Chosen: Inner Strength

English Standard Version Chapter 3

7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Likewise

Husband! In the same way that Jesus gave up His will,

And He suffered and sacrificed Himself

So, you too, husbands are to live in the same way

Last week we acknowledged that for wives, to live in a way that points the attention of her husband to Christ, it takes a will that is submitted to the Father

And, husbands, men, before we go any farther, the same is true for us

It is a huge mistake for us to enter into marriage or into a relationship with a woman and think that she is going to just swoon at your feet because of your manliness

And that everything is just going to be great

You may end up with a marriage..of sorts.

At least you may look like you have a marriage

You may stay together, live together

But what are you going to do when there are bumps in the relationship? When your relationship is severely tested?

When you have major disagreements?

If (may it never be) she is unfaithful to you?

What do you have to hang your hat on, to keep this relationship together besides sheer will power, if your will…your entire life is not submitted to the will of the Father

Marriage takes a death…dying to ourselves for the sake of our wives

And what hopefully we are discovering together here in 1 Peter is that the instructions that he is giving to slaves, wives, husbands, the Body of Christ,

Really, it’s the same instruction. That is to SUBMIT.

To submit to the Father and to submit to each other

This is what it means to live as Chosen people and as image bearers

Live with your wives in an understanding way

How do we as husbands live with our wives in an understanding way?

Boy, this is a hard one for us guys, isn’t it?

Book: Everything men know about women

We laugh, but men, this is a serious thing

We do struggle to understand our wives, just as they at time struggle to understand us.

But Paul in Ephesians 5 talks of marriage being a great mystery

And I think that this is part of it. We don’t have each other figured out. That’s part of the mystery

We should continue to investigate

Furthermore, it is a command: We are commanded to live with our wives in an understanding way

The question is, do you understand your wife?

Do you understand about her heart? Do you understand the things that are important to your wife? The things that she longs for, the things that make her feel cherished and loved and valued?

We as husbands are going to be held accountable for this

Bring Heidi up

Showing honor—again, a command

Honor: respect, value, worth, high price

Something that is valuable, you care for it

A careful attention to her needs

Watching the coronation of King Charles the other day

everyone showed honor to him

Bowing their knees or bending their heads in honor to the king

We show honor to our wives by our careful attention to their needs,

physical or emotional

Do you think about honoring your wife, or has marriage become sort of “old hat”, and you simply live together

The weaker vessel—

This does NOT mean spiritually or emotionally weaker than men

I honestly don’t know where I would be without the spiritual strength of my wife

She prays, she exercises faith

On days when my faith is weak, her faith is gigantic

She cries out in prayer on behalf of her family and her church

I don’t know where I would be without the emotional strength of my wife

In our times of transition and feeling unsettled

IN times of grief, she has been a rock for me

The emotional and spiritual strength of women is just as great, and many times, greater, than that of men

Joni Erickson Tada

Elizabeth Elliot—women who have withstood great tests and come through purified as gold through the fire

But what Peter is talking about is that women are (generally physically weaker than men

Again, generally speaking.

My daughter could lick me in volleyball. She’s faster than I am and can jump better than I can

Olympics—elite women athletes that could beat the majority of men in this country in a footrace or whatever their sport is

But the point is, for us as men to show honor to women

To attend to their needs

To treat them gently and with a great deal of respect

Don’t presume to have your way with them because you might be bigger and stronger than they are

Because here’s the thing: They are heirs with you—equally partaking in the grace of Christ

NLT ...She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life.

Sometimes relationships between genders, and gender roles in church can get complicated

But whatever side you find yourself on, this has to stay in the forefront of our minds: husband and wife, men and women, both partake equally in the grace of Christ.

Peter ends with this serious warning: So that your prayers may not be hindered

Men, how are you doing in taking care of your wives?

Are you seeking to understand her heart?

Are you honoring her?

If not, you are in danger of having your prayers hindered

You are in danger of being like those in the church of Sardis in Reveleation 3.

Jesus says to them, “I know all the things you do, and that you have a reputation for being alive—but you are dead”

There are many marriages that look good on the outside.

husband and wife look great when they show up in the community or at church

But no one would ever guess what is going on behind closed doors

you may have a husband who feels like things for him are falling apart

Could be addiction

Could be inability to control his finances

Or relationships at church are not what he would like them to be

And when he cries out to God, he feels like his prayers aren’t going any higher than the ceiling

Well, maybe a place to start is for him to consider

Am I seeking to live with my wife in an understanding way

In a way that honors her

Realizing that she is equal with me in the grace that God has shown me

And if you as a husband aren’t sure how to do that, it is no shame to ask for help

In fact, it might be a matter of spiritual life and death that you start to get this figured out!

This is the value that God places on marriage

If our marriages are to be a picture of Christ and the church, then

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Talk about men being held accountable to caring for their wife’s heart in a way that is gentle and kind

What are things that I do as a man that communicate that I don’t care about your heart?

When I don’t take time to ask how her day was…actually listen to what she says

Without offering solutions

When she is talking but I’m not engaged

When she feels like her opinion doesn’t matter

Not that she feels that I have to do what she is saying, but at least know that I listened well

Feels respected when I try to explain why I made the decision that I did

When I don’t know her favorite candy bar or ice cream

When you go to a restaurant regularly, do you know the kind of food that she orders?

When everything we do revolves around my world and my likes

What are things that I can do that communicate that I care for her heart?

Drawing her into conversations or activities with peers

Being willing to pick up the load at home

When she isn’t feeling well

has had a rough day

schedule is full, etc

Planning special things for us to do together

taking time for coffee

trips, etc

Actively engage when she is talking and not try to fix her

also. Not dismiss her emotions as trivial, even if I think she is over reacting

When I share about my day including my thoughts and emotions about my day

Prayers being hindered—Church at Sardis

Revelation 3: “I know all the things you do, and that you have a reputation for being alive—but you are dead. 2 Wake up! Strengthen what little remains, for even what is left is almost dead. I find that your actions do not meet the requirements of my God.

Questions

Conrad

Heidi, how do you feel about the instructions to submit to your husband

How do you feel about being called a weaker vessel?

1 Peter 2:11 “11 Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul.”