HOPE IN HOME
I Peter • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
0 ratings
· 4 viewsNotes
Transcript
THE PATTERN OF CHRIST IN THE HOME
A strange situation exists in society today. We have more readily available information about sex and marriage than ever before, yet we have more marital problems and divorces. Something is wrong. It is insufficient to say that God is needed in these homes because even many Christian marriages are falling apart.
The fact that a man and a woman are both saved is no guarantee that their marriage will succeed. Marriage is something that we have to work at; success is not automatic. And when one marriage partner is not a Christian, that can make matters even more difficult. Peter addressed this section of his letter to Christian wives with unsaved husbands, telling them how to win their mates to Christ. Then he added some necessary admonitions for Christian husbands.
No matter your marital status, you can learn the essentials for a happy and successful marriage from Peter.
1. A PATTERN OF THE PERFECT EXAMPLE
1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
The phrases "in the same manner" and "in like manner" refer us back to Peter's discussion of the example of Jesus Christ (
I Peter 2:21-25 . Just as Jesus was submissive and obedient to God's will, so a Christian husband and wife should follow His example.
1 Peter 2:21–25 (KJV 1900)
21 For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:
22 Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth:
23 Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:
24 Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.
25 For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now returned unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls.
Much of our learning in life comes by way of imitation. Grandparents have a delightful time watching their grandchildren "pick up" new skills and words as they grow up. If we imitate the best models, we will become better people and achievers; but if we imitate the wrong models, it will cripple our lives and possibly ruin our characters.
The "role models" that we follow influence us in every area of life.
While standing in the checkout line in a supermarket, I overheard two women discussing the latest Hollywood scandal featured on the front page of a newspaper displayed on the counter. As I listened (and I could not help but hear them!), I thought: "How foolish to worry about the sinful lives of matinee idols. Why clutter up your mind with such trash? Why not get acquainted with decent people and learn from their lives?" A few days later, I overheard a conversation about marital problems on a certain television "soap serial," and the same thoughts came to me.
There will be trouble in the home when Christian couples try to imitate the world and get their standards from Hollywood instead of heaven. But if both partners imitate Jesus Christ in His submission, obedience, and desire to serve others, there will be triumph and joy in the home. A psychiatrist friend of mine states that the best thing a Christian husband can do is pattern himself after Jesus Christ. In Christ, we see a beautiful blending of strength and tenderness, which is what it takes to be a successful husband.
Peter also pointed to Sarah as a model for Christian wives to follow. To be sure, Sarah was not perfect, but she proved to be a good helpmeet to Abraham, and she is one of the few women named in Hebrews 11. I once made a pastoral visit on a woman who said she had marital problems, and I noticed many "movie fan club magazines" in the magazine rack. After listening to the woman's problems, I concluded that she needed to follow Bible examples and models and get her mind off of worldly examples.
We can only follow Christ’s example if we first know Him as our Saviour and then submit to Him as our Lord. We must spend time with Him each day, meditating on the Word and praying, and a Christian husband and wife must pray together and seek to encourage each other in the faith.
2. THE POWERFUL PRIORITY OF SUBJECTION
1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
Twice in this paragraph, Peter reminded Christian wives that they were to be submissive to their husbands (1, 5).
The word translated as "subjection" is a military term that means "to place under rank."
God has a place for everything; He has ordained various levels of authority
13 Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord’s sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme;
14 Or unto governors, as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well.
He has ordained that the husband be the head of the home (Eph. 5:21ff) and that, as he submits to Christ, his wife should submit to him. Headship is not a dictatorship but the loving exercise of divine authority under the Lordship of Jesus Christ.
Peter gave three reasons why a Christian wife should submit to her husband, even if the husband (as in this case) is not saved.
A. SUBMISSION IS AN OBLIGATION ( I Peter 3:1
1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
God has commanded it because, in His wisdom, He knows that this is the best arrangement for a happy, fulfilling marriage. Subjection does not mean that the wife is inferior to the husband. In verse 7, Peter clarified that the husband and wife are "heirs together." The same Creator makes man and woman out of the same basic material, and both are made in God's image. God gave dominion to both Adam and Eve (Gen. 1:28), and in Jesus Christ they are one (Gal. 3:28).
The submission has to do with order and authority, not evaluation. For example, the slaves in the aver. age Roman household were superior in many ways to their masters, but they still had to be under authority. The buck private in the army may be a better person than the five-star general, but he is still a buck private. Even Christ Himself became a servant and submitted to God's will. Nothing is degrading about submitting to authority or accepting God's order. It is the first step toward fulfillment. And Ephesians 5:21 makes it clear that both husband and wife must first be submitted to Jesus Christ.
Husbands and wives must be partners, not competitors. After a wedding ceremony, I often privately say to the bride and groom, "Now, remember, from now on it's no longer mine or yours, but ours." This explains why Christians must always marry other Christians, for a believer cannot enter deep "oneness" with an unbeliever (2 Cor.6:14-18).
B. SUBMISSIONS AN OPPORTUNITY
Unsaved husband to Christ. God not only commands submission, but He uses it as a powerful spiritual influence in a home.
This does not mean that a Christian wife "gives in" to her unsaved husband in order to subtly manipulate him and get him to do what she desires. This kind of selfish psychological persuasion ought never to be found in a Christian's heart or home.
An unsaved husband will not be converted by preaching or nagging in the home. The phrase
"without the word" does not mean "without the Word of God," because salvation comes through the Word (John 5:24). It means "without talk, without a lot of speaking." Christian wives who preach at their husbands only drive them farther from the Lord. I know one zealous wife who used to keep religious radio programs on all evening, usually very loud, so that her unsaved husband would "hear the truth." She only made it easier for him to leave home and spend his evenings with his friends.
The wife’s character and conduct will win the lost husband- not arguments, but such attitudes as submission, understanding, love, kindness, and patience. These qualities are not manufactured; they are the fruit of the Spirit that comes when we are submitted to Christ and to one another. A Christian wife with "purity and reverence" will reveal in her life "the praises" of God (1 Peter 2:9 and influence her husband to trust Christ.
In a Christian home, we must minister to each other. A Christian husband must minister to his wife and help to "beautify her" in the Lord (Eph. 5:25-30
A Christian wife must encourage her husband and help him grow strong in the Lord. Parents and children must share burdens and blessings and seek to maintain an atmosphere of spiritual excitement and growth in the home. If unsaved people are in the home, they will be won to Christ more by what they see in our lives and relationships than by what they hear in our witness.
C. SUBMISSION IS AN ORNAMENT (I PETER 3:3-6
3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
The word translated "adorning" is kosmos in the Greek and gives us our English words "cosmos" (the ordered universe) and "cosmetic." It is the opposite of chaos.
Peter warned the Christian wife not to major on external decorations but on internal character.
Roman women were captivated by the latest fashions of the day, and competed with each other in dress and hairdos. It was not unusual for the women to have elaborate coiffures studded with gold and silver combs and even jewels. They wore elaborate and expensive garments, all to impress each other.
A Christian wife with an unsaved husband might think that she must imitate the world if she is going to win her mate, but just the opposite is true. Glamor is artificial and external; true beauty is natural and internal. Glamor is something a person can put on and take off, but true beauty is always present.
Glamor is corruptible; it decays and fades. True beauty from the heart grows more incredible as the years pass. A Christian woman who cultivates the beauty of the inner person will not have to depend on cheap externals. God is concerned about values, not prices.
Of course, a wife should still pay attention to herself and try to be up-to-date in her apparel. It simply means that she is not majoring on being a "fashion plate" to keep up with the crowd." Any husband is proud of an attractive wife, but that beauty must come from the heart, not the store. We are not of this world, but we must not look like we came from out of this world!
Peter allowed the wearing of jewelry any more than the wearing of apparel. The word "wear-ing" in verse 3 means "the putting around," and refers to a gaudy jewelry display. It is possible to wear jewelry and still honor God; we must not judge one another.
Peter closed this section by pointing to Sarah as an example of a godly, submissive wife. Read Genesis 18 for the background. Christian wives today would probably embarrass their husbands if they called them "lord," but their attitudes ought to be such that they could call them "lord" and people would believe it. The believing wife who submits to Christ and to her husband, and who cultivates a "meek and quiet spirit will never have to be afraid. (The "fear" in this verse means "terror," while in verse 2 it means "reverence.") God will watch over her even when her unsaved mate creates problems and difficulties for her.
3. THE POWERFUL PRIORITY OF CONSIDERATION (I Peter 3:7
7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
Why did Peter devote more space to instructing the wives than the husbands? Because the Christian wives were experiencing a whole new situation and needed guidance. Women were generally kept down in the Roman Empire, and their new freedom in Christ created new problems and challenges. Furthermore, many of them had unsaved husbands and needed extra encouragement and enlightenment.
As Peter wrote to the Christian husbands, he reminded them of four areas of responsibility in their relationship with their mates.
A. PHYSICAL-"DWELL WITH THEM."
This implies much more than sharing the same address. Marriage is fundamentally a physical relationship: "They two shall be one flesh" (Eph. 5:31). Of course, Christian mates enjoy a deeper spiritual relationship, but the two go together (1 Cor. 7:1-5). A truly spiritual husband will fulfill his marital duties and love his wife.
The husband must make time to be home with his wife. Christian workers and church officers who get too busy solving other people's problems may create their own problems at home. One survey revealed that the average husband and wife communicated thirty-seven minutes a week together! Is it any wonder that marriages fall apart after the children grow up and leave home? The husband and wife are left alone to live with strangers!
"Dwell with them" also suggests that the husband provides for the physical and material needs of the home. While it is not wrong for a wife to have a job or career, her first responsibility is to care for the home (Titus 2:4-5). It is the husband who should provide (1 Tim. 5:8).
B. INTELLECTUAL-" ACCORDING TO KNOWLEDGE."
Somebody asked Mrs. Albert Einstein if she understood Dr. Einstein's theory of relativity, and she replied,
"No, but I understand the Doctor." In my premarital counseling as a pastor, I often gave the couple paper pads and asked them to write down the three things each one thinks the other enjoys doing the most. Usually, the prospective bride made her list immediately; the man would sit and ponder. And usually, the girl was right but the man was wrong! What a beginning for a marriage!
Amazingly, two married people can live together and not know each other! Ignorance is dangerous in any area of life, but it is hazardous in marriage. A Christian husband must know his wife's moods, feelings, needs, fears, and hopes. He needs to "listen with his heart" and share meaningful communication with her. There must be such a protective atmosphere of love and submission in the home that the husband and wife can disagree and still be happy together.
"Speaking the truth in love" is the solution to the communications problem (Eph. 4:15). It has well been said that love without truth is hypocrisy, and truth without love is brutality. We need both truth and love if we are to grow in our understanding of one another. How can a husband show consideration for his wife if he does not understand her needs or problems? To say "I never knew you felt that way!" is to confess that, at some point, one mate excommunicated the other. When either mate is afraid to be open and honest about a matter, you build walls, not bridges.
C. EMOTIONAL-"GIVING HONOR UNTO THE WIFE."
Chivalry may be dead, but every husband must be a
"knight in shining armor" who treats his wife like a princess. (By the way, the name Sarah means “princess.”) Peter did not suggest that a wife is "the weaker vessel mentally, morally, or spiritually, but rather physically. There are exceptions, of course, but generally speaking, the man is the stronger of the two when it comes to physical accomplishments.
The husband should treat his wife like an expensive, beautiful, fragile vase, in which is a precious treasure.
When a young couple starts dating, the boy is courteous and thoughtful. After they get engaged, he shows even more courtesy and always acts like a gentleman. Sadly, soon after they get married, many a husband forgets to be kind and gentlemanly and takes his wife for granted. He forgets that happiness in a home is made up of many little things, including the small courtesies of life.
Great resentments often grow out of small hurts.
Husbands and wives need to be honest with each other, admit hurts, and seek forgiveness and healing. "Giving honor unto the wife" does not mean "giving in to the wife." A husband can disagree with his wife and still respect and honor her.
As the spiritual leader in the home, the husband must sometimes make decisions that are not popular; but he can still act with courtesy and respect.
"Giving honor" means that the husband respects his wife's feelings, thoughts, and desires. He may disagree with her ideas, but he respects them. Often God balances a marriage so that the husband needs what the wife has in her personality, and she likewise needs his good qualities. An impulsive husband often has a patient wife, which helps keep him out of trouble!
The husband must be the "thermostat" in the home, setting the emotional and spiritual temperature. The wife often is the "thermometer," letting him know what that temperature is! Both are necessary. The husband who is sensitive to his wife's feelings will not only make her happy, but will also grow himself and help his children live in a home that honors God.
D. SPIRITUAL "THAT YOUR PRAYERS BE NOT HINDERED."
Peter assumed that husbands and wives would pray together. Often, they do not; and this is the reason for much failure and unhappiness. If unconverted people can have happy homes without prayer (and they do), how much happier Christian homes would be with prayer? The prayer life of a couple indicates how things are going in the home. If something needs to be fixed, their prayers will be supported.
A husband and wife must have their own private prayer time each day. They also need to pray together and to have a time of "family devotion." How this is organized will change from home to home, and even from time to time as the children grow up and schedules change. The Word of God and prayer are basic to a happy, holy home (Acts 6:4).
A husband and wife are "heirs together." If the wife shows submission and the husband’s consideration, and if both submit to Christ and follow His example, then they will have an enriching experience in their marriage. If not, they will miss God's best and rob each other of blessings and growth.
"The grace of life" may refer to children, who are certainly a heritage from God (Ps. 127:3); but even childless couples can enjoy spiritual riches if they obey Peter's admonitions.
It might be good if husbands and wives occasionally took inventory of their marriages. Here are some questions based on what Peter wrote.
1. Are we partners or competitors?
2. Are we helping each other become more spiritual?
3. Are we depending on the externals or the eternals? The artificial or the real?
4. Do we understand each other better?
5. Are we sensitive to each other's feelings and ideas, or taking each other for granted?
6. Are we seeing God answer our prayers?
7. Are we enriched because of our marriage, or robbing each other of God's blessing?
Honest answers to these questions make a difference!
