2023-05-14 What's A Mother To Do

WHAT'S A MOTHER TO DO? (II Tim 1:5) May 14, 2023 Read II Tim 1:1-5; 3:14-15 - Who is omniscient and irreplaceable? Mom! * Mothers teach us about foresight: "Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident." * Mothers teach us about logic: "If you fall out of that tree and break your neck, don't come crying to me." * Mothers teach us about religion: "You better pray that stain comes out of the carpet." * Mothers teach us about contortionism: "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck?" * Mothers teach us about perseverance: "You are going to sit here until you eat every last piece of that broccoli." * Mothers teach us about genetics: "You're just like your father." * Mothers teach us about the circle of life: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." In truth, we all know the closest thing to unconditional love among the human race is found in mothers. They're special. But it's not always easy! I heard of one mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters who was asked whether she'd have children if she had it to do over again. "Sure," she replied, "I'd have more children -- just not the same ones." So - what is a mother to do? Whether you are a new mother still pondering, "How do I do this?" or a veteran of the wars, we all really have the same question, don't we? We've been given these gifts from God, but now that they are here, what are we to do with them? Eunice's example can help, Timothy's mother -- mentioned only once by name - in II Tim 1:5. We know little about her. But look closely, there is priceless info. Consider six critical things you can do for your children. I. LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD II Tim 3:15 tells us Tim was made "acquainted with the sacred writings" from Mom. So, he was taught early, Deut 6:5, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might." Jesus called that Mt 22:38: "the great and first commandment." No doubt Tim's mother exemplified this greatest priority of all. Love God. The best thing any mother can do for her kids is show she loves God with all her heart. You don't want to mess this one up. Let them see by the way you speak, think and live that you love God above all. That is number one. Hosea 4:9a, reminds: "like people, like priest;" People usually become like those in authority over them, foremost, parents. Scary thought -- Most times, your children will become exactly what you are. Not outwardly, but deep down inside. Kids see right through you. That's where you do or don't love the Lord your God and it will matter dramatically to your child whether you do or not. Kids need moms who love God first. My folks worked hard. I often saw them, 5:30 am, reading the Bible and praying together over breakfast. What an impression that made. They were at church every time the doors were open despite Dad often working two jobs. We knew. They lived what they taught. We knew - they loved God above all, and it made an indelible, lasting impression on 11 young minds. II. HONOR YOUR PARENTS II Tim 1:5 with me, "I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well." Eunice honored her mother. Flip over again to II Tim 3:14, "But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it" "Whom" is plural. Eunice and Lois teamed up on Timothy. Eunice honoring her mother paid rich dividends in the life of her son. Whether your parents are believers or not, honoring them is a way of honoring God who commands: Deut 5:16: "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you." Obeying that will benefit your kids. Want your kids to honor you? Honor your parents. Many parents feel justified in diminishing their own parents. But guess who is taking it all in and learning faster than you can ever imagine? Where do most people learn to dishonor their parents? Mom and Dad. When you criticize your own parents, your kids are taking notes for future reference. There's a grim Grimm's fairy tale. An old man lived with his married son. Decrepit with age, he slurped and dribbled when eating. The wife got her husband to put the man in the corner of the kitchen away from the family. One day he broke his wooden bowl. The woman yelled, "If you are a pig, you must eat from a trough." So they made a trough for him to take his meals. Well, one day the woman noticed her 4-year-old son playing with some bits of wood. Asked what he was doing, he replied, "I'm making a trough - to feed you and Father from when I get big." Get the point? III. RESPECT YOUR CHILDREN'S FATHER Respect your children's father. Hopefully you are together, but it's not a perfect world. Together or apart, for your children, respect their dad. This is crucial. Ideal is best. But even Timothy's situation fell short of ideal. Acts 16:1, "Paul came also to Derbe and to Lystra. A disciple was there, named Timothy, the son of a Jewish woman who was a believer, but his father was a Greek. (unbeliever)" Eunice was Jewish raised on OT by her mother Lois. When Paul came to Lystra on his 1st journey and showed how the OT prophecies pointed to Jesus they became NT believers, along with Timothy. Eunice had married outside her Jewish faith. Yet she respected her huz. Peter advised women married to unbelievers: I Peter 3:1-2, "Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2) when they see your respectful and pure conduct." Tim was not circumcised (Acts 16:3), a ritual that would have been meaningful to Eunice. But as her huz likely objected, she honored his wishes in this regard. She did not undermine his authority, thus teaching her son submission to authority. Hopefully you love your kids' father, but in one sense, respect, deserved or not, is even more important. In Eph 5:33, after extended instruction on marriage, Paul summarizes, "However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." Why respect and not love? Because men don't need love? Of course not. We all need love. But because of the way we are made as men and women and because of the roles that the Lord asks us to play, what women need most is love and what men need most is respect. And may I say, this goes double if you are not married to that father. It is critical that you still show him respect. In Love and Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, tells of a study where 400 men were asked, if forced to choose, which would they prefer to endure? a) to be left alone and unloved in the world, or b) to feel inadequate and disrespected by everyone. Seventy-four percent of these men said they would prefer being alone and unloved in the world to feeling inadequate or disrespected. Respecting your kids' dad will pay rich dividends in them. Sure, there are some dads who don't deserve respect. But give it anyway. This is vital to the emotional health of your kids. You may choose not to show respect for that father, but you will create kids who are emotionally scarred. Listen, when you do not show respect, you harm yourself and your children far more than you do the father. Recall the car signs: "Ex-husband in trunk." I used to cringe every time I saw one. Yes, it was funny, and it allowed someone to vent, but I'll tell you who it hurt. It hurt the children who had to ride in those cars. Deserved or not, it fueled antagonism, disrespected God and undermined authority the children desperately needed. Respect the father of your kids, like Eunice. IV. TEACH YOUR CHILDREN THE WORD II Tim 3:14-15. "14) But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it 15) and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus." Both Eunice and Lois made sure Timothy knew the Word. They (1:5) were primary in Tim's life. Not the synagogue, school or mentors. Mom! Parents are kids' first and primary teachers. Good to have them in church, youth programs, Bible schools and Sunday schools. But parents are primary. For good or ill, You become God's voice to your child through by teaching them the Word. There is no greater privilege in life. Deut. 6:6-8, "6) And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7) You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8) You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. Make home a homage to God. Read the Word every day with kids. Address problems thru Scripture. Initiate a memory program. Don't just tell your children to share - show them where the Bible says we are not to covet. Don't just insist that they obey, show them "Honor your parents." Don't just discipline them for fighting, show them "A soft answer turns away wrath." Teach them the fruit of the Spirit. Don't worry about big words. They'll get them. One family I know read a chapter of Proverbs every morning with their kids. They'd discuss which one caught their attention that day. When their son and daughter were in college, they worked an afternoon shift together at a factory. One day mom came home and found Proverbs open on the dining table. The kids had been reading a chapter to each other before work. Kids become what their parents are. What's your life tell them about the Word? V. LEAD YOUR CHILDREN TO FAITH It is your burden and privilege to lead your children to a sincere faith. Look at II Tim 1:5, "I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well." So how does one do this? First, pray. Only God can instill a sincere, honest, authentic, true faith. So, let prayer for your kids be on the tips of your tongue all the time. In this you must be partners with the Holy Spirit. No doubt Eunice did this. Second, example. Live what you teach. It must first be real with you if it is to be real with your children. This verse shows 3 generations of genuine, sincere faith. That didn't happen by accident. Do your kids see your faith in your talk, in your habits and lifestyle, in your priorities? Your children see through you like looking through a window, and you cannot fool them. Living your faith invites them to share your faith. Spurgeon told how his mother daily explained Scripture to him. Then she prayed. One prayer made an indelible impression. "Now, Lord, if my children go on in their sins, it will not be from ignorance that they perish. And my soul must bear a swift witness against them at the day of judgment if they lay not hold of Christ." This pleading with them for God and with God for them is the true way to bring children to Christ. VI. Raise Your Children to Release Them This is particularly hard for moms. They have bonded with this life from conception. Yet it is imperative. Children cannot become functioning adults until released by parents. Psa 127:4: "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. 5)Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth." You don't keep arrows to hang up and admire? Arrows are useless unless released. But it takes preparation to make them hit the target. So with children. The release process starts immediately. Your kids don't learn algebra in 1st grade, and you don't release them at 12. But as they learn math gradually, so you release them one personal decision at a time. This is hard. It's easier to make their decisions for them. Dobson says, "It may be messier for the child to feed himself; more untidy for him to dress himself; less clean when he attempts to bathe himself; less perfect for him to comb his hair; but unless his mother learns to sit on her hands and allow the child to cry and to try, she will overdo for the child, and independence will be delayed." Make it your aim to let go gradually so that by age 18 or so, they are ready to be independent. Kids differ so the process differs, but it's critical to your child's adult success that it happen - purposely. Conclusion Mothers, you are gifted wonderful people, and you literally have the world in your hands. What you are, is what our world will become. Dr. G. Campbell Morgan, great London preacher and commentator, had four sons. They all became ministers. At a family reunion, a friend asked one of the sons, "Which Morgan is the greatest preacher?" While the son looked at the father, he replied, "Mother!" Let's pray. 6