Mother's Day 2023 - Wisdom of a good mother.

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Intro

Many of us are familiar with Proverbs 31, especially the section from verse 10 and following.
Verse 10-31 are a description of the characteristics of a godly virtuous woman, a description provided us in Scripture by her own son.
These verses show the role of a woman in the day it was written through the kings description of his mother.
While how this is accomplished is different today, this passage shows devotion and dedication.
It can be summed up in verses such as
Colossians 3:23–24 ESV
23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.
We know scripture applies to all mankind so men don’t tune out, this section is important for you also.
If you have a wife, are you supporting her so she can be this type of woman,
if you are not married, are you looking to the heart of the woman you are courting or are you enamored by her external beauty alone.
The external will fade away, but the internal will remain and hopefully grow.
This is the same son who receives the instruction of verses 1-9.  He is referred to in our text as King Lemuel. 
Who King Lemuel is, we do not know.
Some commentators try to link him to someone but it is only guesswork at this point.
This first section of proverbs 31 is what I would like us to look to this morning.
I want to look at the section of Proverbs 31 this morning that is less well known, less referenced but equally as significant.
One reason for its significance is the fact that
We all have mothers, we would not be here if we did not.
For some, our our biological mothers may not be in our lives, and that is okay.
We still have someone who is a motherly figure in our lives.
As we were gone a couple of weekends ago, we attended a Koinonia weekend, a organization that my parents have been involved with since I was 6 month old.
I often realize when I am there the number of women that have had a motherly influence upon my life.
No matter your relationship with the mother that bore you, there is someone in your life that you can look to for wisdom and love that a mother provides.
Proverbs 31:1–9 ESV
1 The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him: 2 What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb? What are you doing, son of my vows? 3 Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings. 4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to take strong drink, 5 lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted. 6 Give strong drink to the one who is perishing, and wine to those in bitter distress; 7 let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more. 8 Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. 9 Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy.
Through these verses we are shown the love of a mother through the advice that she gave to her son.
We can break it into two sections, advice for relationship to self, and relationship to others.
Proverbs 31:1–3 ESV
1 The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him: 2 What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb? What are you doing, son of my vows? 3 Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings.
King Lemuel records words that his mother taught him beginning in verse 2.
Proverbs 31:2 ESV
2 What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb? What are you doing, son of my vows?
In very basic Hebrew this verse begins with the repetition What my son, 3 times.
Proverbs: An Introduction and Commentary (Wilson) i. The Role of the King (31:1–3)

Verse 2 reads literally, ‘What, my son, and what, the son of my womb, and what, son of my vows’

In Hebrew, repetition is significant.
Lemuel’s mother repeating this phrase 3 times to show significance for a couple of different reasons.
First the repetition of the word what is meant to get her sons attention.
We today might use the phrase, give your eyes.
I need to see that you are listening.
This shows her love and care for her son in that she knows she has the attention of her child.
She knows she has something worthwhile for him to hear and is demanding his attention.
The repetition of my son further shows this.
It shows the closeness of her relationship.
She is speaking to her son, the one she prayed for, the one she raised.
Vows might cause us to think of Hannah, the mother of Samuel.
1 Samuel 1:10–11 ESV
10 She was deeply distressed and prayed to the Lord and wept bitterly. 11 And she vowed a vow and said, “O Lord of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant and remember me and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a son, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and no razor shall touch his head.”
We know that it is not only by birth that this type of relationship is formed.
The relationship of a mother and a child can and does go far beyond birth.
It is a commitment to love and nurture a child that is placed under your care.
Lemuel is recounting the love his mother had for him.
A love that demanded respect and a love that commanded a response from him.
Having his attention, in verse 3 she begins with the instruction.
Her first instruction is in regards to personal relationships.
Proverbs 31:3 ESV
3 Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings.
Strength

vi•ril•i•ty \və-ˈri-lə-tē, Britain also vī-\ noun

1586: the quality or state of being virile:

a: MANHOOD 3

b: manly vigor: MASCULINITY

In one sense, this goes back to the garden of Eden and the curse that God said would be upon Adam and Eve
Genesis 3:16 ESV
16 To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.”
In a sense she is warning him not to give to women what he has been directed by God to do.
There is a little bit more to the story though as well when we include that fact that she warns of women plural.
In bible times it was not uncommon for kings to have harems of women.
We know from scripture that was not God’s plan or design.
God’s design for human marriage is one man and one woman for life.
We see how it got even the most Godly of kings, King David, called a man after God’s own heart, into trouble.
The word is actually used in a positive way in verse 10.
Excellent
Proverbs 31:10 ESV
10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.
She continues saying do not give your ways to those who destroy kings.
She is not talking about a journey or a path.
Lemuel’s mother is speaking about moral action and character
Look at how this word is used elsewhere in proverbs
Way
Proverbs 22:5 ESV
5 Thorns and snares are in the way of the crooked; whoever guards his soul will keep far from them.
Proverbs 28:6 ESV
6 Better is a poor man who walks in his integrity than a rich man who is crooked in his ways.
This mother loves her son enough to warn him not to get lost in the pleasures, the desires, the things of this world.
As godly mothers, this is a role you have to play with your children.
To warn them, you first must not be lost in or caught up in them yourselves.
Check your own heart and your own example.
But then also love your children enough to warn them of the dangers of the world around them.
What destroys kings is the luxuriant and corrupt and decadent lifestyle that most monarchs live–a way that destroys them mind, body, and spirit.
An insatiable desire for things of this world, money, pleasure, things.
Society urges our young people to throw off moral restraint, do their own thing.
How we need Christian homes where that tide will be stemmed. 
Where purity and restraint and self-control are taught.
Where pleasing God and being like Christ are the goal!!
Once sin has established a beachhead it will continue it’s destructive work until it has consumed the very heartland of your life.
Listen to what the Bible says…
Proverbs 5:22 ESV
22 The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him, and he is held fast in the cords of his sin.
James 1:14–16 ESV
14 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. 15 Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. 16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers.
Verses 4-5 continue this inward reflection warning the king about another danger that often ensnares people.
Proverbs 31:4–5 ESV
4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to take strong drink, 5 lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted.
We must keep in mind the lavish lifestyle of kings.
The OT speaks of a couple kings who fell to drink:
Elah 1 Kings 16:8–10
1 Kings 16:8–10 ESV
8 In the twenty-sixth year of Asa king of Judah, Elah the son of Baasha began to reign over Israel in Tirzah, and he reigned two years. 9 But his servant Zimri, commander of half his chariots, conspired against him. When he was at Tirzah, drinking himself drunk in the house of Arza, who was over the household in Tirzah, 10 Zimri came in and struck him down and killed him, in the twenty-seventh year of Asa king of Judah, and reigned in his place.
The Syrian king Ben-Hadad of Aram (1 Kings 20:16), was defeated as he and 32 other kings who were helping him assault Israel were drinking themselves drunk.
Kings in general are spoken of in Ecclesiastes
Ecclesiastes 10:17 ESV
17 Happy are you, O land, when your king is the son of the nobility, and your princes feast at the proper time, for strength, and not for drunkenness!
We know from elsewhere in scripture that drinking period is not the full extent of the issue.
1 Timothy 5:23 ESV
23 (No longer drink only water, but use a little wine for the sake of your stomach and your frequent ailments.)
There is however a purpose, a place, and a extent to the use.
We see her describe some of this use in the following verses.
But for kings or leaders especially, that use ought to be more limited.
For a king or leaders wits must be sharp at all times.
A king must not get caught up in lusting for things of this world.
In verses 6-8 Lemuel’s mother now shifts her focus on her sons relationship to those around him.
Proverbs 31:6–9 ESV
6 Give strong drink to the one who is perishing, and wine to those in bitter distress; 7 let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more. 8 Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. 9 Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy.
Here Lemuel’s mother is instructing him, that even though he is a king, he must first and foremost be a servant.
Proverbs Kings Speak out for the Poor (31:1–9)

The ideal king protects the poor and defenseless, caring for them instead of amassing wealth and building great palaces

Behind this recommendation to give drink is a concern for responsible execution of judgment and care for the least powerful members of the kingdom.
Instead of storing wine in his cellars, the king should offer it as comfort to those who hurt.
The “wine” is both a real comfort and a symbol of the fair judgment and rule that a king gives to his people
It is shocking here to read of the instruction that Lemuel’s mother is telling him.
To give people wine to drink and forget to escape trouble.
We must look at it in contrast though as well to the previous verse where the phrase is used of a king who has no troubles ought not do such a thing.
As a king, he does not have the hardships or troubles that he would need to drink to forget.
Proverbs Kings Speak out for the Poor (31:1–9)

drink and forget” describe an irresponsible king who has no misery to forget, yet drinks anyway.

To offer drink was to a sign of generosity of the king.
The phrase is repeated twice, in verse 8 and verse 9.
Open your mouth.
She continues on to instruct her son, the king to speak out for the poor.
When are we most likely to speak up?
We most frequently speak up in our own defense.
For our own cause, not for the cause of others.
Proverbs Kings Speak out for the Poor (31:1–9)

Above all, wise speech is speech that advocates for the rights of the poor.

Lemuel’s mother is instructing her son that this must be part of your job description.
As mothers, that role is the same.
And it is first and foremost one that must be led by example.
Lemuel’s mother tells him to set aside wine, women, and song for the responsibilities of leadership, giving the needy what they need for comfort and aid and speaking out for their rights.
We must listen with Lemuel as his mother urges responsible use of authority and power, serving not ourselves or those who can help us but those who have nothing to give in return.
We can also make a clear connection here to the greatest king and the greatest servant.
Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Matthew 20:28 ESV
28 even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
He came to serve and pay the ultimate price that we might have life.
Paying the debt that we owe for sin upon the cross.
Women I believe more naturally portray the servant role that Christ shows.
As men, we have to work a lot harder at it.
Application -
Older Godly women, you have wisdom that we need.
1 Timothy 5:1–2 ESV
1 Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.
Titus 2:3–5 ESV
3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
The church needs godly women standing beside godly men each growing together in godliness, pushing one another to become more like Christ each and every day.
We know that none of this can be accomplished without first having Christ in your life.
As women, mothers, grandmothers, there is first a call to be obedient to Christ.
To know Christ as your Lord and savior.
And then to share Jesus those your come in contact with.
I am thankful for the many motherly and grandmotherly figures that I have in my life that point me to Christ on a regular basis.
As men, we need to see the side of God that only women can show us.
Because women are made equally in the image of God as men.
But are made distinctly female, portraying qualities of God that no man can ever display.
Mothers, grandmothers, be that for someone
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