God's Master Plan for the Family - Part 2

Attention Grabber

show picture of a blue print

a blueprint is the Master Plan for a building, if you build the house according to the dimensions on the blue print, you will achieve what the architect intended

if you leave something off, or change the dimensions, then the house will not be built properly . . . and the more you

In the Bible God has provided a blue print/Master Plan for the family, and if you leave something off, or change the dimensions, or even try to draw up your own blueprints, then your family will not be built properly . . . and the further away you get from the blueprint/master plan . . . the more problems/issues you will have . . .

Review

last week we went to Genesis and learned some things about God’s blue print/master plan. In His plan:

marriage is meant to be between one created male and one female

marriage is meant as a reflection of God

marriage is meant as the starting point for children (godly children)

marriage is meant to empower

marriage is meant for companionship

Intro

Last week I went to a wedding that was in a Luxurious hotel in Dallas. A hotel that had hosted Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip. The wedding had everything! . . . . even a harpist. The decorations were top notch, THREE people taking video.

As soon as the ceremony was over, and you walked out the door, they put a glass of wine in your hand, and as we waited for them to convert to room from a wedding chapel to a wedding reception, then they passed out appetizers (miniature crab cakes, shrimp cocktail, fancy bread/meat thing) And there was access to an open bar, and a photo booth

They had this fancy rectangular glass imprinted with the name of every guest, and what table you were to sit at. At the reception, they had expert servers providing salad, soup, and then three entrees to choose from. Three forks, two spoons, and knife, bowl and two or three plates, 3 beautiful crystal glasses, small gift of expensive chocolate for every guest (explain lobster bisque) . . . it was a fancy wedding

And . . . I’ve aslo been to a wedding in my dad’s living room (no music, no decorations, no refreshment, just a quick ceremony)

So what makes a proper wedding? When we lay all trappings aside, what is the blue print for the wedding ceremony, and what does the wedding ceremony teach about God’s Master Plan for the family?

let’s go back to Genesis and look at Adam and Eve, the prototype,

Reminder: if you have built some things in your family that are contrary to the blueprint, you can’t go back in the past and change things . . . you have to do like the Bible says: forget those things that are behind, and press forward toward the mark.

Genesis 2:22 NASB95

22 The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.

God made the man, then he fashioned the woman from the ma’s rib. Then God brings her to Adam . . . and we see a picture of a father (Heavenly) bringing his daughter to the groom

in God’s blueprint there is a “a giving away” of the woman

in most modern day weddings, the Father walks his daughter down the aisle, and then we hear the words, “who gives this woman to be married”

This is important because the Father is supposed to be the protector, provider, and caregiver of his daughter.

So in giving his daughter away, the father is saying that he believes that the groom is able to take on the responsibilities of providing, protecting, and caring for his daughter

Therefore, it is not insignificant when the question is asked, “Who gives this woman away to be married.” For whoever answers is saying:

I believe this man can handle the responsibility

I am transferring my responsibilities over to him

if you want her, you can have her, but you must take everything that comes with her

So, not only is it polite for a man who wants to get engaged to ask a woman’s Father for his daughter’s hand in marriage, but it is biblical (in God’s blueprint, there is protection from the woman)

I would tell every young lady that when you are dating, slip that in the conversation. “whoever marries me will have to talk to my daddy first”

I would tell every young man, ask the father for permission, let him check you out . . . . he might even protect you “boy you don’t want this”

But what if the woman has a bad father, a foolish father, or he is estranged, or even deceased.

Just get as close to the blueprint as possible - mother, close relative

or you might not be able to have this step at all

. . . I am just sharing the Master Plan

now no one can make you do anything, the decision is up to you: You CAN elope, a woman CAN a woman can marry against the father’s wishes, but the Master Plan, the best situation contains “a giving away” of the woman, and not a “taking away” of the woman,

Genesis 2:23 NASB95

23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.”

The next part of the blueprint/master plan is a public vow made before God

Adam makes a vow with the Lord as his witness . . . and in many weddings, we still have vows

I take thee . . . . to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer for pooer, in sickness and in health, till death to us part . . .

Let me show you how serious God takes these vows . . .

Malachi 2:14 NLT

14 You cry out, “Why doesn’t the Lord accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the Lord witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows.

God stopped accepting some husbands worship because they broke their wedding vows

God takes the words you say before him as a witness, seriously

the blueprint contains a solemn and serious vow . . . you are entering into a covenant with your spouse (other version of this verse use the word covenant)

a covenant is a divine relationship contract . . . that’s serious stuff, don’t take marriage lightly

(back to Genesis)

Genesis 2:23 NASB95

23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.”

In his vow, Adam says “this is now” . . .bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh.

What does that mean?

she was definitely formed from his bone and flesh . . . UNLIKE (remember this is Genesis) . . . unlike all the animals that roamed the earth

ESV translates it as “This at last is bone of m bones”

He is saying that she is kin to me, she is MY family, she belongs with me

Adam is making a declaration of kinship

and these words are used throughout the Bible as a declaration of kinship

Genesis 29, when Jacob found his uncle Laban, his uncle said surely you are my bone and my flesh - my kin

2 Samuel 19, When David had lost his throne, but was now in a position to reclaim it, he told people from his tribe that they should be the first to welcome him back as king because you are my bone and my flesh . . . you are my kin

Adam is declaring that this is MY kin, she and I are in this together, we belong together, it is literally us against the world, it’s me and you baby, we are united and undivided

And when a family is out of whack, it’s often because the husband and wife have gone against this blueprint, and are not acting like kin . . . not united, but divided.

Some spouses are divided and not united in finances

He has his my money, she has her money

what happened to bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh?

it’s supposed to be our money, no matter who makes it.

when the husband brings home a check, we got paid

when the wife brings home a check, we got paid

when the husband gets a raise, we got a raise

when the wife gets a bonus, we got a bonus

we’ll dig some more into that later

some spouses are divided in the discipline of children. When the children realize that, they will begin to play the parents against each other. . . . Children need to know that mom and dad are united. (talk out those disagreements behind closed doors)

some spouses are divided spiritually, morally, in priorities, ambition for different things. . . and you end up with two households living in the house.

if you are not married, you need to do a lot of communication to see if you all can have a united marriage

if you are already married, whatever you are divided on, you need turn to the Bible and let the Word of God settle the dispute . . . if it is not that cut and dry, then there will probably have to be some compromise, some yielding, some understanding . . . but you need to strive for the blueprint and be united and undivided

Now in this vow, “this is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh” Adam is also declaring that this woman is my closest relationship

she come before everything else that God has made

that means that in the blueprint/Master Plan for marriage, the wife comes before everyone else - parents, siblings, and even children

and likewise a woman’s husband comes before everything else - mom, dad, brothers, sisters, and children

you love your parents, and siblings, and children, and childhood friend . . . but everyone slides down on your priority list.

Theoretical Question - wife and mom are drowning (dad and father); save your wife

and if you have an attitude about that . . . don’t get married

Real question (wife and baby’s life in danger) - save your wife

if you are single with children and want to get married, you have to be ready to put that person before your children.

well no one will ever come before my children! That’s fine, then don’t get married. Marriage is a “this person is my number one priority” type situation.

a lot of blended families have trouble because the step-parent is not put first, and the kids know it and take advantage of it

it has to be established, “Kids, I love you . . . but there is a new dynamic”

this woman is now the Madam of the house or this Man is now the master of the house

and I would not have married someone who wouldn’t treat your right

but from here on out, they are bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh, they are first

so the key is to marry someone that you trust will be a blessing to your children, even when you put them first.

I better note that this includes the beloved pet

The blueprint wedding ceremony teaches that

the woman is to be given away, and becomes the responsibility of the man

there are solemn vows made (serious, sacred, and binding in God’s eyes)

the husband and wife are to be united and undivided

the husband and wife are each other’s closest relationship and number one priority

She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man

Hebrew -she shall be called “isha “because she was taken out of ish

in other words, she came from man, kinda like a man, but definitely not a man, she is a different gender

another nod to male and female in God’s blueprint for marriage

notice that the woman did not make a vow.

I don’t believe there is anything wrong with a woman making a vow, but there is a lesson on who bears the most responsibility for a marriage and family

Genesis 2:24 NASB95

24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

for this reason a man shall leave his other and father

the woman was given away by her family

but man is to leave his family: leave mom and dad and be joined to his wife

from KJV we get leave and cleave

What does leave your mother and father indicate?

in the master plan, in the blueprint: we see that a man who wants to be married should be able to stand on his own

in other words be spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially prepared to leave his family and cleave to his wife to his wife to start a new family

you might now score a 100 in all those categories, but you should be at least passing with a 70

and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh

this is talking about consummation, consummation is part of the marriage

marriage is not complete until consummation

this consummation also happened after the vow was given . . .

the blue print for marriage has two virgins getting together

I know we live in a time where people have all of these bodies, but the plan calls for abstinence before marriage

think about it, what if people followed just this part of the plan

all STD’s gone

All children born out of wedlock gone

all baby momma drama gone

all wondering if someone in their past was better than you gone

women would not have to worry about if a man was going to hit it and quit it . . . gone

men wouldn’t have to worry about if she was for the streets

that’s just the tip of the iceberg

The blueprint wedding ceremony teaches that

the woman is to be given away, and becomes the responsibility of the man

there are solemn vows made (serious, sacred, and binding in God’s eyes)

the husband and wife are to be united and undivided

the husband and wife are each other’s closest relationship and number one priority

a man is not ready to get married if he is not prepared to leave

man an woman are to be virgins

Genesis 2:25 NASB95

25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

that nakedness is supposed to be for husband and wife’s eyes and there should be no shame

some parts of your body should only be seen by your wife . . . folks love sending pics now days

i’ll just move on

The blueprint wedding ceremony teaches that

the woman is to be given away, and becomes the responsibility of the man

there are solemn vows made (serious, sacred, and binding in God’s eyes)

the husband and wife are to be united and undivided

the husband and wife are each other’s closest relationship and number one priority

a man is not ready to get married if he is not prepared to leave

man an woman are to be virgins

nakedness is good between a husband and wife

Jesus and Salvation

marriage is a covenant

salvation is also a covenant, a relationship contract between you and God

you accept his son, he guarantees your salvation - for by grace are you saved through faith

One of our deacons is having memory issues. And I specifically asked, and he doesn’t mind me sharing.

and when you add memory issues with cell phone technology, there is a major problem

and he has gotten lost, trying to get to the rehab facilities to see his wife.

But has been determined to see his wife, because she is his responsibility