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The Way through the Maze:
Parenting ____________________________
Jeff Jones, Senior Pastor
March 5~/7, 2010
Welcome to Chase Oaks and this series we are finishing today on the book of Proverbs.
The series is called /The Way Through the Maze/, because life is like a maze.
There are so many pathways to go down, and not all of them lead to where we want to go in life.
Proverbs is there to give the way of wisdom.
God just shows us the way through the maze of life.
Today we are talking about parenting, and certainly there are plenty of different perspectives in the maze of life about parenting—but Solomon is going to give some very helpful perspective to help us negotiate that maze.
One of my favorite memories with my two boys was teaching them to ride a bike without training wheels.
They were so excited to hit the open road, but we had a few issues to deal with first.
They didn’t know how to actually ride yet.
So, we got them suited up with helmets and elbow pads, and then set them on the bike.
They were ready to go.
I held up the bike as they started to pedal, and then I’d run with them for twenty or thirty feet and turn them loose.
The first few times, letting go didn’t turn out so well, but each time it seemed to go a little better.
They were discouraged some, but still excited to get it, to hit the open road.
And after a number of crashes and minor injuries, they eventually got it, and they started taking off.
I can still remember the thrill of watching them get it, and seeing them riding around on their own.
That’s the privilege we get as parents, to prepare our children for the open road, for the life God has for them.
Solomon says,
Slide: ______________________________ ) Proverbs 15:20
“A wise son brings joy to a father.”
(15:20), and he repeats that sentiment multiple times throughout Proverbs, how thrilling it is to help kids grow up, and then to see them get it, to hit the open road and do well.
But we all know that’s not automatic, and we aren’t in complete control of which way they will choose to go.
But we are the ones who have the privilege of helping them start out well, to run along with them a while and give them the best shot at living a wise life.
Solomon is going to give some great wisdom to help us do just that, to give our children what they need to hopefully walk in wisdom later.
They may choose not to, but Solomon is going to help us understand what it means to run alongside them for a while to get them ready to ride, and today we are going to look at those.
Now, I know that many of you are not parents, and you are already getting on your i-phones, checking out.
Please don’t.
The truth is, statistically, most of you will be parents one day, and all of you have kids in your life whether or not you ever have a child yourself.
You probably don’t realize how much influence you have, but you do.
So, as we go through this, think of a kid or two that God has put in your life.
Now we are ready for some wisdom.
Again, all we can do is run alongside them for a while, hoping they will keep pedaling a good direction in life.
But to make that more likely, here is what our kids need from us as parents.
Slide: ______________________________ )
· Training
Kids don’t come pre-trained.
They aren’t born with wisdom.
They need parenting.
That’s the most basic thing Proverbs is going to say about kids.
IF you don’t believe me, then let me show you some evidence that kids might need a little coaching in life:
(SHOW PICS).
Those are great, and certainly show our kids need adults who can help them negotiate the maze of life.
Proverbs is all about training a child how to walk in wisdom.
That’s actually what the book is.
It is a parenting book.
Proverbs isn’t just a bunch of thoughts written down.
It is a book written by a father to a child, to help him or her learn to do life well.
Here’s the way the book starts out, and as you hear this and these following passage, hear the heart of a father who wants to train his children in life, to pass on wisdom.
Slide: ______________________________ ) Proverbs 1:8-9
says, “/Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck./
In
Slide: ______________________________ ) Proverbs 3:1-2
he says, /My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity./
Slide: ______________________________ ) Proverbs 4:1-6
/Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding.
I give you sound learning.
Do not forsake my teaching.
When I was a boy in my father’s house, still tender and an only child of my mother, he taught me and said, ‘Lay hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands and you will live.
Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or swerve from them.
Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you.’
/ There are lots of these passages, but just one more, from
Slide: ______________________________ ) Proverbs 6:20-22
/My son, keep your father’s commands and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
Bind them on your heart forever; fasten them around your neck.
When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; when you are awake, they will speak to you.
/
Solomon is modeling what it means to be a parent, which means that we are there to help impart wisdom and train our children how to do life well.
Life is a maze, and there are so many ways to go.
I don’t know how many of you actually like mazes, but I don’t.
I hate them.
Years ago, I was in a European garden where you stepped into a maze built out of shrubs, and some people really liked that, but I wanted a chain saw.
After about two minutes, I just wanted out.
I wanted a chain saw.
Solomon is saying that’s what wisdom does for us.
It’s like a chain saw that cuts through the maze to show us the way out, and that is what our children need from us.
Maybe the most well-known verse about parenting in Proverbs is this one, which is often misunderstood:
Slide: ______________________________ ) Proverbs 22:6
/Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it /(P 22:6).
Again, the basic premise of Proverbs on kids is that they aren’t born knowing the right way to go, the way of wisdom.
They aren’t born knowing how to ride a bike into life.
So, our job is to teach them, to train them.
Solomon says if we do that, then when they grow up they will never turn from it.
Here is where a major misunderstanding comes in.
The verse sounds like a promise or a formula, a guarantee.
If you train them the way they should go, if you do your job as a parent, then they will never depart from it.
They will do great.
The implication would be if your child does go down a bad pathway then obviously you didn’t train them well…otherwise that wouldn’t have happened.
This verse has caused many parents great grief and guilt who see their children reject the way of wisdom as they grow up.
Yet, this is just a misunderstanding of the verse.
This is a book of proverbs, not promises, and there is a huge difference.
Promises are guaranteed.
You do a and b, and as a result c will always happen.
A proverb is different.
A proverb is a wise saying, something that generally will hold true but not necessarily.
It’s the way things typically work.
Last week we looked at a number of proverbs about our words, one of which was, “a gentle answer turns away anger.”
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