We're A Mess: Family Relationships

We’re a mess: A critical look at culture and how it influences our relationships

Today we are talking about how culture can affect our Family Relationships.

As We look at Culture Remember:

We are letting God’s Word Define Culture

We are pulling this definition from 1 John as John defines the world/culture.

1 John 2:15–16 (ESV)

15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world.

We can say that we love God all day long but if these three things have taken root in our families may not be living for the Lord but for the world

The desires of the Flesh - Godless desires

The desires of the eyes -  Desires for things, status, position, and acceptance.

pride of life - An attitude of superiority or entitlement

Before we get to far into our message this morning

We are going to Define God’s Perfect Intent For Family

Two distinct characteristics that biblically define God’s intent for the foundation of a family

Married

Married with kids

There is no perfect family

Families have been messed up since the beginning.

Adam & Even had Cain and Able

Abraham, Hagar, and Sarah

Jacob & Esau (blessing)

Jacob’s Son Joseph who’s brothers sold Joseph into slavery

Our God is a God who works in spite of our imperfections

But just because God works in spite of our imperfections does not mean that we allow culture to influence our families freely

We all have sin but we fight our sin

All families have issues but we fight those issues for the sake of Christ.

Family is very important to God’s plan

But the world understands that there is something unique about the family as well

There is common consensus that the family unit has a huge impact on society.

Research has shown that it is common thought that the purpose or role of the family is to better society through creating a foundation for

Civilization

Social relationships

values for the population

What’s wild is that scripture points to the same thing

There are two things that are happening in our world today.

The divorce rate is the lowest it has ever been

But, the marriage rate is also the lowest it has ever been

When we mix this with the cultural shift from nuclear family to a more revolving family structure.

Nuclear family

Same sex family

Step Parents with kids from different house holds

Families are so valuable to the world we live in that when the family falls apart the world starts to falls apart

We see that the family unit is so powerful that when it no longer valued our world starts to change

Civilization shifts

Social relationships change

values for the population change

The family is a tool that God created to impact and bring change to the world

We see the evidence of this in Jesus

God used families to bring Jesus into the world.

He would come through the line of King David

If we are going to make a gospel impact in our world we cannot let the world influence how we function as a family.

If we really want to change the world it starts with Family

Point One:

For our families to make a gospel impact in the world Husbands & Dads have to spiritually lead their home.

Husbands

Ephesians 5:15-27

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish

It is our responsibility to be the spiritual leaders in our homes

We are to be a gift for our wives in this way

Love our wives as Christ loved the church

We are to be sacrificially willing to give everything up for her

We are to lead our wives in bible study and prayer

Our purpose is to be able to present our wives to the Lord as holy

Our wives need to be better followers of Jesus because we are in their lives

When we give our wives back to the Lord our hope is that we can return them better than we recieved them.

We have to cut out the mental and emotional abuse

We have to cut out the narcissism and the gaslighting

Fighting just be right

We need to be leading in bringing her to church rather than her pulling us.

If you’re thinking you’ve Got this (we can all do better)

Dads

Deuteronomy 6:4-9

4 “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. 5 You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

The is not a woman passage this is a family passage.

Dads we have to be involved in our child’s spiritual development

It’s not up to the church to spiritually develop your child but God is holding us accountable

Starting points both Husbands and dads

This is not something we can fake.

This is not do as I say and not as I do

Our spouse and kids need to see us praying and studying God’s Word daily

Our spouse and kids need to see us serving others

Our spouse and kids need to see us worshipping every Sunday

Lead prayer at the dinner table

Ask your kids what they learned at church

discuss the Sundays message as a family on the way home

Pray with them before they go to bed

Read Scripture over them

God is holding us accountable when it comes to spiritually leading the home

Point Two:

For our families to make a gospel impact in the world wive and mothers have to let go of the fear of missing out

Mt 6:33–34.

33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Women wear so many hats

Woman Do It All

The family

The career

The me time

Women don’t checkout, they burnout

The motive behind a lot of these things is the fear of missing out

Remember that we are not God

When women prioritize what God has designed them to do

Prioritize your commitment to Lord

Prioritize your commitment to your husband and children

God has a way for you to not only experience contentment but also grant you the desires of your heart.

He has a way of making all those things you are chasing after happen.

Point Three

For our families to make a gospel impact in the world Christ has to be our passion.

1 Peter 1:13-16

13 Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 14 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, 15 but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, 16 since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”

Our purpose as a family is to pursue holiness together.

It doesn’t matter what other families are doing in this world

God is calling us to represent him in this world through our obedience

Not conforming our families to the passions of this world but instilling a passion for Christ.

Point Four

For our families to make a gospel impact in the world celebrate singleness as gift not a burden

Chapter 7:6-9

6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, bone of one kind and one of another.8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am.

Singleness is hard but it is also a gift.

Paul tells those who are single that they can make a huge impact for the Lord

God is not done with you if it is just you.

Devote yourself to the Lord and his purposes

Application

Husbands/Dads pray with your spouse and kids tonight.

Moms put the list of things down for a moment and talk to your husband about what you truly need and don’t be afraid for him to speak into your wants and needs. You family is not working against God will use them to work with you.

Remember that God may be using your husband to slow you down for a moment the Lord does not want you to burn out.

Single pray to the Lord for guidance in how you can use your gift.

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LANDING

Biblically we see that Families are God’s treasure designed to display His character and grace to the world.