A Mother's Portfolio

Asking a 4-year old to give a lecture on brain surgery would seem ridiculous to most people. Likewise, having me give a Mother’s Day sermon always seems somewhat challenging, given my feelings of inadequacy about this, as a man.

However, the Bible gives the most perfect illustrations and teachings regarding a mother’s role, as well as a father’s role. I came upon a devotional my wife gave back in 1984 at a baby shower in Palos Hills, IL, for a friend of ours. I was once again impressed by my wife’s amazing spiritual depth, so I decided to borrow a few ideas from her devotional.

When we think of portfolios, we usually think of investments. That is how we’ll be looking at this message for Mother’s Day. Proverbs 22.6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.” This verse has been used by some to heap guilt upon parents whose adult children are not walking with Christ, suggesting that the parents did not work hard enough to “train up” their children. It also has been used by well-meaning people to provide hope that ungodly children will return to a godly lifestyle at some point in their lives. However, both of these usages are incorrect and can cause great discouragement. The passage does, in fact, express hope, but no promise. The book of Proverbs is a collection of pithy, wise sayings that contain general truths, but not necessarily promises. A proverb is brief and poetic in order to be memorable, enabling it to be handed down from generation to generation, providing a form of wise and moral grounding.

It’s generally true that a child raised by godly parents to live a godly lifestyle will continue to live out this lifestyle. But it is not a guarantee. There are many children who have been raised well by godly parents who have bought into the ways of the world and no longer follow Christ. Proverbs speaks to this as well. But this specific proverb challenges parents to raise their children well and offers hope that the probable outcome will be glorious.

In the investment world, we were taught to not guarantee increases in the stocks; since they all have a potential risk for loss. However, the majority of the time, if investing wisely and over the long term, the investments usually would be positive.

Being a mother is a lifetime investment.

The Initial Investment Is Sobering.

I remember when our oldest son, Joel, was born in our apartment right across the street from the church in Palos Hills. We both were somewhat in a state of shock. For several months before the birth, we had speculated about what it would be like for Jannita to give birth to a baby. I feel that I can safely assume that this was much more on her mind than my mind. We both took natural childbirth classes and did daily exercises for the birth. As a guy, I was somewhat oblivious, not realizing that what I had experienced on the farm was going to be completely different; this was my wife about to give birth to our firstborn.

Joel’s birthday came on October 5, 1983. When he entered into this world outside of his mother, we both gazed down into his amazing little face. It was then we both realized the reality of his total dependence on us, especially on his mother.

As the midwife was helping us getting organized and ready for our new roles, Jannita & I talked about how we wished we had an actual step by step guide on how to care for this new little person. Even with my library, we knew we had no such manual. Jannita wisely spoke out stating that God would give her unique inner feelings that would match with the Bible; that would be the best manual.

Proverbs 3.6 states:“In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.” So, with much prayer and helpful advice from many people, we started with the big job of the pursuit of becoming godly parents.

The Personal Spiritual Investment Is Necessary.

Parents understand that after the child is born, the immediate joy is overshadowed by the daily routines. Many mothers find themselves asking a variety of questions. The reason is found in that so much needs to be done that life becomes a bit overwhelming. What about me? What about what I want? Many mothers share these feelings. I usually hear that they recognize this to be selfish thinking, yet those thoughts don’t go away. Then they ask, What should I do?

Here is where mothers and all of us need to get a correct perspective from God’s Word. We know that the Bible tells us to trust the Lord. The Bible also tells us to cast all our cares on Him. All of us, especially mothers, come to those times, when we wonder what we are doing. Here is where we can remember to talk to our Lord who promised to direct our paths. He also promised to never leave us or forsake us. The Lord knows just exactly how you are feeling. I like to think I come up with some original quotes and thoughts, but I realize that between the Bible and my wife, that’s most likely where they come from. Here’s one Jannita shared that I’ve freely stolen; God gives us hard times like those to help us grow.

Raising a child automatically brings us into situations that lead to growth. Growth that takes us out of our selfishness and into God’s goodness. Growth that brings us beyond our impatience and into His love. Growth that pushes us past our own limiting fears and into His hope. God actually wants us to come to Him even in times of frustration and helplessness.

In order to lean heavily on the Lord, requires making time for prayer and daily Bible reading. Many times this seems impossible in middle of whatever crisis or situation you may find yourself. It has been stated that putting prayer and Bible reading ahead of dirty dishes and house cleaning has brought its own rewards. Jannita used to try to take the first 15 minutes of Joel’s morning nap to spend time with God. Often it went longer than that, causing Joel to be up before she had a chance to do anything else. Then you add more children and the challenges increase exponentially. Later, she would attempt to get up before any children might think about awakening. This helper her to keep her perspective straight. She would say that personal investment in her spiritual life was necessary in helping her attitude.

The Family Time Investment Is Essential.

Another important thing in raising a child is time together as a family. This can often seem impossible at times, yet the rewards will be long lasting. Spend time together in devotions and prayer in order to teach spiritual truths to your children. This will also teach a pattern that they will hopefully transfer over to their own quiet times later in their lives.

In addition, spend time playing together. Go out and do things as a family. We want to be the ones who introduce our children to the world.

The job of mothering goes far beyond feeding your child, washing their clothes, picking up toys or changing dirty diapers. Mothers also are heavily involved in the formation of character, which requires it be part of their daily activity. Mothers, as you interact with your children on a physical level, you also relate to them on an emotional, intellectual and spiritual level as your child learns what it means to be part of a group of people called the family. They learn attitudes about life. Children form ideas of God and learn how to love and to be loved. Mothers are an incredible player in the whole parenting process.

The Privilege of Investment Is Honoring.

One other important thing to know, but is difficult to accept at times, is that our children are not owned by us, but are rather loaned to us from God. They are truly God’s special blessings to us and He has given us the responsibility of caring for them for a short time. When that day comes for them to leave our homes; either to live as an adult on their own or even if God should call them to be with Him, we must be ready to release them. We should know that we have done our best to prepare them for that time.

Raising children for God is a very noble job. Don’t allow society to demean you for being a mother. I believe it is the most honorable job there is.

Remember these things when you have days where the house may be overdue for a cleaning, the laundry is still waiting, meals are late, and you find yourself either rocking your precious child to sleep or having a heart to heart conversation with that child. Remember to take time to thank God for giving you the special privilege of being a mother. There will come a day, years later when the house is quieter, your house will be spotless and organized and your children will be grown and gone. Then you can look back with fond memories of those special days.

Ponderings

My wife has stated that one of the things she has learned as a mother is that time invested with your children is a limited number of years. Mothers, you will reap the rewards for eternity. Being a mother is a lifetime investment.

Let me close with a quote from Jannita: Of all the many things a woman has the option of doing in her lifetime, I feel the greatest is to prepare her child for life and the life to come; to worship and praise God and respect their fellow man.