The Virtuous Woman
Notes
Transcript
It’s a common misconception put forth by the enemies of God that the Bible is a book that degrades women. Nothing could be further from the truth. The Bible, although it is an ancient document written in days when women were not valued and often mistreated, exalts womanhood to its proper place. In the text we are looking at today we see this woman is recognized for her:
Strength, intelligence, ability, worth, necessity
I know there are people who hate to hear a sermon on Proverbs 31. They think it’s a man getting on to the women about not living up to a certain standard set by chauvinistic men.
Hold on. Who wrote this?
Look at 31:1. It was King Lemuel’s mother. It was a woman.
The next thing I want to point out is there are no commands given to women in these passages. It’s simply an observation. The only commands given are to the family of the woman (31:31).
In fact, this isn’t even an actual woman. It’s the description of the type of woman a young man should look for to be his wife. Proverbs was written to young men.
Here is a passage written by a woman to man.
The purpose is to encourage him to judge women by their character alone.
Who could argue with that?
It was so important that young men remember this that it was written using an acrostic.
There are 22 verses because there are 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet. If it were written in English, it would go like this.
Verse 10 starts with A
Verse 11 starts with B
Verse 12 starts with C
This helped with memorization.
The young men have been warned about the type of woman to stay away from throughout the book:
The evil woman (6:25)
The neighbor’s wife (6:29)
The foolish woman (9:13)
The quarrelsome woman (21:9)
The adulterous woman (30:20)
Now they are told the type of woman they should look for.
Listen to me ladies. The point is not to be like the virtuous woman so God will give you a husband. That’s not it at all. The point is to embrace the wisdom of God so that you will please the Lord. Let’s look at this woman.
1. She loved the Lord supremely.
A. She is an example of the wisdom Proverbs teaches.
One can argue that she is the embodiment of the wisdom of the book of Proverbs. For example:
The book opens with Lady Wisdom at the city gates pleading with people to embrace her teachings (1:20-33).
The book ends with the virtuous woman being praised at the gates of the city because she fears the Lord (31:30-31).
In the Book of Proverbs, she is the standard. This woman lives her life by the fear and wisdom of the Lord.
Before she is a wife
Before she is a mother
She is a woman of God
She doesn’t need a husband to be a woman of God.
She doesn’t need children to be a woman of God.
She is a woman of God because she has heard the call of God and surrendered her life to him.
She heard wisdom crying in the streets.
“How long will you love being simple?
How long will fools hate knowledge?
If you turn to me I will pour out my spirit to you, I will make my words known to you.”
This was God calling her. She came to Him.
B. She fears the Lord (31:30)
“Charm is deceitful” Some have a sparkle, a gift, it can make them appear better than they are.
“beauty is vain” beauty fades. It always fades.
We cannot always be charming.
We cannot always be beautiful.
When all that is faded what will be left?
Diet & exercise won’t make a person godly.
Cosmetics can’t make a person godly.
The fear of the Lord made this woman godly.
Do you know what some women fear above all other things?
Getting wrinkles.
Gaining weight.
Turning grey.
Losing their teeth.
Because these things are their greatest fear, they allow these fears to dictate their lives.
This woman fears God above all things. Her fear of the Lord is the root of all her character.
The way she dresses
The way she talks
The way she works
The way she parents
The secret to her noble character is the fear of God.
Listen folks:
When pleasing God is your greatest pursuit, grieving Him will be your greatest dread.
Jesus summarized how to live the Christian life with Matthew 6:33 “Seek first….”
C. She is a rare treasure.
“Who can find?”
“She is far more precious than jewels”
What’s rare is valuable. She is rare therefore she is valuable.
Excellent- “strength or power” context suggests
it is not physical or political, but moral.
She is a woman of powerful moral character.
This is what makes her so valuable.
I have a few things to say to different folks concerning this.
To our unmarried virtuous women:
Remember, the devil will always try and steal what is valuable.
Watch out ladies! If the devil can get a virtuous woman to marry an unvirtuous man, he can do great damage.
Virtuous- “strength or power” context suggests
It is not physical or political, but moral.
She is a woman of powerful moral character
That is pleasing to the Lord.
Virtuous women should not settle for unvirtuous men.
You are not a damsel in distress.
This isn’t a fairy tail.
You don’t need someone to come and slay a dragon for you.
You have Jesus. He has defeated death, hell, and the grave for you. Don’t settle for an unvirtuous man. Wait until the Lord sends you a godly man.
To our unmarried virtuous men:
She is to be sought after.
Look for a godly woman. Search for her with diligence.
To our men who are married to virtuous women:
Keep her and protect her. She is valuable. She is rare. She is precious.
She loved the Lord supremely.
2. She loved her family Biblically.
A. She was a great blessing to her husband (11-12, 23).
He trusts her.
Husbands were often gone for long periods of time for work.
In 7:19 there is a woman who attempts to have an affair with a man, and she tells the man “My husband is gone away on a long journey.”
In our day we might explain it like this.
Her husband trusts her so much he’s not worried about what is on her phone.
That’s how you know you trust each other.
Do you have one another’s passwords?
Do you have access to their phone/computer?
What does his trust result in?
Gain. It’s not a misplaced trust.
There is no scandal.
She doesn’t go viral for freaking out in a fast-food restaurant.
She isn’t posting ridiculous things online.
She does him good and not harm all the days of her life.
Consistent- not worried about waking up to a
Different woman one day. She is a faithful
Life partner. She will continue to be what she
was when he met her.
She makes his reputation better (23).
People tell him he has a good wife. That isn’t always the case.
Some men say about certain women, “Boy,
I sure am glad I’m not married to her!”
Poison in coffee joke
Why is it important that her husband thinks so much of her?
Because he knows her best. He sees her at her most vulnerable times.
Illustration:
Older couple gets married. She was a very regal woman.
On their first night at home they are getting ready for bed.
She takes off her wig.
Takes out her teeth.
Removes her prosthetic leg
Takes out a glass eye
He says, “You’re not half the woman I thought you were.”
Marriage has a way of revealing who we really are.
This woman was truly a help meet to her husband.
B. She was a great mother to her children.
1. She fed them (15).
This is a wealthy woman. Her husband has a great job. She has maidens. But notice she gets up early and cooks for everyone. Even the maidens.
Her wealth did not move her away from being a mother to her children.
She cooked for them. She could afford not to, but she did anyway.
Times have changed and meal prep is a lot easier. You don’t have to do like your grandmother did. A mark of a great mother is:
She makes sure her children eat well.
Not fast food for every meal.
Some of my greatest memories of the women in my life that have passed away centers around the meals they cooked.
2. She clothed them (13,21).
Skillfully “Wool & flax” she made them
Willingly
Quality “scarlet” (21)
Seasonally “winter” (21)
Have you ever seen how husbands dress children? It’s normally not very good.
She cared about what her children wore and made sure they were dressed appropriately.
3. She cared for them (27).
She looks well to the ways of her household.
The family is fed!
The family is clean (I’m convinced boys would never bathe if it were not for women).
The family is provided for.
She is involved in all that goes on in her home.
C. She was diligent in her role as a wife and mother.
She’s not lazy! (27b)
“Does not eat the bread of idleness”
What’s the bread of idleness?
Somebody said it was biscuits from a can.
It means she isn’t lazy.
She is hand making the clothing (13)
She gets little sleep (15,18). When she gets up it’s dark, when she goes to bed it’s late.
She does all of this without our modern conveniences (19).
Our ladies don’t even know what a distaff and spindle are!
Our world is different. The principle remains the same. This woman served her family well.
She was a wife.
She was a mother.
She embraced that calling with all her might.
She loved her family Biblically.
3. She loved herself properly.
A. She has personal time.
She makes bed coverings for herself (22).
She decorates her bedroom. It’s the way she wants it.
She decorates herself (22). Fine linen and purple were imported clothing styles. She dressed well.
She carried herself well (25).
She clothed herself in strength and dignity.
“She laughed at the time to come.” That means she was not worried about the future. She was content.
She looked at all she was and all she had, and she was content with it.
Some might think her dressing well is a contradiction of the command for women to dress modestly (1 Tim. 2:9-10).
That’s not the case. The command is a warning against having one type of beauty while forsaking the other.
Take care of your family but take care of yourself too!
B. She has a personal income.
Notice the ways she earns money:
Real estate (16)
Farming (16)
Sewing (24)
It is easier in our day for a woman to find her niche to make money. So many women make extra money working through avenues like Pinterest, Facebook Market Place, Photography.
Much like our mothers and grandmothers made income through sewing, cleaning, cooking, etc.
It should be noted this woman is not a homebody:
She seeks supplies (13) Brings in unique
items (14), considers a field, buys it,
plants it (16), helps the poor (20), knows
the people in the community (23),
delivers merchandise (24).
We should prepare our daughters to be able to provide for themselves.
There is a shortage of godly men for them to marry. We don’t want them to marry because they need someone to support them. Even if they do marry and are able to stay home and be a housewife, they need to be prepared to earn an income. It is a wonderful and fulfilling thing to know you are providing financially for those you love.
The idea of a wife sitting at home and waiting for her husband to give her an allowance is not Biblical. Women can have a personal income. It is a blessing to them and the entire family.
C. She has a personal ministry.
She is compassionate to the poor and needy (20). She does for her family, for herself and for others.
She is a teacher of the Word (26).
She opens her mouth with wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
The love of God flows from this woman as she teaches others about the Lord.
We have a surplus of loud, proud, mean women in our culture. We could benefit from ladies like this.
Others recognize the hand of God on her.
Her children rise up and call her blessed.
Her husband praises her (28).
Couple of things:
1) They call her blessed because they recognize she is not all that she is in her own power. God is active in her life.
2) They call her blessed publicly. “rise up” refers to action taken prior to an important event. Like an announcement or a toast.
I want to point something else out. It says, “her husband also praises her.”
I say that because sometimes a woman may have a great relationship with her children but not with her husband. That’s not the case here. Look at what the husband says in verse 29:
Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”
He says she is the greatest wife and mother there is.
Do we tell the women in our life how much they mean to us? Do we say it out loud and to them. Speaking directly to them is important.
Not merely a card. But face to face, we should praise them.
Women of God need that.
Women of God deserve that from us.
Women of God are rare.
We should protect them.
We should enjoy them while we have them.
Ladies, no matter who you are you can be virtuous. All who come to Christ can shine for Him. Make it your priority to live for Christ in such a way that others rise up and call you blessed.