The Characteristcs of a Biblcal Mother

**Disclaimer** I am fond of dads, and I fully understand and support their roles in the nuclear family. That being said, this day is about moms and dads will get their turn in a couple of weeks.

The book of Proverbs is broken into 3 sections. Chapters 1-9, 10-29, and Chapters 30-31

The first section introduces this book of wisdom and starts off with 10 speeches from a father to son in which he instructs his son on how to be righteous, or how to live well in God’s world.

The second section Proverbs are not promises. They are guidelines to a better life.

The third section, 30-31

Proverbs 31:10–31 (ESV)

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.

It was not long ago that I began preaching, but I never would have thought that I would have to stand before a crowd and make a clarification on what a mother is. A mother is a human being with the Chromosomes XX that raises a child. Simply giving birth does not make you a mother, or not a good one anyways. Producing life makes you human. God gave us that ability, but to be a mother is so much more.

Ephesians 2:10 “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

The virtuous mother is the personification of the book of Proverbs, and laid out in detail through the last 21 verses of the book. Lets look at those characteristics this morning.

Mothers are precious. Finer than any jewel that could be hewn from the earth. A woman being precious has 2 meaning: 1) She is valuable. She is different than all the other ladies in a good and moral way. Because of this difference, she is set apart. She is far higher than those around her. But who can find? Listen, we all know that good women are out there, and fine mothers they will be some day, but they are fewer and far between. This is a pitch to you ladies, whether a mother yet or not, be different. Be noticeably different from the women of the world around you, and find joy in your differences. If you are trying to fit in with the people of this world, if you are comparing yourself to them rather than comparing yourself to God’s word, then you will only bring your value DOWN and bring disappointment to your current and future life (future husband and family).

2) Because a woman has such high value, she should be treated as such. If you had a string of fine pearls you would not store them in a shoe-box buried in the back yard. They would be treated with the utmost respect and gentleness because they are rare, and they are valuable. A virtuous woman is more that of jewels.

Somebody said that a child is carried in its mother’s womb for nine months. Somebody does not know that a child is carried in its mother’s heart forever.

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you’ve had a baby. Somebody doesn’t know that once you’re a mother, normal is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct. Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring. Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver’s permit.

Somebody said “good” mothers never raise their voices. Somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor’s kitchen window.

Somebody said you don’t need an education to be a mother. Somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.

Somebody said you can’t love the fifth child as much as you love the first. Somebody doesn’t have five children.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books. Somebody never had a child stuff beans up her nose.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery. Somebody never watched her “baby” get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married. Somebody doesn’t know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother’s heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother’s job is done when her last child leaves home. Somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don’t need to tell her. Somebody isn’t a mother.

Mothers Are Precious. Beyond measure.

A Virtuous Mother is the greatest Asset to life:

Obviously the mother is essential to life. Without mothers, there will be no children. In the garden we had Adam, but the plan stalls with him because he did not have the means of producing a child. It takes 2 equal parts.

But beyond that the woman blesses the home. She is trusted. In common ancient practice the husband who could not trust the wife would lock away their valuable possessions so that she could not use them carelessly, but the husband of the virtuous woman trusts her. What does she do with that trust? She uses it for gain. She purchases the needs of the household from food, to clothing, to making investments in things that will support her family in the future. She watches carefully over her tasks and she is resourceful. Making certain that what she lays her hands to is a gain, and not a lose. This woman is busy, and because of that her family reaps the benefits.

Now how does this work in today’s world. Have you ever worn something your mother made? Have you ever mended your own clothing? How many of you own a sewing machine? How many know how to sew buy hand? How many of you have fixed something by hand rather than throwing it out and buying something new every time you have a small tear or rip a little hole? (It’s called being resourceful.) Even I know how to sew thanks to my grandmother. She made many pillows, mended many shirts, hemmed many pairs of pants.

How many of you have a garden planted? You are producing your own food. That’s economical and self-sufficient. It is also wise because your food will not be laden with chemicals that destroy the body. Anyone shop at farmers markets? The women in biblical days literally shopped at farmers markets because those were the stores! Now it is more of the hip alternative to “normal” living. We have come full circle.

How many of you notice when you are out of toilet paper, shampoo, laundry detergent, cereal, milk, the iron is getting worn, the cabinets need dusting, the floors are dirty, and the list goes on and on. Then you go about correcting the situations. That is what a the writer of Proverbs 31 is talking about here. The virtuous mother looks after her families needs, and does well by them. Everything she does prospers the family. Mothers, I want you to know this. What you do in your day to day life is far more important than your family notices or gives you credit for. You can never appreciate a good mother enough. You certainly can and do

Mothers are to be praised for their hard work and diligence.

The virtuous mother is a hard worker. Not only does she do it, but she sees the labor as a duty rather than a chore. It brings her purpose, fulfillment, and identity rather than a sense of burden. She may complain at time, she may ache, but day in and day out she labors.

It is not easy running a household. Washing the clothes, folding the laundry, sweeping and moping the floors, cooking the dinners, packing the lunches, double checking the backpacks, picking up the house, fixing the cuts and scrapes, being quick to the child’s side when they wake in the night with various illnesses. How many of you had a scrape fixing by your mother kissing it? How many of you felt comforted by your mother holding your hand or your head while you were sick? How wonderful are moms? You know when we are young there is nothing that our moms could not do.

“A mother’s lap is the best place from which to launch a life.”—Sarah Hupp

“She’s someone who will listen to your problems until you are bored with them.”—Ellen Goodman

How many of you when you were younger understood the weight that your mother carried? Balancing kids, the house, her own work life if she has a job. You know there are only so many hours in a week, but somehow she finds a way to get it done. But now that you are older, most of you, you have tasted and experienced that life for yourself. You know a little more about what momma went through juggling it all. Are you not proud of her? What a worker she is!

A virtuous mother is prepared and ready. I want to throw this disclaimer out there. Sometimes your kids are going to hit you with things out of left field that you had no idea about. You virtue is not canceled because your child informs you at 10 pm that they have a project due at 8 am the next morning and they need 3 sticks of Elmer’s glue. This is talking about being ready for stages of life and scenarios that might befall the family. The stomach bug that hits late at night, the snow that may or may not fall over the weekend, noticing that their shoes are getting worn so you pick up a new pair for the moment they run to you once they are ruined. The virtuous Mother is rarely caught off-guard without a plan of action.

A Virtuous Mother is dignified. vs 17, 22-23; 25

We have all experienced times where we have been out in the community, we see it more often school sponsored activities (ball games), that we notice a mother that does not seem to act her age. It is embarrassing for both the mothers, and those who have to endure them. Mothers are to be dignified, carrying the element of seriousness with them. Listen, you can be friendly to your children, but it is not your job to be their friend. Being the “cool mom” is not something that you should strive for. Do you know why everyone wants to go over to the house with the “cool mom”, because the parents lack control of their household. Teenagers know that when they go to so-and-so’s house, then they will be able to do things they normally would not get away with at their house. Why? Because one mother is virtuous, while the other hangs loose and lives free. Now this does not mean that the virtuous mother is a stick in the mud nor does it mean she is boring. She is raising her kids to be well respected people not only in this world, but in the kingdom of God as well. There are a lot of undignified mothers who produced children who are well known, yet they are well known in this fleshly cesspool we call earth. Remember this, youth, just because they have friends does not mean they are doing a single thing right.

A virtuous Mother is Wise And what is the beginning of wisdom? The fear of the Lord.

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

One of the most notoriously bad characters that ever lived in New York was Orville Gardner. He was the trainer of prize-fighters and companion of all sorts of hard characters. His reputation was so thoroughly bad that he was called “Awful Gardner.”

He had a little boy, whom he dearly loved, and this boy died. A short time after his boy’s death, he was standing at the bar in a New York saloon, surrounded by a number of his boon companions. The night was sweltering, and he stepped outside the saloon to get a little fresh air. As he stood out there and looked up between the high buildings at the sky above his head, a bright star was shining down upon him, and as he stood looking at the star, he said to himself, “I wonder where my little boy is tonight?” Then the thought came to him quick as a flash, “Wherever he is, you will never see him again unless you change your life.”

Touched by the Spirit of God, he hurried from the saloon to the room where he knew his godly mother was. He went in and asked his mother to pray for him. She did pray for him, and she led him to Christ.

He went home to where he kept a jug of whiskey. He did not dare to keep it and did not know what to do with it. Finally he took it down to the river, got into a boat and rowed over to an island. He set the liquor on a rock and knelt down, and as he afterwards said, “Fought that jug of whiskey for a long time,” and God gave him perfect deliverance.

But what should he do with the jug? He did not dare break it, lest the fumes set him wild. He did not dare leave it, lest someone else get it. Finally he dug a hole in the ground with his heel and buried it. He left the island a free man.

He became a mighty preacher of the gospel. It was through listening to him preach that Jerry McAuley (a convict turned preacher and founder of the McAuley Water Street Mission) was set to thinking, and that thinking afterwards led to his conversion.

“I learned more about God from my mother than from all the theologians in England.”—Charles Wesley

“I cannot tell how much I owe to the prayers of my good mother.”—Charles Spurgeon

My mom did not raise me to be a preacher any more than Jeffrey Dahmer’s mother raised him to be a serial killer, but She instilled within me the traits of a Godly man. Because of her a foundation was laid that the Lord used throughout my life to guide and direct me. Every preacher, every teacher, every good hearted soul that poured into me throughout life has only laid upon the foundation that my mother established within me.

Let me tell you something, moms. Your children, both sons and daughters, are modeling their lives after you. If you take a hard stance on something such as religious matters, they are far more likely too as well.

A study conducted by the Barna Research Group found that roughly seven out of ten Americans adults (71%) had a period of time during their childhood when they regularly attended a Christian church. Apparently, old habits die hard: a majority of those who attended church as a youngster still attend regularly today (61%), while a large majority of those who were not church-goers as children are still absent from churches today (78%).

Church attendance is declining by generation, regardless of childhood church experience. However, the decline is steeper among adults who did not go to church as a child.

We do not wrestle against flesh and blood. The greatest enemy you will ever encounter is one that you will never with your human eyes, but Peter describes him as a lion who is roaming around like looking for his next dinner. He looks for weaknesses, and once he finds one, he attacks it mercilessly. He will destroy your life, he will destroy your home, he will destroy your children if you allow him. Mom’s, stand in the gap. Do your best to protect your household. Jesus said let the one who has no sword sell his cloak and buy one. This has nothing to do with violence or aggression. Jesus was telling His followers to protect themselves from their enemies. If you want to protect your family, FEAR THE LORD. Take His word and make it the law in your lives and in your households. Pour into your children and direct them the way they are to go. Prepare for the days when the devil attacks. I read a quote from a man that said “I once saw a man bring a knife to a gun fight.” You bring a knife to a gunfight and that will be your last fight. Be prepare to wage war with your enemy, but know this. If God is on your side, then nothing will be able to stand against you. Walk in His ways, walk in His will, and He will protectively guide you along the pathway of life.

She is Blessed- Everywhere she goes she is a blessing. To her husband, to her family, to her community, to her God, ever to herself. Because of this, those who around her call her blessed. They call her excellent. She is worth to be praised. “Together is the most beautiful word in the dictionary outside of the word mother.”—Ralph Waldo Emerson (when speaking about the benefits of unity)

Now men, if you have a virtuous woman in your life, help her achieve her goals. Aid her in raising the family as she seeks to prosper you. A virtuous woman will advance your life, and not drag you down. Help her help you, and bless her as she blesses you. Support her as she supports your family. Treat her as the jewel she is.

We would not have life without our mothers. God knit us together fearfully and wonderfully within her womb, and she bore us into this life. From the beginning of time, from Cain, Able, and Seth all the way to you and I, mothers have been bearing us into the world.

Many of us would not be where we are in our spiritual lives today if it was not for our mother.

I want you to do something for me. If you can, tell your mom how much she means to you. Tell her how much you appreciate the sacrifices she made. Let her know that you love her. Some day you will look back and know that she was right, and that she was doing her best to help you in life. Then one day you will only be able to think fondly of her. Treasure her while she is with you.