and dignified in heart.’ We are not even told that he is ‘joyful and generous in heart.’ Letting Jesus set the terms, his surprising claim is that he is ‘gentle and lowly in heart.’”

Ortlund, Dane C.. Gentle and Lowly (p. 18). Crossway. Kindle Edition.

Gentle and lowly, that is the character of God.

But how is gentle and lowly displayed to the people? Paul’s testimony of the work that Jesus did to the Philippian church describes this well.

Philippians 2:5–8 ESV

5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

Within this passage Paul uses a three-fold example of Jesus to demonstrate his humility.

The three parts to this example is his character for eternity past, his earthly life, and in his death. Paul states in verse 6 that Jesus was in the form of God. The word Paul uses here corresponds to that of reality. What Paul is stating is that the Jesus, who is in reality God, humbled himself. The Creator and Sustainer of all things humbled himself for a purpose, that purpose was to add to himself the human experience. But not that of a king, rather that of a servant. Within his earthly life, he humble himself to serve those around him. This service of others led him to humble himself to the point of death. But not any death, a traitors death. A death that he himself did not earn, but rather that he accepted in place of those who were guilty.

In the grand revelation of how steadfast in love he could be Rom 5:8 “8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” This is the revelation of his character. This is what we need to remember in those times when we are no longer in control. When we have once again found ourselves on the path through the valley of the shadow of death. When our feelings are lying to us and telling us he is distant and does not care. We need to remember what has been revealed about him. When it comes to trusting God we can not go by feelings alone. There will be times when we do not feel his presence.

Commenting on this R. C. Sproul once stated,

 “I don’t always feel His presence. But God’s promises do not depend upon my feelings; they rest upon His integrity.”

R. C. Sproul One Holy Passion (1987)

There will be times that we struggle to hear him, to feel close to him. There will be troubles in this life that we find we have no solution too. In those moments we need to remember what God’s word has revealed about him. That he is slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. That he is gentle and lowly.

God’s Character Displayed

God’s character is not simply revealed in his word, it is to be displayed through his children.

The idea of man being the image bearer of God comes from prior to the fall.

Genesis 1:27 ESV

27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

This issue is that while the fall did not strip us of being God’s image bearers, it did heavily distort or disfigure it. This attribute of ours has been so marred by sin that we often wonder what it means to be created in God’s image. Trying to answer this question John Piper first states the purpose of an image and then what this looks like as the image bearers of God. He says,

“If you create an image, if you make a sculpture of someone, you do it to display something about that someone.”

The purpose of being God’s image bearers is so that we put God on display to those around us. Further explaining this he sates,

“So I think being created in the image of God means that we image God. We reflect God. We live in a way, we think in a way, we feel in a way, we speak in a way that calls attention to the brightness of the glory of God.”

(“What Does It Mean to Be Made in God’s Image?” Desiring God. https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/what-does-it-mean-to-be-made-in-gods-image.)

If we understand the creation account and the position that God had placed mankind in, they were to operate as his vice-regent. In the command to subdue the earth, man was granted the authority to rule on behalf of God over creation. This was not in place of God but rather on his behalf. We were to continue as his image bearers to rule in such a way that still pointed towards him and brought glory to him. As G. K. Beale states,

“God’s ultimate goal in creation was to magnify his glory throughout the earth by means of his faithful image-bearers inhabiting the world in obedience to the divine mandate.”

G. K. Beale

Post fall man must be born again in order to be freed from our sins allowing us to more clearly see and understand our distinction of image bearer.

With the work of the cross and us being born again, our title changes from viceregent to ambassador.

2 Corinthians 5:20 ESV

20 Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.

What is the difference between a viceregent and an ambassador?

A viceregent governs on behalf of a sovereign.

An ambassador serves as the resident representative of a sovereign to a foreign nation.

We still bear God’s image, but as his ambassadors we are now his resident representatives while we are here in this foreign nation.

Have you ever wondered why God has not removed you from the difficult moments you find yourself in? Have you ever wondered why God brought someone into your life, whose life is a mess? Have you wondered why God has you here at all, or why he hasn’t taken you home yet?

Many Christians who have had near death experiences proclaim, that God must not be done with me yet. But do you know what your purpose is to be? You are to be his resident representative. You are to be his image bearer. As my Hebrew professor would say, you are to be the physical representation of the invisible God. His character is to be revealed through you.

Part of the purpose of this conference in not just to give you knowledge for dealing with things in your own life, but to equip you to help others. In answering the question of “Can I trust you?” that again is being asked to both you and God, the answer will primarily come through the human interaction.

How you operate as God’s ambassador will tell someone if they can trust you and God.

So how do we go about doing this? According to Paul David Tripp, when it comes to Biblical Soul Care and discipleship, or personal ministry as he calls it,

“Personal ministry is not just about confronting people with principles, theology, or solutions. It confronts people with the God who is active and glorious in his grace and truth, and who has a rightful claim to our lives. Only as our hearts are transformed by this glory will the principles of Scripture make any sense to us.”

Tripp, Paul David. Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands: People in Need of Change Helping People in Need of Change (p. 99). P&R Publishing. Kindle Edition.

It starts with our own hearts. If we are not actively working to growing in our own knowledge and understanding. If we are not constantly checking our own desires. Then we are going to be less likely to represent our King well. Continuing on this line Tripp states,

“God is intent on owning our hearts unchallenged. He is not content with theological knowledge or participation in church programs. He will settle for nothing less than the core of your being, the real you. His goal is that our lives would be shaped by our worship of him and nothing else. He has sent us as his ambassadors to make his appeal for peoples’ hearts.”

Tripp, Paul David. Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands: People in Need of Change Helping People in Need of Change (p. 108). P&R Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Tripp presents four aspects that are needed to be his ambassadors, love, know, speak, do.

These are not steps, where one must do them in order. Rather they are elements for doing Biblical Soul Care and Discipleship. Tripp argues that the foundation for people-transforming ministry is not sound theology, but love. Not the fleeting feeling of love, but rather the incarnate self sacrificing love biblical love that we see clearly demonstrated through Jesus. Without this love we are nothing more than clanging cymbals. We echo talking points without really caring about others.

The quickest way to demonstrate this love is by building relationship with others by identifying with suffering.

The relationship that we build is key to the next element, to know. Here knowing is referring to knowing the person you are working with. And this goes deeper than niceties. This is not a casual knowing but rather a deeper knowing. This is getting to understanding what makes this person tick. What are their desires and motives? For this to happen you have to be willing to invest the time. That means being willing to be inconvenienced for the sake of another. It requires remembering the character of God and being willing to put that on display.

When we talk about speaking, we are look at the communication of the application of God’s word to someone else’s life. The stumbling block for many here is the fact that they do not let God’s word first speak to their own heart. There is a humility that is to come through us when we speak into someone else’s life. The confusion is that we believe that humility and timidity are the same thing.

Timidity is the fear of man, humility is the fear of the Lord.

When we speak correction into one’s life it is to be bold, but bold is not violent. It is to be kind and compassionate, with the utmost care of the one you are speaking to in mind.

When we talk about the action portion of discipling other to bring about change, this is not just spending time together. Yes time needs to be invested, but this element of doing requires giving encouragement and accountability. These are tow aspects that are needed for walking with a person through life. When it comes to Christians we call this edification.

Edification is the process of inspiring and equipping a person to continue in their walk with Jesus.

When we consider these four elements we need to see that there is a certain thread that weaves them all together. This is the intentional investment of your time into the other person. Everyone has season of business, but to constantly justify not serving others because of a lack of your time, might mean you need to reassess your priorities and desires.

Closing

In closing we need to remember the work that Christ has done and then what he has called us to.

2 Corinthians 5:16–21 ESV

16 From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 18 All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; 19 that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. 20 Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. 21 For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Q & A